Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

LOL another second wife here. For some reason, my DH's teen DD from his first marriage with all of her complaining seems to remind him of his exwife.

I met my DH on a photo shoot; he was repping the client and we just clicked . About three months later he left his now ex-shrew, and we had ones up from there.

Their DD was 13 then; she’s 17 now. Given how nasty she is to me, when I see her I love to chat her up and allude to the “sex trips”, as OP puts it, that DH and I take. I’m sure to thank DH in front of her for the gorgeous West Coast Leather fitted leather skirt suit he bought me on our getaway to San Francisco

When she starts talking about college, I’m sure to regale her and my DH with stories about the college boys I dated in high school. Knowing she has some dating “challenges”, I ask if she’s ever gone out with college boys, and then “apologize” for “forgetting. I then assure her that she’ll find a little group when she gets to college.

Meanwhile DH gets turned on hearing about my high school days, and how I learned then how I like older men .

I don't have kids or stepkids but you sound awful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage.

I had to after everything the X did. She blacked my heart. The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point. I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post? OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex. PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon. This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE!

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2.

I’m ok being garbage #2. My life is good - roof over my head, kids healthy, good partner, great friends/family, don’t have to work anymore thanks to family money, etc. I admit I can be a B, but I’m very upfront with my personality. Not everyone has to like me bc that’d be exhausting.

How long until your DH stops seeing the first set of kids and you both blame it on parental alienation by the XW?

DH offers to take them places or fly them to us as they are in college now. We had them one weekend a month for 8 years, but for the last few years the kids had sports or wanted to be with friends so we obliged. They’re busy in college now they say. We will continue to offer though. DH only continues to work so we can pay child support/tuition as that’s on him. We’ll be done with that in 1-3 years though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage.

I had to after everything the X did. She blacked my heart. The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point. I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post? OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex. PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon. This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE!

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2.

I’m ok being garbage #2. My life is good - roof over my head, kids healthy, good partner, great friends/family, don’t have to work anymore thanks to family money, etc. I admit I can be a B, but I’m very upfront with my personality. Not everyone has to like me bc that’d be exhausting.

How long until your DH stops seeing the first set of kids and you both blame it on parental alienation by the XW?

DH offers to take them places or fly them to us as they are in college now. We had them one weekend a month for 8 years, but for the last few years the kids had sports or wanted to be with friends so we obliged. They’re busy in college now they say. We will continue to offer though. DH only continues to work so we can pay child support/tuition as that’s on him. We’ll be done with that in 1-3 years though.

One weekend a month isn't parenting. You'll never see them again except if you force it for the money/college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage.

I had to after everything the X did. She blacked my heart. The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point. I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post? OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex. PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon. This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE!

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2.

I’m ok being garbage #2. My life is good - roof over my head, kids healthy, good partner, great friends/family, don’t have to work anymore thanks to family money, etc. I admit I can be a B, but I’m very upfront with my personality. Not everyone has to like me bc that’d be exhausting.

How long until your DH stops seeing the first set of kids and you both blame it on parental alienation by the XW?

DH offers to take them places or fly them to us as they are in college now. We had them one weekend a month for 8 years, but for the last few years the kids had sports or wanted to be with friends so we obliged. They’re busy in college now they say. We will continue to offer though. DH only continues to work so we can pay child support/tuition as that’s on him. We’ll be done with that in 1-3 years though.

Also the kids only call when they want money so yeah DH is jadded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

LOL another second wife here. For some reason, my DH's teen DD from his first marriage with all of her complaining seems to remind him of his exwife.

I met my DH on a photo shoot; he was repping the client and we just clicked . About three months later he left his now ex-shrew, and we had ones up from there.

Their DD was 13 then; she’s 17 now. Given how nasty she is to me, when I see her I love to chat her up and allude to the “sex trips”, as OP puts it, that DH and I take. I’m sure to thank DH in front of her for the gorgeous West Coast Leather fitted leather skirt suit he bought me on our getaway to San Francisco

When she starts talking about college, I’m sure to regale her and my DH with stories about the college boys I dated in high school. Knowing she has some dating “challenges”, I ask if she’s ever gone out with college boys, and then “apologize” for “forgetting. I then assure her that she’ll find a little group when she gets to college.

