Wife would be ok never having sex again

[Anonymous]

Crappy husbands do kill their wives libidos. But that's not anywhere close to the whole story about why sex declines and sometimes dies in a long term relationship. Novelty and hormones are *huge* factors in sexual desire.

[Anonymous]

Well OP, if you bothered to read all the above whining from women that loss of libido is all men's fault because they don't do enough housework, I hope you don't come to the conclusion that your wife will want more sex if you do more housework, because I can assure you that "choreplay" does not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a fallacy to believe that women aren't interested in sex in their middle ages.

I do think their is a correlation with the type of women that men choose to be their wives in their youth and their eventual decline/disinterest in sex with their marital partners. The women were probably lower libido women to begin with.

I am single and have always enjoyed good sex. So have my other single friends and single relatives. We are active, attractive, and high-earners, and have no problem finding suitable mates as we age.

So, don't give up there are plenty of us out there. Now, if you want to pull some of the "shenigans" that you are used to doing in your marriage, then stay married.

BTW, open marriages are not the answer and neither is cheating. Divorce, get your sh*t together, and meet someone who can enthusiastically meet your needs.

You are single and no different from divorced women who find their sex drive after a divorce. Not the same as people who have been married for 20+ yrs with children. Get off your high horse. You have no idea what you are talking about.

x 1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women use low libido as an excuse.

Every woman I've known who said this ended up having an affair. All along, the problem wasn't low libido; it was lack of sexual attraction to their spouse.

Barring a health or mental health issue (e.g., painful sex, cancer, or severe depression), the issue is often that, while the woman likes her husband and may even love him, she just no longer feels sexually excited about him. She may even truly believe it's just low libido... until she meets a guy who does excite her. But if her marriage is otherwise good and stable and financially good, she won't leave her husband.

I'm sure that sounds harsh, but I'm just going by a number of situations I've seen, female friends and relatives.

The problem is that other women will encourage the self-delusion that it's low libido by insisting that women just aren't sexual or naturally lose interest in sex. That's not true.

Again, health or mental health issues are different. If your wife is suffering from depression or another illness or is taking medication that has side effects, then what I've said above does not apply.

This might be true but she will eventually lose attraction to the next guy after the novelty and honeymoon phase wear off. Then what? You're back at square 1. Better to stay with the first guy who is the father of your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a fallacy to believe that women aren't interested in sex in their middle ages.

I do think their is a correlation with the type of women that men choose to be their wives in their youth and their eventual decline/disinterest in sex with their marital partners. The women were probably lower libido women to begin with.

I am single and have always enjoyed good sex. So have my other single friends and single relatives. We are active, attractive, and high-earners, and have no problem finding suitable mates as we age.

So, don't give up there are plenty of us out there. Now, if you want to pull some of the "shenigans" that you are used to doing in your marriage, then stay married.

BTW, open marriages are not the answer and neither is cheating. Divorce, get your sh*t together, and meet someone who can enthusiastically meet your needs.

You are single and no different from divorced women who find their sex drive after a divorce. Not the same as people who have been married for 20+ yrs with children. Get off your high horse. You have no idea what you are talking about.

No, mine was never lost. I dumped men who were bad in bed. I declined a marriage offers because of bad sex. Intimacy and sex were taught to be important by both parents, so it is not something I compromise on. I see the other end of the conversation that you are not hearing from women. For many, not all, its all a part of the game of marriage.

So have you ever been in a relationship for 10+ yrs, lived together, commingled finances, have children and ran a household? No. Then you don’t know what you are talking about. Sex in a dating relationship isn’t the same as married sex. My DH and I had sex 5-6 times a day for the first three yrs we were together. I am not a low libido woman but after 30 yrs, marriage and children out sex life has become nonexistent. We are staying married because we love each other and are best friends still.

Your insights are not applicable

THIS

That PP needs to f*ck off with her nonsense. Come back and talk to me after you've been married 15 + years.

