PLEASE HELP! Urgent Situation With My Mom In California.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I didn't have time to read the whole thread, but why didn't your mom rent an rv or a trailer that she can stay in while her car was being fixed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thought. You said that the shelters near her in California were full. There are a ton of shelters in the NoVa area including a number just for women. You should call around tomorrow and find out if there are any that have openings. I'm fairly certain that there are. If you find a shelter with an open space, then pay the change fee for her ticket, fly her out to VA and put her in a shelter. If it is close enough, she can come over during the days to allow you to work and not have to multi-task to help kids with their on-line learning and try to work with your boss blowing up your phone. You ask your mother to supervise the kids. If your kids miss a few days of remote learning, it won't be the end of the world. Then you can focus on working.

When you mother objects, just tell her that this is temporary. You can agree that if and when the stay at home orders in California are relaxed, she can contact her old boss. If her boss offers her her old job back, tell her you will buy her the plane ticket to go back to California and resume working. If not, keep her here. The shelter should be a good place for her to stay until either the stay at home orders are cleared and she can resume working, her unemployment payments come through, or until you. lease expires. If your lease expires and she is still in the shelter and still cannot return to California, you can find a slightly bigger place to have her move in. Yes, I understand the pure stress you will be under trying to live in the same home with your mother and all of the problems from your problematic childhood, but the stress of living under the same roof is likely to be less than the stress of trying to multitask working full time, caring for 2 children including schoolwork and trying to help your mother 3300 miles away. If you can just get her here, in a shelter so that you aren't worrying about her surviving the next few hours, that should be worth something.

Your mother cannot stay in California. The temperatures are already hot (80s) and rising. Even if you get her a new car, she won't be able to afford the gas to keep the engine running to run the A/C. At her age and with the dangers of Covid-19 it is very dangerous for her. Between the heat and the pandemic, she's in a lot of danger right now. She needs shelter and food and while you might be able to afford a car, she would then need insurance. She may be uninsured now because she doesn't have a car payment. If you buy a car on a loan with a car payment, the bank/loan holder will require her to have insurance and the first premium will be due before she can take possession of the car. A new car, even a used one, is not a realistic option. Shelters are full. She has no where to stay, can't survive the heat and pandemic; she cannot stay in California.

Most have residency requirements so flying mom out without a clear bed is a really bad idea.

I'm talking about homeless shelters, not senior residences. Homeless shelters provide for people with no fixed address. How can there be a residency requirement for people who have no home?

Yes, they have county residency requirements. Some of us actually work in the field.

[Anonymous]

Op, I’m sorry this is so tough for you. I have a sibling who has a messy life and I love her dearly and I always disrupted my life to help her out. It didn’t end well, which is it’s own sad story, but the point is, I do understand where you are coming from.

In the end, your mother is an adult and need to fix her own problems, and you can be supportive, but it’s not your job to fix them. Your last post shows you know this, but you really need to believe it. Her current situation is due to a lifetime of choices, and she needs to decide to make different choices if she is h happy with the outcome. You cannot fix her problems, she needs to fix them.

As I said, I know this is easier said than done, but your primary responsibility is to your child and to yourself. Don’t give your mom resources (that she doesn’t seem to want or appreciate) that would deprive you and your child of a more stable financial future.

[Anonymous]

Someone may have already suggested this, but you can try contacting churches. We are still providing support services and helping people locate needed resources.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe a word of this. It reads like a troll who likes to make up detailed, convoluted stories just to see how many pages she can rack up of bored DCUM citizens who really want to help.

OP's PLEASE HELP! subject line indicates she thinks people here can offer a solution but it seems as if she rejects most possible solutions. That's typical of a previous troll who liked to make up stories like this.

It's relatively harmless and is obviously entertaining those of you who have dived all the way in, but I still say it's a troll and there is no mom in distress.

