Stanford Sued After Following Another Student Suicide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t think people would be defending a male athlete throwing hot coffee on a female athlete for some perceived wrongdoing that had been investigated and dropped by two different investigatory agencies.

That's not the issue. Throwing hot coffee on another person is not defensible.

The concern is how the university handled that transgression. Was it overly punitive? Was it appropriate to threaten removal of her degree? Is it fair that other students who commit physical assault don't face similar consequences? Should her previously clean disciplinary record (3+ years on campus) be considered? Should their knowledge that she was seeking therapy factor into how they delivered this news? Was it necessary to draw out the process for six months and deliver the threat of expulsion within hours of the filing deadline? Was there appropriate due process? And the bigger question...did the sum of their actions contribute to her death?

Stanford's OCR judicial process was under scrutiny for over 10 years prior to this incident. Reforms were recommended. It seems many of those reforms were not implemented.

I'm not sure the university will be held accountable, but one can hope this leads to reform of their disciplinary process. This is a life that could have been saved with a different approach...that's the real tragedy here.

Can you please give examples on how it was overly punitive? I read the complaint and I don’t see it.

you don’t think that including not receiving her degree is punitive for allegedly throwing her coffee given her history at school. Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t think people would be defending a male athlete throwing hot coffee on a female athlete for some perceived wrongdoing that had been investigated and dropped by two different investigatory agencies.

That's not the issue. Throwing hot coffee on another person is not defensible.

The concern is how the university handled that transgression. Was it overly punitive? Was it appropriate to threaten removal of her degree? Is it fair that other students who commit physical assault don't face similar consequences? Should her previously clean disciplinary record (3+ years on campus) be considered? Should their knowledge that she was seeking therapy factor into how they delivered this news? Was it necessary to draw out the process for six months and deliver the threat of expulsion within hours of the filing deadline? Was there appropriate due process? And the bigger question...did the sum of their actions contribute to her death?

Stanford's OCR judicial process was under scrutiny for over 10 years prior to this incident. Reforms were recommended. It seems many of those reforms were not implemented.

I'm not sure the university will be held accountable, but one can hope this leads to reform of their disciplinary process. This is a life that could have been saved with a different approach...that's the real tragedy here.

Can you please give examples on how it was overly punitive? I read the complaint and I don’t see it.

you don’t think that including not receiving her degree is punitive for allegedly throwing her coffee given her history at school. Really?

So, you don’t seem to understand how these things work and your indignation is misplaced.

She wasn’t being investigated for throwing coffee on someone. She was being investigated for assault which covers everything from throwing coffee on someone to beating someone to within an inch of their life. The punishment for assault on any campus is going to be up to expulsion.

The school doesn’t determine the punishment before running through the investigative process because you don’t want to tell the accused the limits of the punishment and then find out there was much worse behavior. Realistically, if there was nothing beyond the coffee, she wasn’t going to be expelled.

[Anonymous]

I guarantee Stanford will be making changes to its disciplinary process and procedures based on this case. The school definitely knows it made mistakes. I guarantee that no student will ever again receive notice after hours via email while alone in their room. They will be given notice in-person with a university official and a therapist on stand-by. And potential punishments will be tailored more closely to the alleged violations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t think people would be defending a male athlete throwing hot coffee on a female athlete for some perceived wrongdoing that had been investigated and dropped by two different investigatory agencies.

That's not the issue. Throwing hot coffee on another person is not defensible.

The concern is how the university handled that transgression. Was it overly punitive? Was it appropriate to threaten removal of her degree? Is it fair that other students who commit physical assault don't face similar consequences? Should her previously clean disciplinary record (3+ years on campus) be considered? Should their knowledge that she was seeking therapy factor into how they delivered this news? Was it necessary to draw out the process for six months and deliver the threat of expulsion within hours of the filing deadline? Was there appropriate due process? And the bigger question...did the sum of their actions contribute to her death?

Stanford's OCR judicial process was under scrutiny for over 10 years prior to this incident. Reforms were recommended. It seems many of those reforms were not implemented.

I'm not sure the university will be held accountable, but one can hope this leads to reform of their disciplinary process. This is a life that could have been saved with a different approach...that's the real tragedy here.

Can you please give examples on how it was overly punitive? I read the complaint and I don’t see it.

you don’t think that including not receiving her degree is punitive for allegedly throwing her coffee given her history at school. Really?

So, you don’t seem to understand how these things work and your indignation is misplaced.

