Confused about all the gender bending

[Anonymous]

I agree, op. 1,000 %. It is troubling, and it is tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes i agree that coming out as young teens is ubiquitous now. Our dd identifies stridently as bisexual - and yet the vast majority of her ever changing crushes appear to be boys. Despite being married to a man for many many years, she tells me that i am obviously bi because i prefer shorts/ jeans, don’t wear much makeup and exercise 😂. Okie dokie! Also that Gen Z is the greatest generation of all time because they accept so many different gender identifies. 😂 Gotta love the self confidence but reality checks are in order - who do they think paved the way for all these progressive ideals? Every single generation that came before them.

I tell our dd that we will love her and accept her whatever her sexuality may be -/ but that she still needs to work hard at school and become a responsible independent adult. All these fancy gender labels don’t change the need to work hard and do mundane chores. I also believe that negative stereotypes around feminine women are Misogynistic. We need to respect different forms of womanhood. There is a lot of mixed messaging going on in social media.

i agree with whoever said a lot of this is the way this generation is rebelling/finding themselves. That can be a good thing as long as they stay grounded.

But they are not grounded. They are the most confused generation in history. Exhibit A- the child you described above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Tomboy is just another word for what Ops child is saying. Language evolves.

DP. In this case, when the evolution of language is happening rapidly amongst adolescents on social media, I’m concerned that the labeling and segmenting isn’t necessarily in their best interest.

Most adults are confused and out of touch of evolving language. Teens gave new language weekly.

But it just means you are out of touch not correct.

I’m fine with being out of touch. But you don’t see a potential issue with the language of gender identity and sexuality now evolving on platforms designed to sort people into little digital echo chambers so that you can make them want to buy stuff?

I see no issue with renaming tomboy to something else and expanding the definition of bi, etc..., the only echo chamber here is in your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes i agree that coming out as young teens is ubiquitous now. Our dd identifies stridently as bisexual - and yet the vast majority of her ever changing crushes appear to be boys. Despite being married to a man for many many years, she tells me that i am obviously bi because i prefer shorts/ jeans, don’t wear much makeup and exercise 😂. Okie dokie! Also that Gen Z is the greatest generation of all time because they accept so many different gender identifies. 😂 Gotta love the self confidence but reality checks are in order - who do they think paved the way for all these progressive ideals? Every single generation that came before them.

I tell our dd that we will love her and accept her whatever her sexuality may be -/ but that she still needs to work hard at school and become a responsible independent adult. All these fancy gender labels don’t change the need to work hard and do mundane chores. I also believe that negative stereotypes around feminine women are Misogynistic. We need to respect different forms of womanhood. There is a lot of mixed messaging going on in social media.

i agree with whoever said a lot of this is the way this generation is rebelling/finding themselves. That can be a good thing as long as they stay grounded.

But they are not grounded. They are the most confused generation in history. Exhibit A- the child you described above.

+10000. I can give you Exhibit B-Z as well, to include OP's child.

[Anonymous]

Every single person here who says that all these kids are confused and the whole thing is troubling would have said the exact same thing about a gay kid in the eighties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every single person here who says that all these kids are confused and the whole thing is troubling would have said the exact same thing about a gay kid in the eighties.

Which is part of the difference. It wasn't a trend then to experiment with one's identity and sexuality to the degree that it is now.

[Anonymous]

Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every single person here who says that all these kids are confused and the whole thing is troubling would have said the exact same thing about a gay kid in the eighties.

Which is part of the difference. It wasn't a trend then to experiment with one's identity and sexuality to the degree that it is now.

That is exactly what people said to those kids. That it was a trend, a phase, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

And you don't see a problem with that? That your child is that removed from reality?

She doesn't "want" to be a man? What in the world would your precious like in life, PP? I'm being totally serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

Despite what this generation thinks, there is not a third option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every single person here who says that all these kids are confused and the whole thing is troubling would have said the exact same thing about a gay kid in the eighties.

Which is part of the difference. It wasn't a trend then to experiment with one's identity and sexuality to the degree that it is now.

That is exactly what people said to those kids. That it was a trend, a phase, etc.

It was no where near the degree that it is happening now, nor was it supported/ encouraged by adults in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please be aware that posts are disappearing here. I have seen nothing out of line, but clearly some people are not comfortable with statements/ opinions that do not support their own.

Great--thanks for letting us know. I've reported some posts for misinformation, so I'm glad to see Jeff is responding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every single person here who says that all these kids are confused and the whole thing is troubling would have said the exact same thing about a gay kid in the eighties.

Which is part of the difference. It wasn't a trend then to experiment with one's identity and sexuality to the degree that it is now.

That is exactly what people said to those kids. That it was a trend, a phase, etc.

It was no where near the degree that it is happening now, nor was it supported/ encouraged by adults in their lives.

Right. Same thing that's said about every generation about some thing that freaks their parents out because they don't understand it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

Despite what this generation thinks, there is not a third option.

Why not? Who are you to say that? If you’re willing to accept the first step, who are you to tell PPs child that she cannot be a flamingo, or perhaps a starfish?