I am Russian, she is Ukrainian, we were friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve cut off the two Russians I was friendly with.


This is personal. Every single Russian needs to punished for this, not just Putin and the oligarchs.

I am Russian and I see this a lot from my friends’ friends or on social media.
Luckily I knew this was the trend since 2014 and never had close friends from Ukraine - just a sort of self preservation I guess?
I never supported Putin but I also couldn’t get behind many things the Ukrainian government said or did. So I knew I would be blamed if anything.
And now it is happening.
I express my condolences and support and then I let them decide. I also block those who “blame all Russians” or at least unfriend them.

Enjoy social isolation in the US and Europe, because that is absolutely where we are headed.

It’s only from Ukrainians that I see this. And they are a tiny fraction of my fb friends. The rest absolutely understand that I have nothing to do with the atrocities. My family is a victim of them too, just in a different way. And of course it doesn’t compare to what Ukrainians go through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve cut off the two Russians I was friendly with.


This is personal. Every single Russian needs to punished for this, not just Putin and the oligarchs.

Did they do anything at all to deserve that? Jeez.

I’m half Russian/half Ukrainian — what would you do with me?

The fact that you still choose to identify as half Russian tells me you’re not worth the time.

Excuse me, what? It’s not a choice — half my family is from St. Petersburg. Am I supposed to pretend that half of my family doesn’t exist?

This is typical Ukrainian level of expectation.
They want you to go and kill Putin or at least go to a protest and get jailed for 15 years while also denouncing your Russian-ness. Or it doesn’t count!
See how they behave at any council or assembly when they request, no, demand to be accepted into NATO or EU. It’s the same stuff.

How dare they demand to be let into NATO or join the EU...let's invade and fire mortar rockets at their children.

what Putin did is horrible.
But no, you don’t get to blame all Russians.
That’s all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve cut off the two Russians I was friendly with.


This is personal. Every single Russian needs to punished for this, not just Putin and the oligarchs.

Even the protestors need to be punished? Are you for real?

Every. Single. Russian.


There. Here. Everywhere.



Is that unambiguous enough?

I just wanted to point out that this is not an uncommon position for Ukrainian posters on social media. I see this, my friends see this.

[Anonymous]

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jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Are you clearly opposed to the war? One thing we have encountered with Russian friends is that they take an equivocal position regarding the war in which they place some blame on the Ukrainians (or NATO, etc). I can imagine Ukrainians not having a lot of patience with both-sidesing the war right now.

I place absolutely no blame on the Ukrainians. This is their land that is being raped. I do not support Russian position and if anything, I have called for a no fly zone over Ukraine.

It is not enough as a Russian to “call for” something and say you are opposed. What concretely are you doing? you and your family, including your kids? Are you raising money? Are you attending protests? Are you writing your rep and asking for support for a no fly zone? Have you asked how you can support, concretely, your friends family? Do they have relatives still in Ukraine? What concrete help have you offered to get them out or provide them with supies or contacts?

If you are just talk and no action, your friend sees that as a betrayal.

We are raising money for medicine, we volunteer at Ukrainian churches, we brought supplies, we go to protests. We call our senators and congressmen. We constantly share information about jobs and housing for displaced people; we actually have relatives in France and in Denmark who offered to take people in. My friend actually has no family left in Ukraine, everyone is in the US.

Are you doing all this stuff because you believe in it, or so you can win the friendship of your Ukranian aqcuaintance? Because if it's the former, then it ahould not matter whether she chooses to communicate with you or not. But it's for the latter, then she'll rigjtfully view you with suspicion that you might be a spy.

LOL as you can see one just can’t win with Ukrainians.
That’s why I have done my share of protesting and donating and not seeking any approval from any Ukrainian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

As a Russian I started distancing myself from Ukrainians after 2014 because I felt.. shame. I knew I wasn’t going to protest because my parents are still back in Russia. But I also didn’t want to be treated as an accomplice.
So I get it, and I think it’s best to distance.
I think many Ukrainians will never be able to not hate any Russian they meet. It’s similar to Armenians and Azerbaijanis or Turks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

Sorry but my priority is to be able to see my parents and it may be impossible if I become a persona non grata in the country they are in.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:^they aren't really delusional. Deep down they know. They just want to ignore it, keep their heads in the ground and hope that the problem "goes away", and they can get their McDs again soon. Not too dissimilar to the Germans who ignored the atrocities committed against their Jewish neighbors.

And how many Russians do you know?

What do you think of the embedded Ostland tweet that you skipped past? How many threads do you need to accept that this appears to be a “special operation” supported by more than an insignificant portion of the Russian population? The negative perception of Russians is killing you but how are you so naive to effectively insist it comes from nowhere and that only professors of the former Soviet bloc or who speak Russian can comment? You do you, I guess.

I never said any of that. I just asked you a question.

I am a different poster, and I had 4 who I considered friends (not counting casual friends or aquaintances) - going back over 30 years who live outside of russia. How many of them do you think reached out to me since February 24 to ask how my family in Ukraine are? How many posted a single “no war” post on their social media?

Answer: none.

I had non-russian descent colleagues reach out, some even that I didn’t work that long with, parents of my kids classmates, neighbors. My good russian descent friends? Total and complete silence.

They are ashamed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be surprised to see green cards pulled fro Russians.

I know you would love that but no, it’s not happening. Because we are in the US, a true democracy, unlike some wannabe democracies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve cut off the two Russians I was friendly with.


This is personal. Every single Russian needs to punished for this, not just Putin and the oligarchs.