She wasn’t being investigated for throwing coffee on someone. She was being investigated for assault which covers everything from throwing coffee on someone to beating someone to within an inch of their life. The punishment for assault on any campus is going to be up to expulsion.

The school doesn’t determine the punishment before running through the investigative process because you don’t want to tell the accused the limits of the punishment and then find out there was much worse behavior. Realistically, if there was nothing beyond the coffee, she wasn’t going to be expelled.

And you don’t seem to understand that it was her perception of message received and had put the school on notice of the stress it was causing her. Delivered In a callous and irresponsible manner that left her isolated and desperate despite everything she had done for school. It does matter what the offense was and her history. You may want to dismiss that but you are wrong, if “realistically” she would not have been expelled, then they should not have threatened it. And by the way, she DID already provide her side of the story months ago. The school failed her plain and simple. And hopefully they will pay but more importantly act differently next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee Stanford will be making changes to its disciplinary process and procedures based on this case. The school definitely knows it made mistakes. I guarantee that no student will ever again receive notice after hours via email while alone in their room. They will be given notice in-person with a university official and a therapist on stand-by. And potential punishments will be tailored more closely to the alleged violations.

Not sure if serious. You’re only viewing this from her perspective. Stanford has to have a process to handle all violations from Katie Miller to Brock Turner. Any fine tuning or tailoring that helps Katie HAS TO BE AVAILABLE to the Brock Turners of the world or Stanford will be facing massive liabilities.

She was emailed late at night because statute of limitations was about to expire. Say Stanford can’t find her or Brock leaves is in hiding Tun out the statute of limitations. Then what?

[Anonymous]

Stanford thinks that they are holier than thou. Weird processes to adjudicate inappropriate behavior for anything except sexual assault which they try to adjudicate rather than turning over to the police. How do you think a person would be charged for violating a persons body in a sexual way? Even in our messed up society that punishment would be worse than throwing coffee on someone. But not at Stanford! And somehow throwing coffee on someone could result in someone thinking that they will be expelled when Stanford will only suspend you one semester for cheating on a test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t think people would be defending a male athlete throwing hot coffee on a female athlete for some perceived wrongdoing that had been investigated and dropped by two different investigatory agencies.

That's not the issue. Throwing hot coffee on another person is not defensible.

The concern is how the university handled that transgression. Was it overly punitive? Was it appropriate to threaten removal of her degree? Is it fair that other students who commit physical assault don't face similar consequences? Should her previously clean disciplinary record (3+ years on campus) be considered? Should their knowledge that she was seeking therapy factor into how they delivered this news? Was it necessary to draw out the process for six months and deliver the threat of expulsion within hours of the filing deadline? Was there appropriate due process? And the bigger question...did the sum of their actions contribute to her death?

Stanford's OCR judicial process was under scrutiny for over 10 years prior to this incident. Reforms were recommended. It seems many of those reforms were not implemented.

I'm not sure the university will be held accountable, but one can hope this leads to reform of their disciplinary process. This is a life that could have been saved with a different approach...that's the real tragedy here.

Can you please give examples on how it was overly punitive? I read the complaint and I don’t see it.

you don’t think that including not receiving her degree is punitive for allegedly throwing her coffee given her history at school. Really?

So, you don’t seem to understand how these things work and your indignation is misplaced.

She wasn’t being investigated for throwing coffee on someone. She was being investigated for assault which covers everything from throwing coffee on someone to beating someone to within an inch of their life. The punishment for assault on any campus is going to be up to expulsion.

The school doesn’t determine the punishment before running through the investigative process because you don’t want to tell the accused the limits of the punishment and then find out there was much worse behavior. Realistically, if there was nothing beyond the coffee, she wasn’t going to be expelled.

And you don’t seem to understand that it was her perception of message received and had put the school on notice of the stress it was causing her. Delivered In a callous and irresponsible manner that left her isolated and desperate despite everything she had done for school. It does matter what the offense was and her history. You may want to dismiss that but you are wrong, if “realistically” she would not have been expelled, then they should not have threatened it. And by the way, she DID already provide her side of the story months ago. The school failed her plain and simple. And hopefully they will pay but more importantly act differently next time.

No. The whole point of due process is that you can’t go easy procedurally on Katie and then come down hard procedurally on Brock Turner. If you start doing that, then You threaten the integrity of your punishment on the real bad actors like Brock Turner. It doesn’t matter that she was stressed by this. I’m sure EVERYBODY who goes through the process is stressed by it. A fair and impartial process requires that everybody be treated the same until the process is over. Then, when doling out punishment, is when you adjust for things like “she was a great kid who screwed up” and “this was a heinous act which can’t result in a second chance”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many men accused of sexual assault at Stanford received an email threatening to withhold their diploma? I would be shocked if it were any. Certainly if a woman decides not to file a complaint, there is no discipline.

