Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon

[Anonymous]

Wow, this thread took a turn with the Garbage Wife #2. Um, remember those are his kids -- that he decided to bring into the world, and he is the parent in the situation. Of course they go to him for money. That was probably his role and the thing he held over them for years. They learned to do that at some point. How absolutely mean and selfish to shun those kids and to plan trips that you knew they wouldn't enjoy, and that you could take with your family and DH's other kids. Barf. They are kids, not the adults in the family dynamic. He should have tried to maintain a better relationship with them. Will you be OK if he treats your child that way some day? I find this really sad, and that you're proud of it. That does not seem very maternal to me. You show obvious disdain for your DH's other children.

[Anonymous]

To the OP, I'm a divorced, single mom. I have my kids the majority of the time. My ex constantly shirks the little responsibility that he has for the kids' day-to-day lives. I take care of everything and it's a huge responsibility on top of everything else I have going on in my life.

Even though I expect I would feel the same way -- because I know I'd like to have a fun two-week vacation without having to worry about my kids' welfare (he knows they are safe and cared for with you)...I would say yes because it is the best thing for your kids.

Who knows whether he will reciprocate in the future? Mine would not. But I never feel bad taking the high road. He is not able to make decisions that are in the kids' best interests, so I do it. Plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

That you would deliberately sabatoge a child's relationship with their parent is pure evil. There is a special place in hell reserved for people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really feel bad for all children (and adult children) mentioned in this thread...

My kids are doing fine. Once Wife #2 didn’t get her vanity baby, their marriage quickly crumbled. He was engaged to Future # No. 3 within 6 weeks after No. 2 filed. My DDs DGAF what he does any more. The one who is still a minor wrote a school essay that my DH (her stepdad) is her hero because she can depend on him.

My goodness.

Some people are truly horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

IMO, the joke is on you. It's no victory to have succeeded in ditching your step-kids if you have to spend your step-kid free time in Montana.

This is what my Mom used to call, "cutting off your nose to spite your face." She advised against such tactics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, I'm a divorced, single mom. I have my kids the majority of the time. My ex constantly shirks the little responsibility that he has for the kids' day-to-day lives. I take care of everything and it's a huge responsibility on top of everything else I have going on in my life.

Even though I expect I would feel the same way -- because I know I'd like to have a fun two-week vacation without having to worry about my kids' welfare (he knows they are safe and cared for with you)...I would say yes because it is the best thing for your kids.

Who knows whether he will reciprocate in the future? Mine would not. But I never feel bad taking the high road. He is not able to make decisions that are in the kids' best interests, so I do it. Plain and simple.

I applaud you. And I if am sure that even if they don't know what you are doing now (if they are too small), they will in the future, and they will be very very appreciative.