That's ridiculous. Are you okay with being punished for all of the rotten things the US has done over the years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be surprised to see green cards pulled fro Russians.

I know you would love that but no, it’s not happening. Because we are in the US, a true democracy, unlike some wannabe democracies

Right. That would be like Japanese internment camps. I can’t believe anyone would think that’s ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

I don't know if it's just you or if there are multiple people posting this nonsense, but it's so childish and privileged. All over the world, individuals manage to maintain friendly relationships with each other despite being from countries at war. And yet here are a bunch of Americans who have no idea what war is like taking these absurd black and white positions. You probably didn't even know the difference between Russia and Ukraine a month ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

How do you know they identify more with Russia than the US? Also, how are Russians who don’t live in Russia supposed to make resistance to Putin their #1 priority for the rest of Putin’s life, which could be another 20 years?

The answer to the first question is - I make my best judgment. Not perfect. Not fair. But again, that's the situation we are in.

To answer the second question - vocal, unequivocal, constant condemnation of Putin. Reach out to family members in Russia and try to send them facts. Raise money to support Ukraine. Renounce Russian citizenship and claim asylum in the US. And do it all very publicly. That may be too much "real talk" for you but that's the situation. If you don't realize it yet, you will soon. My opinion is shared by most of the family and friends I've spoken with the last week.

The situation we’re in is that we all should be judging whether Russian-Americans are loyal to Russia or the US?

They need to publicly renounce Russian citizenship? What if they need it in order to visit sick family members in Russia? It is not easy to get a visa to is it Russia.

And please don’t lecture me on what’s real or not. I am Russian and Ukrainian. I know this situation all too well — unlike you, who have decided to insert yourself into this situation.

Ask yourself, with the benefit of hindsight: if you were a German in Hitler's Germany when war broke out, what should you have done? Because it's the same story starting all over again. Putin is an existential threat to every life on the planet.

You’re not engaging with what I’m saying at all.

I am, you just don't want to hear it.

I'm saying that the Russian people bear responsibility for Putin. Not guilt, but responsibility. The #1 priority of every Russian on planet Earth should be the elimination of Putin and the restoration of their country. Maybe after he carpet bombs Kyiv or drops a couple tactical nukes in western Ukraine you will wake up.

I have the utmost respect for Russians engaged in active resistance to the regime. They are heroes. Russians supporting the regime are modern day Nazis and SS. Russians shrugging their shoulders and saying "war is bad" with half-hearted outrage are the "good germans" who ignored the Nazi death camps burning the bodies of jews a few km away from their towns.

As a Jew, I'm getting pretty tired of people using the Holocaust as an example. You don't care about Jews. You care about winning some argument on the Internet.
And no, I actually don't blame ordinary Germans for the Holocaust. You clearly have no concept of what life is like outside of your safe American bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

How do you know they identify more with Russia than the US? Also, how are Russians who don’t live in Russia supposed to make resistance to Putin their #1 priority for the rest of Putin’s life, which could be another 20 years?

The answer to the first question is - I make my best judgment. Not perfect. Not fair. But again, that's the situation we are in.

To answer the second question - vocal, unequivocal, constant condemnation of Putin. Reach out to family members in Russia and try to send them facts. Raise money to support Ukraine. Renounce Russian citizenship and claim asylum in the US. And do it all very publicly. That may be too much "real talk" for you but that's the situation. If you don't realize it yet, you will soon. My opinion is shared by most of the family and friends I've spoken with the last week.

The situation we’re in is that we all should be judging whether Russian-Americans are loyal to Russia or the US?

They need to publicly renounce Russian citizenship? What if they need it in order to visit sick family members in Russia? It is not easy to get a visa to is it Russia.

And please don’t lecture me on what’s real or not. I am Russian and Ukrainian. I know this situation all too well — unlike you, who have decided to insert yourself into this situation.

Ask yourself, with the benefit of hindsight: if you were a German in Hitler's Germany when war broke out, what should you have done? Because it's the same story starting all over again. Putin is an existential threat to every life on the planet.

You’re not engaging with what I’m saying at all.

I am, you just don't want to hear it.

I'm saying that the Russian people bear responsibility for Putin. Not guilt, but responsibility. The #1 priority of every Russian on planet Earth should be the elimination of Putin and the restoration of their country. Maybe after he carpet bombs Kyiv or drops a couple tactical nukes in western Ukraine you will wake up.

I have the utmost respect for Russians engaged in active resistance to the regime. They are heroes. Russians supporting the regime are modern day Nazis and SS. Russians shrugging their shoulders and saying "war is bad" with half-hearted outrage are the "good germans" who ignored the Nazi death camps burning the bodies of jews a few km away from their towns.

As a Jew, I'm getting pretty tired of people using the Holocaust as an example. You don't care about Jews. You care about winning some argument on the Internet.
And no, I actually don't blame ordinary Germans for the Holocaust. You clearly have no concept of what life is like outside of your safe American bubble.

Thank you.

- A Russian-Ukrainian Jew with Japanese heritage as well (including four great uncles in internment camps who went on to fight in the 442nd), who is so tired of people misunderstanding my countries and exploiting my family’s pain to win stupid points on the internet

[Anonymous]

OP, I think if you were as really outwardly opposed to Putin as you claim, your Ukrainian former friend would not be shunning you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be surprised to see green cards pulled fro Russians.

I know you would love that but no, it’s not happening. Because we are in the US, a true democracy, unlike some wannabe democracies

Right. That would be like Japanese internment camps. I can’t believe anyone would think that’s ok.

It’s many Ukrainians’ dream - as we can see illustrated by the poster above who wants to punish ALL Russians (babies too?)