Check your phone at the door

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to derail the party thread, but a couple people mentioned having teens/tweens leave their phone and bag at the door when socializing.

How does this work in practice? You tell your guests to leave their phones? Or have your kids do it? A pile of backpacks in the entryway? If a kid wants to keep theirs with them, do you say no?

I actually think my oldest would like this since she complained about get togethers when everyone is staring at their phones and she doesn't love the TikTok culture that a couple of her friends are getting into.

Should I just have her throw me under the bus and say "my mom came up with this lame rule that you can use your phone in the kitchen but they stay in this basket there when we go hang out"?

I don't have drug or alcohol concerns yet, but better to start the policy before I do, right?

I think the healthier way to handle this is to brainstorm with your teen about ways she can encourage her friends to drop the phone. Not to swoop in as a parent to force it. Can she explain to her friends that she wants to chat with them and not be in Tik Tok? Can she suggest an alternate activity? She should be learning to handle this on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

Why would you want your kid to refuse? A few hours when hanging out? What is the harm in not having their phones? Just curious. Ew

My kids keep theirs on them due to some safety issues that are unique to our family. I have also taught kids who keep them on them so they can call if they have a seizure aura, or so their CGM can communicate with it's app.

None of these kids should have to explain why they need it.

If your kid needs their phone that bad then yes they need to explain.

I see no reason if it is a health issue of course they can keep it. You are absurd no one taking a phone off a kid if it is a health reason.

But no kid needs their phone prom night or homecoming with 25 of their closest peeps they are already in the same room.

This is your opinion. It’s just one. If this parent feels differently it’s not for you to decide or create an inaccurate backstory as to why they are wrong or making this choice. Parent your own kid. Not anyone else’s.

So tell us - why would your kid need a phone on prom night when she is already with all of her closest friends?

Because shit happens. Especially on prom night. Don’t you remember being a teenager?

You know what I’m going to say, right? No cell phones when I was a teenager.

And while you might’ve been OK, they were plenty of kids that were not. I have so many friends that experienced sexual assault of teenagers by their peers. Or had to ride with kids that were drinking because they had no other choice. If they’d had a phone, they might’ve been able to call a parent and say they were uncomfortable, I needed to get home. Or that they themselves had too much to drink and needed a lift. I’m 49 we definitely didn’t have cell phones. Hopefully my child won’t need to call me but if they do, they’re going to have access - and not by going through a parent who’s not paying attention to gain permission to use their own property. If we want clear communication with our kids the route should be available. They do dumb stuff but don’t need to suffer if there is a way we can help.

[Anonymous]

Just advertise it as a phone free gathering
Kids (or their parents) can just skip it if it’s that important
I think personally you’d be doing the kids a big service to offer this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

And yet we all managed to grow up without one

I can recall some times growing up where I could have definitely used a cell phone and wish I had had it. I have zero desire to go back to the days where you could end up on a highway at night with a flat tire and no way to call for help. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

Not PP, but my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home. But it's ok, I'm pretty sure our kids are not friends

How old are they and why do they need their phones in their pocket AT ALL TIMES?

What places do you travel do where you leave your phone at home? Just curious. Do you leave your phone at home when you grocery shopping? To the mall? To work? Because heaven knows you don’t need to be glued to your phone! Or DCUM.

Hmm. You didn't answer the question. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

Not PP, but my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home. But it's ok, I'm pretty sure our kids are not friends

How old are they and why do they need their phones in their pocket AT ALL TIMES?

My kid has to have his phone at all times because he's a type 1 diabetic. His phone relays to him all information from his Dexcom (glucose monitor) and insulin pump. You wouldn't believe how many times he's had substitute teachers in school try to take his phone or had random strangers comment on his phone use while at dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just advertise it as a phone free gathering
Kids (or their parents) can just skip it if it’s that important
I think personally you’d be doing the kids a big service to offer this

That’s so different and could be a novel event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

Not PP, but my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home. But it's ok, I'm pretty sure our kids are not friends

How old are they and why do they need their phones in their pocket AT ALL TIMES?

What places do you travel do where you leave your phone at home? Just curious. Do you leave your phone at home when you grocery shopping? To the mall? To work? Because heaven knows you don’t need to be glued to your phone! Or DCUM.

Hmm. You didn't answer the question. Interesting.

Hmmmm you either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to derail the party thread, but a couple people mentioned having teens/tweens leave their phone and bag at the door when socializing.

How does this work in practice? You tell your guests to leave their phones? Or have your kids do it? A pile of backpacks in the entryway? If a kid wants to keep theirs with them, do you say no?

I actually think my oldest would like this since she complained about get togethers when everyone is staring at their phones and she doesn't love the TikTok culture that a couple of her friends are getting into.

Should I just have her throw me under the bus and say "my mom came up with this lame rule that you can use your phone in the kitchen but they stay in this basket there when we go hang out"?

