You are SO not invited to my bat mitzvah - movie on netflix

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever happened to "representation matters"? It is a problem when our Jewish identity is not enough and in order to show up in popular culture we can only be tolerated if our Jewishness is tempered by some other, more fashionable identity.

+1 It's a double standard here.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was that their day school or their weekend Hebrew school?

I didn’t understand the Ecuadorian exchange student or whatever.

I think they attended a regular school during the week and the Hebrew school was held at their temple on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Oh what overindulged spoiled brats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the Jews who has diversity at our temple including Blacks and Latinos. (Suburb of NYC.) It scares me to think about how some of you would treat them if you were part of the community here.

The issue isn't whether they are welcome in a traditional Jewish community. You must (or maybe you don't, since you say "temple"!) know that halacha has nothing to say about race as it is understood in America today.

But I think the complaint is really about the movie's decision to obscure Jewish ethnicity (as a stand-alone ethnicity) to pander to universalizing fashion. Jews can't just be Jews? We have to show that we're not too Jewey because we're still trying to make ourselves into something Gentile's find inoffensive? Spoiler: that has never, ever worked in the past, and we are supposed to be the people who remember.

Thanks for the insult! Sorry for not being Jewish enough for you. Temple is literally in the name and that's how people refer to it here.

Honest question- if there WERE a documentary about my community and the Black and Latino families were shown prominently, would that irritate you? Or a few is okay but too many is not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re Jewish or grew up going to bat mitzvahs, watch this! The Sandler kids are very talented and this hit close to home.

Ech, it got overrated, over publicized and didn’t live up to the hype.

She’s a cute girl for sure but boy did some characters need to learn to drop jerks like a hot potato.

do you have kids in middle school? The social dynamics seemed pretty spot on to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have never attended a Bat Mitzvah nor do I know anyone Jewish (I live in the midwest). What are they like? what do ppl do?

There are Jewish people in the Midwest. My cousin married a jewish guy from Ohio. She transplanted him to NY of course. So now there are 25% fewer Jewish people there.

+1. Strange comment- there are lots of Jews from the Midwest, which is a huge region of the US. I’m married to one, actually. The main Reform Judaism seminary is in Cincinnati.

Guess it depends where in the Midwest. I’m Jewish and have family in Chicago where there many Jewish areas. But I also have friends from say, Minnesota, and the only jew they ever knew of was Al franken (until they met me, of course.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Jewish and he rolled his eyes at the tremendous diversity in the Hebrew school scenes. While we understand and support representation in movies, it wasn’t realistic and to a certain extent co-opts what is a singular Jewish experience. (I’m Catholic so I don’t have a dog in this fight.)

He also pointed out that Jewish mothers spend a year+ planning the event (while the movie made it seem like they are thrown together, including shopping for the dress at the last minute).

I would have loved to see Sara Silverman or Seinfeld or another Jewish comedian make a cameo. Missed opportunity.

I was very distracted by this.

It's so sad that diversity throws off some posters. I love to see it in movies and it makes more people feel included.
We've watched it twice with groups of middle schoolers who could not get enough. Watching it the second time I caught more cute details that really cement this one as a quotable classic. I think it will be one they all watch several times.

?

Diversity isn’t throwing off viewers.

Rather, actual Jewish people thought it was odd to see so much diversity at Hebrew school. The film centers around scenes at Hebrew school, which is a unique rite of passage for Jewish people.

Beyond being unrealistic—which is expected to a large degree with Hollywood films—it simply isn’t representative of *Jewish people* and their experience.

That’s legit criticism.

A few (adopted) Asian kids would have made sense. But black kids at Hebrew school? Latinos? Not a chance…especially in NJ.

Guys, it’s 2023. 9% of Jews are not white. Yes, there are Black Jews, Latino Jews and Asian Jews- who aren’t adopted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Jewish and he rolled his eyes at the tremendous diversity in the Hebrew school scenes. While we understand and support representation in movies, it wasn’t realistic and to a certain extent co-opts what is a singular Jewish experience. (I’m Catholic so I don’t have a dog in this fight.)

He also pointed out that Jewish mothers spend a year+ planning the event (while the movie made it seem like they are thrown together, including shopping for the dress at the last minute).

I would have loved to see Sara Silverman or Seinfeld or another Jewish comedian make a cameo. Missed opportunity.

I was very distracted by this.

It's so sad that diversity throws off some posters. I love to see it in movies and it makes more people feel included.
We've watched it twice with groups of middle schoolers who could not get enough. Watching it the second time I caught more cute details that really cement this one as a quotable classic. I think it will be one they all watch several times.

?

Diversity isn’t throwing off viewers.

Rather, actual Jewish people thought it was odd to see so much diversity at Hebrew school. The film centers around scenes at Hebrew school, which is a unique rite of passage for Jewish people.

Beyond being unrealistic—which is expected to a large degree with Hollywood films—it simply isn’t representative of *Jewish people* and their experience.

That’s legit criticism.

A few (adopted) Asian kids would have made sense. But black kids at Hebrew school? Latinos? Not a chance…especially in NJ.

Guys, it’s 2023. 9% of Jews are not white. Yes, there are Black Jews, Latino Jews and Asian Jews- who aren’t adopted.

