Mean girls mean moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I ever learn from DCUM posts like this is that certain people should not mix. Thank goodness for my friends. Our wanting to be together has nothing to do with social hierarchy. It has everything to do with wanting to spend time with people who understand us. It excludes everyone who wants to burn us at the stake for this wish.

Does it also include people who are incredibly dramatic and have a victim complex? “Burn us at the stake,” come onnnn

It includes who we want and excludes who we want. The power of friendship

Well that’s confusing since the whole thread is about how apparently excluding anyone, ever makes you a “mean girl”

No one said that.
Do you really not know what it means to be mean to someone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I ever learn from DCUM posts like this is that certain people should not mix. Thank goodness for my friends. Our wanting to be together has nothing to do with social hierarchy. It has everything to do with wanting to spend time with people who understand us. It excludes everyone who wants to burn us at the stake for this wish.

Does it also include people who are incredibly dramatic and have a victim complex? “Burn us at the stake,” come onnnn

It includes who we want and excludes who we want. The power of friendship

Well that’s confusing since the whole thread is about how apparently excluding anyone, ever makes you a “mean girl”

No one said that.
Do you really not know what it means to be mean to someone else?

Yes, I do, which is why I keep making the point that there is nothing inherently MEAN about excluding people and including your own friends. As you have helpfully reinforced by saying you too do the same! I would bet you don’t consider yourself a mean mom of a mean girl for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I ever learn from DCUM posts like this is that certain people should not mix. Thank goodness for my friends. Our wanting to be together has nothing to do with social hierarchy. It has everything to do with wanting to spend time with people who understand us. It excludes everyone who wants to burn us at the stake for this wish.

Does it also include people who are incredibly dramatic and have a victim complex? “Burn us at the stake,” come onnnn

It includes who we want and excludes who we want. The power of friendship

Well that’s confusing since the whole thread is about how apparently excluding anyone, ever makes you a “mean girl”

No one said that.
Do you really not know what it means to be mean to someone else?

Yes, I do, which is why I keep making the point that there is nothing inherently MEAN about excluding people and including your own friends. As you have helpfully reinforced by saying you too do the same! I would bet you don’t consider yourself a mean mom of a mean girl for it.

I do not do the same. It’s not mean to hang out with your friends.

What’s mean is to insist that people you don’t hang out with are defective in some way and shouldn’t have any friends at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Then those kids should stop engaging. Your kid isn’t trying to negotiate peace in the Middle East. Your kid is in the mix as well.

Those kids are not engaging. They are minding their own business when some mean girl and her friends sit down at lunch and start talking smack about her right in front of her as if she isn’t there. Not my child, BTW, so I can be objective in this situation. There are mean kids who seek out others just to be mean. You really don’t get this, do you?

That’s not how the mean behavior has gone down in my kids ES. Maybe it’s different where you are. You don’t have to bash people for having a different lived experience.

How does it go down? What sort of mean behavior (your words)? The acceptable kind?

Girls literally hanging onto other kids coats and begging to be included. My husband saw it on a field trip. Girls making up stories and running to the teachers in order to get the “cooler” kids in trouble.

Isn’t that just age appropriate behavior? Can’t you just tell your child to ignore it?

To clarify, it’s okay for less popular kids to talk trash about popular kids and try to get them in trouble, but not vice versa? Not to mention the physical assault. A child literally tore my daughters sleeve. That’s the hill you want to die on?

I don’t know. My husband cares about his children and wouldn’t stand by and watch his daughter being assaulted, so I can’t really relate.

I bet you’d be the first one calling the cops if my husband had to pry your kid off of mine.

Again, my husband is pretty comfortable disciplining little girls without resorting to physical violence.

I really can’t relate to what it’s like to live with a guy who might have the cops called on him during a field trip.

That sounds rough. I’m glad he didn’t get involved.

Great job on deliberately misinterpreting my post. Bet your husband loves that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I ever learn from DCUM posts like this is that certain people should not mix. Thank goodness for my friends. Our wanting to be together has nothing to do with social hierarchy. It has everything to do with wanting to spend time with people who understand us. It excludes everyone who wants to burn us at the stake for this wish.

Does it also include people who are incredibly dramatic and have a victim complex? “Burn us at the stake,” come onnnn

It includes who we want and excludes who we want. The power of friendship

Well that’s confusing since the whole thread is about how apparently excluding anyone, ever makes you a “mean girl”

No one said that.
Do you really not know what it means to be mean to someone else?

