How much do you pay for in-home care for an infant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some People seem to be forgetting that 99% of daycare providers are also parents.

OH! If you are also parents then you are working with the children of strangers (gasp!) instead of devoting your every waking moment to your children (double gasp). And if you are parents, then you, too, must be the rude, inconsiderate morons you accuse the rest of us of being. But if you are not shitting on another daycare provider, who are you shitting on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I don't provide care for people that are off cleaning their homes, doing errands or groceries.

And how exactly do you monitor this?

I don't monitor it, it just sends a message to families. Many years ago I had a family that would be a good 20 minutes late picking up because the mother would drive past my home so she should go to the grocery store on her own. I had to confront this mom that it was not acceptable. This is when I came up with wording in my ads, and it does help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I actually have in my ads and business papers that this is your childs home away from home while you are at work or school. Sorry, but I don't provide care for people that are off cleaning their homes, doing errands or groceries. In fact I can clean my home while the children are here to some degree. And I have to say I absolutely hate the term "watch my child". I sure don't sit here and just watch the kids - I interact with them.
As I was reading through these 10 pages of posts (on my own time), I started to chuckle to myself because a few of you were quite rude after the brief discussion of why the providers are online during working hours - I ask that of you primary care parents - why are you online and not caring and having fun with your child???"

You missed the point entirely, and this post makes you look idiotic.

First off how rude to call someone that you've never met idiotic.
Now would you care to explain why this makes someone look idiotic???????

[Anonymous]

I am the poster you are responding to. Here is why I characterized it as a rant:

Question you were responding to:

“Paying $250 a week. The daycare providers hours are 0730-1730. And like PP, we have to pay for the two weeks she takes off. I don't get that. Can someone explain that to me??”

Your answer:

“You don't get that?? Wow. Someone who takes care of your most precious gift in life doesn't deserve paid days off as you receive at your full-time job?

Providers need a break. A time to recharge. You want them at their best for your child, but if a provider can't afford to be off and be out the income they will not take the much needed break.

Providers work on average 50-60 hours per week plus time spent in the evenings and on weekends cleaning, buying supplies, planning curriculum, etc. Being a daycare provider is one of the hardest jobs in the world and one of the most thankless at times too.

BEFORE expenses providers in this area make an average of $4.00 an hour per child. And as I said, that is before expenses, before food, before toys, before insurance, before self-employment taxes, before Social Security, before paying staff, before craft and curriculum supplies, etc.”

She asked for an explanation and rather than explain that your pricing for a service was averaged out on a weekly basis for a year and incorporated two weeks off (as opposed to charging slightly higher rates for the 50 weeks a year you provide care and not charging for those two weeks), you decided to lecture the poster on why you need a vacation. She never said that caregivers are not entitled to a vacation, she did not understand the pricing structure. Your response was antagonistic, assumed a negative perspective on the part of the person asking the question and did not answer the question asked, that is why I characterized it as a rant.



Thank you PP. I am the original poster that asked why we are paying while they are taking vacation. Yes; I feel like a dumb ass for not knowing the reason, but I'm also a new mom (going on 11 weeks) with little sleep (all of you can relate). My question was probably also in frustration that I have to pay for those two weeks and still take off work or find another daycare alternative. That being said; I totally believe a day care provider earns the right to their time off!!!

I do take offense to those that feel that because I choose to work; I'm in the wrong. It breaks my heart that I will be going back to work in a few weeks, but it's just too hard in the NOVA. Yes some of you will say that if I really wanted to stay home with DS, that I could learn to live with less things. This was how my life was growing up; I don't want that for my child. Yes I understand that time with my child is more important than things. But I also believe he needs the social skills learned in an outside environment. I believe that my day care provider can do so many more things than I can, because she is the SME (subject matter expert).

I also take offense to those that rant about what the parents are doing while their child is at day care. My day care provider charges for 5 days. I only work 4. So should I not have my child go that 5th day? I should just throw that money away? Yes some of you will say, you signed that contract/you chose that provider. You're right; I did. I interviewed her and I felt full confidence in her abilities. I completely trust her and her loads of experience. I will use that 5th day to get things done around the house and run errands but I fully intend on picking DS up as soon as those things are done. I also look at it as; I will have all those things done and will be able to give DS my full attention Saturdays/Sundays, rather than having to run those errands/clean the house while still trying to take care of him those two days. That's my justification. I'm sure some posters will still have a problem with it.

[Anonymous]

I personally don't have an issue with parents bringing their kids to me on their off days on occasion. I didn't do that with Olivia (my daughter) when she was in daycare because she was in daycare for really long hours each day because I had a pretty long commute. But I understand the challenges that go along with trying to get things done with little ones around. I understand where parents are coming from, I know that most parents would love to be home with their kids instead of working and losing that precious time with their little ones. Please keep this in mind: the relationship that you have with your provider is not like the relationship that employees share with bosses. It's like apples and oranges. You are trusting someone with your child, and that is completely different than any other business relationship. Or at least it should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some People seem to be forgetting that 99% of daycare providers are also parents.

