Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
This isn’t true. Roughly 60% of trans women are bisexual. 20% are only attracted to women. Like 1% want to top you with their dicks and 0% of them have functioning penises without medics intervention. As it turns out, having very low testosterone and very high estrogen isn’t conducive to functioning male genitalia. The vast majority of trans women do not like using their genitals for sex. Those porn videos you watch aren’t accurate. Shocking, right? Trans porn is made for cisgender men, not for transgender women to watch.
This statement is false. A very large percentage of transwomen retain functioning penises and are attracted to women.
The second link says nothing about functioning penises. The first link is to a gender critical site and even it doesn't say anything about penis function which is part of your claim. Most trans women do still have a penis because it is very expensive to get SRS. Of those that still have them, 99% of them do not function and are incapable of penetration.
Again, you are lying. Where is your cite for 99% are non-functioning?
There are plenty of transwomen who talk about their erections.
If a trans woman in a prison is able to have an erection then she is not being given the proper medication. Transgender women cannot achieve or maintain erections.
Many transwomen absolutely can achieve and maintain erections. Where on earth (other than your imagination) are you getting your info from?
Myself. My friends. My doctor. The trans community. Most trans women that have relationships with other women use a strap on. Usually trans women have sex in other ways. In the rare case where someone is a top, she will almost certainly have to take a whole lot of medical intervention for any hope of sexual function.
Stop universalizing your experiences. Just because you and your friends feel a certain way doesn't mean it's true of an entire community or even most of the community.
Where is your data to back up these claims?
Where's your data? You or someone else is universalizing the experience of a trans woman in a prison to all trans women everywhere. One that, if she impregnated someone, wasn't on hormones. Hormones sterilize us.
Hormones sterilizing you are completely irrelevant because hormones are not required to identify as a transwoman.
Well no, because people are trans before they are able to start hormones but if you're a trans woman, you would want to be on hormones. Maybe if you identify as nonbinary you wouldn't though.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
There is no difference between and regular old dude and a transwoman. Except that the transwoman has said they identify as a woman. That's it.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
There is no difference between and regular old dude and a transwoman. Except that the transwoman has said they identify as a woman. That's it.
Similar to how there is no difference between straight people and gay people.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
This isn’t true. Roughly 60% of trans women are bisexual. 20% are only attracted to women. Like 1% want to top you with their dicks and 0% of them have functioning penises without medics intervention. As it turns out, having very low testosterone and very high estrogen isn’t conducive to functioning male genitalia. The vast majority of trans women do not like using their genitals for sex. Those porn videos you watch aren’t accurate. Shocking, right? Trans porn is made for cisgender men, not for transgender women to watch.
This statement is false. A very large percentage of transwomen retain functioning penises and are attracted to women.
The second link says nothing about functioning penises. The first link is to a gender critical site and even it doesn't say anything about penis function which is part of your claim. Most trans women do still have a penis because it is very expensive to get SRS. Of those that still have them, 99% of them do not function and are incapable of penetration.
Again, you are lying. Where is your cite for 99% are non-functioning?
There are plenty of transwomen who talk about their erections.
If a trans woman in a prison is able to have an erection then she is not being given the proper medication. Transgender women cannot achieve or maintain erections.
The statement that transwomen can't have erections is a complete falsehood. Transwomen talk about their erections all of the time.
Who are you to say what is the 'proper' medication for a transwomen? Any person who makes a statement they feel like a woman is a transwomen, how dare you insinuate that this rapist prisoner requires medication to be a transwoman.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
So are you creeped about by cisgender lesbians in the locker room?
I'm the PP who said I don't want to change with regular old men. Of the following groups, who are most likely to harm women: cisgender heterosexual women, cisgender lesbian women, trans women or men? We all know the answer is door number 4! Men. So I'll keep my women's locker room with all the cis women and trans women in it.
I don't get the thinking that allowing trans women into a women's locker room is going to put women at more risk. If there is some psycho man out there who wants to assault women in the bathroom or locker room, he's going to find a way to do it no matter what the rules are, because he is just a psycho. People like that have nothing whatsoever to do with transgender people. Any person of any gender, sex, or orientation can be a psycho, but not everyone in a particular group is a psycho.