Meanwhile, she spills coffee. He doesn’t file a complaint. And Stanford still goes for the nuclear option. That’s an absurd over reaction. Did they learn nothing from Brock Turner?

I’m so furious. I was part of a similar incident at Dartmouth. The deans tried to push me into the campus disciplinary system and were pissed when I went to the Hanover police and asked to press charges. I was repeatedly asked by an administrator responsible for my access to course registration and on-campus job recruiting to drop the charges because it would be “better” to deal with it on campus. For them.

In the end, I stayed on campus during a break to testify in court. Unfortunately the prosecutor accepted a plea deal the day before. The incident- in which I had done nothing- ultimately affected my recruiting and my life after graduation.

Rest in peace, Katie Meyer. I hate what they did to her and respect her so much- anyone who doesn’t understand the power an institution has over its students in this kind of scenario is ignorant and naive. I wish they hadn’t cornered her like this.

How is this remotely similar? You were the victim, Katie was alleged to be the assailant.

The point is that universities should NOT be allowed to handle these situations.

The real problem is that the original sexual which was reported on campus was ignored by the university, and none of this might have happened if the university had properly addressed the sexual assault! Instead, Stanford, Dartmouth, and a host of other universities have broken extralegal disciplinary processes that do nothing but serve the university and its PR. Imagine if the original assailant had been punished? Instead he’s walking free and a girl who stood up for her friend was dragged into a convoluted, opaque system of punishment.

Adults don’t “stand up for their friends” by committing assault (yes, that’s what it is) and deliberately burning someone with a hot liquid. No. Sorry.

This could only be posted by a man, because I have known multiple adult women in college and grad school who, facing inaction by a university, threw a beer, a plate of dining hall food, trash, etc. at the assailant of their friend. Sometimes the only option left to show in public that friends will stand up for their victimized friend is a petty and stupid but very public act- like the coffee thing. And if you knew anything about Stanford biking culture, the layout of campus, and the fact that most athletes know each other at least by face, this would seem so much less “shocking” to you.

Six days later is plenty of time for cooler heads to prevail. I don’t think people would be defending a male athlete throwing hot coffee on a female athlete for some perceived wrongdoing that had been investigated and dropped by two different investigatory agencies.

Yes. Women should just get over a sexual assault in less than a week.

I only saw one investigatory agency. And interesting they felt they could investigate and make a decision on the football player in less than a week, but the soccer player has it drag on for six months

It was reported to the police and Stanford, there were two separate investigations.

Was if reported to the police? I did nor see that anywhere.

Thr complaint fails to mention that but it is in the Stanford statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stanford should be held liable for this. Utterly callous and negligent. Young adults when put in vulnerable positions aren’t in a position to think rationally. Their brains are not fully developed yet.

What’s more shocking is Stanford’s reaction to this. A family lost their daughter forever!

I am amazed at their callous treatment of her - she was a goalie for their women’s soccer team. Where were the coaches? There were no faculty/coaches looped in or supporting her?

Exactly. No one was there for her. I get she was an adult but still she was vulnerable and let Stanford know that in many formats. I am not condoning her actions (assuming it was not an accident). But there was context and also she earned the right to make a mistake. After all she did for the school, she deserved someone there supporting her. I don’t think $10m is enough. [/quote
I’m just curious if posters like you would say the same if the roles were reversed. A man throws coffee on a woman he perceives to have wrong a friend of his, and he injures her in some way. Would you expect the university to provide him with “support” while they investigated his actions?

Yes, I absolutely would. All the students deserve support. And even more so if they were a 4 year role model with stellar record and the “wronging” of friend was sexual in nature. Question for you— why was the boys mother involved but Katie’s parent never brought in? This did not need to escalate in the manner it did and it is the University’s fault. Again, wrong of her but the punitive action of the school was abhorrent.

Katie was allowed to have a support person with her at all the disciplinary meetings but apparently chose not to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many men accused of sexual assault at Stanford received an email threatening to withhold their diploma? I would be shocked if it were any. Certainly if a woman decides not to file a complaint, there is no discipline.