OH! If you are also parents then you are working with the children of strangers (gasp!) instead of devoting your every waking moment to your children (double gasp). And if you are parents, then you, too, must be the rude, inconsiderate morons you accuse the rest of us of being. But if you are not shitting on another daycare provider, who are you shitting on?

First, I don't think the word "moron" has been used anywhere in this thread. But yes, We are parents, and NOT the rude inconsiderate parents who drop their kids off at daycare the moment the door open, and leave then until 15 seconds before closing, because they are home with us. And, we don't shit on other daycare providers, because providers are a tight knit community who lean on each other for support and friendship.

And yes (gasp!) we are working with the children of strangers, BUT (double gasp!) we put our children before yours, ALWAYS!! That may be a real slap in the face for you, but that's the truth and any provider who tells you they put their daycare kids before their own are lying. But that's perhaps a subject for another thread as this thread has clearly gotten off track and out of hand.


Have a wonderful day! I know I will. I started vacation today and won't be working again until Jan 4th. Ah, the life of a provider is so grand!!

[Anonymous]

I also take offense to those that rant about what the parents are doing while their child is at day care. My day care provider charges for 5 days. I only work 4. So should I not have my child go that 5th day? I should just throw that money away? Yes some of you will say, you signed that contract/you chose that provider. You're right; I did. I interviewed her and I felt full confidence in her abilities. I completely trust her and her loads of experience. I will use that 5th day to get things done around the house and run errands but I fully intend on picking DS up as soon as those things are done. I also look at it as; I will have all those things done and will be able to give DS my full attention Saturdays/Sundays, rather than having to run those errands/clean the house while still trying to take care of him those two days. That's my justification. I'm sure some posters will still have a problem with it.

Oh, look out - some of these people are going to Child Protective Services on you! That was my point completely. The hour I can spend getting things done means I can have the weekends to totally devote to my child. Have none of you discovered that an hour alone without your child means you can get more things done than if your child was there? I bust my ass in that hour so I can get my son and focus on him 100%. But some people don't get that - they would rather point out how WRONG it is for me not to want to spend time with him. You are completely off base. Are there shitty parents out there? Yes. There are also shitty providers - I have interviewed them, and had the unfortunate experience of using one for 7 weeks. I arrived early and found my child in DEPLORABLE condition. I complained to the licensing agency and guess what? She is still in business. So for all you providers that are so quick to assume all parents are horrible based on one experience, keep that in mind. I had a horrible experience with a provider. Do I think you are all horrible? No. In fact, the provider I have now is wonderful. I consider her my friend, and we work as partners in raising my child. She provides a wonderful environment for him. The other children she cares for all love one another. It's more than I could ask for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, I don't think the word "moron" has been used anywhere in this thread. But yes, We are parents, and NOT the rude inconsiderate parents who drop their kids off at daycare the moment the door open, and leave then until 15 seconds before closing, because they are home with us. And, we don't shit on other daycare providers, because providers are a tight knit community who lean on each other for support and friendship. And yes (gasp!) we are working with the children of strangers, BUT (double gasp!) we put our children before yours, ALWAYS!! That may be a real slap in the face for you, but that's the truth and any provider who tells you they put their daycare kids before their own are lying. But that's perhaps a subject for another thread as this thread has clearly gotten off track and out of hand.

I guess you could not see the tongue in my cheek with your head up your ass.

[Anonymous]

OMG, what a bunch of rude potty mouthed people are on this board. Absolutely disgusting and middle school aged behaviour.
Thank goodness none of you parents are my clients and referred to me in the manner you talk on this board!

[Anonymous]

OMG, what a bunch of rude potty mouthed people are on this board. Absolutely disgusting and middle school aged behaviour.
Thank goodness none of you parents are my clients and referred to me in the manner you talk on this board!

Oh please - grow up. I'm sure the words used in this thread aren't any you haven't heard or used yourself. Please don't chastise me or others for their "potty mouths" when there are far more offensive things in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, what a bunch of rude potty mouthed people are on this board. Absolutely disgusting and middle school aged behaviour.
Thank goodness none of you parents are my clients and referred to me in the manner you talk on this board!

How do you know if any responders on an anonymous forum are your clients?

