Implementing no photo sharing rule for in laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I'm convinced this thread is just 3 grandmothers with chips on their shoulder. Maybe instead of derailing a thread you go with on your relationships.

I should have known better than to ask Dcum.

You should definitely not ask questions on DCUM if you don’t want an honest answer. You admitted in your first post you sound crazy and it has been confirmed.

[Anonymous]

It feels like many trolls from all kinds of companies that have invested interest in people sharing things are trolling and responding to honest post like that.
Do not compromise the comfort and safety of your family to satisfy strangers need to know what is going on in your family. Of course you have a right to request that. It is as simple as saying that those pictures are private and only for them
and support this with the simple facts that there are tons of open and closed pedos who browse those things. While you are entirely happy to share the progress of your little ones via pics with them, you are not okay with posting them out there and if this will continue then you will stop sharing. You have the right to your privacy. It is YOUR privacy to protect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cool so all you would be fine with someone texting your child's photos to ppl you have never met? Giving who knows who access to your childs image?

I value and respect my child far more than I care about hurting someone's ego. This is crazy. In this day and age it just isn't safe.

I would be 100% fine with my parents texting photos of my child to people I don’t know. What do you honestly think is going to happen? There are so many REAL concerns. This is not one. You realize people everywhere have access to images of your child? I’m certain they are on security films at some grocery store. No one cares about stealing your child’s image as much as you think they do.

+1 this thread is mostly nuts.

I have kids who are 10 and 12. Most friends and family don't tag our kids without asking. We don't do a lot of social media, but occasional cousin photos, holidays, etc. We text photos around all the time. Some people we know post only pictures where you can't see their kids' faces. Or they post their faces but only refer to them by initials. I don't understand the concern about kids' future online presence, unless you are deliberately posting unflattering or embarrassing items about your child. I think the people who are worried about digital manipulation of their kids into porn are frankly bonkers. There are billions of legit child porn images on the internet, not to mention trillions of easily available "photos of children" so the idea that someone is going to somehow snag a picture of my child and do something awful with it does not trouble me for one second.

I think the threat to our children will come from social media that they or their friends are creating, the legal harvesting of data that could influence everything from their buying behavior to their politics, and identity theft from corporate and government databases. My kids' SSNs were already both exposed when they were very young by the OMB attack.

[Anonymous]

OP, my daughter is 3.5 and off our social media completely. It took until she was about 6 months for family to get used to the idea that we didn’t want them to post my kids pictures but it wasn’t a big deal once they got used to it. I shared photos using an invite only private stream and that helped.

[Anonymous]

^ Also to the trolls, here are two basic reasons not to do this: one posting baby pics announcing/at birth gives the baby’s DOB to hackers and the public for the rest of that baby’s life, and two, when the baby/kid gets older, they are likely to be embarrassed and wish there weren’t a million baby/riddles/kid pics of them on the internet about which they could be teased. These aren’t “horrible” things in the grand scheme of things, but personally, I choose to have more respect for my kids as people, not possessions of mine, and don’t post about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I'm convinced this thread is just 3 grandmothers with chips on their shoulder. Maybe instead of derailing a thread you go with on your relationships.

I should have known better than to ask Dcum.

You should definitely not ask questions on DCUM if you don’t want an honest answer. You admitted in your first post you sound crazy and it has been confirmed.

Op sounds normal to me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ Also to the trolls, here are two basic reasons not to do this: one posting baby pics announcing/at birth gives the baby’s DOB to hackers and the public for the rest of that baby’s life, and two, when the baby/kid gets older, they are likely to be embarrassed and wish there weren’t a million baby/riddles/kid pics of them on the internet about which they could be teased. These aren’t “horrible” things in the grand scheme of things, but personally, I choose to have more respect for my kids as people, not possessions of mine, and don’t post about them.

Your baby’s birth certificate is PUBLIC RECORD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents...hate to break it to you but you had your turn. You have absolutely zero claim to your grandchildren.

I guarantee you this person demands free childcare from the grandparents.

What's up with all the crazy grandparents on this post!?!?

A child is a minor. Grandparents generally suck at computers/internet. I surely don't want my child's face, name, age, birthday, etc plastered over the internet.

