Redshirting a March birthday boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

[Anonymous]

Why not? Right??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, private school parent here who redshirted a summer birthday. One of his friends is a redshirted spring birthday. No one cares. One thing about starting in PK or K is that the kids all know each other. Social groups are well established before that stuff is on their radar. It’s a non-issue.

And I can’t help but laugh at everyone who says that they’re trying to bill you for extra money. They are not. We were recommended for an extra year when we were on a ton of financial aid. They definitely lost money on us. Believe me, as another poster said, they filled their classes just fine. They don’t have to try and squeeze an extra year’s tuition out of anyone.

Your child must be young. The kids definitely talk about it by 3rd/4th grade and I’m sure your child will be asked why he was “held back” and it will be implied he’s stupid. This always happens. How naive to think that because kids went to the same preschool and their moms volunteered together on the PTA that they will not be aware of Larlo being 1.5 or 1 year older than the vast majority of the class. Ask me how I know.

Nope! My kid is now 15. Perhaps the difference is that it’s normal in our school to redshirt summer birthdays (probably 90%) so the difference between them and the rarer spring redshirts isn’t that huge. But the kids really do not care. The spring redshirt kid isn’t “1.5 years older than the vast majority of the class”. He’s the oldest in his class by 3 months. That’s not enough of a difference for anyone to get excited about. It is just not a big deal. I’m not sure what else I can say.

Agree. Mine is 13. Nobody asks or cares because its so common.

It is not that common and yes kids talk.

You're insane. Why are you constantly trying to convince everyone the earth is flat?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t think a school could do that? Are they just saying he can’t be in K because there’s not enough space? He’s legally old enough for kinder.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. Look and see if other schools are willing to accept applications now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

If the kids are more mature and well behaved, why do you hear about all kinds of behavior problems at some privates AND, if they are more mature, why do privates not often start Algebra until 8th or 9th grade? So, these kids are much older than their public school cohorts, and their math and other classes are on a slower track. I'm not even sure how you compare kids at that point as then they don't seem much smarter or capable, just older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

If the kids are more mature and well behaved, why do you hear about all kinds of behavior problems at some privates AND, if they are more mature, why do privates not often start Algebra until 8th or 9th grade? So, these kids are much older than their public school cohorts, and their math and other classes are on a slower track. I'm not even sure how you compare kids at that point as then they don't seem much smarter or capable, just older.

And, they aren't more mature. They are older. So, technically they are less mature as you are having them older, but lowering your expectations of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

Exactly. And, when the held-back kids realize others went on time they all do talk about it and some of the held back ones don't get why they were held back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We applied for PK and were told to wait another and keep in preschool for the PK year.

Also, our school is pretty popular and has very long waitlists so I am 110% sure money has nothing to do with it.

Finally, I am sure my son would have been rejected had he not been a sibling. He just does not stand out in any of the ways his older sister (first to attend the school) did.

I spoke to other parents and it seems the school is being really tough on boys lately… not sure. I have also heard that they are trying to increase diversity and we are white.

Again, while my son is probably not a genius, I don’t see what the admission people saw in him that his current teachers did not see in 6 months. I will try to push back and see if there is room for compromise (let him start in K and then we hold back next year if he does not meet requirements).

So, you hold him back a year so they can take other kids they'd prefer to take and he doesn't get accepted the next year. Then what? It seems better to put your child at a school that wants him for him.

Schools are a business. They don’t get to know a child and want them for who they are. They want a child for donations, future donations, good behavior, and other attributes.

If this school provides a good education and is willing to work with the family, don’t hold a grudge because the class they are creating will be more mature and better behaved than at an average public school. Moving a child a class down is an easy solution.

If the kids are more mature and well behaved, why do you hear about all kinds of behavior problems at some privates AND, if they are more mature, why do privates not often start Algebra until 8th or 9th grade? So, these kids are much older than their public school cohorts, and their math and other classes are on a slower track. I'm not even sure how you compare kids at that point as then they don't seem much smarter or capable, just older.

Have you ever stepped foot inside a private school? Your understanding of math and behavior are not accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

And hopefully you are telling your kid not to say things like that about his classmate…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

Sounds like a learned behavior from the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

Does your child also say mean things about students in his class with disabilities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

He may be embarrassed in K about being older, and then at a huge advantage in middle in high school. From the perspective of a high school son this seems like a no brainer to me, the red shirted boys have a leg up.

He will absolutely not be embarrassed about being older. My 2nd grade son just turned 8 a few months ago and has a friend turning 9 in March. They are all jealous he gets to be 9 first. That's how it goes every year.

Well, my 2nd grader keeps talking about his classmate who has the same birthday as he does in a few weeks but will be turning 9 instead of 8. My DC is stunned about it and keeps asking if the other boy is “dumb or something.”

No one is remotely impressed.

The issue here is your parenting, not the age another student started kindergarten. Your kid is displaying unacceptable behavior and you need to correct it. Sorry that parenting means telling your child to stop being a dick.

NP: The child can improve his wording, but the speculation will still be there.