How much do you pay for in-home care for an infant?

[Anonymous]

YES.. by all means some parents do pick up when they are off early. You know what? Some providers don't mind if once in a while you leave your child in care and get a few things done. Maybe the next time you're done early you'll be able to pick up your kids early.

Specifically to the post above me, I'm not sure how to distinguish one anonymous post from the next. By all means some posters here have shown that they don't think of their care provider as just someone doing a service for them.. and realize that they are real people with kids, husbands, chores to do and bills to pay too.

[Anonymous]

Hello EVERYONE:
OK i have just read this thread from start to finish making sure to read carefully as I wouldnt want to be called stupid or idiotic for reading something wrong or missing something and I have to say this is all STUPID... firstly half of you are writting back to different people and not even realizing it, your mad at 2 or 3 peoples comments and not even realizing that they were written by a couple different people. Either people need to sign in and give themselves name or use a nickname or your name when posting so people know who you are speaking to and about. I notice Judy was one of the only people to put herself out there with her name, and as much as saying im writing this to the 12:13 post or whatever if everyones not doing that then somewhere the wires are being crossed. So just stop stop stop your all being very petty and silly and it kind of feels like we are in grade school again with the arguing and not allowing it to just be. So you disagree with something someone has said say your peace and move on.. this crazy back and forth bullshit of putting each other down or saying your same point is pointless as you can see we are at page 10 now and no where near an end if this keeps up. So say who you are and speak to a certain person. Help make this much easier instead of just a whole bunch of anonymous people writting stuff to other anonymous people.
Oh by the way im Christie if you want to say something back to me.

[Anonymous]

Christie here again and oops page 11 now my bad!

[Anonymous]

Christie: I get what you are saying, but I think we all actually know that there are multiple posters. If I intend to respond to a specific poster, I say so.

21:21: no exceptions, ever? What if a parent has a car accident and that makes them late or something along those lines? Have you no compassion?

21:48: First, if you are truly with your child *all of the time*, that isn’t healthy. Kids need to sometimes be away from their parents.

You don’t know anything about individual circumstances of other posters, so some blanket statement that everyone would “make it happen” if they wanted to be home with their kids is just inappropriate and wrong. An easy example: what about single moms? How are they supposed to support their kids and themselves if they don’t work. You should really thank your lucky stars that you found a way to make it work and you still have a modest home, etc. etc. Not everyone is as fortunate as you. Be glad you are where you are and get off your high horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
21:21: no exceptions, ever? What if a parent has a car accident and that makes them late or something along those lines? Have you no compassion?

M2B here, aka "21:21"

I guess I should have clarified. Exceptions as in extending our hours, accepting late payment, accepting children who are sick into care or changing how we run our day home to suit one child. Those sorts of things. A car accident would be an extraordinary thing. Parents are generally required to have an emergency contact though, and that person would be called to come and get the child if the parent is unable to for some reason because there is no guarantee that the provider will be available for the hours needed to handle a true emergency.

[Anonymous]

I am the 12/15/2009 post at 22:19 on page 1 of this thread, I think I am the original one to upset a care provider and I really did not intend to start a debate of this size. If you read what I wrote carefully, it actually did not show disrespect to daycare providers generally. The negative comment about the ranting care provider (that I would not want her caring for my children) went to how easy she was to anger and assume the worst about the motive behind someone's understandable question. I stand by that point, I would not want that person or anyone with that type of temperament caring for my child.

The parents asking questions about payment/billing practices were doing exactly that, asking questions because they did not understand the practice. I attempted to explain the billing practice in a way that it did not seem unreasonable. I really do not think that anyone (and I have not read it all) disputes that people in all careers deserve a break, nor does anyone debate that childcare is hard work.

I have the utmost respect for the teachers and caregivers that take care of my children. I have never been late to pick up either of my children (not that this could never happen to me, I am sure it will someday), I always pay on time and I am not cheap, I pay a preschool and a center well to take care of my girls. I also help with fundraisers and contribute to parties, chaperone on field trips, or really do almost anything that is asked of me to help the schools. I also give gifts of appreciation and I treat the teachers caregivers and directors with friendship, kindness and respect every day. I consider them valuable partners in the raising of the people most precious to me.

[Anonymous]

M2B: does that stand for "Mom to be"?

If so, that's sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:M2B: does that stand for "Mom to be"?

If so, that's sweet.

No, I'm passed that stage of my life. I have 2 boys.. one of them chose that screen name for me a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:



I disagree - even though I want to be with my child all the time, this just isn't realistic. Besides, you don't want them to be with you constantly - how in the world would they ever learn to relate to other people if they were constantly with Mommy? I suggest you give up the fight on this one - you are grasping at straws. You can't honestly believe anyone is buying this load of crap that you are trying to sell.