Meanwhile, she spills coffee. He doesn’t file a complaint. And Stanford still goes for the nuclear option. That’s an absurd over reaction. Did they learn nothing from Brock Turner?

I’m so furious. I was part of a similar incident at Dartmouth. The deans tried to push me into the campus disciplinary system and were pissed when I went to the Hanover police and asked to press charges. I was repeatedly asked by an administrator responsible for my access to course registration and on-campus job recruiting to drop the charges because it would be “better” to deal with it on campus. For them.

In the end, I stayed on campus during a break to testify in court. Unfortunately the prosecutor accepted a plea deal the day before. The incident- in which I had done nothing- ultimately affected my recruiting and my life after graduation.

Rest in peace, Katie Meyer. I hate what they did to her and respect her so much- anyone who doesn’t understand the power an institution has over its students in this kind of scenario is ignorant and naive. I wish they hadn’t cornered her like this.

How is this remotely similar? You were the victim, Katie was alleged to be the assailant.

The point is that universities should NOT be allowed to handle these situations.

The real problem is that the original sexual which was reported on campus was ignored by the university, and none of this might have happened if the university had properly addressed the sexual assault! Instead, Stanford, Dartmouth, and a host of other universities have broken extralegal disciplinary processes that do nothing but serve the university and its PR. Imagine if the original assailant had been punished? Instead he’s walking free and a girl who stood up for her friend was dragged into a convoluted, opaque system of punishment.

Adults don’t “stand up for their friends” by committing assault (yes, that’s what it is) and deliberately burning someone with a hot liquid. No. Sorry.

This could only be posted by a man, because I have known multiple adult women in college and grad school who, facing inaction by a university, threw a beer, a plate of dining hall food, trash, etc. at the assailant of their friend. Sometimes the only option left to show in public that friends will stand up for their victimized friend is a petty and stupid but very public act- like the coffee thing. And if you knew anything about Stanford biking culture, the layout of campus, and the fact that most athletes know each other at least by face, this would seem so much less “shocking” to you.

Yes, this is a college or high school girl way of going after a guy who treated your friend like crap, including sexually assaulting her. However, hot coffee is a lot more dangerous than a beer or pizza although there is no mention of severe burns anywhere and if they happened people would know. That said, Stanford screwed this up royally. There is a way to talk to a student about the likely punishment. Stanford was the one that found itself facing the statute of limitations. A drunk driver at my college drunk drove and killed a girl her freshman year, he went to jail for it. And when he got out he was allowed to return to school and finish his degree. His presence traumatized my close friend that was also in the car accident but walked away. He got his degree. The “victim” here didn’t press charges and there is no indication of serious injury. The idea that she could lose her degree over this first offense is ludicrous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many men accused of sexual assault at Stanford received an email threatening to withhold their diploma? I would be shocked if it were any. Certainly if a woman decides not to file a complaint, there is no discipline.

Meanwhile, she spills coffee. He doesn’t file a complaint. And Stanford still goes for the nuclear option. That’s an absurd over reaction. Did they learn nothing from Brock Turner?

I’m so furious. I was part of a similar incident at Dartmouth. The deans tried to push me into the campus disciplinary system and were pissed when I went to the Hanover police and asked to press charges. I was repeatedly asked by an administrator responsible for my access to course registration and on-campus job recruiting to drop the charges because it would be “better” to deal with it on campus. For them.

In the end, I stayed on campus during a break to testify in court. Unfortunately the prosecutor accepted a plea deal the day before. The incident- in which I had done nothing- ultimately affected my recruiting and my life after graduation.

Rest in peace, Katie Meyer. I hate what they did to her and respect her so much- anyone who doesn’t understand the power an institution has over its students in this kind of scenario is ignorant and naive. I wish they hadn’t cornered her like this.

How is this remotely similar? You were the victim, Katie was alleged to be the assailant.

The point is that universities should NOT be allowed to handle these situations.

The real problem is that the original sexual which was reported on campus was ignored by the university, and none of this might have happened if the university had properly addressed the sexual assault! Instead, Stanford, Dartmouth, and a host of other universities have broken extralegal disciplinary processes that do nothing but serve the university and its PR. Imagine if the original assailant had been punished? Instead he’s walking free and a girl who stood up for her friend was dragged into a convoluted, opaque system of punishment.

Adults don’t “stand up for their friends” by committing assault (yes, that’s what it is) and deliberately burning someone with a hot liquid. No. Sorry.