[Anonymous]

NP here. A number of the daycare providers' comments do seem bitter. But, to me, this is why I try to have the best relationship possible with the person who cares for my child. It is difficult to know what happens and how they care for my child when I'm not there. I love my current in-home daycare, but you can never tell. I figure I increase the chances of my child getting better care if I am nice and respectful to the provider. Then, I do my due diligence and check up, etc. to make sure that they are providing the level of care I expect. As a former teacher, I know that, while I tried hard not to let impolite parents' behavior impact how I felt about their kids, it's so tough not to!

[Anonymous]

I just saw this post today and LOVE Judy!!! I'm amazed at the number of parents who are bent out of shape by her comments. As much as they claim otherwise, perhaps subconsciously they recognize they've transgressed upon occasion.

My MIL has been an in-home provider for 30+ years and we're lucky to live nearby so she cares for our kids along with the 10 others that she has (she has 2 assistants). DH grew up with the daycare in is home so I've heard and seen LOTS. First of all, my MIL is not a service provider. She's a teacher and caregiver. They are not the same as a service provider. If you treat her like a service provider, she'll give you two weeks notice. Second, most of the parents she has are really great and they've had mutually satisfying relationships lasting years after the child has left my MIL's care. But, I have been amazed at the behavior of some parents. You know the addage that 10% of the people cause 90% of your problems? And OH! What problems they are!

The most challenging problem is the late payers. My MIL has expenses and just because you don't pay on time (or don't bring your kid in) doesn't mean she can be late on paying her staff, paying her credit card, etc. When you don't pay on time, it's like you're getting an interest free loan, at my MIL's expense.

The parents who get pissed because my MIL takes a vacation - as indicated in the contract. Or, they want 6 months notice when she's taking leave. How many people know 6 months in advance when they're going to take leave?

The parents who don't dress their kids appropriately. One parent routinely brings a child in who's outgrown his clothes: the onesie can't be snapped at the crotch - and just let's it flap, heels hanging out the back of the crocks, shirts that sit above his belly button, the coat that doesn't even come to his wrists. One day, he arrived in his pajamas and no clothes to change into. The parents that have to be told to bathe their children and wash carseats (stinky from spilt formula, crusty from where the head rests, etc.). The kids who have outgrown their carseats. I'm amazed at what parents will do.

Parents who bring junk food for their kids. First of all, MIL has a meal plan and even if she didn't do you think she's going to let one child eat something if they all can't eat it as well?

Parents who are late but don't call. My MIL has things to do after hours. You being late is like forced overtime for her. Some days she's okay with that but what about when she needs to get out of the house so she can attend our DS's (her grandchild) school event or birthday party or her something for her own entertainment.

Parent's who don't have backup care. Even I have a backup plan. No one wants your sick kid left at the daycare and no, she just can't put the kid in another room. If you can't pick your kid in a timely manner, find someone who can!

Accidents happen. Your child will trip, pants may get torn, another child (or your child) may bite or hit. Toys sometimes get thrown. It's all part of children learning. My MIL will tell you about any event but don't expect her to replace your child's clothing because of a hole in the knee (or elbow) or paint. If you don't want to risk an article of clothing getting a hole or stained, keep it at home.

If your provider gives you information on a parenting class, TAKE THE HINT. I can't tell you how many fliers she's handed out for a positive discipline class and the parents don't bother. If my MIL provides that to you it's because she suspects there's a problem and after 30 years SHE KNOWS! In fact, it not just her. Other parents can tell if you're disciplining your child appropriately.

If your provider suggests or provides you with information on early intervention, DO IT. After 30 years of childcare and having been a teacher for 10, she's good at detecting kids with challenges. She's looking out for the best interest of your child and it would behoove you to listen to her.

If your child is challenging, my MIL is happy to work with you if you are trying to do the right thing. If you're not trying to address your child's challenges (including disciplining appropriately), your child may become too disruptive or require too much attention. It's not fair to the other kids or my MIL and she will give you 2 weeks notice if you're not making an effort.

Don't underestimate your child's love for my MIL. She's not the parent but over any given week, she spend about as much time with your conscious child as you do. She's an incredibly important part of your child's life and is a huge influence. You may think of her as a service provider but she's not and your child doesn't think she is either.

My MIL often knows what's going on at your house. You may not think your child overheard you but they often do. Even if they don't understand what was said, many times they can repeat it verbatim. She also can tell how you talk to your child when you're angry because the child will use the same words when she's angry. Children will often act out when there are problems at home. She can tell.

Again, most of the parents with my MIL are great. Others, well, my MIL has a waiting list and if things aren't working out with you, there are always people willing to take your spot.

[Anonymous]

I just saw this post today and LOVE Judy!!! I'm amazed at the number of parents who are bent out of shape by her comments. As much as they claim otherwise, perhaps subconsciously they recognize they've transgressed upon occasion.