Yes, I do, which is why I keep making the point that there is nothing inherently MEAN about excluding people and including your own friends. As you have helpfully reinforced by saying you too do the same! I would bet you don’t consider yourself a mean mom of a mean girl for it.

I do not do the same. It’s not mean to hang out with your friends.

What’s mean is to insist that people you don’t hang out with are defective in some way and shouldn’t have any friends at all.

Right, so we are at the point in the thread when people just decide that anything not said in the OP was, because “saying people are defective and shouldn’t have friends at all” was never mentioned in this thread, let alone as an acceptable behavior. You’re just on your own narrative path now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Then those kids should stop engaging. Your kid isn’t trying to negotiate peace in the Middle East. Your kid is in the mix as well.

Those kids are not engaging. They are minding their own business when some mean girl and her friends sit down at lunch and start talking smack about her right in front of her as if she isn’t there. Not my child, BTW, so I can be objective in this situation. There are mean kids who seek out others just to be mean. You really don’t get this, do you?

That’s not how the mean behavior has gone down in my kids ES. Maybe it’s different where you are. You don’t have to bash people for having a different lived experience.

How does it go down? What sort of mean behavior (your words)? The acceptable kind?

Girls literally hanging onto other kids coats and begging to be included. My husband saw it on a field trip. Girls making up stories and running to the teachers in order to get the “cooler” kids in trouble.

Isn’t that just age appropriate behavior? Can’t you just tell your child to ignore it?

To clarify, it’s okay for less popular kids to talk trash about popular kids and try to get them in trouble, but not vice versa? Not to mention the physical assault. A child literally tore my daughters sleeve. That’s the hill you want to die on?

I don’t know. My husband cares about his children and wouldn’t stand by and watch his daughter being assaulted, so I can’t really relate.

I bet you’d be the first one calling the cops if my husband had to pry your kid off of mine.

Again, my husband is pretty comfortable disciplining little girls without resorting to physical violence.

I really can’t relate to what it’s like to live with a guy who might have the cops called on him during a field trip.

That sounds rough. I’m glad he didn’t get involved.

Great job on deliberately misinterpreting my post. Bet your husband loves that.

I was actually thinking about your post. I was being kind of sarcastic and glossed over what you said, but it kind of stuck with me.

My husband has his own anger issues he deals with, like a lot of men, but he keeps it together around the children. He’s never hit anyone or had the cops called on him, and it would never in a million years occur to me that he might end up going to jail while chaperoning a school field trip.

I don’t really know what to say, but I was just thinking about how if you knew everything that was going on, then you would understand why people make the decisions they do.

I don’t know why you posted what you did, but it reminded me that there are always bigger adult dynamics behind children’s behavior. It’s easy to forget that on a message board.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, mean girls befriend before they start treating you poorly.

Like the worst bullying I've experienced wasn't done girl who just didn't want to be friends with me. That doesn't even register. Everyone experiences that and it's not that big a deal.

The mean girl experiences I've had have happened when I WAS part of a group, and then within the context of that friendship, one or more members of the group started making fun of me (but always under the cover of "it's a joke! We're kidding of course"), talking about me behind my back (often using things i had confided in them specifically because they were my friends as fodder), of excluding me from group activities (and going out of their way to let me know the rest of the group is doing something i had previously been invited to, but not this time).

This is why mean girl behavior is so insidious. It's not bullying from some random kid in a playground. It's bullying from the people who are, ostensibly, your friends. And who you might have trusted with sensitive info, or who might know things about you.

Also, it's not just the "popular girls" who engage in this. It can happen in just about any friend group where it's tolerated.

So I don't even understand what is being argued about on this thread but it doesn't seem to have much to do with how mean girl behavior actually works.

Oh, and yes-- often kids who do this have parents who do it. Especially the gossip, because when kids hear their parents gossiping about their friends, it normalizes that behavior.

[Anonymous]

It’s okay not to like one girl or boy or click with them, it’s not okay to ask or tell other kids not to like or play with that child. Yes some people gel and some people don’t but it’s still mean to try exclude or try to get others to exclude/ not be friends with one specific child.

I agree with the poster that indicated maybe some parents need to learn this as well.

For what it’s worth this happened to my 2nd grade son last year and my husband and I disagreed on how to initially handle it. He wanted to get the kids together for some one on one time to find some common ground, I did not want this. We both agreed that my son should ignore this nastiness and go be with other friends. The kids now have a tentative truce- by that I mean they talk and get along but the other child is often instigating things that if my child participates in will get both in trouble. Dumb boy stuff like hey want to wrestle my son sure - wrestle- both get in trouble…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, mean girls befriend before they start treating you poorly.

