My relationship advice: get an education, date only with an eye toward marriage, marry young (22-27)

[Anonymous]

I think this is pretty standard relationship advice for most of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be totally different. I did it your way.

I would say get an education, save all your money, never marry and never have kids.

That’s not a life.

The happiest women are living that life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be totally different. I did it your way.

I would say get an education, save all your money, never marry and never have kids.

That’s not a life.

The happiest women are living that life.

They are not. Kind of foolish nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be totally different. I did it your way.

I would say get an education, save all your money, never marry and never have kids.

That’s not a life.

The happiest women are living that life.

They are not. Kind of foolish nonsense.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-many-single-women-without-children-are-so-happy?amp

Women initiate the vast majority of divorces, too, so that should tell you that women don’t enjoy being married, generally.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Young weddings shortly after college are so romantic and gorgeous. Babies in your early or mid 20s, your body bounces back immediately. Young hot parents with two white collar incomes, working from home, quickly buying a nice big house. It ought to be the dream.

no, that's my nightmare. I wanted to travel and do things and build my career.

Why? To what purpose? In PP's dream both have jobs and are doing their career and most likely travel.

And grandparents live next door and even though by this match are probably only 40, luckily they're retired! They can take the kids at any time, anywhere.

The nice thing is you get to live in the city, but als have a horse in your backyard. Everyone has a pony in fact.

Also, you have rich parents so you don't need to worry about college costs or having a huge loan. And we can all retire at 50.

50 is too old! You must retire by 39 so that you can then raise your grandkids.

The good news is that everyone is so young, healthy, wealthy, and beautiful that somehow it all just works out. Just marry when you're 20, get two white collar jobs, and have babies early. Magic presto, all good.

Right? Every 20 something year old will bounce right back after popping out two babies. The 20 something yr old man will be the perfect father and do half of the childcare and housechores and support his wife's career, all while he give hers plenty of time to work on herself, like going to the gym and the salon so she can look pretty for him. Oh, and she will be ready and willing to have sex whenever he demands it.

Yea, it's a perfect life.

LOL

You're projecting, dear. Nobody said 20 years old. The literal title of this thread is 22 to 27, i.e. after both parties have earned their bachelor's degrees and have begun full-time careers and/or professional school.

First of all, you have reading comprehension issues. Slow down, and read more carefully. I stated "20 something", as in 22 to 27.

Secondly, even at 27, a college grad will just be on the cusp of hitting the upward trajectory of their career. Mid to upper level management are not filled with 27 yr olds. They are filled with 30 something year olds and upwards.

OP's post is fine for people who don't have career aspirations and don't want to do anything else but have kids and a SFH. If that's the kind of life you want, then sure.

But, I have told my teens NOT to get married until they are at least 30 and are financially stable and have savings. Most 20 something yr olds are still rather immature and don't really know what they want until they get closer to 30.

I am 52, and my sisters married in their 20s. Even their kids aren't planning to get serious about marriage until they are closer to 30, and they think that's a good idea. They didn't want their kids getting married at 25.

How does getting married contradict having an ambitious career? Not following.

Because she's projecting. Girl boss liar who is unmarried and/or childless.

? I'm 52, had a good career, and have two teens. I worked on my career first and traveled, and did want I wanted to do. Once you get married, it's a lot harder to focus just on yourself.

I built up my career and my own wealth, then found a partner. I do not ever recommend a woman being reliant upon a man to help build her wealth. She should be able to do it on her own.

I am jaded. I saw my mother and sisters go through hell in their marriages; they got married in their 20s and couldn't focus on themselves, career or build their own wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be totally different. I did it your way.

I would say get an education, save all your money, never marry and never have kids.

+1 to never marry or have kids. I would be much happier

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be totally different. I did it your way.

I would say get an education, save all your money, never marry and never have kids.

That’s not a life.

The happiest women are living that life.

They are not. Kind of foolish nonsense.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-many-single-women-without-children-are-so-happy?amp

Women initiate the vast majority of divorces, too, so that should tell you that women don’t enjoy being married, generally.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best relationship advice is to look at the marital history of your significant other's parents. People who have had parents stay married for long lengths of time have more dedication towards making a marriage work.

I agree with this and told my DC to look for this in a future spouse.

Disagree. Both our parents are miserably married forever. We had a miserable marriage and thank god we are divorced. From the outside at the beginning, it looked right. It was a toxic mess. But hey, our parents are married (eyeroll). Nothing worse than being in a miserable marriage for 40+ years. No thanks.

My parents are divorced and all of my siblings and I are very happily married. Anecdotally the friends and family I know who went on about how they both had parents were 'still together after x years' ended up divorced.

I think it is a mistake to use this metric as any type of filtering factor. Other qualities are much more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be totally different. I did it your way.

I would say get an education, save all your money, never marry and never have kids.

That’s not a life.

The happiest women are living that life.

They are not. Kind of foolish nonsense.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-many-single-women-without-children-are-so-happy?amp

Women initiate the vast majority of divorces, too, so that should tell you that women don’t enjoy being married, generally.

I don't think that's what the stat says. That says women are more likely to pull the plug on an unhappy marriage, not that women don't enjoy being married.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't disagree with this more. If I married the guy I dated at 27, I'd be divorced and less well off than I am now. I had so much personal and professional growth between the ages of 27 and 33 (when I ultimately got married). I am a much better person now for having had that time to find myself. I would highly discourage my kids from marrying before 30.

But that doesn’t give enough to time to get to know your spouse before having kids, unless you also mean no trying for kids until 35.

No one needs to be married 5 years before having kids to "get to know them". You should know them before you marry them. If you end up with your spouse older, everyone is in a different place.

I think a couple should have fun and live a full life together before kids and stress and no time for each other.

[Anonymous]

If doctors were as willing to perform tubal ligations as they are willing to perform vasectomies…