Males, regardless of gender identity, commit 99.9% of sexual assaults against females. So it's doors 3 and 4.
No, Transgender individuals are more likely to have been victimized that to be the victimizers.
Research has also shown that transwomen or males who say they are transwomen are more likely to commit sexual offenses than both non-trans men and women.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
You are literally a man who is deleting comments from women about being female. Check yourself.
Maybe you should go bigot elsewhere.
Is this all you’ve got? Calling people bigots when they disagree with you?
No wonder people are sick of the trans movement.
I call bigots bigots. Would you prefer a more radical name?
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
This isn’t true. Roughly 60% of trans women are bisexual. 20% are only attracted to women. Like 1% want to top you with their dicks and 0% of them have functioning penises without medics intervention. As it turns out, having very low testosterone and very high estrogen isn’t conducive to functioning male genitalia. The vast majority of trans women do not like using their genitals for sex. Those porn videos you watch aren’t accurate. Shocking, right? Trans porn is made for cisgender men, not for transgender women to watch.
This statement is false. A very large percentage of transwomen retain functioning penises and are attracted to women.
The second link says nothing about functioning penises. The first link is to a gender critical site and even it doesn't say anything about penis function which is part of your claim. Most trans women do still have a penis because it is very expensive to get SRS. Of those that still have them, 99% of them do not function and are incapable of penetration.
Again, you are lying. Where is your cite for 99% are non-functioning?
There are plenty of transwomen who talk about their erections.
If a trans woman in a prison is able to have an erection then she is not being given the proper medication. Transgender women cannot achieve or maintain erections.
The statement that transwomen can't have erections is a complete falsehood. Transwomen talk about their erections all of the time.
Who are you to say what is the 'proper' medication for a transwomen? Any person who makes a statement they feel like a woman is a transwomen, how dare you insinuate that this rapist prisoner requires medication to be a transwoman.
Where are you hearing this?
I would actually love to know this too. As the trans person posting here, most of what I've heard IRL is only among other trans women specifically and in very niche discussions with people we are close to. Aside from that, there's discussions of preserving fertility by freezing sperm but that has to be done pre hormones or in the first couple months of treatment. Many trans women decide not to freeze sperm either because having a genetic child isn't important to them or they don't have the money. In some cases, I've heard of and read about trans women's parents paying to have her bank sperm ahead of time because they want grand kids and this is the only way they may have the opportunity to make it happen. These types of discussions and others like them tend to be common in trans-only spaces.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
So are you creeped about by cisgender lesbians in the locker room?
I'm the PP who said I don't want to change with regular old men. Of the following groups, who are most likely to harm women: cisgender heterosexual women, cisgender lesbian women, trans women or men? We all know the answer is door number 4! Men. So I'll keep my women's locker room with all the cis women and trans women in it.
I don't get the thinking that allowing trans women into a women's locker room is going to put women at more risk. If there is some psycho man out there who wants to assault women in the bathroom or locker room, he's going to find a way to do it no matter what the rules are, because he is just a psycho. People like that have nothing whatsoever to do with transgender people. Any person of any gender, sex, or orientation can be a psycho, but not everyone in a particular group is a psycho.
Males, regardless of gender identity, commit 99.9% of sexual assaults against females. So it's doors 3 and 4.
No, Transgender individuals are more likely to have been victimized that to be the victimizers.
Research has also shown that transwomen or males who say they are transwomen are more likely to commit sexual offenses than both non-trans men and women.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
So are you creeped about by cisgender lesbians in the locker room?
I'm the PP who said I don't want to change with regular old men. Of the following groups, who are most likely to harm women: cisgender heterosexual women, cisgender lesbian women, trans women or men? We all know the answer is door number 4! Men. So I'll keep my women's locker room with all the cis women and trans women in it.
I don't get the thinking that allowing trans women into a women's locker room is going to put women at more risk. If there is some psycho man out there who wants to assault women in the bathroom or locker room, he's going to find a way to do it no matter what the rules are, because he is just a psycho. People like that have nothing whatsoever to do with transgender people. Any person of any gender, sex, or orientation can be a psycho, but not everyone in a particular group is a psycho.