Meanwhile DH gets turned on hearing about my high school days, and how I learned then how I like older men .

I don't have kids or stepkids but you sound awful

And your DH sounds gross getting turned on while you brag about sex with other men in front of his minor DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage.

I had to after everything the X did. She blacked my heart. The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point. I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post? OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex. PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon. This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE!

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2.

I’m ok being garbage #2. My life is good - roof over my head, kids healthy, good partner, great friends/family, don’t have to work anymore thanks to family money, etc. I admit I can be a B, but I’m very upfront with my personality. Not everyone has to like me bc that’d be exhausting.

You are going to ruin your kids. You cannot truly be happy in your relationship if you feel the need to treat your ex like dirt and cannot get alone for the sake of the kids. I hope you have enough money to fully fund them for college as if Dad is smart, if you alienate the kids, no reason for him to pay for college or anything else once child support is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage.

I had to after everything the X did. She blacked my heart. The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point. I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post? OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex. PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon. This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE!

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2.

I’m ok being garbage #2. My life is good - roof over my head, kids healthy, good partner, great friends/family, don’t have to work anymore thanks to family money, etc. I admit I can be a B, but I’m very upfront with my personality. Not everyone has to like me bc that’d be exhausting.

You are going to ruin your kids. You cannot truly be happy in your relationship if you feel the need to treat your ex like dirt and cannot get alone for the sake of the kids. I hope you have enough money to fully fund them for college as if Dad is smart, if you alienate the kids, no reason for him to pay for college or anything else once child support is over.

I think I misspoke. I’m the second wife with family money so no ex and no financial issues as my kids all have trusts established. It’s my DH’s two kids from his first marriage where his wife blinded him by leaving him for another man, which didn’t last. The exwife also pulled lots of bs like the OP. As I’m the second wife I’m garbage #2.

6 years ago, I had Placental Abruption and my son was born prematurely. He was helecoptered to a different hospital NICU while I was in the ICU of the delivery hospital. My DH asked his exwf to temporally cover their joint kids while he was dealing with the NICU and ICUs at different hospitals. Instead she had her lawyer send some demand letter. She also dropped the kids off at the nicu hospital his weekend and said figure it out. My sister kindly took them which resulted in another demand letter.

One of the kids told my DH (their day) that they wished their half brother had just died. They were constantly cruel to their father and siblings. These kids aren’t nice. So yeah I’m fine with only seeing them 1 weekend a month. I was also ok if they didn’t have fun when they visited as I was focused on my SN son.

I’m also ok being considered garbage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage.

I had to after everything the X did. She blacked my heart. The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point. I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post? OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex. PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon. This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE!

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2.

I’m ok being garbage #2. My life is good - roof over my head, kids healthy, good partner, great friends/family, don’t have to work anymore thanks to family money, etc. I admit I can be a B, but I’m very upfront with my personality. Not everyone has to like me bc that’d be exhausting.

You are going to ruin your kids. You cannot truly be happy in your relationship if you feel the need to treat your ex like dirt and cannot get alone for the sake of the kids. I hope you have enough money to fully fund them for college as if Dad is smart, if you alienate the kids, no reason for him to pay for college or anything else once child support is over.

I think I misspoke. I’m the second wife with family money so no ex and no financial issues as my kids all have trusts established. It’s my DH’s two kids from his first marriage where his wife blinded him by leaving him for another man, which didn’t last. The exwife also pulled lots of bs like the OP. As I’m the second wife I’m garbage #2.

6 years ago, I had Placental Abruption and my son was born prematurely. He was helecoptered to a different hospital NICU while I was in the ICU of the delivery hospital. My DH asked his exwf to temporally cover their joint kids while he was dealing with the NICU and ICUs at different hospitals. Instead she had her lawyer send some demand letter. She also dropped the kids off at the nicu hospital his weekend and said figure it out. My sister kindly took them which resulted in another demand letter.

One of the kids told my DH (their day) that they wished their half brother had just died. They were constantly cruel to their father and siblings. These kids aren’t nice. So yeah I’m fine with only seeing them 1 weekend a month. I was also ok if they didn’t have fun when they visited as I was focused on my SN son.