I don't have drug or alcohol concerns yet, but better to start the policy before I do, right?

I think the healthier way to handle this is to brainstorm with your teen about ways she can encourage her friends to drop the phone. Not to swoop in as a parent to force it. Can she explain to her friends that she wants to chat with them and not be in Tik Tok? Can she suggest an alternate activity? She should be learning to handle this on her own.

YES

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

You are ridiculous. How did you ever survive as a teen without a phone? My kids all go to a school where phones thankfully have to be in their lockers all day except for 10min after lunch - or they receive morning detention. I guess that wouldn't fly with helicopters like you.

I have kids over all of the time and we have a bin by on the foyer table. The kids can come up and use their phone anytime they want - in the foyer. If they sit there in the foyer all night on their phone to wait for Mommy texts, so be it. The kids that come over my house spend the entire night in the basement and come up 1-2x over a 4 hour period to check their phones. All kids are encouraged to give their parents my cell if there is an emergency. I have had one parent text me about a change of ride. That's it.

Parents that need phones attached to their kid's hip are the absolute problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

You are ridiculous. How did you ever survive as a teen without a phone? My kids all go to a school where phones thankfully have to be in their lockers all day except for 10min after lunch - or they receive morning detention. I guess that wouldn't fly with helicopters like you.

I have kids over all of the time and we have a bin by on the foyer table. The kids can come up and use their phone anytime they want - in the foyer. If they sit there in the foyer all night on their phone to wait for Mommy texts, so be it. The kids that come over my house spend the entire night in the basement and come up 1-2x over a 4 hour period to check their phones. All kids are encouraged to give their parents my cell if there is an emergency. I have had one parent text me about a change of ride. That's it.

Parents that need phones attached to their kid's hip are the absolute problem

Parents that think they are the authority on a topic might need a check as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

You are ridiculous. How did you ever survive as a teen without a phone? My kids all go to a school where phones thankfully have to be in their lockers all day except for 10min after lunch - or they receive morning detention. I guess that wouldn't fly with helicopters like you.

I have kids over all of the time and we have a bin by on the foyer table. The kids can come up and use their phone anytime they want - in the foyer. If they sit there in the foyer all night on their phone to wait for Mommy texts, so be it. The kids that come over my house spend the entire night in the basement and come up 1-2x over a 4 hour period to check their phones. All kids are encouraged to give their parents my cell if there is an emergency. I have had one parent text me about a change of ride. That's it.

Parents that need phones attached to their kid's hip are the absolute problem

I should emphasize when we have friends over on these nights, it is a known phone-free night with that sole purpose. Kids can choose not to come. When friends come over after school or last minute or just a 1-1 sleepover, we don't just randomly take away phones upon entering our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

Not PP, but my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home. But it's ok, I'm pretty sure our kids are not friends

How old are they and why do they need their phones in their pocket AT ALL TIMES?

What places do you travel do where you leave your phone at home? Just curious. Do you leave your phone at home when you grocery shopping? To the mall? To work? Because heaven knows you don’t need to be glued to your phone! Or DCUM.

Hmm. You didn't answer the question. Interesting.

Hmmmm you either

You said "my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home".
How old are they and why do they need their phones in their pocket AT ALL TIMES?

I never claimed I needed my phone in the pocket at all times, nor is an adult's cell phone use relevant to the discussion of children and cell phones.
Just answer the question, Claire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

Not PP, but my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home. But it's ok, I'm pretty sure our kids are not friends

How old are they and why do they need their phones in their pocket AT ALL TIMES?

My kid has to have his phone at all times because he's a type 1 diabetic. His phone relays to him all information from his Dexcom (glucose monitor) and insulin pump. You wouldn't believe how many times he's had substitute teachers in school try to take his phone or had random strangers comment on his phone use while at dinner.

No one is advocating taking the phone away from your diabetic kid FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

You are ridiculous. How did you ever survive as a teen without a phone? My kids all go to a school where phones thankfully have to be in their lockers all day except for 10min after lunch - or they receive morning detention. I guess that wouldn't fly with helicopters like you.

I have kids over all of the time and we have a bin by on the foyer table. The kids can come up and use their phone anytime they want - in the foyer. If they sit there in the foyer all night on their phone to wait for Mommy texts, so be it. The kids that come over my house spend the entire night in the basement and come up 1-2x over a 4 hour period to check their phones. All kids are encouraged to give their parents my cell if there is an emergency. I have had one parent text me about a change of ride. That's it.

Parents that need phones attached to their kid's hip are the absolute problem

Parents that think they are the authority on a topic might need a check as well.

Who is the authority? I have said these kids know these specific nights are phone free. No one is forced to come and they love them. Parents who can't let Larla without a phone, just won't come. No big deal. She can stay home alone and scroll social media. Not my problem.