What personal battle are you currently fighting?

[Anonymous]

I visited Florida for the first time last week and felt deeply unhappy and lonely there. I'm an immigrant from Europe and always felt fine in DC and other states I've visited, but FL was inexplicably depressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Admitted I was an alcoholic started going to AA and I've been sober for two weeks. Terrified of relapsing.

. Well done, PP. it is hard and scary, but you are being brave and strong and it is a true gift to yourself and your love ones. One day at a time. You can do this! Even if you falter, you know you can start again. Keep going; you deserve sobriety.

Thanks you. One day at a time.

Keep moving forward. It is worth it if you work it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am middle school teacher at my DD's school (private - not in DC). Want to quit because I am so burned out. I have a couple sections where behavior is so bad, I want to cry each class. No help from admins. Cannot quit because I would have to pay back a steep tuition discount and burn bridges for my daughter.

When my son was in middle school at a private school, he came home one day and said his teacher cried in class after the kids wouldn't behave. He felt so bad for her and mad at the bad kids. Hope you know that the other kids are in your corner, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25 year marriage is millimeters from falling over the rail.
Expenses are skyrocketing and income has never been lower.
Assets are not selling.
There’s a pressure in my chest that will occasionally radiate into my left arm.
I have a molar that needs to come out and I can’t afford to do so.

I feel you. Chemo plus fear of dentist have destroyed my teeth and I’m looking at $24,000 in dental work. I have tooth pain but I can’t get myself back to the dentist. I have fear and always pain that the dentists always seem to trivialize. I hate them.

Is there a dental school near you?

PLEASE get it taken care of. I am serious. I am always busy and on the go and I hate the dentist anyways and I ignore the pain. Guess what? I finally went in when the pain began screaming and they said I have an infection in my jaw bone from a phantom canal stemming from old dental work that failed. I went in to get the extraction and the infection was staggering and I was a hope and prayer away from getting a partial jaw replacement as they had to remove so much bone. Now, I need 2 bone grafts and an implant. I should have learned my lesson as this happened 7 years ago and it landed me in the hospital with lock jaw and sepsis. I nearly lsot my life at that time and I was hospitalized for a week. PLEASE get it taken care of.

Thank you for sharing. I needed this push. TY!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I visited Florida for the first time last week and felt deeply unhappy and lonely there. I'm an immigrant from Europe and always felt fine in DC and other states I've visited, but FL was inexplicably depressive.

I’m sorry it wasn’t a good trip. I hope your next vacation is excellent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I visited Florida for the first time last week and felt deeply unhappy and lonely there. I'm an immigrant from Europe and always felt fine in DC and other states I've visited, but FL was inexplicably depressive.

The worst years of my life were the 3 I spent in Honolulu while in the Navy. VISITING beautiful places with great weather is fine. LIVING in such places can be very depressing…I felt like a complete loser for not being happy & having fun all the time. There was nobody to blame but myself for not having a glamorous life. Perhaps it was because I spent most of my prior life in Michigan, where it is often cold & gray, & when you aren’t having a rollicking good time you can always blame your gloomy surroundings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uncomfortable with the amount of alcohol I drink (3/4 - 1 1/4 bottle 4-6 nights per week) but can't seem to stop. It affects other things in my life (energy and makes it harder to lose the weight I need to).

I used to drink a lot of alcohol. I finally realized a lot of it was just being dehydrated & wanting to drink SOMETHING. Now I drink a lot of apple juice & Diet Coke. The former hydrates me & the latter gives me a satisfying sense of drinking SOMETHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really a battle and I shouldn't complain, but...
I've worked very hard to get to a place of total peace and contentment.
And now I'm bored. I work from home and walk my dog. That's it.
I think I'd like to start dating again but I don't even know where to begin. I really don't want to use the apps. Thinking about joining a boxing gym or a hiking group for activity and maybe meeting new people.
I hate to complain. My life was so tumultuous when I was younger and I'm in a very good place now. Maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

I was bored & started an online graduate degree program in a field that interests me from a college with very mediocre academics. It gives me things to accomplish without feeling overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

Left abusive boss situation. I was there six months. Took another job with pay cut. Devastated by career downfall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a new boss who is making my life miserable. Pretty sure she is on the spectrum. Terrible judgment, micro managing, and very odd/querky. Questions every single thing I do, calls me all the time day and night for awkward and pointless conversations, and over the course of a few months has utterly destroyed my motivation.