This is a total load of crap. If you wanted to be with your child you would, PERIOD!
I wanted to be with my child, so my husband and I made appropriate concessions to make that happen. I'm not a daycare provider, and I don't use one, but I take offense to any parent who says that being with their child all the time "just isn't realistic". If you want to be with your child you'll find a way. We planned for years, saving and budgeting to make it happen. We live in a modest home, in a nice neighborhood. We have only one car, we don't eat out in restaurants often or buy expensive designer clothes but we're happy, because we are raising our child, not someone else.
As for relating to other people, well there are playgroups, libraries, parks and a wealth of other places you can take you child to get interaction.
Please, stop shoveling out the crap about what's realistic, we all choose our destinies

I totally agree with this. Before I had children I was in University to be a nurse. Guess what? Once my first child was born I decided to stay home. Why? Because I value my children. I did not want anyone else raising them. I understand that I am important to my children. So, yes, they would rather watch me mop than be at a daycare. Once my children were old enough to go to school full time, I opened my own dayhome and it breaks my heart to see the parents who don't pick up early, when they are off early. I had a parent home from work all week this week and do you think they could spend even an extra hour with their child? No, he was still the first one dropped off in the morning and the last one to leave at the end of the day. Are you telling me a child who is with me 50 hours a week wouldn't enjoy a day home with his parents? Or even an extra hour in the morning or afternoon with his parents? Well the parents didn't think so because they had to squeeze every last minute out of care. Why because they paid for it. It is just sad that they don't think that their son's emotional well being is worth more than money, as is the case with some of you.

[Anonymous]

I am 17:27. I was not angry and I did not rant in that post. The fact that 22:19 called my comments a "rant" and so disrespectfully said she wouldn't want a provider like me caring for her children is what set this whole thing off. I was attempting to show the providers point of view and explain some of the process and financial aspects on our side. Not to mention the physical and mental need for rest.

It's interesting to me that because I spoke up and didn't like something a parent said, you automatically assumed so much about me, "I suspect it is the same person who ranted on this same subject in the daycare forum". Actually I never have.

I have provided in home care for over 18 years. I have sent countless children off to Kindergarten over the years, I have rocked many babies. And I love and have loved each of them. Just this week I bought boyscout popcorn and e-mailed with a 7 year old that I had in care from infancy to preschool. Yes, the family and I still keep in touch. And most of my families do keep in touch. I won't go into what else I do with my life regarding children because this thread has gotten so ugly I do want to remain anonymous, except to say that I spent yesterday by invitation as a guest speaker with the outgoing governors wife, in Richmond here: http://www.cpe.vt.edu/gttc/ and I promise no one there was worried about the care I provide and have provided to VA's children and they see what I do day in and day out.
If anyone was "quick" to do anything, anger, assume, etc. it was not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



I disagree - even though I want to be with my child all the time, this just isn't realistic. Besides, you don't want them to be with you constantly - how in the world would they ever learn to relate to other people if they were constantly with Mommy? I suggest you give up the fight on this one - you are grasping at straws. You can't honestly believe anyone is buying this load of crap that you are trying to sell.

This is a total load of crap. If you wanted to be with your child you would, PERIOD!
I wanted to be with my child, so my husband and I made appropriate concessions to make that happen. I'm not a daycare provider, and I don't use one, but I take offense to any parent who says that being with their child all the time "just isn't realistic". If you want to be with your child you'll find a way. We planned for years, saving and budgeting to make it happen. We live in a modest home, in a nice neighborhood. We have only one car, we don't eat out in restaurants often or buy expensive designer clothes but we're happy, because we are raising our child, not someone else.
As for relating to other people, well there are playgroups, libraries, parks and a wealth of other places you can take you child to get interaction.
Please, stop shoveling out the crap about what's realistic, we all choose our destinies

I totally agree with this. Before I had children I was in University to be a nurse. Guess what? Once my first child was born I decided to stay home. Why? Because I value my children. I did not want anyone else raising them. I understand that I am important to my children. So, yes, they would rather watch me mop than be at a daycare. Once my children were old enough to go to school full time, I opened my own dayhome and it breaks my heart to see the parents who don't pick up early, when they are off early. I had a parent home from work all week this week and do you think they could spend even an extra hour with their child? No, he was still the first one dropped off in the morning and the last one to leave at the end of the day. Are you telling me a child who is with me 50 hours a week wouldn't enjoy a day home with his parents? Or even an extra hour in the morning or afternoon with his parents? Well the parents didn't think so because they had to squeeze every last minute out of care. Why because they paid for it. It is just sad that they don't think that their son's emotional well being is worth more than money, as is the case with some of you.