(Some of the details, like mom has $2000 in the bank but hasn't had a shower since March, for instance, um, yeah, I don't think so.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thought. You said that the shelters near her in California were full. There are a ton of shelters in the NoVa area including a number just for women. You should call around tomorrow and find out if there are any that have openings. I'm fairly certain that there are. If you find a shelter with an open space, then pay the change fee for her ticket, fly her out to VA and put her in a shelter. If it is close enough, she can come over during the days to allow you to work and not have to multi-task to help kids with their on-line learning and try to work with your boss blowing up your phone. You ask your mother to supervise the kids. If your kids miss a few days of remote learning, it won't be the end of the world. Then you can focus on working.

When you mother objects, just tell her that this is temporary. You can agree that if and when the stay at home orders in California are relaxed, she can contact her old boss. If her boss offers her her old job back, tell her you will buy her the plane ticket to go back to California and resume working. If not, keep her here. The shelter should be a good place for her to stay until either the stay at home orders are cleared and she can resume working, her unemployment payments come through, or until you. lease expires. If your lease expires and she is still in the shelter and still cannot return to California, you can find a slightly bigger place to have her move in. Yes, I understand the pure stress you will be under trying to live in the same home with your mother and all of the problems from your problematic childhood, but the stress of living under the same roof is likely to be less than the stress of trying to multitask working full time, caring for 2 children including schoolwork and trying to help your mother 3300 miles away. If you can just get her here, in a shelter so that you aren't worrying about her surviving the next few hours, that should be worth something.

Your mother cannot stay in California. The temperatures are already hot (80s) and rising. Even if you get her a new car, she won't be able to afford the gas to keep the engine running to run the A/C. At her age and with the dangers of Covid-19 it is very dangerous for her. Between the heat and the pandemic, she's in a lot of danger right now. She needs shelter and food and while you might be able to afford a car, she would then need insurance. She may be uninsured now because she doesn't have a car payment. If you buy a car on a loan with a car payment, the bank/loan holder will require her to have insurance and the first premium will be due before she can take possession of the car. A new car, even a used one, is not a realistic option. Shelters are full. She has no where to stay, can't survive the heat and pandemic; she cannot stay in California.

Most have residency requirements so flying mom out without a clear bed is a really bad idea.

I'm talking about homeless shelters, not senior residences. Homeless shelters provide for people with no fixed address. How can there be a residency requirement for people who have no home?

Yes, they have county residency requirements. Some of us actually work in the field.

How on earth does that work? A lot of homeless people don't even have a drivers license.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe a word of this. It reads like a troll who likes to make up detailed, convoluted stories just to see how many pages she can rack up of bored DCUM citizens who really want to help.

OP's PLEASE HELP! subject line indicates she thinks people here can offer a solution but it seems as if she rejects most possible solutions. That's typical of a previous troll who liked to make up stories like this.

It's relatively harmless and is obviously entertaining those of you who have dived all the way in, but I still say it's a troll and there is no mom in distress.

(Some of the details, like mom has $2000 in the bank but hasn't had a shower since March, for instance, um, yeah, I don't think so.)

Sometimes people adjust the real story so that they aren’t as easily identifiable. I have a wild, real-life situation going on now that even I cannot believe, like an 80s TV private eye show that didn’t age well. While OP could be a troll, the situation is plausible. The problem is that many wealthy people In DCUM have no clue how detached they are from the reality of the poor and working class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe a word of this. It reads like a troll who likes to make up detailed, convoluted stories just to see how many pages she can rack up of bored DCUM citizens who really want to help.

OP's PLEASE HELP! subject line indicates she thinks people here can offer a solution but it seems as if she rejects most possible solutions. That's typical of a previous troll who liked to make up stories like this.

It's relatively harmless and is obviously entertaining those of you who have dived all the way in, but I still say it's a troll and there is no mom in distress.

(Some of the details, like mom has $2000 in the bank but hasn't had a shower since March, for instance, um, yeah, I don't think so.)

Someone already asked Jeff if OP is a troll and Jeff said no.

OP's mom became homeless before she got laid off - she still had money coming in for a while and probably has some money still. I think the mom has drug or mental illness issues, which OP is not stating outright, that are the cause of her homelessness. So the solutions people are offering - buy her a plane ticket and move her into your house - aren't really good solutions. OP has small kids and they need to come first.

[Anonymous]

Okay but buying her a car to live in while it’s 80 degrees outside isn’t a good plan either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe a word of this. It reads like a troll who likes to make up detailed, convoluted stories just to see how many pages she can rack up of bored DCUM citizens who really want to help.

