Check your phone at the door

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a basket near front door/kitchen where our kids drop their phones and a lot of times their friends do. I give all friends my phone number and tell their parents they can always reach their kids by calling me for them. As if it's the 1980's. Your kid isn't a surgeon - there's no emergency that requires your 12 year old. We've had this set-up for years and never had a parent tell me they have a problem, or a kid say they can't come to our house because of the phone thing.

The kids are welcome to go over to their phone any time they want. Some have to check in every half hour.

I think what you are doing is fine because the kids can access their phones if needed, but to be clear regarding an emergency - sure there are things I’d like to be in touch with my middle schooler about. “Did you remember your epi pen?” “I need to pick you up early because Dad has to run out - see you 5:30 instead of 6”. Things like that that I would rather talk to him directly about than involve you.

But the real issue is making sure he can contact ME. If something is making him uncomfortable in the house, whether a person or a scary dog or an unlocked weapon, whatever it is, I want him able to contact me so I can get him, no questions asked.

Again, I think your set up is fine but this is my thought process as a parent for wanting to have contact.

If your kid needs an epi-pen to come to my house then I sincerely hope you are letting me know what their deadly allergy is so I can help with food and contamination. And if your husband needs to pick up a half hour early you can text or call me and say "John is going to pick Theo up at 5:30 instead of 6," and I'll just tell your kid.

It’s complicated, but we haven’t identified an allergen for my kid, and he self administers. As for the early pickup, of course I can call you, but frankly I’d prefer to just contact my kid.

Do you prefer to use the app when ordering food or making reservations? Do you dislike talking to people in person or on the phone? Are you a Millennial?

Yes! Gen X actually. Why?

[Anonymous]

It’s naive to think a phone basket will change much. Of course we’re all on phones too much and it’s messing up our kids. They aren’t going to magically be social able if we limit access. They’ll just drool at the tv or get into trouble another way. And any kid looking for drugs or alcohol will find it. A phone is not needed for that. I wish taking a phone would achieve more good, but it’s not really going to.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I am in a weird place with this thread. On one hand, I think it's absurd to force kids to give up their phones, especially as they get older. I can't decide if it's infantalizing them, and expecting they do do things much younger than age-appropriate, or Boomer-esque by assuming they will sit around and chat like Grandma does before her bridge game.

On the other hand, I think the people who insist that their kids never, ever be separated from their phones because they have to be able to be contacted all the time, or because here may be a scary dog, or someone might be mean to them, or whatever other nonsense they have come up with are equally, if not more ridiculous.

So, I guess I have no home. Verdict, ESH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am in a weird place with this thread. On one hand, I think it's absurd to force kids to give up their phones, especially as they get older. I can't decide if it's infantalizing them, and expecting they do do things much younger than age-appropriate, or Boomer-esque by assuming they will sit around and chat like Grandma does before her bridge game.

On the other hand, I think the people who insist that their kids never, ever be separated from their phones because they have to be able to be contacted all the time, or because here may be a scary dog, or someone might be mean to them, or whatever other nonsense they have come up with are equally, if not more ridiculous.

So, I guess I have no home. Verdict, ESH.

Please. How often do you leave the house without YOUR phone? I could question you on all the reasons you think you might need a cell phone when you go somewhere and it would be just as silly. And none of my business.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see anyone, insisting their kid never ever be separated from their phone. A few pps are being extreme in spinning that thought.

Folks can have house rules, and we can decide if they are reasonable. Hopefully our kids will tell us if they are being asked to do something out of the norm for our family.

I dunno. It’s not that complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

Not PP, but my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home. But it's ok, I'm pretty sure our kids are not friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

Why would you want your kid to refuse? A few hours when hanging out? What is the harm in not having their phones? Just curious. Ew

My kids keep theirs on them due to some safety issues that are unique to our family. I have also taught kids who keep them on them so they can call if they have a seizure aura, or so their CGM can communicate with it's app.

