Do you let your children call adults by their first names?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Whateeeeever Mrs. X!

See how that works?

That's still not what I prefer. If your kid is going to have an existential crisis about calling someone their preferred name then it just shows that you and your family aren't really for us. No loss.

Other people, whether 6 or 66, don’t have to like you or respect you, no matter what your preference is.

I just demonstrated that someone can use a honorific and be rude. You are trying to extract a level of deference but have zero authority to enforce it.

I don't give a rat's ass about your feelings about it. If I ask your kid to me Mrs LastName then that's what is expected. We will call you First Name if you like. Why is this so hard for you? It's like you can't do it unless I capitulate that while you will comply I must know that no respect is behind it. But, that's really your problem. At the end of the day I'm Mrs Last Name to your child whether you like it or not.

Hmm. What if the child then asked you to call her "Ms. LastName?"

I would think it’s cute. Why are so bothered about calling people what they want to be called? Happy to call you your preferred name. Can you say the same? Why not?

I seriously doubt you’d be sanguine about an 8 year old telling you to call her Ms. Smith.

[Anonymous]

My kids call our friends Miss or Mr First name. They call our neighbors or other adults Ms/Mr Last name.
My high schooler just started calling some of our friends by their first names but it is really dependent on the person and our relationship with them.
They call my sister Aunt X but call her husband First Name. No rhyme or reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

Yes, you can and you are doing a poor job parenting if you don't understand why kids should call adults by last name until told otherwise.

It’s just not the norm in DC. Maybe it is in whatever rural area you are posting from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Whateeeeever Mrs. X!

See how that works?

That's still not what I prefer. If your kid is going to have an existential crisis about calling someone their preferred name then it just shows that you and your family aren't really for us. No loss.

Other people, whether 6 or 66, don’t have to like you or respect you, no matter what your preference is.

I just demonstrated that someone can use a honorific and be rude. You are trying to extract a level of deference but have zero authority to enforce it.

I don't give a rat's ass about your feelings about it. If I ask your kid to me Mrs LastName then that's what is expected. We will call you First Name if you like. Why is this so hard for you? It's like you can't do it unless I capitulate that while you will comply I must know that no respect is behind it. But, that's really your problem. At the end of the day I'm Mrs Last Name to your child whether you like it or not.

Hmm. What if the child then asked you to call her "Ms. LastName?"

I would think it’s cute. Why are so bothered about calling people what they want to be called? Happy to call you your preferred name. Can you say the same? Why not?

I seriously doubt you’d be sanguine about an 8 year old telling you to call her Ms. Smith.

You would have to think that because you just need to be right on this issue. And really, it's easy to get around it. "Hey, do you guys want some lunch now?" or "Your mom is here!" Which you can also do if it pains you so very much to have your kids call someone Mrs. Smith. I seriously doubt your kid cares nearly as much as you do on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

I have never ever had a kid call me by my first name. And I don't live in the south. This just isn't an issue for me, at all. Your kid calling me by first name would be a serious outlier and wouldn't stay a friend for very long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

Yes, you can and you are doing a poor job parenting if you don't understand why kids should call adults by last name until told otherwise.

It’s just not the norm in DC. Maybe it is in whatever rural area you are posting from.

Yes it is the norm here. We live here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

I have never ever had a kid call me by my first name. And I don't live in the south. This just isn't an issue for me, at all. Your kid calling me by first name would be a serious outlier and wouldn't stay a friend for very long.

It sounds like it's a very important issue to you, then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

I have never ever had a kid call me by my first name. And I don't live in the south. This just isn't an issue for me, at all. Your kid calling me by first name would be a serious outlier and wouldn't stay a friend for very long.

It sounds like it's a very important issue to you, then.

Says the person freaking out that they will not be controlled. The rule is simple: call people what they want. It’s rude not to. Luckily i don’t know rude disrespectful kids who haven’t learned this rule. What place is this where these kids live?

[Anonymous]

It’s rude for kids to call adults by their first names.

[Anonymous]

It's really rude to teach your kid to go by first names.

I don't see anything wrong with calling kids by Ms Mr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

I have never ever had a kid call me by my first name. And I don't live in the south. This just isn't an issue for me, at all. Your kid calling me by first name would be a serious outlier and wouldn't stay a friend for very long.

It sounds like it's a very important issue to you, then.

Says the person freaking out that they will not be controlled. The rule is simple: call people what they want. It’s rude not to. Luckily i don’t know rude disrespectful kids who haven’t learned this rule. What place is this where these kids live?

