Thanksgiving 2021 Grievances Thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

I am white and I didn’t try to understand, I just added it to the list of hot topics to avoid in any conversation. Why would people even discuss sauce brands?!

How do you get through life with such lack of curiosity or interest in understanding.

I am not going to argue with the POC pp because I understand why it’s offensive to her. Just letting her know that for many people the stereotype she thinks is being perpetuated does not even register.

Some things are so absurd they needn’t be questioned. We should be aware of them though to avoid being labeled racist or canceled altogether. I have other things to be curious about

[Anonymous]

My 11-year-old son vomited on my mother-in-law's lap during dessert -- just completely, unexpectedly projectile vomited. Needless to say, dinner ended promptly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

…Psst, hey dummy, the Italian “mama” stereotype is pretty insulting, too.

-White woman

It’s insulting to ignorant white progressives living in a bubble.

This “dummy” is married into an Italian family. Being a fantastic cook is a great source of pride. Everyone has a Nona, mama, papa, zio who is a great cook, some of the recipes are legendary.

Show me the opportunities for immigrant Italian in this country in the 1800s/early-to-mid 1900s to be anything other than that as a source of autonomy, pride, or independence. Oh none? There we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We helped our host in the kitchen and noticed one ingredient in a dish looked spoiled. They insisted it wasn’t. We both have upset stomachs today.

Why did you eat it? I would have skipped that dish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

OMG

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to show my kid the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving movie but it only aired for one night on PBS for free and WETA didn’t air it (nor did they air the Charlie Brown Halloween like the
Other PBS stations). So now I have to sign up for another DUMB streaming service - Apple TV - to watch the blasted program and then remember to cancel it because paying for cable, Amazon, Hulu, HBO, and Disney Plus doesn’t get you the only stupid thing you want to watch!

You should cancel cable! We cute the cord years ago and I don't miss it at all.
We also don't have a land line

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just…being at my ILs. Loud-ass clocks everywhere. FIL was put out because he had to stop the cuckoo clocks, because they keep DH and I up and they wake our kids. He resets them every morning and pouts when we ask him to turn them off at night. Like, maybe just turn them off when we arrive and turn them back on when we leave. It’s not like you don’t also have a wristwatch, digital clocks on the TV display, oven, microwave, etc., not to mention your phone.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, truly, but I have to say I kinda love it. So charming in a Christmas Vacation kind of way.

I wouldn’t mind if he just set them and turned them off. It’s the burdened sighs and commentary. Like, no one likes your cuckoo clocks at night, you have like 12 of them, this happens every damn visit, it’s time to GET OVER IT.

Please tell me they are at least synced up. Can you imagine if some of them were like 2-3 minutes behind.

[Anonymous]

I realized that my brother and SIL cut me off from seeing their social media. Everyone kept asking about their vacation and other things that they had posted pics of on Instagram but I had not seen any posts or stories. I said I must have missed seeing the pics and a younger cousin said that stories disappear after 24 hours. I already knew this and saw my brother looking very uncomfortable. I asked my husband privately if he had seen anything from them recently and he had not. I don’t know why they would hide their pictures from us, but it was very hurtful to realize that is what they did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realized that my brother and SIL cut me off from seeing their social media. Everyone kept asking about their vacation and other things that they had posted pics of on Instagram but I had not seen any posts or stories. I said I must have missed seeing the pics and a younger cousin said that stories disappear after 24 hours. I already knew this and saw my brother looking very uncomfortable. I asked my husband privately if he had seen anything from them recently and he had not. I don’t know why they would hide their pictures from us, but it was very hurtful to realize that is what they did.

Are you—or they—anti-vaxxer, Fox News types, etc.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realized that my brother and SIL cut me off from seeing their social media. Everyone kept asking about their vacation and other things that they had posted pics of on Instagram but I had not seen any posts or stories. I said I must have missed seeing the pics and a younger cousin said that stories disappear after 24 hours. I already knew this and saw my brother looking very uncomfortable. I asked my husband privately if he had seen anything from them recently and he had not. I don’t know why they would hide their pictures from us, but it was very hurtful to realize that is what they did.

It's pretty clear there must be a reason. Are you judgmental in some way or making negative comments? They are traveling and you are not, could it be because you have different ideas about what's safe or not? This can't be a giant mystery.

[Anonymous]

I just lost major points in the eyes of MIL but got cheers from everyone else.

We ate breakfast at 8–a normal-sized breakfast of muffins, hard-boiled eggs and bananas.

Kids asked me about lunch, and MIL said we’re not having lunch, she’s serving Thanksgiving leftovers at 3.

I said we’re not eating like that two days in a row; would she prefer that I take my kids out to lunch and/or dinner. She’s pouting and everyone else roundly cheered and backed me up, including DH and FIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realized that my brother and SIL cut me off from seeing their social media. Everyone kept asking about their vacation and other things that they had posted pics of on Instagram but I had not seen any posts or stories. I said I must have missed seeing the pics and a younger cousin said that stories disappear after 24 hours. I already knew this and saw my brother looking very uncomfortable. I asked my husband privately if he had seen anything from them recently and he had not. I don’t know why they would hide their pictures from us, but it was very hurtful to realize that is what they did.

Are you—or they—anti-vaxxer, Fox News types, etc.?

No, we are all vaccinated, boosted, careful but traveling. Agree politically on most things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realized that my brother and SIL cut me off from seeing their social media. Everyone kept asking about their vacation and other things that they had posted pics of on Instagram but I had not seen any posts or stories. I said I must have missed seeing the pics and a younger cousin said that stories disappear after 24 hours. I already knew this and saw my brother looking very uncomfortable. I asked my husband privately if he had seen anything from them recently and he had not. I don’t know why they would hide their pictures from us, but it was very hurtful to realize that is what they did.

It's pretty clear there must be a reason. Are you judgmental in some way or making negative comments? They are traveling and you are not, could it be because you have different ideas about what's safe or not? This can't be a giant mystery.

It might be that they didn’t want to invite us, but we were definitely going to find out if they posted so all other family could see. I agree that they had a reason, I just wish I knew what it was. I do not think it’s related to Covid. They are not private or sharing with close friends only. I went through a lot of trouble to make SIL’s favorite dessert and feel like blocking me and my husband is such a slap in the face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 11-year-old son vomited on my mother-in-law's lap during dessert -- just completely, unexpectedly projectile vomited. Needless to say, dinner ended promptly.

This is my worst nightmare at an event with kids!! Does anyone else feel ill today?

[Anonymous]

We still need to know where Aunt Carol was going. Why did she blow you off this year?