Like the worst bullying I've experienced wasn't done girl who just didn't want to be friends with me. That doesn't even register. Everyone experiences that and it's not that big a deal.

The mean girl experiences I've had have happened when I WAS part of a group, and then within the context of that friendship, one or more members of the group started making fun of me (but always under the cover of "it's a joke! We're kidding of course"), talking about me behind my back (often using things i had confided in them specifically because they were my friends as fodder), of excluding me from group activities (and going out of their way to let me know the rest of the group is doing something i had previously been invited to, but not this time).

This is why mean girl behavior is so insidious. It's not bullying from some random kid in a playground. It's bullying from the people who are, ostensibly, your friends. And who you might have trusted with sensitive info, or who might know things about you.

Also, it's not just the "popular girls" who engage in this. It can happen in just about any friend group where it's tolerated.

So I don't even understand what is being argued about on this thread but it doesn't seem to have much to do with how mean girl behavior actually works.

Oh, and yes-- often kids who do this have parents who do it. Especially the gossip, because when kids hear their parents gossiping about their friends, it normalizes that behavior.

This is the problem with these discussions. Everyone has a different idea of what’s “mean.” Toxicity, emotional abuse, narcissism exists in little girls, usually intergenerationally, but other people are talking about exclusion. One is not always a problem. The other won’t be fixed by a school or by conversation with an adult. You just have to teach your kid to find their healthy friendships, and there will be some trial and error involved. The errors will hurt, but it’s part of the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, mean girls befriend before they start treating you poorly.

Like the worst bullying I've experienced wasn't done girl who just didn't want to be friends with me. That doesn't even register. Everyone experiences that and it's not that big a deal.

The mean girl experiences I've had have happened when I WAS part of a group, and then within the context of that friendship, one or more members of the group started making fun of me (but always under the cover of "it's a joke! We're kidding of course"), talking about me behind my back (often using things i had confided in them specifically because they were my friends as fodder), of excluding me from group activities (and going out of their way to let me know the rest of the group is doing something i had previously been invited to, but not this time).

This is why mean girl behavior is so insidious. It's not bullying from some random kid in a playground. It's bullying from the people who are, ostensibly, your friends. And who you might have trusted with sensitive info, or who might know things about you.

Also, it's not just the "popular girls" who engage in this. It can happen in just about any friend group where it's tolerated.

So I don't even understand what is being argued about on this thread but it doesn't seem to have much to do with how mean girl behavior actually works.

Oh, and yes-- often kids who do this have parents who do it. Especially the gossip, because when kids hear their parents gossiping about their friends, it normalizes that behavior.

This is the problem with these discussions. Everyone has a different idea of what’s “mean.” Toxicity, emotional abuse, narcissism exists in little girls, usually intergenerationally, but other people are talking about exclusion. One is not always a problem. The other won’t be fixed by a school or by conversation with an adult. You just have to teach your kid to find their healthy friendships, and there will be some trial and error involved. The errors will hurt, but it’s part of the process.

I'm the PP and I disagree. If it's low level and the kids can move on quickly okay. But what I just described should not be "part of the process." I once had a friend group turn on me, spread a vicious rumor that made me an outcast with everyone, not just my supposed friends, and literally pretend I didn't exist at school. It was excruciating and I started self-harming just to remind myself that I existed because the pain of cutting felt good compared to the pain of being made invisible every day. I think I may still have PTSD from this experience.

And yes, the school and adults could have intervened. I ultimately wound up switching schools and starting over, but that was a long and academically disruptive process. It should never have been allowed to escalate as it did.

Which is why the attitude that "mild" mean girl behavior should be ignored and accepted as normal bothers me. My experience was mild until it wasn't. The acceptance of gossip, teasing, and exclusion by the adults around us made it possible for my "friends" to keep escalating until my school life was a daily misery.

So yeah, if kids are intentionally excluding on the playground, it's a problem and you as an adult should explain why that behavior isn't okay. Kids are welcome to have whatever friends they want after school, but at school you have to be inclusive. Teasing and gossip are anti-social behaviors that should be discouraged.

Kids kill themselves over these behaviors. You'd think that would be enough to get you to care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Girl, you are literally telling other posters to ignore me because you don’t like my messaging. You may need to go back to elementary school and get your head on straight. Practice what you preach! don’t hate the player, hate the game!