Males, regardless of gender identity, commit 99.9% of sexual assaults against females. So it's doors 3 and 4.
No, Transgender individuals are more likely to have been victimized that to be the victimizers.
Research has also shown that transwomen or males who say they are transwomen are more likely to commit sexual offenses than both non-trans men and women.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
This isn’t true. Roughly 60% of trans women are bisexual. 20% are only attracted to women. Like 1% want to top you with their dicks and 0% of them have functioning penises without medics intervention. As it turns out, having very low testosterone and very high estrogen isn’t conducive to functioning male genitalia. The vast majority of trans women do not like using their genitals for sex. Those porn videos you watch aren’t accurate. Shocking, right? Trans porn is made for cisgender men, not for transgender women to watch.
This statement is false. A very large percentage of transwomen retain functioning penises and are attracted to women.
The second link says nothing about functioning penises. The first link is to a gender critical site and even it doesn't say anything about penis function which is part of your claim. Most trans women do still have a penis because it is very expensive to get SRS. Of those that still have them, 99% of them do not function and are incapable of penetration.
Again, you are lying. Where is your cite for 99% are non-functioning?
There are plenty of transwomen who talk about their erections.
If a trans woman in a prison is able to have an erection then she is not being given the proper medication. Transgender women cannot achieve or maintain erections.
The statement that transwomen can't have erections is a complete falsehood. Transwomen talk about their erections all of the time.
Who are you to say what is the 'proper' medication for a transwomen? Any person who makes a statement they feel like a woman is a transwomen, how dare you insinuate that this rapist prisoner requires medication to be a transwoman.
Where are you hearing this?
I would actually love to know this too. As the trans person posting here, most of what I've heard IRL is only among other trans women specifically and in very niche discussions with people we are close to. Aside from that, there's discussions of preserving fertility by freezing sperm but that has to be done pre hormones or in the first couple months of treatment. Many trans women decide not to freeze sperm either because having a genetic child isn't important to them or they don't have the money. In some cases, I've heard of and read about trans women's parents paying to have her bank sperm ahead of time because they want grand kids and this is the only way they may have the opportunity to make it happen. These types of discussions and others like them tend to be common in trans-only spaces.
There are many online conversations where transwomen talk about their euphoria b0ner$ or AGP fetishes or how they decided to transition due to p0rn.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
There is no difference between and regular old dude and a transwoman. Except that the transwoman has said they identify as a woman. That's it.
Similar to how there is no difference between straight people and gay people.
Gay people aren't making claims that are based on unscientific nonsense and eroding women's rights.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
This isn’t true. Roughly 60% of trans women are bisexual. 20% are only attracted to women. Like 1% want to top you with their dicks and 0% of them have functioning penises without medics intervention. As it turns out, having very low testosterone and very high estrogen isn’t conducive to functioning male genitalia. The vast majority of trans women do not like using their genitals for sex. Those porn videos you watch aren’t accurate. Shocking, right? Trans porn is made for cisgender men, not for transgender women to watch.
This statement is false. A very large percentage of transwomen retain functioning penises and are attracted to women.
The second link says nothing about functioning penises. The first link is to a gender critical site and even it doesn't say anything about penis function which is part of your claim. Most trans women do still have a penis because it is very expensive to get SRS. Of those that still have them, 99% of them do not function and are incapable of penetration.
Again, you are lying. Where is your cite for 99% are non-functioning?
There are plenty of transwomen who talk about their erections.
If a trans woman in a prison is able to have an erection then she is not being given the proper medication. Transgender women cannot achieve or maintain erections.
Many transwomen absolutely can achieve and maintain erections. Where on earth (other than your imagination) are you getting your info from?
Myself. My friends. My doctor. The trans community. Most trans women that have relationships with other women use a strap on. Usually trans women have sex in other ways. In the rare case where someone is a top, she will almost certainly have to take a whole lot of medical intervention for any hope of sexual function.
