Confused about all the gender bending

[Anonymous]

NP, but yes, this is exactly what many of us are saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Maybe the AFAB teens are less concerned with cars, dinosaurs, and sports and worried more about violence against women, the gender pay gap, the fact that women are receive substandard care by medical professionals, or that even in families that claim to be liberal, they saw moms drop out of the work force in record numbers during the pandemic to do childcare. I know that my cis DDs are very worried about those issues and very critical about the sis-boom-bah Feminist theory of my generation, which tells little girls they can do anything boys can do and then has utterly abdicated responsibility for making sure girls have those opportunities if it makes things difficult with our DH and male bosses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP, but yes, this is exactly what many of us are saying.

+1 Another NP.

[Anonymous]

Stop being so sensitive. This isn't about you. Why do you feel threatened? You want to allow girls to pursue any interest they want, as long as they continue to allow you to label them as girls? Think about it.

I do not think it is about being threatened so much as not understanding society's shift for everyone to fit into a label.

I am a girl. 100% pure female. Since my mom's friends all had boys I did not realize I was a girl until puberty and was what we used to call a 'tomboy'. I had some Barbie dolls and baked mud pies but for the most part I preferred "boy stuff' to "girl stuff" and God help the person that tried to get me in a dress! But I was and am female.

Today i would probably be described as demi or something from the LGBTQ++ because we no longer have a spectrum, rather we have little niches so everyone can have a space.

I get trans, some people are born with gender dysphoria and I am not talking about that. It is this notion that we all decide what we want our gender to be in order belong to a group. What was wrong with the spectrum? I know I must sound horribly ignorant and totally un-woke but I am genuinely curious and am trying to figure this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Tomboy is just another word for what Ops child is saying. Language evolves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Stop being so sensitive. This isn't about you. Why do you feel threatened? You want to allow girls to pursue any interest they want, as long as they continue to allow you to label them as girls? Think about it.

I do not think it is about being threatened so much as not understanding society's shift for everyone to fit into a label.

I am a girl. 100% pure female. Since my mom's friends all had boys I did not realize I was a girl until puberty and was what we used to call a 'tomboy'. I had some Barbie dolls and baked mud pies but for the most part I preferred "boy stuff' to "girl stuff" and God help the person that tried to get me in a dress! But I was and am female.

Today i would probably be described as demi or something from the LGBTQ++ because we no longer have a spectrum, rather we have little niches so everyone can have a space.

I get trans, some people are born with gender dysphoria and I am not talking about that. It is this notion that we all decide what we want our gender to be in order belong to a group. What was wrong with the spectrum? I know I must sound horribly ignorant and totally un-woke but I am genuinely curious and am trying to figure this out.

No...you’d have the freedom to describe yourself the way you wanted to. That’s the point. You defined yourself as a tomboy. That’s fine! but why does anyone else have to use the terms you used?

And you see tomboy as part of a spectrum and “demi-girl” as a niche. But someone else might say “tomboy” forces them into them into a rigid gender category (girl who “likes boy stuff”) while demi-girl allows them to express themselves on a spectrum of gender identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Tomboy is just another word for what Ops child is saying. Language evolves.

DP. In this case, when the evolution of language is happening rapidly amongst adolescents on social media, I’m concerned that the labeling and segmenting isn’t necessarily in their best interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Stop being so sensitive. This isn't about you. Why do you feel threatened? You want to allow girls to pursue any interest they want, as long as they continue to allow you to label them as girls? Think about it.

Of course. That's pretty basic.

[Anonymous]

Please be aware that posts are disappearing here. I have seen nothing out of line, but clearly some people are not comfortable with statements/ opinions that do not support their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m mostly straight (which I’ve never discussed with my kids), but they often note that I think more like a dad than a mom and tend to be more interested in typically male hobbies. I attribute this to growing up in an overwhelmingly male family. I have had more long term friendships with males than women, but never questioned whether my biological sex matched my internal gender. So I can’t judge someone else for not conforming to the majority culture’s perception of what it means to be female. These girls are finding how to be comfortable in a society that is very hostile to females no matter what your third wave Pinterest feminism tells you. If 2/3 of them spend their teens through twenties avoiding relationships with makes, I would not be surprised. Those are dangerous years.

???? This is not what OP is talking about. Liking “typically male” hobbies is what we want to re-examine. Girls can do anything and do can boys and it has no bearing on gender. What OP is referring to is sexuality and the overemphasis of defining oneself at that age. There’s also an element of male bashing which is evident from your bolded commented above. Many young girls had/have wonderful relationships with boys at that age. Sorry that you think all men treat women with hostility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Tomboy is just another word for what Ops child is saying. Language evolves.

DP. In this case, when the evolution of language is happening rapidly amongst adolescents on social media, I’m concerned that the labeling and segmenting isn’t necessarily in their best interest.

Most adults are confused and out of touch of evolving language. Teens gave new language weekly.

But it just means you are out of touch not correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Stop being so sensitive. This isn't about you. Why do you feel threatened? You want to allow girls to pursue any interest they want, as long as they continue to allow you to label them as girls? Think about it.

Of course. That's pretty basic.

You like your label “tomboy” they like other language.

Yep, pretty basic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Tomboy is just another word for what Ops child is saying. Language evolves.

DP. In this case, when the evolution of language is happening rapidly amongst adolescents on social media, I’m concerned that the labeling and segmenting isn’t necessarily in their best interest.

Most adults are confused and out of touch of evolving language. Teens gave new language weekly.

But it just means you are out of touch not correct.

I’m fine with being out of touch. But you don’t see a potential issue with the language of gender identity and sexuality now evolving on platforms designed to sort people into little digital echo chambers so that you can make them want to buy stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

Count this "tomboy" in too. What happened to strong women? I can't wrap my head around this disallowing diversity of what it means to be female. Or male for that matter. Why can't girls like cars and dinosaurs and be sports fanatics and why can't boys love baking and fashion without being told they are misgendered.

Tomboy is just another word for what Ops child is saying. Language evolves.

DP. In this case, when the evolution of language is happening rapidly amongst adolescents on social media, I’m concerned that the labeling and segmenting isn’t necessarily in their best interest.

Most adults are confused and out of touch of evolving language. Teens gave new language weekly.

But it just means you are out of touch not correct.

I’m fine with being out of touch. But you don’t see a potential issue with the language of gender identity and sexuality now evolving on platforms designed to sort people into little digital echo chambers so that you can make them want to buy stuff?

So your real objection to all of this is consumerism? Why didn’t you say so from the start?

[Anonymous]

Yes i agree that coming out as young teens is ubiquitous now. Our dd identifies stridently as bisexual - and yet the vast majority of her ever changing crushes appear to be boys. Despite being married to a man for many many years, she tells me that i am obviously bi because i prefer shorts/ jeans, don’t wear much makeup and exercise 😂. Okie dokie! Also that Gen Z is the greatest generation of all time because they accept so many different gender identifies. 😂 Gotta love the self confidence but reality checks are in order - who do they think paved the way for all these progressive ideals? Every single generation that came before them.

I tell our dd that we will love her and accept her whatever her sexuality may be -/ but that she still needs to work hard at school and become a responsible independent adult. All these fancy gender labels don’t change the need to work hard and do mundane chores. I also believe that negative stereotypes around feminine women are Misogynistic. We need to respect different forms of womanhood. There is a lot of mixed messaging going on in social media.

i agree with whoever said a lot of this is the way this generation is rebelling/finding themselves. That can be a good thing as long as they stay grounded.