Is my husband gay or am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he is bi ???? Sorry but there is no such thing as a bi-sexual man. Men are either straight or gay, there’s really no In between

Where on gods green earth are you getting this information. And are you over 70?

Seriously. Someone needs to come get their ill-informed MeeMaw off the Internet.

[Anonymous]

Wait- so people really believe only gay men have close male friends? That perhaps do something together sometimes...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait- so people really believe only gay men have close male friends? That perhaps do something together sometimes...

Most adult men are woefully lacking in close male friends with whom they can confide. They use their wives to confide in and share with. It's a poorly developed social structure we have here in the US

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conservative Christian woman here. I just mentioned this post to my husband and he is dismayed by some of the responses. Friendships with men have been the norm in male culture, not just among conservative Christians. Doing things one on one with other men - do you all know any working class men? This is the norm. And mentorship is not suspicious. Come on!

This is funny because my husband is really authentic and friendly with everybody and doesn’t have some kind of emotional wall with men like a lot of men do (for a lot of men friendship means doing activities with each other and not sharing feelings) and my husband gets hit on by gay men a ton. Why? Because in our messed up culture, emotional closeness = romance for men.

So yeah, sadly, the fact that a man has close, real emotional bonds with men is an indicator that he is gay. Of course it’s not definitive, as in the case with my husband, but it’s true.

It’s probably also because he is really fit and gay men tend to have high standards for fitness)

(If anybody wants citations to studies about these things, I can provide them)

Your DH might be gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conservative Christian woman here. I just mentioned this post to my husband and he is dismayed by some of the responses. Friendships with men have been the norm in male culture, not just among conservative Christians. Doing things one on one with other men - do you all know any working class men? This is the norm. And mentorship is not suspicious. Come on!

This is funny because my husband is really authentic and friendly with everybody and doesn’t have some kind of emotional wall with men like a lot of men do (for a lot of men friendship means doing activities with each other and not sharing feelings) and my husband gets hit on by gay men a ton. Why? Because in our messed up culture, emotional closeness = romance for men.

So yeah, sadly, the fact that a man has close, real emotional bonds with men is an indicator that he is gay. Of course it’s not definitive, as in the case with my husband, but it’s true.

It’s probably also because he is really fit and gay men tend to have high standards for fitness)

(If anybody wants citations to studies about these things, I can provide them)

Your DH might be gay.

So many people say that when they find out how much DH attracts gay men. He isn’t. But I’m not going to waste my or anybody else’s time with reasons why I know he isn’t gay.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell DH the 9yo can cook or do whatever interests him, and DH's comments on it need to stop now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell DH the 9yo can cook or do whatever interests him, and DH's comments on it need to stop now.

+1 And your husband needs to stop it with the homophobic attitude because you don't want your kids to be influenced by it.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds paranoid or hypochondriac. Her husband is not gay.

[Anonymous]

Not looking at other women is honestly the biggest red flag. If you are straight it is literally impossible not to notice a great a**, perfect rack, long legs, etc. It's impossible. I feel like its a constant chore when I'm in public to not leer.

[Anonymous]

OP: To answer your original question, your husband is not gay. You do sound a bit crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait- so people really believe only gay men have close male friends? That perhaps do something together sometimes...

Most adult men are woefully lacking in close male friends with whom they can confide. They use their wives to confide in and share with. It's a poorly developed social structure we have here in the US

.

I'm general, women haveuch better support groups, which is one reason they get over divorce faster and don't rush to remarry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait- so people really believe only gay men have close male friends? That perhaps do something together sometimes...

Most adult men are woefully lacking in close male friends with whom they can confide. They use their wives to confide in and share with. It's a poorly developed social structure we have here in the US

.

I'm general, women haveuch better support groups, which is one reason they get over divorce faster and don't rush to remarry.

Plus one million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: To answer your original question, your husband is not gay. You do sound a bit crazy.

I disagree. You don’t sound crazy and he actually does sound gay. The forming a close relationship with a man 15 years his junior is a red flag to me. It’s one thing to be a mentor to someone- it’s another to start hanging out together outside of work, inviting him over to your house etc.

Your instincts are telling you something is off and you should trust your instincts.

If I were you, my biggest concern would be contracting STDs from any partners your husband decides to sleep with. I’m not sure how you get around this without flat out bringing it out in the open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not looking at other women is honestly the biggest red flag. If you are straight it is literally impossible not to notice a great a**, perfect rack, long legs, etc. It's impossible. I feel like its a constant chore when I'm in public to not leer.

Yeah but does your wife notice you leering and drooling? Seriously, I look at women all the time but my wife would say I don’t. I’m not going to swivel my head away from her whenever a pair of yoga pants goes trotting by. You gotta use your peripherals, bro!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds paranoid or hypochondriac. Her husband is not gay.

Seriously. “He might be gay because he enjoys spending time with his friends, and someone at work reached out to him about mentoring” is bananas.