Stop universalizing your experiences. Just because you and your friends feel a certain way doesn't mean it's true of an entire community or even most of the community.
Where is your data to back up these claims?
Where's your data? You or someone else is universalizing the experience of a trans woman in a prison to all trans women everywhere. One that, if she impregnated someone, wasn't on hormones. Hormones sterilize us.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
This isn’t true. Roughly 60% of trans women are bisexual. 20% are only attracted to women. Like 1% want to top you with their dicks and 0% of them have functioning penises without medics intervention. As it turns out, having very low testosterone and very high estrogen isn’t conducive to functioning male genitalia. The vast majority of trans women do not like using their genitals for sex. Those porn videos you watch aren’t accurate. Shocking, right? Trans porn is made for cisgender men, not for transgender women to watch.
This statement is false. A very large percentage of transwomen retain functioning penises and are attracted to women.
The second link says nothing about functioning penises. The first link is to a gender critical site and even it doesn't say anything about penis function which is part of your claim. Most trans women do still have a penis because it is very expensive to get SRS. Of those that still have them, 99% of them do not function and are incapable of penetration.
Again, you are lying. Where is your cite for 99% are non-functioning?
There are plenty of transwomen who talk about their erections.
If a trans woman in a prison is able to have an erection then she is not being given the proper medication. Transgender women cannot achieve or maintain erections.
The statement that transwomen can't have erections is a complete falsehood. Transwomen talk about their erections all of the time.
Who are you to say what is the 'proper' medication for a transwomen? Any person who makes a statement they feel like a woman is a transwomen, how dare you insinuate that this rapist prisoner requires medication to be a transwoman.
Where are you hearing this?
I would actually love to know this too. As the trans person posting here, most of what I've heard IRL is only among other trans women specifically and in very niche discussions with people we are close to. Aside from that, there's discussions of preserving fertility by freezing sperm but that has to be done pre hormones or in the first couple months of treatment. Many trans women decide not to freeze sperm either because having a genetic child isn't important to them or they don't have the money. In some cases, I've heard of and read about trans women's parents paying to have her bank sperm ahead of time because they want grand kids and this is the only way they may have the opportunity to make it happen. These types of discussions and others like them tend to be common in trans-only spaces.
There are many online conversations where transwomen talk about their euphoria b0ner$ or AGP fetishes or how they decided to transition due to p0rn.
As I said previously, once you're on hormones, you can't get an erection. So if someone is talking about getting an erection, they aren't on hormones.
I don't believe that people transition due to porn. I had early childhood gender dysphoria and that is pretty much the same for my entire friend group. If a cisgender man transitioned because of porn (this doesn't make sense to me) then he would be giving himself gender dysphoria. It would be like a cis woman taking testosterone. She would grow a beard and get a deep voice and start getting body hair and smelling like a man (the smell is the first thing that changes incidentally). If someone claims that they are transitioning "because of porn" but they love the body changes, I'd say they're lying to themselves. Cis men want to continue being men. It's why they have surgery to remove gynecomastia for example - even if this is removing healthy body parts.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
Do you realize that most transwomen are sexually attracted exclusively to women? Transbian, right? Does that make any difference? It really did to me.
This isn’t true. Roughly 60% of trans women are bisexual. 20% are only attracted to women. Like 1% want to top you with their dicks and 0% of them have functioning penises without medics intervention. As it turns out, having very low testosterone and very high estrogen isn’t conducive to functioning male genitalia. The vast majority of trans women do not like using their genitals for sex. Those porn videos you watch aren’t accurate. Shocking, right? Trans porn is made for cisgender men, not for transgender women to watch.
This statement is false. A very large percentage of transwomen retain functioning penises and are attracted to women.
It's absolutely true. Only a very small number of pre-op transgender women have genitals that function as you are used to and are at all capable of penetration. I would know. Let's not get into a discussion of genitals though I do understand that some people love talking about trans people's private parts.
Another common tactic of trans activists is to shame women for being concerned about male genitalia. The fact is, PP, penises are what males use to rape women. Penises are the reason many males sexually assault women. So, yeah, many of us are concerned about penises being in female-only spaces.