In mixed reform or conservative Hebrew schools in NJ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Jewish and he rolled his eyes at the tremendous diversity in the Hebrew school scenes. While we understand and support representation in movies, it wasn’t realistic and to a certain extent co-opts what is a singular Jewish experience. (I’m Catholic so I don’t have a dog in this fight.)

He also pointed out that Jewish mothers spend a year+ planning the event (while the movie made it seem like they are thrown together, including shopping for the dress at the last minute).

I would have loved to see Sara Silverman or Seinfeld or another Jewish comedian make a cameo. Missed opportunity.

I was very distracted by this.

It's so sad that diversity throws off some posters. I love to see it in movies and it makes more people feel included.
We've watched it twice with groups of middle schoolers who could not get enough. Watching it the second time I caught more cute details that really cement this one as a quotable classic. I think it will be one they all watch several times.

?

Diversity isn’t throwing off viewers.

Rather, actual Jewish people thought it was odd to see so much diversity at Hebrew school. The film centers around scenes at Hebrew school, which is a unique rite of passage for Jewish people.

Beyond being unrealistic—which is expected to a large degree with Hollywood films—it simply isn’t representative of *Jewish people* and their experience.

That’s legit criticism.

A few (adopted) Asian kids would have made sense. But black kids at Hebrew school? Latinos? Not a chance…especially in NJ.

Guys, it’s 2023. 9% of Jews are not white. Yes, there are Black Jews, Latino Jews and Asian Jews- who aren’t adopted.

In mixed reform or conservative Hebrew schools in NJ?

It’s New Jersey, not Oklahoma.

[Anonymous]

It’s pretty sad how invested some posters are in maintaining “Jewish identity” as white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty sad how invested some posters are in maintaining “Jewish identity” as white.

You have missed the point. It isn't about "whiteness " but it is about descent from Jews. They may read as "white" to people who have race on the brain, but we have long had our own thing going on and have preserved our peoplehood across millenia in spite of severe efforts to penalize us for resisting assimilation. Not sure how Adam Sandler, the guy who always told us we should feel seen for who we have always been, inserted this celebration of assimilation into his recent movie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty sad how invested some posters are in maintaining “Jewish identity” as white.

You have missed the point. It isn't about "whiteness " but it is about descent from Jews. They may read as "white" to people who have race on the brain, but we have long had our own thing going on and have preserved our peoplehood across millenia in spite of severe efforts to penalize us for resisting assimilation. Not sure how Adam Sandler, the guy who always told us we should feel seen for who we have always been, inserted this celebration of assimilation into his recent movie.

So when you see Jews of Color or people of color in Jewish spaces, this is what you are thinking? That it represents assimilation? Rather than the continuation of the Jewish people? You would prefer that they (we) simply opt out of organized Judaism?
Wow, I hope you aren’t members at our shul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty sad how invested some posters are in maintaining “Jewish identity” as white.

You have missed the point. It isn't about "whiteness " but it is about descent from Jews. They may read as "white" to people who have race on the brain, but we have long had our own thing going on and have preserved our peoplehood across millenia in spite of severe efforts to penalize us for resisting assimilation. Not sure how Adam Sandler, the guy who always told us we should feel seen for who we have always been, inserted this celebration of assimilation into his recent movie.

So when you see Jews of Color or people of color in Jewish spaces, this is what you are thinking? That it represents assimilation? Rather than the continuation of the Jewish people? You would prefer that they (we) simply opt out of organized Judaism?
Wow, I hope you aren’t members at our shul.

DP. Jeez, no one is saying that. We are saying that the diversity in the movie felt like more of a bow to woke cultural standards than it did to accurately representing diversity in the Jewish community. The fact of the matter is that there is some diversity in judaism, but far from the extent portrayed in the movie. It was like bridgerton casting that was completely blind to the actual profile of the demographic they were portraying. And some of us find that obnoxious in a movie that is already about a minority ethnicity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty sad how invested some posters are in maintaining “Jewish identity” as white.

You have missed the point. It isn't about "whiteness " but it is about descent from Jews. They may read as "white" to people who have race on the brain, but we have long had our own thing going on and have preserved our peoplehood across millenia in spite of severe efforts to penalize us for resisting assimilation. Not sure how Adam Sandler, the guy who always told us we should feel seen for who we have always been, inserted this celebration of assimilation into his recent movie.

So when you see Jews of Color or people of color in Jewish spaces, this is what you are thinking? That it represents assimilation? Rather than the continuation of the Jewish people? You would prefer that they (we) simply opt out of organized Judaism?
Wow, I hope you aren’t members at our shul.

DP. Jeez, no one is saying that. We are saying that the diversity in the movie felt like more of a bow to woke cultural standards than it did to accurately representing diversity in the Jewish community. The fact of the matter is that there is some diversity in judaism, but far from the extent portrayed in the movie. It was like bridgerton casting that was completely blind to the actual profile of the demographic they were portraying. And some of us find that obnoxious in a movie that is already about a minority ethnicity.

This.

[Anonymous]

I went back and looked at two scenes where they are in a classroom for religious purposes. In a class of roughly 16 kids, there were 3 non-white kids. The bigger issue might be the gender imbalance because there are only 5 boys. I'm not bothered by it, but I'm also not bothered by the non-white kids.