[Anonymous]

We have had no problems with our families respecting our requests to not put pics on social media. It helps that 3/4 GPS are either not on FB at all or not especially active, but aunts and uncles have honored the request too. Make sure they know they can show the pics you send to them to other people when they are with them (“look Donna, here are the 500 pics I have of my GKs on my phone”) just not posting them on the internet.

[Anonymous]

If you think MIL would be receptive, make a fuss about how you are soooo glad to know that your kids’ grandparents will protect their safety on the internet, because you have heard so many horror stories about GPS who don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ Also to the trolls, here are two basic reasons not to do this: one posting baby pics announcing/at birth gives the baby’s DOB to hackers and the public for the rest of that baby’s life, and two, when the baby/kid gets older, they are likely to be embarrassed and wish there weren’t a million baby/riddles/kid pics of them on the internet about which they could be teased. These aren’t “horrible” things in the grand scheme of things, but personally, I choose to have more respect for my kids as people, not possessions of mine, and don’t post about them.

People who have a different opinion than you ARE NOT TROLLS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents...hate to break it to you but you had your turn. You have absolutely zero claim to your grandchildren.

I guarantee you this person demands free childcare from the grandparents.

What's up with all the crazy grandparents on this post!?!?

A child is a minor. Grandparents generally suck at computers/internet. I surely don't want my child's face, name, age, birthday, etc plastered over the internet.

+1.

I don't think it is unreasonable if parents do not want images of their children online or passed around without their consent. It doesn't matter why they don't want photos up because it is nobody else's decision but the parents' regardless of how anyone else feels about it. It isn't their news to share.

If they were actually friends or family of the couple (aka: actually interested) then they would receive updates from the parents. To show anyone else, they should ask permission. "Hey, do you mind if I get a photo of XX and I to show my friends from church/bridge/whatever?"

Another reason to remove or blind your children's identities from the internet is that people can target not just the information about your children for identity theft but also kidnapping or trafficking. Beyond location information (like the parks you frequent or your neighborhood), information on preferences can become grooming tools. Also, a lot of people dealing with domestic violence, stalking, etc, do not want to share that information with people especially when someone is still attempting to hunt them down...

FWIW, my ILs have already proven untrustworthy by passing images around so any photos that are shared with them have the eyes/face blocked with a white zigzag or emojis blocking the child's face. Generally, that solves it because it protects their privacy. They can't undo it, either. Sour grapes now.

People that are respectful, not plastering the photos on open accounts, and have good common sense are free to show pre-approved photos from their phone or to post with restricted settings. It isn't that hard and not unreasonable. It isn't worth sabotaging your relationship with the parents or the children themselves when they are older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cool so all you would be fine with someone texting your child's photos to ppl you have never met? Giving who knows who access to your childs image?

I value and respect my child far more than I care about hurting someone's ego. This is crazy. In this day and age it just isn't safe.

.

I would honestly have no problem with it. And I also value my child.

People who are the grandparents' close friends and extended relatives, in a text, not posting on Facebook? No problem at all.

41 and no issue with the sharing at all. Think OP etc sound totally paranoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Also to the trolls, here are two basic reasons not to do this: one posting baby pics announcing/at birth gives the baby’s DOB to hackers and the public for the rest of that baby’s life, and two, when the baby/kid gets older, they are likely to be embarrassed and wish there weren’t a million baby/riddles/kid pics of them on the internet about which they could be teased. These aren’t “horrible” things in the grand scheme of things, but personally, I choose to have more respect for my kids as people, not possessions of mine, and don’t post about them.

People who have a different opinion than you ARE NOT TROLLS.

THANK YOU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I'm convinced this thread is just 3 grandmothers with chips on their shoulder. Maybe instead of derailing a thread you go with on your relationships.

I should have known better than to ask Dcum.

You should definitely not ask questions on DCUM if you don’t want an honest answer. You admitted in your first post you sound crazy and it has been confirmed.

Yup.

You said you’re sure you sound crazy and those of us with older kids confirm that. You should invest in masks now, a la Michael Jackson’s kids.