It's a legitimate concern, and it's not OK to try to shame women for this--yet, trans activists frequently do this.
Okay fine. Transgender women's penises do not function because of very low testosterone and very high estrogen. Estrogen also shrinks them in size and shuts down production of sperm. The testicles shrink to 25% of the size. Trans women often lose a lot of libido because they have very little testosterone in their bodies. A trans woman cannot rape you with her penis. She is almost certainly incapable of getting an erection like you're used to. Trans women rarely have sex with their penises and they do not want to have sex with you using one. Trans women that use their genitals are extremely rare and almost all trans women are bottoms.
And there you are, making up more “facts.” None of this is true.
Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP who posted above that one of the things that bothers me the most about this entire discussion is the unending gaslighting from trans rights advocates, something that is seen on DCUM in the small and writ large across the movement in general. It’s a relentless narrative: “Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do? You must be absorbing propaganda because God knows you ladies couldn’t possibly reach rational conclusions based on living your entire lives as sexed females in a grossly misogynist world filled with sex-based violence!”
I read this article that I thought was excellent, and captures a lot of my feelings on the matter, so sharing:
I am not afraid of trans people. I am afraid of losing the principle – within feminism, of all places – that female lives matter as much as male ones. That our desires are not trivial, selfish, frivolous, whereas those of male people are a matter of life and death. That our perceptions of reality are as valid as male ones. That we do not deserve to be bullied and gaslighted into pandering to male egos in the name of “being kind“. That we are not privileged airheads who should say yes to everything because hey, what does it cost us? What do we know about pain? What even are we?
I must have missed the bolded when it was written. Could you please link to that post?
I am not the person who wrote this but I can assure you that although these specific words may have not been written, this is the message we are getting.
I am unapologetic about fighting to keep biological males out of female spaces. I am not homophobic. But make no mistake, people like me are being told out feelings don’t matter.
So, your point is that the thing that bothers that poster the most is something that was not actually said?
Jeff I’ve really grown to respect you and your opinions during this discussion, but I think you’re being deliberately obtuse here.
You are not a female. I think it is difficult for you to understand that females have unique struggles that people who identify as women cannot possibly understand. And that males clearly cannot understand.
I understand your desire to be inclusive and to support trans rights. But let’s be honest - there is absolutely nothing that is on the line for you personally.
I say this respectfully Jeff, I really do. I enjoy your website and this important discourse you’ve allowed us to have on this topic. And I thank you for that.
I am not sure whether you have realized it, but you have both moved the goalposts and reversed the logic of the issue that bothers the earlier poster the most. She was bothered by being told not to worry about "manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do". Your objection is to the invasion of women's spaces by people that you don't consider to be women. That is a different issue. Moreover, you are now telling me not to worry my pretty little head (very liberal paraphrasing here) about "women's" topics.
This thread started out with the original poster stating a desire to have good faith discussions of this issue. One of the reasons we can't have good faith discussions is that so many posters simply don't act in good faith. I am certain that nobody told the earlier poster not to worry her pretty little head about "manly" topics. With the exception of me, the posters in this thread are likely female and I absolutely said no such thing. Yet, that entirely made up quote is the thing that bothers her the most.
What that poster probably means is that she does not believe her arguments are taken seriously. I would argue they are taken seriously, but not always found to be persuasive. She blames this on misogyny rather than shortcomings with her arguments. Similarly, you also refuse to consider that your arguments simply might not be as strong as you seem to believe, but simply claim that only females are capable of understanding. Of course, you ignore the females who hold view identical to mine. What is your explanation for why they don't understand?
So PP’s “very liberal paraphrasing” wasn’t ok (you wanted a direct quote) while yours is? Talk about not discussing in good faith.
Apparently you are not familiar with the rules of English grammar. The earlier poster used quotation marks around the passage that I bolded. I am sure that you can Google the meaning of quotation marks, but to put it simply, they do not indicate that something is being paraphrased. To the contrary, they specify that they surround something that was literally stated. I, on the other hand, did not use quotations marks. To ensure that there would be no confusion, I offered additional clarification that I was not only paraphrasing, but doing so very liberally and, hence, far from literally. Hopefully this clarifies things for you sufficiently.