It is a valid choice to stay home and raise a child. It is not the only choice and there is no need to imply that those who choose differently do not value their children. It is simply not useful to try and extrapolate an analysis about all working parents and how much they value their children based on your small experience. Recall that you dropped out of school, so I suspect you are not a qualified research scientist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 17:27. I was not angry and I did not rant in that post. The fact that 22:19 called my comments a "rant" and so disrespectfully said she wouldn't want a provider like me caring for her children is what set this whole thing off. I was attempting to show the providers point of view and explain some of the process and financial aspects on our side. Not to mention the physical and mental need for rest.

It's interesting to me that because I spoke up and didn't like something a parent said, you automatically assumed so much about me, "I suspect it is the same person who ranted on this same subject in the daycare forum". Actually I never have.

I have provided in home care for over 18 years. I have sent countless children off to Kindergarten over the years, I have rocked many babies. And I love and have loved each of them. Just this week I bought boyscout popcorn and e-mailed with a 7 year old that I had in care from infancy to preschool. Yes, the family and I still keep in touch. And most of my families do keep in touch. I won't go into what else I do with my life regarding children because this thread has gotten so ugly I do want to remain anonymous, except to say that I spent yesterday by invitation as a guest speaker with the outgoing governors wife, in Richmond here: http://www.cpe.vt.edu/gttc/ and I promise no one there was worried about the care I provide and have provided to VA's children and they see what I do day in and day out.
If anyone was "quick" to do anything, anger, assume, etc. it was not me.

I am the poster you are responding to. Here is why I characterized it as a rant:

Question you were responding to:

“Paying $250 a week. The daycare providers hours are 0730-1730. And like PP, we have to pay for the two weeks she takes off. I don't get that. Can someone explain that to me??”

Your answer:

“You don't get that?? Wow. Someone who takes care of your most precious gift in life doesn't deserve paid days off as you receive at your full-time job?

Providers need a break. A time to recharge. You want them at their best for your child, but if a provider can't afford to be off and be out the income they will not take the much needed break.

Providers work on average 50-60 hours per week plus time spent in the evenings and on weekends cleaning, buying supplies, planning curriculum, etc. Being a daycare provider is one of the hardest jobs in the world and one of the most thankless at times too.

BEFORE expenses providers in this area make an average of $4.00 an hour per child. And as I said, that is before expenses, before food, before toys, before insurance, before self-employment taxes, before Social Security, before paying staff, before craft and curriculum supplies, etc.”

She asked for an explanation and rather than explain that your pricing for a service was averaged out on a weekly basis for a year and incorporated two weeks off (as opposed to charging slightly higher rates for the 50 weeks a year you provide care and not charging for those two weeks), you decided to lecture the poster on why you need a vacation. She never said that caregivers are not entitled to a vacation, she did not understand the pricing structure. Your response was antagonistic, assumed a negative perspective on the part of the person asking the question and did not answer the question asked, that is why I characterized it as a rant.

I apologize if I assumed you were another poster that went off on this same subject in the daycare folder in the past two weeks.

[Anonymous]

Oh gee, it only took 11 pages for some SAHMs to start insulting the working moms. Sheesh, ladies, count your blessings if you are so proud of and contented with your lives and stop judging the rest of us, about whom you know nothing.

It is usually the people who crow the loudest about how proud they are about their choices, blah, blah, blah, that are full of shit and are covering up how they really feel. Truly confident, happy people don't have to go around pointing fingers and belittling others to make themselves feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent who has the utmost respect for her child care providers (currently center-based and previously with a nanny), this thread makes me lose a lot of respect for in-home providers. Perhaps you need a better system for interviewing parents if you are this bitter bc so many seem to try to take advantage of you.

There is often lots of hostility on the nanny forum but this seems worse. The anger and bitterness pours out of your statements (all the DCPs) and your blog (Judy) and while, you claim to love the kids, you speak about them in such a nasty tone.

I do no begrudge you vacation pay, on-time tuition payments, or daily internet use while the childre play or sleep, but I cannot fathom why you stay in the business when you seem so disillusioned with it.

Do you even know what the words 'sarcastic and acrimonious' mean? I'm thinking you do NOT.

Judy

I'm thinking you don't, either.

[Anonymous]

Wow..... a thread on general parenting has actually brought out more nutcases than the nanny forum. This Judy is certifiable and the crazy SAHM needs to go back to school.