Thanksgiving 2021 Grievances Thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh yeah and I can’t quite say that dinner with ex is a pleasant experience. But I feel like a good mom so there’s that

You are a good mom and you’re making a nice holiday for your son.

Thank you so much! The kid was sitting there somewhat bedazzled we asked him if he wanted to stay at dad’s or go home with me, he was shy about it and
Chose dad’s when I told him it’s ok to pick what he wants
I am grateful my ex is fairly reasonable…

[Anonymous]

My mom has always had a tendency to look for offense and take everything personally but she is in high gear this year. We are spending the holiday with me (single), my SIL and toddler nephew (my brother is deployed), and my mom is already offended that we didn’t come to her. Even though I have limited time off and SIL has a freaking toddler and my mom is retired. She is now constantly disappointed that toddler doesn’t like her best, but also freaks out and complains any time he is too loud, or wild, or tries to touch her with sticky hands (and he’s a toddler so sticky hands occur during 75% of waking hours). Tonight after dinner he was trying to show her a toy the dog had chewed so it was smelly and ragged and she yelled at him to get it away from her, then cried after my SIL scooped him up to play in another room because “I didn’t mean I want him to go away!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom has always had a tendency to look for offense and take everything personally but she is in high gear this year. We are spending the holiday with me (single), my SIL and toddler nephew (my brother is deployed), and my mom is already offended that we didn’t come to her. Even though I have limited time off and SIL has a freaking toddler and my mom is retired. She is now constantly disappointed that toddler doesn’t like her best, but also freaks out and complains any time he is too loud, or wild, or tries to touch her with sticky hands (and he’s a toddler so sticky hands occur during 75% of waking hours). Tonight after dinner he was trying to show her a toy the dog had chewed so it was smelly and ragged and she yelled at him to get it away from her, then cried after my SIL scooped him up to play in another room because “I didn’t mean I want him to go away!”

She sounds exhausting. Is this what Christmas (if you celebrate it) will be like too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going through a divorce and one of the things we’re fighting over is the parenting plan, so nothing has been signed yet. As per the custody schedule we’ve been following, I have DC Thanksgiving Day and xH has her Friday-Tuesday. I had asked xH if I could have DC an additional day (Friday) because some friends were in town and he said absolutely not, his parents were visiting for thanksgiving and to see DC, and had already bought their plane tickets. So I dropped it and didn’t push for the extra day.

Found out yesterday that xH’s parents aren’t coming and never got tickets. I asked if I could have a couple extra hours on Friday morning because DC wanted to sleep in and get breakfast. xH again said absolutely not and expects me to be at the custody exchange site promptly at 8am. Not because they have plans, but just to stick it to me.

On the bright side, whenever he pulls crap like this I’m extra grateful that I left him. He’s a spiteful, controlling person and this thanksgiving I’m thankful I don’t have to live with his miserable @$$ anymore.

I hate that he wants to stick it to you more than he wants to let your dd sleep in or see the friends who are in town. I hope the final parenting plan is whatever is best for your dd, and I hope your Christmas is drama free.

Thank you Unfortunately there will likely be more drama. He’s agreed to let me have DC a few extra days so we can go visit my family, but last time I had a trip planned to visit them with DC, xH intentionally tried to make us miss our flight and told me to get over it.

I just put it all in my “burn book” and look forward to the day I can trot it all out in front of a judge in court.

[Anonymous]

Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

Ugh. I am sorry that you had that happen but I so appreciate hearing that someone can relate. I hope that the rest of your holiday season goes well. Thanks for replying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

…Psst, hey dummy, the Italian “mama” stereotype is pretty insulting, too.

-White woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

I am white and I didn’t try to understand, I just added it to the list of hot topics to avoid in any conversation. Why would people even discuss sauce brands?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

…Psst, hey dummy, the Italian “mama” stereotype is pretty insulting, too.

-White woman

Italians just didn’t get around to putting it on the offensive list yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

…Psst, hey dummy, the Italian “mama” stereotype is pretty insulting, too.

-White woman

It’s insulting to ignorant white progressives living in a bubble.

This “dummy” is married into an Italian family. Being a fantastic cook is a great source of pride. Everyone has a Nona, mama, papa, zio who is a great cook, some of the recipes are legendary.

[Anonymous]

We helped our host in the kitchen and noticed one ingredient in a dish looked spoiled. They insisted it wasn’t. We both have upset stomachs today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

I had to look it up why they are problematic. To me Aunt Jemima was no different different than the myriad of Italian Mama’s on pasta sauce brands.

I am white and I didn’t try to understand, I just added it to the list of hot topics to avoid in any conversation. Why would people even discuss sauce brands?!

How do you get through life with such lack of curiosity or interest in understanding.

I am not going to argue with the POC pp because I understand why it’s offensive to her. Just letting her know that for many people the stereotype she thinks is being perpetuated does not even register.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith family; we’re Jewish, in-laws are Protestant. Young adult nephew told me a Holocaust joke, didn’t understand why I didn’t see it as funny. BIL and SIL just sat there, then SIL finally told him to apologize for hurting my feelings. None of them seemed to get that it’s not my personal feelings that make this wrong.

I’m a POC and had to explain to my white in laws why brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Bens are problematic. It ended up being quite a heated discussion with them saying things like “but I see those people as POSITIVE characters”. SMH

Ugh. I am sorry that you had that happen but I so appreciate hearing that someone can relate. I hope that the rest of your holiday season goes well. Thanks for replying.

Double ugh for both of you. Sorry that you had to deal with such ignorance.