Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

[Anonymous]

Wow 😲😳

Pay your bills!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paying off the cost of her education does not obligate OP to help her mom with future financial issues. The real issue is does OP have an obligation to pay for at least part of her education now that she has more money than she did at 18-22. If her name is not on the loan, she doesn’t have a legal obligation even though the loan was taken out for her benefit. She can tell her mother to handle it by herself. Does OP have any moral obligation?

She has no moral obligation to the lender. Let be clear about this. She would be paying the lender whose contract resides with her mother. If my parents default on their mortgage should I swoop in and make sure the mortgage lender doesn’t lose money? If my parents paid for everything I needed as a kid on credit cards, never paid the credit card company should I make sure the credit card company gets their money? No of course not.

If you believe the OP has a moral obligation to help her mother, that is different. Paying this debt may not be in the best interest of her mother. If OP doesn’t have much room to support her mother down the road when she really needs it then throwing 20 K at this may not be wise financially.

OP's mom can be like our fearless leader Donald Trump and declare bankruptcy and discharge her financial obligations. That's apparently the American way. But let's not throw morality at the poor OP who had no idea about any of this til recently, while cheering on billionaires do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow 😲😳

Pay your bills!

Who are you talking to here? OP does not have a bill related to the parent-plus loan. Her mother, who signed the loan, is the sole obligor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow 😲😳

Pay your bills!

Who are you talking to here? OP does not have a bill related to the parent-plus loan. Her mother, who signed the loan, is the sole obligor.

+1 Some people on this thread need to take a basic financial literacy class.

[Anonymous]

Your parents divorced and your mom can’t afford to pay.

You can ask your dad to pay for the loan or you can pay it yourself. Anything else is shameful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paying off the cost of her education does not obligate OP to help her mom with future financial issues. The real issue is does OP have an obligation to pay for at least part of her education now that she has more money than she did at 18-22. If her name is not on the loan, she doesn’t have a legal obligation even though the loan was taken out for her benefit. She can tell her mother to handle it by herself. Does OP have any moral obligation?

YES! And where does the value of their relationship figure into this? What will their future together be like after the OP says to her mother, "Not my loan, not my problem"??? Sheesh, what kind of family relationships do you people have? What if her mom had said that to her when she was trying to get her degree? "Not my education, not my problem." Do you think OP would have a loving relationship with her mother now if her mother had done that, or would she be posting about it on DCUM for the rest of her life trying to drum up sympathy? I bet on the latter.

Some of you people are really cold.

Hey Richie rich-great if you can but not every young family with kids in daycare has an extra thousand or two per month to pick up a family member’s loan obligation with no advanced notice. By the time the mom casually suggested OP pick up the obligation, the loan has already been in arrears for a year.

I took out loans for college-the max allowed. My parents took out loans too. Adults need to manage their obligations-dropping it on an adult child’s lap at the last minute doesn’t make them “morally responsible.”

+1 I'm not sure if this is a troll post, but some people seem oddly fixated on bringing in morality into this. OP didn't sign for this loan. OP was presumably a teenager when his mother did sign for this loan. OP did not let the loan fall into arrears for 1 year. This is not OP's problem unless he really has sufficient funds to take it on. As others have said, this is a broader issue of OP's mother making bad financial choices in her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents divorced and your mom can’t afford to pay.

You can ask your dad to pay for the loan or you can pay it yourself. Anything else is shameful.

That's your opinion. Not a fact. I think you're shameful for your nasty posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

+1

+2 Having one crazy poster repeating the same thing over and over doesn't make it so. Not the OP's loan. Not the OP's credit score. Not the OP's decision to take the loan. Not the OP's responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paying off the cost of her education does not obligate OP to help her mom with future financial issues. The real issue is does OP have an obligation to pay for at least part of her education now that she has more money than she did at 18-22. If her name is not on the loan, she doesn’t have a legal obligation even though the loan was taken out for her benefit. She can tell her mother to handle it by herself. Does OP have any moral obligation?

She has no moral obligation to the lender. Let be clear about this. She would be paying the lender whose contract resides with her mother. If my parents default on their mortgage should I swoop in and make sure the mortgage lender doesn’t lose money? If my parents paid for everything I needed as a kid on credit cards, never paid the credit card company should I make sure the credit card company gets their money? No of course not.

If you believe the OP has a moral obligation to help her mother, that is different. Paying this debt may not be in the best interest of her mother. If OP doesn’t have much room to support her mother down the road when she really needs it then throwing 20 K at this may not be wise financially.

OP's mom can be like our fearless leader Donald Trump and declare bankruptcy and discharge her financial obligations. That's apparently the American way. But let's not throw morality at the poor OP who had no idea about any of this til recently, while cheering on billionaires do the same.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

+1

+2 Having one crazy poster repeating the same thing over and over doesn't make it so. Not the OP's loan. Not the OP's credit score. Not the OP's decision to take the loan. Not the OP's responsibility.

I think it’s just a troll(s) at this point. It’s the normal troll behavior to be as contrarian as possible to the OP. They started immediately on page 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

+1

+2 Having one crazy poster repeating the same thing over and over doesn't make it so. Not the OP's loan. Not the OP's credit score. Not the OP's decision to take the loan. Not the OP's responsibility.

I think it’s just a troll(s) at this point. It’s the normal troll behavior to be as contrarian as possible to the OP. They started immediately on page 1.

I reported this thread--let's see if Jeff thinks someone is sockpuppeting for fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

+1

+2 Having one crazy poster repeating the same thing over and over doesn't make it so. Not the OP's loan. Not the OP's credit score. Not the OP's decision to take the loan. Not the OP's responsibility.

Not the OP's credit score. Not the OP's decision to take the loan. Not the OP's responsibility. Not the OP's mom. No, wait a minute, it IS the OP's mom. So how is she going to feel when her mom's house goes into foreclosure and she has nowhere to live? Still not OP's problem? heartless.

OP, just call her up and talk to her about it. Ask how much she can pay per month and see how much you can pay. Why are you paying yoru DH's loan payments? I guess his parents didn't help him the way your mom helped you....