She is telling people to ignore a bully.
If you want to engage in this behavior and teach your kids to write mean notes or make fun of kids for having special needs, then go for it.

No one has to listen to you tell us why it’s okay.

You’re projecting. No one is saying that behavior is okay.

We are talking about:

- Excluding other girls
- Making fun of other girls or boys (verbally or in notes/pictures that are passed around the classroom)
- Telling kids not to play with or be friends with certain girls or boys.

Many people are saying that it’s okay, developmentally appropriate, and that it isn’t really “mean.”

And their moms are doing this to you also, as per the OP? Means girls and their mean mom?

What do you think, pp? What’s your experience with girls who engage in this behavior?
Are their moms volunteering at soup kitchens and trying to reach out to recent immigrants to teach them about PowerSchool?

Yes. I literally never had another mom from school be “mean” to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Girl, you are literally telling other posters to ignore me because you don’t like my messaging. You may need to go back to elementary school and get your head on straight. Practice what you preach! don’t hate the player, hate the game!

She is telling people to ignore a bully.
If you want to engage in this behavior and teach your kids to write mean notes or make fun of kids for having special needs, then go for it.

No one has to listen to you tell us why it’s okay.

You’re projecting. No one is saying that behavior is okay.

We are talking about:

- Excluding other girls
- Making fun of other girls or boys (verbally or in notes/pictures that are passed around the classroom)
- Telling kids not to play with or be friends with certain girls or boys.

Many people are saying that it’s okay, developmentally appropriate, and that it isn’t really “mean.”

And their moms are doing this to you also, as per the OP? Means girls and their mean mom?

What do you think, pp? What’s your experience with girls who engage in this behavior?
Are their moms volunteering at soup kitchens and trying to reach out to recent immigrants to teach them about PowerSchool?

Yes. I literally never had another mom from school be “mean” to me.

Me either. Sorry guys, it’s pure projection. They’re just moms living their life , they’re not being mean to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, mean girls befriend before they start treating you poorly.

Like the worst bullying I've experienced wasn't done girl who just didn't want to be friends with me. That doesn't even register. Everyone experiences that and it's not that big a deal.

The mean girl experiences I've had have happened when I WAS part of a group, and then within the context of that friendship, one or more members of the group started making fun of me (but always under the cover of "it's a joke! We're kidding of course"), talking about me behind my back (often using things i had confided in them specifically because they were my friends as fodder), of excluding me from group activities (and going out of their way to let me know the rest of the group is doing something i had previously been invited to, but not this time).

This is why mean girl behavior is so insidious. It's not bullying from some random kid in a playground. It's bullying from the people who are, ostensibly, your friends. And who you might have trusted with sensitive info, or who might know things about you.

Also, it's not just the "popular girls" who engage in this. It can happen in just about any friend group where it's tolerated.

So I don't even understand what is being argued about on this thread but it doesn't seem to have much to do with how mean girl behavior actually works.

Oh, and yes-- often kids who do this have parents who do it. Especially the gossip, because when kids hear their parents gossiping about their friends, it normalizes that behavior.

This is the problem with these discussions. Everyone has a different idea of what’s “mean.” Toxicity, emotional abuse, narcissism exists in little girls, usually intergenerationally, but other people are talking about exclusion. One is not always a problem. The other won’t be fixed by a school or by conversation with an adult. You just have to teach your kid to find their healthy friendships, and there will be some trial and error involved. The errors will hurt, but it’s part of the process.

I'm the PP and I disagree. If it's low level and the kids can move on quickly okay. But what I just described should not be "part of the process." I once had a friend group turn on me, spread a vicious rumor that made me an outcast with everyone, not just my supposed friends, and literally pretend I didn't exist at school. It was excruciating and I started self-harming just to remind myself that I existed because the pain of cutting felt good compared to the pain of being made invisible every day. I think I may still have PTSD from this experience.

And yes, the school and adults could have intervened. I ultimately wound up switching schools and starting over, but that was a long and academically disruptive process. It should never have been allowed to escalate as it did.

Which is why the attitude that "mild" mean girl behavior should be ignored and accepted as normal bothers me. My experience was mild until it wasn't. The acceptance of gossip, teasing, and exclusion by the adults around us made it possible for my "friends" to keep escalating until my school life was a daily misery.

So yeah, if kids are intentionally excluding on the playground, it's a problem and you as an adult should explain why that behavior isn't okay. Kids are welcome to have whatever friends they want after school, but at school you have to be inclusive. Teasing and gossip are anti-social behaviors that should be discouraged.

