Confused about all the gender bending

[Anonymous]

I'm not even sure if I like any labels. Aren't we are all somewhere on the spectrum? In any case, labels are helpful for some, but they aren't for everyone, and I think we need to be more flexible with them changing. I'm learning so much talking to my son. He came out as bisexual to me, and he doesn't like labels, so I've been having a lot of talks at home lately about it. Being flexible is important all the way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not even sure if I like any labels. Aren't we are all somewhere on the spectrum? In any case, labels are helpful for some, but they aren't for everyone, and I think we need to be more flexible with them changing. I'm learning so much talking to my son. He came out as bisexual to me, and he doesn't like labels, so I've been having a lot of talks at home lately about it. Being flexible is important all the way around.

No, thanks, we aren’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

And you don't see a problem with that? That your child is that removed from reality?

She doesn't "want" to be a man? What in the world would your precious like in life, PP? I'm being totally serious.

Same for my kid. They don't want hormone therapy.

And no, I don't see a problem with that. My kid isn't "removed from reality". What they'd like in life is to be the smart, funny, compassionate and decidedly more tolerant/less "precious" individual than you are, PP. Why should it be a problem for you (or anyone) that they just rather be an amazing person than an amazing woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

And you don't see a problem with that? That your child is that removed from reality?

She doesn't "want" to be a man? What in the world would your precious like in life, PP? I'm being totally serious.

Do I see a problem with what? That my child doesn’t want to be a man? No, no I don’t.

The point is that people who identify as non-binary aren’t doing so because they think there is something terrible about being a boy or a girl. They just aren’t a big or a girl.

I am feeling lucky right now that I know what gender is and I know that it’s not binary. Seriously a ten-minute dive into Wikipedia could clear up so many misconceptions on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

I agree with both of you.

The entire idea of spending hours on the internet researching to decide that you are a “Demigirl” or whatever just reeks of self-centered attention seeking. I cannot imagine how far back my eyes would roll if my child told me this. I would probably limit internet time and try to get her to read more actual literature.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

Despite what this generation thinks, there is not a third option.

Google “spectrum” and get back to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

Despite what this generation thinks, there is not a third option.

Actually there are more than 3

https://cadehildreth.com/gender-spectrum/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

Despite what this generation thinks, there is not a third option.

Google “spectrum” and get back to me.

Google “reality” and get back to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not even sure if I like any labels. Aren't we are all somewhere on the spectrum? In any case, labels are helpful for some, but they aren't for everyone, and I think we need to be more flexible with them changing. I'm learning so much talking to my son. He came out as bisexual to me, and he doesn't like labels, so I've been having a lot of talks at home lately about it. Being flexible is important all the way around.

No, thanks, we aren’t

No we really are somewhere in the gender spectrum.

You probably aren’t as masculine or feminine as others your same gender are. You have seen, im sure, very manly men and very feminine women. They are on the extremes of the spectrum. Everyone else is between those extremes, and people who are non-binary are somewhere in the middle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not even sure if I like any labels. Aren't we are all somewhere on the spectrum? In any case, labels are helpful for some, but they aren't for everyone, and I think we need to be more flexible with them changing. I'm learning so much talking to my son. He came out as bisexual to me, and he doesn't like labels, so I've been having a lot of talks at home lately about it. Being flexible is important all the way around.

No, thanks, we aren’t

No we really are somewhere in the gender spectrum.

You probably aren’t as masculine or feminine as others your same gender are. You have seen, im sure, very manly men and very feminine women. They are on the extremes of the spectrum. Everyone else is between those extremes, and people who are non-binary are somewhere in the middle.

Being a feminine man or a masculine woman doesn’t change the reality that you are, in fact, a man or a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

And you don't see a problem with that? That your child is that removed from reality?

She doesn't "want" to be a man? What in the world would your precious like in life, PP? I'm being totally serious.

Do I see a problem with what? That my child doesn’t want to be a man? No, no I don’t.

The point is that people who identify as non-binary aren’t doing so because they think there is something terrible about being a boy or a girl. They just aren’t a big or a girl.

I am feeling lucky right now that I know what gender is and I know that it’s not binary. Seriously a ten-minute dive into Wikipedia could clear up so many misconceptions on this thread.

They've got you snowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

Despite what this generation thinks, there is not a third option.

Google “spectrum” and get back to me.

Google “reality” and get back to me.

Omg are you kidding me? This from the person who is getting their ideas about reality from what their WASP mom told them in 1960? Hi, guess what, there is a ton of science on this, including research from doctors, psychologists, cultural anthropologists, and more, and the reality is that there are more than just two genders. I guess you can live inside your own world all you want but, yeah, that’s not reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

I agree with both of you.

The entire idea of spending hours on the internet researching to decide that you are a “Demigirl” or whatever just reeks of self-centered attention seeking. I cannot imagine how far back my eyes would roll if my child told me this. I would probably limit internet time and try to get her to read more actual literature.

+1

"If my kid came to me with something that was important to them that they had researched and read about, I would roll my eyes and punish them, because I am a Good Parent"

[Anonymous]

PP's post is exactly what bothers me about this.

Just because someone isn't SUPER feminine or masculine, doesn't mean they aren't their cis gender. There are many ways to be female (or male).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like a colossal waste of time and mental energy, apart from kids with actual gender dysphoria.

Also reading this chain made me feel like we are doing girls a disservice but making it seem like being a woman is so terrible and such a burden to carry. FFS.

My child doesn’t think being a woman is terrible, they just don’t identify as one. They don’t want to be a man either.

And you don't see a problem with that? That your child is that removed from reality?

She doesn't "want" to be a man? What in the world would your precious like in life, PP? I'm being totally serious.

Do I see a problem with what? That my child doesn’t want to be a man? No, no I don’t.

The point is that people who identify as non-binary aren’t doing so because they think there is something terrible about being a boy or a girl. They just aren’t a big or a girl.

I am feeling lucky right now that I know what gender is and I know that it’s not binary. Seriously a ten-minute dive into Wikipedia could clear up so many misconceptions on this thread.

They've got you snowed.

They have a mom who loves them and accepts them and makes them do chores and homework and brush their teeth. We are good, thanks.