Do you let your children call adults by their first names?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Mr/Mrs thing was weird when I was a kid, and it's still weird now that I'm an adult. If someone specifies that they want to go by Mr/Mrs/Miss, then I'll go along with it, but I certainly don't expect my kids to assume that convention outside of school.

+1

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. 99% of our friends and acquaintances prefer to go by their first names with everyone. I have a couple of older Southern friends who go by Miss Anne or similar but otherwise it’s just first names. For people my parents generation I typically introduce the children to them as Mr. or Mrs. Last name but they almost always ask to be called by the first names.

[Anonymous]

I teach my kid to call adults whatever they want to be called. For most of my friends, it's first name, but others "Ms. Kay," "Uncle Rob," "Mr. Moneypenny."

[Anonymous]

My friends/friends of the family, they call by either first name of Auntie/Uncle X according to the adult’s preference.

Daycare teachers were Ms/Mr Firstname since that’s the convention at the daycare.

School teachers, swim instructors, librarians, etc I will default to Ms/Mr Lastname unless they teach the children something else in which case we use whatever they ask.

Friend’s parents I’m still figuring out. My gut instinct is to default to the more formal version until they tell the kids what they’d prefer. But often I don’t know the parents’ full names! Eliza’s mom introduces herself to me as Ann and I still don’t know either of their family names never mind if they share the same one! So far I’ve been encouraging Ms/Mr for friends’ parents; we’ll see how it shakes out as they get older.

In general my own manners are: start formal but use what the person asks if they tell you not to use the most formal option.

[Anonymous]

I prefer Mrs. x., until you are an adult. I look down on parents who encourage their kids without my permission to call me by my first name, but then again I am from the South.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer Mrs. x., until you are an adult. I look down on parents who encourage their kids without my permission to call me by my first name, but then again I am from the South.

Is your first name some sort of state secret? Or do you hate it for some reason? Otherwise I don't truly don't understand this point of view. Particularly since you don't seem to want to tell people how you prefer to be referred to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I encourage "Mr. Steve," but I don't get hung up on it.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Mr Tom and Ms Jessica is a good compromise. It feels a little too familiar for a kid to call a parent by Jimmy, but Mr. Mathews feels overly formal.

Yes. My kids call their friends' parents Ms./Mr. First Name for this exact reason.

Culturally, they refer all of our friends as uncle or auntie as a sign of respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer Mrs. x., until you are an adult. I look down on parents who encourage their kids without my permission to call me by my first name, but then again I am from the South.

It's pretty weird that you openly admit how judgmental you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Mr Tom and Ms Jessica is a good compromise. It feels a little too familiar for a kid to call a parent by Jimmy, but Mr. Mathews feels overly formal.

Yes. My kids call their friends' parents Ms./Mr. First Name for this exact reason.

Culturally, they refer all of our friends as uncle or auntie as a sign of respect.

This is a strange rationale. What do you teach your kids about respect? And what have those other adults done to earn respect, other than living an extra 20-30 years without dying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer Mrs. x., until you are an adult. I look down on parents who encourage their kids without my permission to call me by my first name, but then again I am from the South.

It's pretty weird that you openly admit how judgmental you are.

I've generally found that the people who demand "respect" the loudest are typically the people who have done the least to earn it.

[Anonymous]

For my kids it’s Mr/Ms last name, until the adult specifies. For DW it’s the same. For me (where I grew up in the US) the Mr/Ms first name is rude and I haven’t shaken that yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer Mrs. x., until you are an adult. I look down on parents who encourage their kids without my permission to call me by my first name, but then again I am from the South.

+1 (Except from the Northeast.)

[Anonymous]

Mr. and Mrs. is the convention among the parents I know. If they'd rather be called by their first name they will tell the kid.

For my close female friends they use "Miss".

[Anonymous]

Oh man, this hits home. I was raised in Texas and would NEVER have done such a thing, it was like spitting in someone's eye. Now I live here and friends of DH's have taught their 6 year old to call me "Jenny" - no Ms., no Larla's mom - and every. single. time. my initial reaction is "wtf did you just say???"

The kid is doing nothing wrong because her parents literally told her to call adults by their names. But I cannot get over how upset it makes me, and it makes me think the kid is a brat even though she is obeying her mom and dad.

So no, I don't let my kid do that, not at this tender age. If she grows into a bratty teen who tries it out to test boundaries I won't be shocked, but a little kid is not on par with an adult and it's weird and off-putting to pretend otherwise.