Redshirting a March birthday boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

If the kids are more mature and well behaved, why do you hear about all kinds of behavior problems at some privates AND, if they are more mature, why do privates not often start Algebra until 8th or 9th grade? So, these kids are much older than their public school cohorts, and their math and other classes are on a slower track. I'm not even sure how you compare kids at that point as then they don't seem much smarter or capable, just older.

Have you ever stepped foot inside a private school? Your understanding of math and behavior are not accurate.

Yes, I have. We did private until second and looked at multiple schools in 4th and 5th grades and I wasn’t that impressed. Did summer school at one and the teaching was subpar as they hired a phd student with no teaching skills after promising their own teachers.

Come MS when we did not want to return due to Covid, could not find a school that would keep my child’s math track which was Algebra in 6th. One said we could pay extra for a teacher to tutor but come hs they did not offer anything past calculus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

It’s not an unreasonable question. Why should other parents pretend? These older kids are usually bullies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

Does your child also say mean things about students in his class with disabilities?

These kids don’t have disabilities or they should be getting help or a specialized school and most are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

It’s not an unreasonable question. Why should other parents pretend? These older kids are usually bullies.

Your parents failed you if your response to whether a kid who's a half a year older is "dumb or something" is 'good point.' I guess I shouldn't be surprised that douche bags raise douche bags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

NP: The child can improve his wording, but the speculation will still be there.

It's not the wording, it's the sentiment that's the issue. There's a world.pf difference between a child noting that there's a range of ages in a class and jumping to the conclusion that a slightly older kid is "dumb." That behavior and reasoning is learned from the parent and doesn't reflect well on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

If the kids are more mature and well behaved, why do you hear about all kinds of behavior problems at some privates AND, if they are more mature, why do privates not often start Algebra until 8th or 9th grade? So, these kids are much older than their public school cohorts, and their math and other classes are on a slower track. I'm not even sure how you compare kids at that point as then they don't seem much smarter or capable, just older.

Have you ever stepped foot inside a private school? Your understanding of math and behavior are not accurate.

Yes, I have. We did private until second and looked at multiple schools in 4th and 5th grades and I wasn’t that impressed. Did summer school at one and the teaching was subpar as they hired a phd student with no teaching skills after promising their own teachers.

Come MS when we did not want to return due to Covid, could not find a school that would keep my child’s math track which was Algebra in 6th. One said we could pay extra for a teacher to tutor but come hs they did not offer anything past calculus.

Publics tend to accelerate kids in math but learn material at a more shallow level, while privates tend to go slower and deeper in math.

That being said, it is possible to catch up in private as some will still let you accelerate on different paths or take courses over summer like geometry.

The reality is more school to school variation that you would expect. Our private offers multiple courses past the equivalent of AP Calc BC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

If the kids are more mature and well behaved, why do you hear about all kinds of behavior problems at some privates AND, if they are more mature, why do privates not often start Algebra until 8th or 9th grade? So, these kids are much older than their public school cohorts, and their math and other classes are on a slower track. I'm not even sure how you compare kids at that point as then they don't seem much smarter or capable, just older.

Have you ever stepped foot inside a private school? Your understanding of math and behavior are not accurate.

Yes, I have. We did private until second and looked at multiple schools in 4th and 5th grades and I wasn’t that impressed. Did summer school at one and the teaching was subpar as they hired a phd student with no teaching skills after promising their own teachers.

Come MS when we did not want to return due to Covid, could not find a school that would keep my child’s math track which was Algebra in 6th. One said we could pay extra for a teacher to tutor but come hs they did not offer anything past calculus.

Publics tend to accelerate kids in math but learn material at a more shallow level, while privates tend to go slower and deeper in math.

That being said, it is possible to catch up in private as some will still let you accelerate on different paths or take courses over summer like geometry.

The reality is more school to school variation that you would expect. Our private offers multiple courses past the equivalent of AP Calc BC.

That’s not true at all. The public schools have moved to the Singapore Math style approach. They do not accelerate math. They build heavily on concepts, etc. But a public school in a good school district is going to have more advanced students than a private school and will cater to those students, which means faster acceleration for the advanced kids. I actually switched to public because the math was far superior to my high ranking private.