That PP also explicitly used the word narrative.
Do you know what that word means?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what that word means. Can you show me where there is a narrative in which the earlier poster was told, "Why are you worrying your pretty little heads with important manly topics that are for people who matter more than you do?"
First, I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever suggest that transgenderism is a "manly" topic, let alone one with which women should not concern themselves. Second, who has told the poster that this is a topic for people who matter more than she does?
This is the thing that bothers that poster the most so certainly there is at least one example of it here.
I think that you’re failing to account for the manner in which women are constantly told to be quiet, spoken over, and dismissed. I promise we can see what’s happening.
That may well be true as a society-wide issue but is not something that has been happening in this discussion in which nearly all participants are women and all views are being given equal voice. It's hard to speak over a written message. Moreover, this is a different complaint than that made by the earlier poster who did not simply complain that her views were dismissed, but that she was told not to talk about "manly" issues that should be left to those that matter more than her. That simply didn't happen.
I am not the “manly” poster but even if we take “manly” out of the equation a large number of women definitely feel as though we are being told the feelings of trans people matter more than our feelings. We are told that our outrage over transwomen competing in women’s sports isn’t valid because there is such a small number of trans athletes so why would we be upset about this? That’s saying that Lia Thomas’ teammates have to just suck it up.
I disagree with your overall views about trans issues. Why do your feelings matter more on the subject than mine? I’m a woman. Does it make you a misogynist to not care about how some women feel just because they disagree with you? Because I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for not wanting to ban trans women from bathrooms and locker rooms.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. Neither one of us is right or wrong. It’s an opinion on the status of trans people. It’s what the majority thinks/wants that will win in the end. And I am certain my side will win.
You think that the majority of the country wants transgender women in the men's bathrooms and transgender men in the women's bathrooms?
Do you think the majority of the country should be able to decide if adults are allowed to transition and what adults should be able to do with their own bodies and how they live their lives?
I think the majority of the country doesn’t want penises in female spaces. And doesn’t want transwomen competing against females in sports. I also think the majority of the country doesn’t think that womanhood is a feeling.
I think adults can do whatever they want. I’m not sure how the majority of the country feels about that particularly.
So you're saying you want pre-op trans women in the men's bathroom and post-op trans women in the women's bathroom?
Quite honestly the bathroom thing doesn’t bother me as much as the locker room thing. I definitely don’t want to be changing or showering with a biological male.
So you're opinion is, bathroom whatever because it's closed stalls. Locker room, pre-op and post-op trans women should change in the men's locker room with your men and boys?
I’m not sure why you want me to keep repeating it, but I don’t want a penis in the locker room with me. Post op clearly wouldn’t have a penis, but that would be difficult to police. So it would have to be segregated by male/female. That’s the only way to keep the penises out.
Is there a word for fear of penises?
I don't get the obsession with other people's genitalia. Are you OK with women with big flappy labia? Extra full bush? Micro clit? Are you really looking at people's junk that closely?
Almost everyone would prefer individual changing stalls. They would make everyone more comfortable.
There is no fear, as much as you would like that to be the reason.
Listen, if you’re comfortable changing in the locker room next to a male, have at it. If I don’t want to see someone’s penis, or if I don’t want my kids to see that, that is a valid concern. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of anything.
I’m not comfortable with it. Why do you think locker rooms were segregated in the first place? For shits and giggles?
If there is no fear, then what is the issue. Just let people change where they feel comfortable and leave them alone.
Even Gaines "never felt uncomfortable around Lia", that is, until she decided to work the RWNJ press circuit.
Locker rooms are segregated because of antiquated social norms.
I gotta say that I'd be fine with a trans woman next to me, but I don't want to change with regular old dudes. No thanks.
There is no difference between and regular old dude and a transwoman. Except that the transwoman has said they identify as a woman. That's it.
Similar to how there is no difference between straight people and gay people.
Gay people aren't making claims that are based on unscientific nonsense and eroding women's rights.
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