I’m also ok being considered garbage.

Ma’am, this thread is not about you. Can you let us go back to bashing the OP in peace? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage.

I had to after everything the X did. She blacked my heart. The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point. I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post? OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex. PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon. This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE!

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2.

I’m ok being garbage #2. My life is good - roof over my head, kids healthy, good partner, great friends/family, don’t have to work anymore thanks to family money, etc. I admit I can be a B, but I’m very upfront with my personality. Not everyone has to like me bc that’d be exhausting.

You are going to ruin your kids. You cannot truly be happy in your relationship if you feel the need to treat your ex like dirt and cannot get alone for the sake of the kids. I hope you have enough money to fully fund them for college as if Dad is smart, if you alienate the kids, no reason for him to pay for college or anything else once child support is over.

I think I misspoke. I’m the second wife with family money so no ex and no financial issues as my kids all have trusts established. It’s my DH’s two kids from his first marriage where his wife blinded him by leaving him for another man, which didn’t last. The exwife also pulled lots of bs like the OP. As I’m the second wife I’m garbage #2.

6 years ago, I had Placental Abruption and my son was born prematurely. He was helecoptered to a different hospital NICU while I was in the ICU of the delivery hospital. My DH asked his exwf to temporally cover their joint kids while he was dealing with the NICU and ICUs at different hospitals. Instead she had her lawyer send some demand letter. She also dropped the kids off at the nicu hospital his weekend and said figure it out. My sister kindly took them which resulted in another demand letter.

One of the kids told my DH (their day) that they wished their half brother had just died. They were constantly cruel to their father and siblings. These kids aren’t nice. So yeah I’m fine with only seeing them 1 weekend a month. I was also ok if they didn’t have fun when they visited as I was focused on my SN son.

I’m also ok being considered garbage.

Ma’am, this thread is not about you. Can you let us go back to bashing the OP in peace? Thanks.

Got it. Booooo OP you suck!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I really feel bad for all children (and adult children) mentioned in this thread...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really feel bad for all children (and adult children) mentioned in this thread...

My kids are doing fine. Once Wife #2 didn’t get her vanity baby, their marriage quickly crumbled. He was engaged to Future # No. 3 within 6 weeks after No. 2 filed. My DDs DGAF what he does any more. The one who is still a minor wrote a school essay that my DH (her stepdad) is her hero because she can depend on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really feel bad for all children (and adult children) mentioned in this thread...

My kids are doing fine. Once Wife #2 didn’t get her vanity baby, their marriage quickly crumbled. He was engaged to Future # No. 3 within 6 weeks after No. 2 filed. My DDs DGAF what he does any more. The one who is still a minor wrote a school essay that my DH (her stepdad) is her hero because she can depend on him.

So you think kids aren’t affected by this type of toxicity? Guess you don’t know any therapists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can you possibly interpret this as me not wanting my kids? Are you stupid? I don’t see how this is even a joke because it’s not funny. My kids love spending time with their dad they know their schedule and they don’t like it changed even when it’s for a good reason like one of us has to travel.
I don’t bad mouth their father or his fiancé so you can stop projecting. I’m not going to tiptoe around her. Them having a 2 week honeymoon has nothing to do with how my kids are treated. It’s pretty messed up for some of you to imply she would be justified in abusing them because of that. You are either sick yourselves or have sick people in your lives. I may not love her but she wouldn’t hurt my kids in anyway. Neither would my ex allow it.

People suggested that you should reframe this in your mind as 2 weeks more with your children, who I assume you enjoy spending time with. As for your children's difficulty coping with a schedule change, my advice to you as a divorced mom with a kid who also knows the schedule is that you at least pretend that this is an exciting schedule change for everyone: they get to spend extra time with you and their dad and his wife get to go on a special marriage vacation to celebrate. Contrary to what the other dried up shrews on this board believe, children are capable of empathy and do want their parents to be happy. If you are able to help your children be excited for their dad's happiness, they will be fine with the schedule change. As for being generally flexible, that is a thing that responsible parents teach to their children. Schedules in life change all the time for all kinds of reasons. Being petulant about it is in no one's best interest, but I can certainly see where your children get that attitude from.