None of these kids should have to explain why they need it.

If your kid needs their phone that bad then yes they need to explain.

I see no reason if it is a health issue of course they can keep it. You are absurd no one taking a phone off a kid if it is a health reason.

But no kid needs their phone prom night or homecoming with 25 of their closest peeps they are already in the same room.

So if all five teens say they have health reasons for needing to keep their phone on hand, I hope you honor your word and let them…without demanding private health information to justify it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the reasoning behind taking kid’s phones?

1. They stop texting others to come
2. They stop texting to get more alcohol
3. When they come to get it back from you, you can see if they are drunk or high and then no leaving til their parents pick them up. woo hoo.

Honestly, this is not hard.

We always did this and keys and backpacks for homecoming and prom. Didn't stop all the alcohol or drugs but did help keep the amounts down and not one kid left driving drunk.

One mom did not allow kids to come with cars on homecoming. I thought that was a good idea as well.

Maybe spend less time micromanaging phone use and more time keeping an eye on the apparently drinking under age teens under your roof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1

This. A dad recently took my 17 year olds cell phone (and the phones of all 6 kids that had come over) because he wanted them to interact with each other. We had a family change in plans and I was frantically texting/calling my kid to no avail. I finally got a hold of the dad (he was outside doing yard work) who admitted he had put all of their phones in a box by the door and they were downstairs playing video games. I was pretty hot (at the dad, not my kid.)

Yes, I know we all lived in a time where we didn't all have phones. But folks also use to not have cars and rode horses. You don't see a hitching post outside my house.

This is why my kid also has an Apple Watch.

What if OP wanted to take that too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

Why would you want your kid to refuse? A few hours when hanging out? What is the harm in not having their phones? Just curious. Ew

My kids keep theirs on them due to some safety issues that are unique to our family. I have also taught kids who keep them on them so they can call if they have a seizure aura, or so their CGM can communicate with it's app.

None of these kids should have to explain why they need it.

If your kid needs their phone that bad then yes they need to explain.

I see no reason if it is a health issue of course they can keep it. You are absurd no one taking a phone off a kid if it is a health reason.

But no kid needs their phone prom night or homecoming with 25 of their closest peeps they are already in the same room.

This is your opinion. It’s just one. If this parent feels differently it’s not for you to decide or create an inaccurate backstory as to why they are wrong or making this choice. Parent your own kid. Not anyone else’s.

So tell us - why would your kid need a phone on prom night when she is already with all of her closest friends?

Because shit happens. Especially on prom night. Don’t you remember being a teenager?

You know what I’m going to say, right? No cell phones when I was a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a relief this thread is! So many like-minded parents! Some who would never ever consider something like this and would defriend anyone who tried it and others who would be very happy to have a rule like this in place and would be happy for their kids to have friends like that. Such a neat division of phones and no-phones.

Agree. Really helps you figure out which families share your values, and which don't. Neat easy litmus test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

Not PP, but my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home. But it's ok, I'm pretty sure our kids are not friends

How old are they and why do they need their phones in their pocket AT ALL TIMES?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

That's fine. Your rude kid doesn't need to come to my kid's house and stare at his phone here.

Not PP, but my kids are also expected to have their phones with them at all times when they are away from home. But it's ok, I'm pretty sure our kids are not friends

How old are they and why do they need their phones in their pocket AT ALL TIMES?

What places do you travel do where you leave your phone at home? Just curious. Do you leave your phone at home when you grocery shopping? To the mall? To work? Because heaven knows you don’t need to be glued to your phone! Or DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one can see porn in my house if their phone is with me. That’s my reasoning.

I can think of 3 ways right now to do this that do not involve a phone, tablet, or computer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be weirded out if I found out my kid was forced to check their phone at the door in your house.

+1 Stuff comes up and my kid is expected to have his phone on him at all times when he is out of our house. It's a rule.

And yet we all managed to grow up without one