Kids kill themselves over these behaviors. You'd think that would be enough to get you to care.

Your situation and to the degree you describing is an outlier and not what OP started a thread about. Otherwise she would have included it in her OP; not made a post about how moms are like their daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, mean girls befriend before they start treating you poorly.

Like the worst bullying I've experienced wasn't done girl who just didn't want to be friends with me. That doesn't even register. Everyone experiences that and it's not that big a deal.

The mean girl experiences I've had have happened when I WAS part of a group, and then within the context of that friendship, one or more members of the group started making fun of me (but always under the cover of "it's a joke! We're kidding of course"), talking about me behind my back (often using things i had confided in them specifically because they were my friends as fodder), of excluding me from group activities (and going out of their way to let me know the rest of the group is doing something i had previously been invited to, but not this time).

This is why mean girl behavior is so insidious. It's not bullying from some random kid in a playground. It's bullying from the people who are, ostensibly, your friends. And who you might have trusted with sensitive info, or who might know things about you.

Also, it's not just the "popular girls" who engage in this. It can happen in just about any friend group where it's tolerated.

So I don't even understand what is being argued about on this thread but it doesn't seem to have much to do with how mean girl behavior actually works.

Oh, and yes-- often kids who do this have parents who do it. Especially the gossip, because when kids hear their parents gossiping about their friends, it normalizes that behavior.

This is the problem with these discussions. Everyone has a different idea of what’s “mean.” Toxicity, emotional abuse, narcissism exists in little girls, usually intergenerationally, but other people are talking about exclusion. One is not always a problem. The other won’t be fixed by a school or by conversation with an adult. You just have to teach your kid to find their healthy friendships, and there will be some trial and error involved. The errors will hurt, but it’s part of the process.

I'm the PP and I disagree. If it's low level and the kids can move on quickly okay. But what I just described should not be "part of the process." I once had a friend group turn on me, spread a vicious rumor that made me an outcast with everyone, not just my supposed friends, and literally pretend I didn't exist at school. It was excruciating and I started self-harming just to remind myself that I existed because the pain of cutting felt good compared to the pain of being made invisible every day. I think I may still have PTSD from this experience.

And yes, the school and adults could have intervened. I ultimately wound up switching schools and starting over, but that was a long and academically disruptive process. It should never have been allowed to escalate as it did.

Which is why the attitude that "mild" mean girl behavior should be ignored and accepted as normal bothers me. My experience was mild until it wasn't. The acceptance of gossip, teasing, and exclusion by the adults around us made it possible for my "friends" to keep escalating until my school life was a daily misery.

So yeah, if kids are intentionally excluding on the playground, it's a problem and you as an adult should explain why that behavior isn't okay. Kids are welcome to have whatever friends they want after school, but at school you have to be inclusive. Teasing and gossip are anti-social behaviors that should be discouraged.

Kids kill themselves over these behaviors. You'd think that would be enough to get you to care.

Your situation and to the degree you describing is an outlier and not what OP started a thread about. Otherwise she would have included it in her OP; not made a post about how moms are like their daughters.

DP I disagree. Most of this thread seems to be disagreeing with OP and people talking about how their daughters excluding others aren't really mean, they just have better social skills and don't want to be friends with everyone. But the reality is their methods of exclusion aren't exactly nice nor should they be tolerated while at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Girl, you are literally telling other posters to ignore me because you don’t like my messaging. You may need to go back to elementary school and get your head on straight. Practice what you preach! don’t hate the player, hate the game!

She is telling people to ignore a bully.
If you want to engage in this behavior and teach your kids to write mean notes or make fun of kids for having special needs, then go for it.

No one has to listen to you tell us why it’s okay.

You’re projecting. No one is saying that behavior is okay.

We are talking about:

- Excluding other girls
- Making fun of other girls or boys (verbally or in notes/pictures that are passed around the classroom)
- Telling kids not to play with or be friends with certain girls or boys.

Many people are saying that it’s okay, developmentally appropriate, and that it isn’t really “mean.”

And their moms are doing this to you also, as per the OP? Means girls and their mean mom?

What do you think, pp? What’s your experience with girls who engage in this behavior?
Are their moms volunteering at soup kitchens and trying to reach out to recent immigrants to teach them about PowerSchool?

Yes. I literally never had another mom from school be “mean” to me.

I haven’t either. I’m an attractive UMC white lady. Not a lot of people are mean to me. But I can recognize when they are mean to other people.