The divide gets bigger as you get older...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is true. Early start is key. Focus on careers that help you establish yourself and are the best /most profitable match for your skill set.

We both went to a top 15 school - met after college through friends - big law/finance dual income in 20s and 30s. By mid 40s, we are senior in our respective careers with hhi of $4-7m per year.
Money is a non issue in our life.
Time is a more valuable commodity.

This is so much money, but it doesn’t set off any jealousy in me at all. We earn 250k, split right down the middle between DH and myself, and we have ample time. With our kids, with each other, with friends, with our aging parents. We own our house, have short commutes, will be able to retire and never live in poverty. Why do people contort their lives for vast amounts of money and then sacrifice the things that make life good?

DP. Because they are likely more professionally ambitious than you.. It’s like the kid that wanted an A in every class (and put in the time to do it) vs the kid who was fine with a B (and more free time). Different strokes for different folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is true. Early start is key. Focus on careers that help you establish yourself and are the best /most profitable match for your skill set.

We both went to a top 15 school - met after college through friends - big law/finance dual income in 20s and 30s. By mid 40s, we are senior in our respective careers with hhi of $4-7m per year.
Money is a non issue in our life.
Time is a more valuable commodity.

This is so much money, but it doesn’t set off any jealousy in me at all. We earn 250k, split right down the middle between DH and myself, and we have ample time. With our kids, with each other, with friends, with our aging parents. We own our house, have short commutes, will be able to retire and never live in poverty. Why do people contort their lives for vast amounts of money and then sacrifice the things that make life good?

DP. Because they are likely more professionally ambitious than you.. It’s like the kid that wanted an A in every class (and put in the time to do it) vs the kid who was fine with a B (and more free time). Different strokes for different folks.

This would follow if ambition and professional achievement were tied directly to financial gain. But the most respected, successful journalists, educators, scientists will not be earning as much as the middle band of people in finance or corporate law or whatever. You can take your career very seriously and never see that reflected in your income. Unless by “professionally ambitious” you mean “motivated by money.”

[Anonymous]

After about age 55 or so you start to care a lot less about whether you have had an “interesting” career and a lot more about whether you have enough money to retire in the next 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is true. Early start is key. Focus on careers that help you establish yourself and are the best /most profitable match for your skill set.

We both went to a top 15 school - met after college through friends - big law/finance dual income in 20s and 30s. By mid 40s, we are senior in our respective careers with hhi of $4-7m per year.
Money is a non issue in our life.
Time is a more valuable commodity.

This is so much money, but it doesn’t set off any jealousy in me at all. We earn 250k, split right down the middle between DH and myself, and we have ample time. With our kids, with each other, with friends, with our aging parents. We own our house, have short commutes, will be able to retire and never live in poverty. Why do people contort their lives for vast amounts of money and then sacrifice the things that make life good?

DP. Because they are likely more professionally ambitious than you.. It’s like the kid that wanted an A in every class (and put in the time to do it) vs the kid who was fine with a B (and more free time). Different strokes for different folks.

This would follow if ambition and professional achievement were tied directly to financial gain. But the most respected, successful journalists, educators, scientists will not be earning as much as the middle band of people in finance or corporate law or whatever. You can take your career very seriously and never see that reflected in your income. Unless by “professionally ambitious” you mean “motivated by money.”

I was responding to the common (and IMO misguided) DCUM trope that high earners don’t have loving marriages, great relationships with their kids, and happy homes. That’s simply untrue. And yes, there are absolutely professions where folks work very hard and don’t make much money. But when’s the last time someone gossiped here about a teacher having a bad marriage due to their long hours? Now often is that comment made about say, a private equity partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

That's exactly what I thought at 25, but I didn't realize how much of a difference income makes on every area of your life. Where you can live, where your kids go to school, when or if you can ever retire, if you can travel, if you can afford certain types of healthcare, how you live, the security you feel, the security you can offer your family (parents or children), etc.

It never ends.

So true. When you're on the outside looking in it matters a lot. I started out in nonprofits after college barely making $30K and now, one grad degree and nearly 12 years later, I work in tech and make $250K...My husband makes $350K and he also started out making around $30K. It matters.

[Anonymous]

Since this is the money and finance forum, I’m surprised no one has commented (unless someone has and I missed it) on the fact that it’s not just income, but how you manage that income, along with family gifts, if any. Some of the “compounding” effect arises from people making good investments, living below their means, or just generally making good (or lucky) financial decisions (such as buying a home at a good time). Income is not absolute.

[Anonymous]

To me the biggest divide is location. My core friends live within 2 miles of me in Bethesda whereas some of my really good friends live in NoVa, further out, etc.

