Is my husband gay or am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conservative Christian woman here. I just mentioned this post to my husband and he is dismayed by some of the responses. Friendships with men have been the norm in male culture, not just among conservative Christians. Doing things one on one with other men - do you all know any working class men? This is the norm. And mentorship is not suspicious. Come on!

This is funny because my husband is really authentic and friendly with everybody and doesn’t have some kind of emotional wall with men like a lot of men do (for a lot of men friendship means doing activities with each other and not sharing feelings) and my husband gets hit on by gay men a ton. Why? Because in our messed up culture, emotional closeness = romance for men.

So yeah, sadly, the fact that a man has close, real emotional bonds with men is an indicator that he is gay. Of course it’s not definitive, as in the case with my husband, but it’s true.

It’s probably also because he is really fit and gay men tend to have high standards for fitness)

(If anybody wants citations to studies about these things, I can provide them)

Your DH might be gay.

So many people say that when they find out how much DH attracts gay men. He isn’t. But I’m not going to waste my or anybody else’s time with reasons why I know he isn’t gay.

New poster responding to the bold above -- to that PP, I know you mean well by couching your post in discussion of how "our messed up culture" is to blame and "of course it's not definitive" -- but you really are perpetuating the stereotype with that statement in bold.

I'm glad your husband defies the stereotype and has close bonds with other men (my DH does too).

But it's too strong, to me, to state that it's a general "fact" (your word) that those bonds are an "indicator" of being gay.

It might be more accurate to say that in our society people often assume that men who show outward affection and bonds with other men are gay.