[Anonymous]

I would not consider it, unless there are developmental or other issues. September, August, and possibly other summer birthdays are worth considering, but May, April, March, no. He won't be with his peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

NP: The child can improve his wording, but the speculation will still be there.

It's not the wording, it's the sentiment that's the issue. There's a world.pf difference between a child noting that there's a range of ages in a class and jumping to the conclusion that a slightly older kid is "dumb." That behavior and reasoning is learned from the parent and doesn't reflect well on you.

I’m the PP with the kid who shares a birthday with the boy who is a year older. My child is incredulous about it. My child is not a bully. He has never mentioned anything about children with disabilities in the class. He has mentioned that there is a reading club for kids who have trouble reading, but he has done so with kindness. He said something like, “that’s too bad that Autumn can’t really read. She seems so upset about it.”

There is no learned behavior from me. I don’t know this boy. I don’t know his parents. I didn’t know that he was exactly a year older than my son. When my child said he must be “dumb or something,” I said I have no idea why he is a year older or why his parents decided to keep him another year.

DC continues to bring it up because he is fascinated by it and really cannot understand. He fluctuates from wondering if the other child is bored or dumb. I say I have no idea. I don’t.

All I do know is that I would never have done the same to my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

What an own goal here. You do realize this is because your DC has bad manners and has you for a parent, right, and that this is not common among the normal families who teach character to their children? If I had heard something like that from my kids (none of whom were redshirted and one of whom was one of the younger kids), I would have been horrified and immediately corrected them. I certainly would never have talked so proudly about their appalling behavior on DCUM. But of course I never heard anything like that from them.

Anyhow, yes, I do believe your child did this. But most other children by age 8 have much better manners and observational powers. You and your child are outliers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

If the kids are more mature and well behaved, why do you hear about all kinds of behavior problems at some privates AND, if they are more mature, why do privates not often start Algebra until 8th or 9th grade? So, these kids are much older than their public school cohorts, and their math and other classes are on a slower track. I'm not even sure how you compare kids at that point as then they don't seem much smarter or capable, just older.

Have you ever stepped foot inside a private school? Your understanding of math and behavior are not accurate.

Yes, I have. We did private until second and looked at multiple schools in 4th and 5th grades and I wasn’t that impressed. Did summer school at one and the teaching was subpar as they hired a phd student with no teaching skills after promising their own teachers.

Come MS when we did not want to return due to Covid, could not find a school that would keep my child’s math track which was Algebra in 6th. One said we could pay extra for a teacher to tutor but come hs they did not offer anything past calculus.

Publics tend to accelerate kids in math but learn material at a more shallow level, while privates tend to go slower and deeper in math.

That being said, it is possible to catch up in private as some will still let you accelerate on different paths or take courses over summer like geometry.

The reality is more school to school variation that you would expect. Our private offers multiple courses past the equivalent of AP Calc BC.

That’s not true at all. The public schools have moved to the Singapore Math style approach. They do not accelerate math. They build heavily on concepts, etc. But a public school in a good school district is going to have more advanced students than a private school and will cater to those students, which means faster acceleration for the advanced kids. I actually switched to public because the math was far superior to my high ranking private.

We are mainly in private because the accelerated math in public did not teach the material in depth enough and did not adequately teach critical thinking. This was a public that use a Singapore math style approach, which was actually way off. Kids that transfer from public into our school have a lot of trouble with math they supposedly learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

NP: The child can improve his wording, but the speculation will still be there.

I have a kid who is a young spring birthday and who has always had redshirted kids in his classes. This never came up as any sort of speculation. My kid was and still is friends with a few redshirted kids (now in high school). It’s really not an issue and never has been for DC or for nearly all other kids.

Candidly, this sort of speculation is only there among the feral children who aren’t parented well, to be honest.

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Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

What an own goal here. You do realize this is because your DC has bad manners and has you for a parent, right, and that this is not common among the normal families who teach character to their children? If I had heard something like that from my kids (none of whom were redshirted and one of whom was one of the younger kids), I would have been horrified and immediately corrected them. I certainly would never have talked so proudly about their appalling behavior on DCUM. But of course I never heard anything like that from them.