OP's PLEASE HELP! subject line indicates she thinks people here can offer a solution but it seems as if she rejects most possible solutions. That's typical of a previous troll who liked to make up stories like this.

It's relatively harmless and is obviously entertaining those of you who have dived all the way in, but I still say it's a troll and there is no mom in distress.

(Some of the details, like mom has $2000 in the bank but hasn't had a shower since March, for instance, um, yeah, I don't think so.)

+1

I fell for a scam like this more than once on Craigslist. It's sad when people try so hard to get people to help them so they can do drugs. I've been waiting for OP to come back and ask for someone to send money to her fictional mother, or to her so she can help her mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe a word of this. It reads like a troll who likes to make up detailed, convoluted stories just to see how many pages she can rack up of bored DCUM citizens who really want to help.

OP's PLEASE HELP! subject line indicates she thinks people here can offer a solution but it seems as if she rejects most possible solutions. That's typical of a previous troll who liked to make up stories like this.

It's relatively harmless and is obviously entertaining those of you who have dived all the way in, but I still say it's a troll and there is no mom in distress.

(Some of the details, like mom has $2000 in the bank but hasn't had a shower since March, for instance, um, yeah, I don't think so.)

+1

I fell for a scam like this more than once on Craigslist. It's sad when people try so hard to get people to help them so they can do drugs. I've been waiting for OP to come back and ask for someone to send money to her fictional mother, or to her so she can help her mother.

Except OP hasn't asked for money and Jeff says she's a regular, long term poster.

I think OP is real, just withholding or changing some facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused why she had no savings. And I'm suspicious of you saying that she lost her job at the beginning of April and it's now April 28/9 and she's homeless.

Being evicted is a process.

Apparently, you are a fool as most people in this country live paycheck to paycheck,! She worked in an airport and was lucky if she made $15/hr! People like you need to loose everyhing you have so you can develop empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe a word of this. It reads like a troll who likes to make up detailed, convoluted stories just to see how many pages she can rack up of bored DCUM citizens who really want to help.

OP's PLEASE HELP! subject line indicates she thinks people here can offer a solution but it seems as if she rejects most possible solutions. That's typical of a previous troll who liked to make up stories like this.

It's relatively harmless and is obviously entertaining those of you who have dived all the way in, but I still say it's a troll and there is no mom in distress.

(Some of the details, like mom has $2000 in the bank but hasn't had a shower since March, for instance, um, yeah, I don't think so.)

+10000 - sounds like the person is hoping some stranger will send money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe a word of this. It reads like a troll who likes to make up detailed, convoluted stories just to see how many pages she can rack up of bored DCUM citizens who really want to help.

OP's PLEASE HELP! subject line indicates she thinks people here can offer a solution but it seems as if she rejects most possible solutions. That's typical of a previous troll who liked to make up stories like this.

It's relatively harmless and is obviously entertaining those of you who have dived all the way in, but I still say it's a troll and there is no mom in distress.

(Some of the details, like mom has $2000 in the bank but hasn't had a shower since March, for instance, um, yeah, I don't think so.)

+10000 - sounds like the person is hoping some stranger will send money.

To her Anonymous account?

If she's looking for money, the repeated posts that neither she nor her mother are asking for money would seem to be a remarkably inefficient way of getting there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe a word of this. It reads like a troll who likes to make up detailed, convoluted stories just to see how many pages she can rack up of bored DCUM citizens who really want to help.

OP's PLEASE HELP! subject line indicates she thinks people here can offer a solution but it seems as if she rejects most possible solutions. That's typical of a previous troll who liked to make up stories like this.

It's relatively harmless and is obviously entertaining those of you who have dived all the way in, but I still say it's a troll and there is no mom in distress.

(Some of the details, like mom has $2000 in the bank but hasn't had a shower since March, for instance, um, yeah, I don't think so.)

+10000 - sounds like the person is hoping some stranger will send money.

I disagree. This OP sounds legit, and I don’t have an whiff that she’s going to ask for money. Be grateful you don’t have close family members struggling with this.