This could only be posted by a man, because I have known multiple adult women in college and grad school who, facing inaction by a university, threw a beer, a plate of dining hall food, trash, etc. at the assailant of their friend. Sometimes the only option left to show in public that friends will stand up for their victimized friend is a petty and stupid but very public act- like the coffee thing. And if you knew anything about Stanford biking culture, the layout of campus, and the fact that most athletes know each other at least by face, this would seem so much less “shocking” to you.

Yes, this is a college or high school girl way of going after a guy who treated your friend like crap, including sexually assaulting her. However, hot coffee is a lot more dangerous than a beer or pizza although there is no mention of severe burns anywhere and if they happened people would know. That said, Stanford screwed this up royally. There is a way to talk to a student about the likely punishment. Stanford was the one that found itself facing the statute of limitations. A drunk driver at my college drunk drove and killed a girl her freshman year, he went to jail for it. And when he got out he was allowed to return to school and finish his degree. His presence traumatized my close friend that was also in the car accident but walked away. He got his degree. The “victim” here didn’t press charges and there is no indication of serious injury. The idea that she could lose her degree over this first offense is ludicrous.

Wait, what? No just no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that this threatened punishment was excessively punitive and should not have been communicated by email given the prior notice the university had of her heightened stress AND suicidal thoughts. I think the university is at fault. Do I think it was an accident, of course not. Should she have admitted it and begged for forgiveness, maybe. But for all she had done for the university, she deserved a slip up. Her mistake just pales in comparison to all the positivity AND the victim was not asking for justice, he wanted the issue dropped. Shame of Stanford for using her as an example. I believe it was bullying. They had so many opportunities to protect her but chose to make an example out of her. If she had been a male football player, it would not have happened.

+1

If you just read the headlines, I can understand why many question the merits of the lawsuit. .

But digging deeper, it's hard not to conclude that Stanford's handling of the case was overly punitive and inconsistent with their handling of other campus disciplinary cases. That contributes to the mental health crisis on campus...the sense that discipline is arbitrary and unfair, and certain groups of students are protected by the university while others face more severe consequences. There's no question she shouldn't have poured coffee on the football player. Yet reading the details of how it was handled, I can't see how anyone can logically conclude that the university's actions and threats were appropriate. College kids aren't known for sound judgment...I get that there are lessons to be learned and responsibility to be taken, but I'm floored that anyone in the administration thought this approach was a sound way to produce those outcomes. Clearly it wasn't.

One can only hope that this tragedy might lead to reform. Sadly, a lawsuit is sometimes what it takes for change to happen.

How can you conclude that when they had not even gotten to the hearing stage and no discipline had yet been imposed? The Last email was the email saying there would be a hearing and informing her of her rights with respect to a hearing. Expulsion was listed as a possible outcome among other punishments.

Each year my HS kid is required to sign a community agreement from their school which basically threatens the same thing, and they haven’t done anything! Why is receiving such a letter so terrible for a college student?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many men accused of sexual assault at Stanford received an email threatening to withhold their diploma? I would be shocked if it were any. Certainly if a woman decides not to file a complaint, there is no discipline.

Meanwhile, she spills coffee. He doesn’t file a complaint. And Stanford still goes for the nuclear option. That’s an absurd over reaction. Did they learn nothing from Brock Turner?

I’m so furious. I was part of a similar incident at Dartmouth. The deans tried to push me into the campus disciplinary system and were pissed when I went to the Hanover police and asked to press charges. I was repeatedly asked by an administrator responsible for my access to course registration and on-campus job recruiting to drop the charges because it would be “better” to deal with it on campus. For them.

In the end, I stayed on campus during a break to testify in court. Unfortunately the prosecutor accepted a plea deal the day before. The incident- in which I had done nothing- ultimately affected my recruiting and my life after graduation.

Rest in peace, Katie Meyer. I hate what they did to her and respect her so much- anyone who doesn’t understand the power an institution has over its students in this kind of scenario is ignorant and naive. I wish they hadn’t cornered her like this.

How is this remotely similar? You were the victim, Katie was alleged to be the assailant.

The point is that universities should NOT be allowed to handle these situations.

The real problem is that the original sexual which was reported on campus was ignored by the university, and none of this might have happened if the university had properly addressed the sexual assault! Instead, Stanford, Dartmouth, and a host of other universities have broken extralegal disciplinary processes that do nothing but serve the university and its PR. Imagine if the original assailant had been punished? Instead he’s walking free and a girl who stood up for her friend was dragged into a convoluted, opaque system of punishment.