As for your second suggestion, this woman is marrying into the family. In my family, we accommodate each other's wishes to the extent possible. She is not going to feel like she's part of the family if it is made clear to her by you and your children from the day she marries in that her wishes and desires are less important than everyone else's. If she doesn't feel like part of the family, there is no reason for her to treat your children like family. A good person would, but if you are coaching them to be petulant, which is very much what you are doing even if you don't think you are, she has no reason to be nice to you or them.

Dear OP, please listen to this rational poster.

2nd wife is not OPs family and 2nd wife is secondary to the children that’s what she another’s chose when getting involved with a man with Kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wife here. If you were my DH's X and you had done this to us (my DH's crashed our wedding drunk to "pick up the kids" and got into a fight with her former MIL so I get terrible Xs), it would not have put us on the right footing for the future. That does not equal abuse. It just means the kids might enjoy spending time with us less. Does that mean the weekend we have them, we're going to a stamp and coin show with grandpa for endless hours; why yes it does. Does it mean going to Ikea on a saturday for hours; why yes it does. Does it mean selecting a very rural vacation house near a national park with no cell service so you can't text/play games/internet mindlessly + what it doesn't have cable tv or internet; why yes it does. Boredom doesn't equal abuse, but let me tell you that kids these days aren't fans of boredom. For some reason, his kids didn't want to come on our week vacation to Montana this year...

WOW! You are a true piece of garbage.

I had to after everything the X did. She blacked my heart. The worst was not watching the kids/switching/whatever when our first was in the NICU for 5 weeks; that was the breaking point. I'm just warning the OP if she wants to play the game, maybe it won't end how she expected as the new wife might play along.

Play along to the detriment of innocent children, huh? Wow...

NP here, but honestly do you really think there isn't an equal and opposite reaction to the OP's original post? OP calls a honeymoon a sex vacation and wants support for not switching with her Ex. PP comes on says as a second wife she'd react terribly to the OP's hostility towards her honeymoon. This is just Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are terrible, but terrible in gets terrible out.

The answer - DON'T BE TERRIBLE!

OP IS terrible - no one here is defending her. But using children to get back at her bad behavior? Really? But then again, if the DH picked wife number 1, it's not surprising he'd pick another piece of garbage for wife number 2.

I’m ok being garbage #2. My life is good - roof over my head, kids healthy, good partner, great friends/family, don’t have to work anymore thanks to family money, etc. I admit I can be a B, but I’m very upfront with my personality. Not everyone has to like me bc that’d be exhausting.

You are going to ruin your kids. You cannot truly be happy in your relationship if you feel the need to treat your ex like dirt and cannot get alone for the sake of the kids. I hope you have enough money to fully fund them for college as if Dad is smart, if you alienate the kids, no reason for him to pay for college or anything else once child support is over.

I think I misspoke. I’m the second wife with family money so no ex and no financial issues as my kids all have trusts established. It’s my DH’s two kids from his first marriage where his wife blinded him by leaving him for another man, which didn’t last. The exwife also pulled lots of bs like the OP. As I’m the second wife I’m garbage #2.

6 years ago, I had Placental Abruption and my son was born prematurely. He was helecoptered to a different hospital NICU while I was in the ICU of the delivery hospital. My DH asked his exwf to temporally cover their joint kids while he was dealing with the NICU and ICUs at different hospitals. Instead she had her lawyer send some demand letter. She also dropped the kids off at the nicu hospital his weekend and said figure it out. My sister kindly took them which resulted in another demand letter.

One of the kids told my DH (their day) that they wished their half brother had just died. They were constantly cruel to their father and siblings. These kids aren’t nice. So yeah I’m fine with only seeing them 1 weekend a month. I was also ok if they didn’t have fun when they visited as I was focused on my SN son.

I’m also ok being considered garbage.

If the kids are in your home, and your husband isn't addressing the issues on their behavior, then you have a bigger issue than the ex-wife and that is your husband. If they are treating your husband and your family poorly, your husband needs to address it and impose consequences. Personally, I'd take my kid and leave if it were that bad. Gratefully, my husband would never put up with that.

[Anonymous]

Of course you do!