It’s hard to see them as regularly given how ours kids activities are central to Bethesda. As much as alexandria, Rockville, ashburn, etc are fun to go to, it’s really tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After about age 55 or so you start to care a lot less about whether you have had an “interesting” career and a lot more about whether you have enough money to retire in the next 10 years.

So this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

That's exactly what I thought at 25, but I didn't realize how much of a difference income makes on every area of your life. Where you can live, where your kids go to school, when or if you can ever retire, if you can travel, if you can afford certain types of healthcare, how you live, the security you feel, the security you can offer your family (parents or children), etc.

It never ends.

Well..did you think the $$$ grew on trees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

That's exactly what I thought at 25, but I didn't realize how much of a difference income makes on every area of your life. Where you can live, where your kids go to school, when or if you can ever retire, if you can travel, if you can afford certain types of healthcare, how you live, the security you feel, the security you can offer your family (parents or children), etc.

It never ends.

So true. When you're on the outside looking in it matters a lot. I started out in nonprofits after college barely making $30K and now, one grad degree and nearly 12 years later, I work in tech and make $250K...My husband makes $350K and he also started out making around $30K. It matters.

It’s also true that while some people push the idea of “don’t go to college, learn a trade instead,” the tradesperson tends to top out a lot lower as their career goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ehhh...

My DH and I both have midlevel jobs in our early 40s. I could stay where I am happily for the rest of my life. There is only one "one up" for my career, where I'd be the director of my dept, or maybe a "two up" where I'd be the director of my dept for multiple sites, but otherwise, that's it. I have NO desire to move into that role. I otherwise do my midlevel job well, like my boss, have great job flexibility, reasonable hours, and fair pay.

DH has a midlevel job, just below a senior role. He does his job well, is happy where he is, but has NO desire to be promoted. I think it's inevitable for him as he does his job extremely well, but also know he'd be perfectly happy to not take on that stress (stress is already enough of a problem for him in his current role).

Quality of life is a big thing for us. we have two kids, we both struggle with anxiety. As long as we can live very comfortably in our current salaries, that's fine.

We both can easily look at friends who are moving to senior roles in very successful and lucrative careers - but see their quality of life struggles - in some cases, affecting marriages, happiness, etc. - and say, "no thanks".

Underachievers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our 20s, my peer group consisted of non-profits, consultants, law school students, first and second-year lawyers, and a few engineers. The differences between us didn't seem huge, we went to bars, lived in apartments and group houses, dated, went on lame vacations with our parents or not at all... you all know that life. Were all basically kind of the same poor"ish". A few of my friends threw down lots of money shopping, or had slightly nicer apartments, but the financial differences between us all seemed minimal.

But I'm 45 now, and the discrepancies between those who chose high-paying careers and those who didn't seem huge. The differences in earnings just compounded over time. If I had been able to fully internalize and visualize the difference between a for-profit and non-profit career.

It’s ok, they’re working in soul killing corporate jobs. Im like you but not jealous. Love that i chose a do gooder career and my spouse too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ehhh...

My DH and I both have midlevel jobs in our early 40s. I could stay where I am happily for the rest of my life. There is only one "one up" for my career, where I'd be the director of my dept, or maybe a "two up" where I'd be the director of my dept for multiple sites, but otherwise, that's it. I have NO desire to move into that role. I otherwise do my midlevel job well, like my boss, have great job flexibility, reasonable hours, and fair pay.

DH has a midlevel job, just below a senior role. He does his job well, is happy where he is, but has NO desire to be promoted. I think it's inevitable for him as he does his job extremely well, but also know he'd be perfectly happy to not take on that stress (stress is already enough of a problem for him in his current role).

Quality of life is a big thing for us. we have two kids, we both struggle with anxiety. As long as we can live very comfortably in our current salaries, that's fine.

We both can easily look at friends who are moving to senior roles in very successful and lucrative careers - but see their quality of life struggles - in some cases, affecting marriages, happiness, etc. - and say, "no thanks".

Underachievers.

Yes and happy and satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After about age 55 or so you start to care a lot less about whether you have had an “interesting” career and a lot more about whether you have enough money to retire in the next 10 years.

I’d say 40-45. At that age, most are aware that there ain’t no more climbing that ladder. If there is, not worth the stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After about age 55 or so you start to care a lot less about whether you have had an “interesting” career and a lot more about whether you have enough money to retire in the next 10 years.

So this!

Well, I'm glad I've had an interesting career and that I didn't get caught up into lifestyle inflation that I see in my wealthier friends. If you save and invest 15% of your income throughout your career, you'll usually have more than plenty for retirement. I don't need as much money to retire as they do because I don't enjoy spending as much. I think in the end you care most what you did with your time, what experiences you've had and the quality of your relationships.