Anyhow, yes, I do believe your child did this. But most other children by age 8 have much better manners and observational powers. You and your child are outliers.

Bad manners? What are you talking about? He’s not saying anything to the child. He’s asking me about it at home. DC is used to kids bring older. The vast majority of boys in his class have summer and fall birthdays. He’s just shocked that this March birthday kid, who appears to have no learning disabilities is in the same year as he is. It’s confusing to him and he asks me about it.

You sound sensitive because you’ve learned your desire to give your kid an alleged advantage might actually backfire. March is way, way too late to redshirt. It’s called “holding back” at that point.

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

If the kids are more mature and well behaved, why do you hear about all kinds of behavior problems at some privates AND, if they are more mature, why do privates not often start Algebra until 8th or 9th grade? So, these kids are much older than their public school cohorts, and their math and other classes are on a slower track. I'm not even sure how you compare kids at that point as then they don't seem much smarter or capable, just older.

Have you ever stepped foot inside a private school? Your understanding of math and behavior are not accurate.

Yes, I have. We did private until second and looked at multiple schools in 4th and 5th grades and I wasn’t that impressed. Did summer school at one and the teaching was subpar as they hired a phd student with no teaching skills after promising their own teachers.

Come MS when we did not want to return due to Covid, could not find a school that would keep my child’s math track which was Algebra in 6th. One said we could pay extra for a teacher to tutor but come hs they did not offer anything past calculus.

Publics tend to accelerate kids in math but learn material at a more shallow level, while privates tend to go slower and deeper in math.

That being said, it is possible to catch up in private as some will still let you accelerate on different paths or take courses over summer like geometry.

The reality is more school to school variation that you would expect. Our private offers multiple courses past the equivalent of AP Calc BC.

That’s not true at all. The public schools have moved to the Singapore Math style approach. They do not accelerate math. They build heavily on concepts, etc. But a public school in a good school district is going to have more advanced students than a private school and will cater to those students, which means faster acceleration for the advanced kids. I actually switched to public because the math was far superior to my high ranking private.

We are mainly in private because the accelerated math in public did not teach the material in depth enough and did not adequately teach critical thinking. This was a public that use a Singapore math style approach, which was actually way off. Kids that transfer from public into our school have a lot of trouble with math they supposedly learned.

Similar experience here. My child was in the accelerated top math courses in his public middle school and getting straight As. When doing the placement tests for competitive private HS, he barely passed into the middle tier classes, just above their cutoff for their remedial level. The school admitted him, but also made it very clear that he would not qualify for their Honors or AP track math classes. He was far behind the kids who came from other competitive private schools.

This obviously is school dependent but I’m pointing it out because some people insist all good public schools have better math than all privates, which is wildly inaccurate.

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Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

NP: The child can improve his wording, but the speculation will still be there.

It's not the wording, it's the sentiment that's the issue. There's a world.pf difference between a child noting that there's a range of ages in a class and jumping to the conclusion that a slightly older kid is "dumb." That behavior and reasoning is learned from the parent and doesn't reflect well on you.

I’m the PP with the kid who shares a birthday with the boy who is a year older. My child is incredulous about it. My child is not a bully. He has never mentioned anything about children with disabilities in the class. He has mentioned that there is a reading club for kids who have trouble reading, but he has done so with kindness. He said something like, “that’s too bad that Autumn can’t really read. She seems so upset about it.”

There is no learned behavior from me. I don’t know this boy. I don’t know his parents. I didn’t know that he was exactly a year older than my son. When my child said he must be “dumb or something,” I said I have no idea why he is a year older or why his parents decided to keep him another year.

DC continues to bring it up because he is fascinated by it and really cannot understand. He fluctuates from wondering if the other child is bored or dumb. I say I have no idea. I don’t.

All I do know is that I would never have done the same to my kid.

You realize you are just displaying more and more the failures of your parenting? I’m kind of fascinated by your inability to recognize that the failure here is on you.

As people have pointed out before, the only kids who make an issue of this are the badly parented ones, and wow are you providing us with an object lesson. My kids (not redshirted) would never have acted like this, because I taught them manners.

You are making life really, really hard for your poor kid. Teach him some basic social skills before it’s too late and correct his appalling behavior.