My MIL has been an in-home provider for 30+ years and we're lucky to live nearby so she cares for our kids along with the 10 others that she has (she has 2 assistants). DH grew up with the daycare in is home so I've heard and seen LOTS. First of all, my MIL is not a service provider. She's a teacher and caregiver. They are not the same as a service provider. If you treat her like a service provider, she'll give you two weeks notice. Second, most of the parents she has are really great and they've had mutually satisfying relationships lasting years after the child has left my MIL's care. But, I have been amazed at the behavior of some parents. You know the addage that 10% of the people cause 90% of your problems? And OH! What problems they are!

The most challenging problem is the late payers. My MIL has expenses and just because you don't pay on time (or don't bring your kid in) doesn't mean she can be late on paying her staff, paying her credit card, etc. When you don't pay on time, it's like you're getting an interest free loan, at my MIL's expense.

The parents who get pissed because my MIL takes a vacation - as indicated in the contract. Or, they want 6 months notice when she's taking leave. How many people know 6 months in advance when they're going to take leave?

The parents who don't dress their kids appropriately. One parent routinely brings a child in who's outgrown his clothes: the onesie can't be snapped at the crotch - and just let's it flap, heels hanging out the back of the crocks, shirts that sit above his belly button, the coat that doesn't even come to his wrists. One day, he arrived in his pajamas and no clothes to change into. The parents that have to be told to bathe their children and wash carseats (stinky from spilt formula, crusty from where the head rests, etc.). The kids who have outgrown their carseats. I'm amazed at what parents will do.

Parents who bring junk food for their kids. First of all, MIL has a meal plan and even if she didn't do you think she's going to let one child eat something if they all can't eat it as well?

Parents who are late but don't call. My MIL has things to do after hours. You being late is like forced overtime for her. Some days she's okay with that but what about when she needs to get out of the house so she can attend our DS's (her grandchild) school event or birthday party or her something for her own entertainment.

Parent's who don't have backup care. Even I have a backup plan. No one wants your sick kid left at the daycare and no, she just can't put the kid in another room. If you can't pick your kid in a timely manner, find someone who can!

Accidents happen. Your child will trip, pants may get torn, another child (or your child) may bite or hit. Toys sometimes get thrown. It's all part of children learning. My MIL will tell you about any event but don't expect her to replace your child's clothing because of a hole in the knee (or elbow) or paint. If you don't want to risk an article of clothing getting a hole or stained, keep it at home.

If your provider gives you information on a parenting class, TAKE THE HINT. I can't tell you how many fliers she's handed out for a positive discipline class and the parents don't bother. If my MIL provides that to you it's because she suspects there's a problem and after 30 years SHE KNOWS! In fact, it not just her. Other parents can tell if you're disciplining your child appropriately.

If your provider suggests or provides you with information on early intervention, DO IT. After 30 years of childcare and having been a teacher for 10, she's good at detecting kids with challenges. She's looking out for the best interest of your child and it would behoove you to listen to her.

If your child is challenging, my MIL is happy to work with you if you are trying to do the right thing. If you're not trying to address your child's challenges (including disciplining appropriately), your child may become too disruptive or require too much attention. It's not fair to the other kids or my MIL and she will give you 2 weeks notice if you're not making an effort.

Don't underestimate your child's love for my MIL. She's not the parent but over any given week, she spend about as much time with your conscious child as you do. She's an incredibly important part of your child's life and is a huge influence. You may think of her as a service provider but she's not and your child doesn't think she is either.

My MIL often knows what's going on at your house. You may not think your child overheard you but they often do. Even if they don't understand what was said, many times they can repeat it verbatim. She also can tell how you talk to your child when you're angry because the child will use the same words when she's angry. Children will often act out when there are problems at home. She can tell.

Again, most of the parents with my MIL are great. Others, well, my MIL has a waiting list and if things aren't working out with you, there are always people willing to take your spot.

I think what you fail to realize about why the parents on this thread are upset - the providers are lumping us all into the same category - and you just did the same thing! We don't ALL do this! Why are you continuing to assume we are all like this?

[Anonymous]

I think what you fail to realize about why the parents on this thread are upset - the providers are lumping us all into the same category - and you just did the same thing! We don't ALL do this! Why are you continuing to assume we are all like this?

It would be nice to see for once on DCUM a thread appreciating providers. Not moaning about vacation pay, not debating over how little or how much they deserve during the holidays be it a gift or a bonus (none of us expect to receive either and that's okay by me), not bad mouthing 30 minutes of TV time because the provider needed to cook a hot meal for your child.

Some of you were discussing how hard it is to get things done with ONE child at home, so you take them to daycare on your day off to get things done. That's all well and good, but are you the same parents who badmouth US for needing to turn the TV on for 30 minutes to an educational program to clean up from lunch or get ready for the next activity??? Think about THAT for a minute.