SIL wants us to write her girls letters at camp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sheesh, you could have scrawled a few lines and handed it to your husband to do the same and post in the amount of time it took you to write this.

Time equivalents aren't the issue.

NP. Why, then?

Exactly, this doesn’t make sense.

Really? You determine what you do by how much time it will take you to do it? I wouldn't do this because it strengthens the perception that I, a woman, am responsible for managing my DH's relationships with his family. It would send the message that I accept that this is a woman's responsibility - that I could be guilted into doing something. If I do this once, I'll be expected to do it again the next time this kid or other nieces/nephews go to camp. If it was something that I wanted to do, that would be different. OP doesn't want to do it and she shouldn't be judged for not doing it.

What? Quickly dashing off a line then handing it over to DH to complete and mail is assuming all the emotional labor for his family? lmao.

Bless your heart. What makes you think OP's DH would complete the card and mail it? If he can be counted on to do that, OP wouldn't have to do anything at all.

At that point, it's not her problem anymore. But she would have done her part, in less time than the original post took.

It was never OP's problem to begin with. Time isn't the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

That phrasing was not a command, and it’s somewhat petty of you not to mail a postcard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

That phrasing was not a command, and it’s somewhat petty of you not to mail a postcard.

DH was on the same email. I guess he's petty too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

That phrasing was not a command, and it’s somewhat petty of you not to mail a postcard.

DH was on the same email. I guess he's petty too.

Ungenerous is the word I’d use. They’re children, and family ffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

That phrasing was not a command, and it’s somewhat petty of you not to mail a postcard.

I completely agree. If you're offended by that, OP, then you must be a very unhappy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

That phrasing was not a command, and it’s somewhat petty of you not to mail a postcard.

That phrasing was a little too direct for my tastes. Sorry. Lucy and Lily's camp experience will have to be special BECAUSE THEY WENT TO CAMP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

That phrasing was not a command, and it’s somewhat petty of you not to mail a postcard.

I completely agree. If you're offended by that, OP, then you must be a very unhappy person.

Never said I was offended. Just a busy tired mom like everyone else and was irritated that I know SIL presumes I will do this for her brother. She KNOWS he isn’t going to. Why do women create more work for other women? That’s all. On principle I’m not going to. I think my nieces will be just fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

Controlling and entitled. Probably a narcissist. I’d have nothing to do with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

That phrasing was not a command, and it’s somewhat petty of you not to mail a postcard.

DH was on the same email. I guess he's petty too.

Ungenerous is the word I’d use. They’re children, and family ffs.

Who cares. They have their own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't wait until it's Mother's Day and we have to hear all the posts about the difficulty of ordering flowers (less than 5 minutes) for your husband's mother, the woman your children call grandma.

And yet it is every bit as difficult (hint: not at all) for her son to take five minutes to order flowers for his mother, since this activity is in no way inhibited by having a penis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez I’m so glad we don’t have any nieces or nephews lol

I know 2 minutes of effort is SUCH A BOTHER.

It’s not though. First, you gave up go buy some stationary or postcards. Stamps. Track down the address for camp. Think if something to say that doesn’t sound completely inane.

I’d have a different opinion if OP’s SIL was asking for email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to? No. But why wouldn’t you? It will take a few minutes and put a huge smile on your niece’s face.

NP

It's not OP's niece. It's her husband's niece. Not her responsibility.

I find this attitude sad really. When you marry you don't just marry the one person but, you are supposed to join two families. What if you celebrated Christmas together and this same niece didn't get you a present because op isn't blood family. I bet everyone here would be up in arms!

If you only care about your 'blood' relatives feel free to ignore but, when a simple act would bring joy and love I don't know why you wouldn't.

My marriage vows indicated my DH and I would be the ones joining, not our families. If it were the joining of our two families, I wouldn't have gotten married.

HAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez I’m so glad we don’t have any nieces or nephews lol

I know 2 minutes of effort is SUCH A BOTHER.

It’s not though. First, you gave up go buy some stationary or postcards. Stamps. Track down the address for camp. Think if something to say that doesn’t sound completely inane.

I’d have a different opinion if OP’s SIL was asking for email.

SHE ALREADY GAVE THEM THE ADDRESS FOR CAMP. You don’t already own a single stamp? If you’re that lazy, don’t “go buy some stationary or postcards.” Use a blank card you already have (you do already have those, right? Because you’re a adult with manners) or, failing that, use a damn piece of printer paper.

Excuses, excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

But I wonder if OP could share the language of the email from SIL.

"Here's Larla's address at camp this summer in case anyone is interested"

is way different than:

"Please send Larla mail once a week so she doesn't get homesick"

OP here. It was:

“Lucy and Lilly will be at camp X date to Y date. Please be sure to make camp extra special for them by writing them at this ADDRESS.”

It was not phrased as a request or “if you want to.”

I can see I’m in the minority but I’m okay with that. My relationship with them is fine, I don’t need to be their BFF. We all live locally and see each other plenty.

Controlling and entitled. Probably a narcissist. I’d have nothing to do with her.

Oh give me a break.