Not a big deal compared to some people’s issues, but still, you spend a lot of your time at work, so a bad situation there can be pretty depressing.

I’m so sorry! I just posted about abusive boss before I read through these. She destroyed me in six months and I up and left. She was so mean and yelled and belittled. Called all hours as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am deeply, mutually in love and feel I have found my person. He feels the same. But he has a young child, and I’d never imagined that I would be with someone with a kid. Taking on the role of stepparent and having his ex be part of his/our life forever seems like too much for me to take on. Keeping his life with me and his life as a parent separate as we have been is starting to weigh heavily and it’s getting close to the time where I need to jump in or jump ship. Every day I agonize over whether I should walk away from the love of my life and break both our hearts (but set him free), or accept the life I must have to be with him. Some days I think it would be crazy to walk away and lose so much happiness, and some days I think it would be crazy to stay and risk so much unhappiness. It feels like the true pivotal moment of my life and I don’t know what to do.

How old is the child and have you met/spent any time with them? Do you want kids of your own or had you envisioned a life without kids?

Maybe you can reframe this as the opportunity to love a new person who is an extension of someone you already love. Yes kids add a lot of chaos to life and have to be a priority, but they grow and it’s not like they are a little kid that will live with you forever (barring special needs). And if the ex is involved then you guys should have 50% free time to do adult things, travel, etc.

I haven’t met the kid yet, only because I feel very strongly that I didn’t want to become part of their life unless I was in it for the long haul. They’re 4. It’s coming up on 10 months though, so it really is time.

I like kids and have spent a lot of time nannying and babysitting, and having spent far too much time on this website I think I have much more theoretical parenting knowledge than the average childless person. I’d be a decent parent. I never had any strong pull to be a mother but wasn’t against it. I figured it may happen if I met the right person, and it has. From early on I was able to imagine having a baby with him. I have no doubt whether we have kids of our own or not, his child will add a lot of fun and joy and love to my life (in addition to the challenges and frustrations of caring for a little kid).

It’s just..all the complications. Having to be civil/friendly with his ex who is genuinely a mean-spirited person and an irresponsible parent (I’ve seen and experienced it for myself, my boyfriend does not degrade his child’s mother). The fact that I will likely end up loving this child and have no right to make decisions about their life. Jealousy. That we will never be free to live wherever we want. Negotiating holidays for the rest of forever. And probably countless logistical challenges I can’t even conceive of yet. My boyfriend adores me and has truly prioritized my happiness and well-being above all else so far and I have no doubt he will do his best to protect me from any unpleasantness, but there’s only so much he can do and I will have to compromise on my wants and needs. What if I can’t handle it? What if I regret signing myself up for this? But what if I regret letting him be the one who got away because I was too scared?

I can’t see myself finding as good a match for me again. It’s not the end of the world if I don’t, but it makes it hard to walk away. I’m a serial monogamist, dated a ton, and i’ve never once imagined myself marrying any past partners but I figured that was normal for everyone, and you just kind of decide to get married anyway because it’s the right time, they’d make a good parent, it’s a good financial decision etc. A couple months into dating this guy I was like…oh. This is how it’s supposed to be. I’ve never felt so deeply cared for and cherished, or such deep mutual respect and admiration. I’ve never been with someone who made me feel confident that they will always be on my team 100% no matter what. I’ve never felt so at peace. It’s a love that is calm, quiet, and easy. If it felt any less right it would be easier to say for sure the life I’m in for with him isn’t for me and I need to move on.

Goodness, this got too long, but I appreciate being able to get my thoughts out after feeling so alone with this for so long. If anyone actually read this, thank you.

Take the leap. Every relationship has something. You may never find this connection again.

[Anonymous]

I am saying a prayer this morning for everybody on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I visited Florida for the first time last week and felt deeply unhappy and lonely there. I'm an immigrant from Europe and always felt fine in DC and other states I've visited, but FL was inexplicably depressive.

I wonder why. FL actually has a pretty large immigrant population, including of European heritages. So it can't be that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a failure. No friends, no career success, just a masters from an online university.

Have you ever tried teaching part-time at a community college? They usually don’t care where your master’s is from. Most have a list of qualified applicants & just take from that list when the current part-timers can’t cover all classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Left abusive boss situation. I was there six months. Took another job with pay cut. Devastated by career downfall.

You can work your way back to a better situation, yes? It doesn’t have to be a downfall.