Wife resents me for not earning more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you! That makes me feel better about my decision- I left w baby 1.

We are expecting baby #3 and every day (including weekends) is a battle over who is actually busier. Of course he thinks it’s *always* him and would never dream of picking up the slack for *me.* I really doubt your husband would be willing to make the sacrifices to his own professional performance it would take for you to make biglaw partner. He probably doesn’t have the foggiest idea what that would actually look like, since he’s only ever had you doing what it took for him to become partner.

Absolutely and it’s not like transitioning to the federal government is just a walk in the park. But since I have child care duty all weekend I got up at 6am both mornings to work until they got up...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very similar situation to mine. I was the wife that resented my husband for leaving biglaw. He took a huge pay cut when I was on maternity leave. We quickly realized that I had to go back to work full time to stay afloat financially. I wanted to spend more time with our DC and continue to build a small business I stared but had to give that all up. It was devastating to me. I ended up going back into consulting and it was highly stressful. I stayed in that job for five years and had no work life balance. We are at the point of divorce. I resent him because the choice he made changed my path for the worse. I also felt like I had to give up having more children.

How much does he make now? Is he otherwise professionally fulfilled? Does he contribute to household tasks? Are you not able to scale back into something not miserable?