Adults don’t “stand up for their friends” by committing assault (yes, that’s what it is) and deliberately burning someone with a hot liquid. No. Sorry.

This could only be posted by a man, because I have known multiple adult women in college and grad school who, facing inaction by a university, threw a beer, a plate of dining hall food, trash, etc. at the assailant of their friend. Sometimes the only option left to show in public that friends will stand up for their victimized friend is a petty and stupid but very public act- like the coffee thing. And if you knew anything about Stanford biking culture, the layout of campus, and the fact that most athletes know each other at least by face, this would seem so much less “shocking” to you.

Yes, this is a college or high school girl way of going after a guy who treated your friend like crap, including sexually assaulting her. However, hot coffee is a lot more dangerous than a beer or pizza although there is no mention of severe burns anywhere and if they happened people would know. That said, Stanford screwed this up royally. There is a way to talk to a student about the likely punishment. Stanford was the one that found itself facing the statute of limitations. A drunk driver at my college drunk drove and killed a girl her freshman year, he went to jail for it. And when he got out he was allowed to return to school and finish his degree. His presence traumatized my close friend that was also in the car accident but walked away. He got his degree. The “victim” here didn’t press charges and there is no indication of serious injury. The idea that she could lose her degree over this first offense is ludicrous.

Wait, what? No just no.

You don’t know just back off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many men accused of sexual assault at Stanford received an email threatening to withhold their diploma? I would be shocked if it were any. Certainly if a woman decides not to file a complaint, there is no discipline.

Meanwhile, she spills coffee. He doesn’t file a complaint. And Stanford still goes for the nuclear option. That’s an absurd over reaction. Did they learn nothing from Brock Turner?

I’m so furious. I was part of a similar incident at Dartmouth. The deans tried to push me into the campus disciplinary system and were pissed when I went to the Hanover police and asked to press charges. I was repeatedly asked by an administrator responsible for my access to course registration and on-campus job recruiting to drop the charges because it would be “better” to deal with it on campus. For them.

In the end, I stayed on campus during a break to testify in court. Unfortunately the prosecutor accepted a plea deal the day before. The incident- in which I had done nothing- ultimately affected my recruiting and my life after graduation.

Rest in peace, Katie Meyer. I hate what they did to her and respect her so much- anyone who doesn’t understand the power an institution has over its students in this kind of scenario is ignorant and naive. I wish they hadn’t cornered her like this.

How is this remotely similar? You were the victim, Katie was alleged to be the assailant.

The point is that universities should NOT be allowed to handle these situations.

The real problem is that the original sexual which was reported on campus was ignored by the university, and none of this might have happened if the university had properly addressed the sexual assault! Instead, Stanford, Dartmouth, and a host of other universities have broken extralegal disciplinary processes that do nothing but serve the university and its PR. Imagine if the original assailant had been punished? Instead he’s walking free and a girl who stood up for her friend was dragged into a convoluted, opaque system of punishment.

Adults don’t “stand up for their friends” by committing assault (yes, that’s what it is) and deliberately burning someone with a hot liquid. No. Sorry.

This could only be posted by a man, because I have known multiple adult women in college and grad school who, facing inaction by a university, threw a beer, a plate of dining hall food, trash, etc. at the assailant of their friend. Sometimes the only option left to show in public that friends will stand up for their victimized friend is a petty and stupid but very public act- like the coffee thing. And if you knew anything about Stanford biking culture, the layout of campus, and the fact that most athletes know each other at least by face, this would seem so much less “shocking” to you.

Yes, this is a college or high school girl way of going after a guy who treated your friend like crap, including sexually assaulting her. However, hot coffee is a lot more dangerous than a beer or pizza although there is no mention of severe burns anywhere and if they happened people would know. That said, Stanford screwed this up royally. There is a way to talk to a student about the likely punishment. Stanford was the one that found itself facing the statute of limitations. A drunk driver at my college drunk drove and killed a girl her freshman year, he went to jail for it. And when he got out he was allowed to return to school and finish his degree. His presence traumatized my close friend that was also in the car accident but walked away. He got his degree. The “victim” here didn’t press charges and there is no indication of serious injury. The idea that she could lose her degree over this first offense is ludicrous.

Wait, what? No just no.

You don’t know just back off

Sexual assault is wrong but acting out because of someone else’s or even your own trauma doesn’t solve trauma it only creates more.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the parents 100%. The way Stanford behaved is akin to the high school secretaries. Guilty before any investigation. Threating letters.
Please for the love --- stop defending football players !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!