Do you understand it may be necessary to tell someone how you'd like to be addressed? Otherwise, how is someone else supposed to know this is how you get your kicks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

I have never ever had a kid call me by my first name. And I don't live in the south. This just isn't an issue for me, at all. Your kid calling me by first name would be a serious outlier and wouldn't stay a friend for very long.

It sounds like it's a very important issue to you, then.

Says the person freaking out that they will not be controlled. The rule is simple: call people what they want. It’s rude not to. Luckily i don’t know rude disrespectful kids who haven’t learned this rule. What place is this where these kids live?

Do you understand it may be necessary to tell someone how you'd like to be addressed? Otherwise, how is someone else supposed to know this is how you get your kicks?

Obviously they're supposed to just know how to addresspp. Manners are completely culturally, regionally, personally objective. :/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

I have never ever had a kid call me by my first name. And I don't live in the south. This just isn't an issue for me, at all. Your kid calling me by first name would be a serious outlier and wouldn't stay a friend for very long.

It sounds like it's a very important issue to you, then.

Says the person freaking out that they will not be controlled. The rule is simple: call people what they want. It’s rude not to. Luckily i don’t know rude disrespectful kids who haven’t learned this rule. What place is this where these kids live?

Do you understand it may be necessary to tell someone how you'd like to be addressed? Otherwise, how is someone else supposed to know this is how you get your kicks?

Wtf are you talking about? Instead if telling a kid to call me Sue he or she will be told to call me Mrs Smith. I tell them either way. Or correct them if they get it wrong. Like if someone calls you the wrong name,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

I have never ever had a kid call me by my first name. And I don't live in the south. This just isn't an issue for me, at all. Your kid calling me by first name would be a serious outlier and wouldn't stay a friend for very long.

It sounds like it's a very important issue to you, then.

Says the person freaking out that they will not be controlled. The rule is simple: call people what they want. It’s rude not to. Luckily i don’t know rude disrespectful kids who haven’t learned this rule. What place is this where these kids live?

Do you understand it may be necessary to tell someone how you'd like to be addressed? Otherwise, how is someone else supposed to know this is how you get your kicks?

Obviously they're supposed to just know how to addresspp. Manners are completely culturally, regionally, personally objective. :/

Never has a kid mistakenly called me by my first name because parents raise their kids right in every place I’ve lived in the midwest, west coast, and southwest. You should be more concerned about being called Mrs whenever you’re outside of your backwater mannerless place than i worry about being called by my first name by mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who want kids to address them Mrs. Mr. etc while allowing adults to address them by their first name, are on a power trip.

Adults pretending to be overly familiar with kids is what puts kids in a weird spot. Kids don’t want to be your peers, and adults are the problem when they remove that boundary.

Honorifics are all about hierarchy and authority, not familiarity. If you are fine with me calling you Lisa, but not my child, you concern is not familiarity but your hierarchical status. A child does not owe you any level of deference, only the courtesy and respect that they should show to any human being regardless of age.

Out of courtesy and respect I'd ask your kid to call me Mrs X since we call people what they like to be called, when told. I will also call you and your child by the names you prefer. But you don't get to decide what to call me. Pretty simple.

Of course they will call you by whatever arbitrary preferences you have, but it will be pretty meaningless because esteem and respect is conveyed through actions and behaviors. Children don’t have to like you, esteem you, respect you (beyond basic courtesy) or obey you . You can’t force any of that by making them call you Mrs. X.

I don't care. But they will call me what I like. See how that works?

Nah. They won’t. You can’t control what other people do. And kids these days use first names for adults. Just like in the workplace we all use first names now. This isn’t the 1950s.

I have never ever had a kid call me by my first name. And I don't live in the south. This just isn't an issue for me, at all. Your kid calling me by first name would be a serious outlier and wouldn't stay a friend for very long.

It sounds like it's a very important issue to you, then.

Says the person freaking out that they will not be controlled. The rule is simple: call people what they want. It’s rude not to. Luckily i don’t know rude disrespectful kids who haven’t learned this rule. What place is this where these kids live?

Do you understand it may be necessary to tell someone how you'd like to be addressed? Otherwise, how is someone else supposed to know this is how you get your kicks?

Obviously they're supposed to just know how to addresspp. Manners are completely culturally, regionally, personally objective. :/

Never has a kid mistakenly called me by my first name because parents raise their kids right in every place I’ve lived in the midwest, west coast, and southwest. You should be more concerned about being called Mrs whenever you’re outside of your backwater mannerless place than i worry about being called by my first name by mistake.

Surely you see the irony in this, right?