[Anonymous]

Not and MRA guy, but it really is easy if you have a good career, stay in shape and have a nice place in the city. My last GF said she feels guilty dating me since there’s so many women my age in her office who are single and looking.

[Anonymous]

All of the talk about crappy husbands clearly do not apply to OP. He’s the flip side of the women who get upset when they discover 10 years into a marriage that their husband didn’t turn out to be as good a “provider” as they expected through no fault of their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the 20th century the phenomenon of expecting “young sex” well into your middle age took off. Historically, this was never the case. You would have sex relatively young in order to procreation. You would use youthful passion to create a family. In your middle aged you’d expect sex to slow down and take backstage importance as your kids grow up and have kids of their own. There was a sense that things come with a season of life. In past times ageing, including hormonal and thus sexual ageing, was accepted as normal part of life. Today people expect to have repeat experiences of a 20-year -old and priorities are totally messed up. Hence, so many threads about sex by middle-aged people. Instead of accepting a companionate marriage in middle age many are willing to divorce and cheat in a fruitless attempt to capture passions of youth.

So true. Lots of divorced lonely men out there acting like High school boys chasing tail.

And lots of sexless women out there "sharing details about her day" to a cat. Want to keep a relationship with a normal/healthy man? This means regular sex. Not interested? Fine, keep talking to the cat.

I’d rather talk to my (non-existent) cat than have sex with this skeevy old horndog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not and MRA guy, but it really is easy if you have a good career, stay in shape and have a nice place in the city. My last GF said she feels guilty dating me since there’s so many women my age in her office who are single and looking.

And yet we know what the lucky women who date you *really* think of you by the fact that, several years in, you still haven’t scored a permanent FWB setup. Enjoy that basement rental, or is it your parents’ basement.

STFU about your alleged prowess already, so we can get back to talking to OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well OP, if you bothered to read all the above whining from women that loss of libido is all men's fault because they don't do enough housework, I hope you don't come to the conclusion that your wife will want more sex if you do more housework, because I can assure you that "choreplay" does not work.

Yes, choreplay after 25 years of no choreplay is just going to make her suspicious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not and MRA guy, but it really is easy if you have a good career, stay in shape and have a nice place in the city. My last GF said she feels guilty dating me since there’s so many women my age in her office who are single and looking.

Hahaha. You are so lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, this is a husband issue as much as or more than a wife issue.
You husbands are literally killing your wife's libido over and over again for years and then are OMG shocked when she shuts down sex with you later in life.
She owes you nothing if you have given her nothing in return. You just don't like the natural consequence and instead of owning it and trying to fix it; you find it easier to cash in your chips and leave.
Well good for you, but guess what. All that sex she wouldn't give you is given 10 times over to the next guy who hasn't killed it yet.

Seriously, what makes men think they are entitled to continuous sex when they don't put in continuous effort in the day to day life. I am not talking about taking out the trash, but actually taking on 50% of the household responsibilities. If i phoned it in at work like men do in their marriages i would face consequences at work. Well your consequence at home is no sex.
Enjoy your new fling for a while but if you don't change how you treat her the end result will be the same as your current wife.

This is gospel truth. Listen up husbands of all ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well OP, if you bothered to read all the above whining from women that loss of libido is all men's fault because they don't do enough housework, I hope you don't come to the conclusion that your wife will want more sex if you do more housework, because I can assure you that "choreplay" does not work.

Yes, choreplay after 25 years of no choreplay is just going to make her suspicious.

+1. Plus it’s going to take a while to overcome all the resentment pp doesn’t think could possibly exist after 25 years of faking it with him and no help extinguish th the kitchen or kids from him. One night filling and emptying the dishwasher isn’t going to do it.

It seems like OP is very different from pp, however, and has done his best to share in the housework. That’s a key point that’s getting lost in all the BS from the MRA loser. I’d go for the hotel or cruise ideas, to break the awkward pattern and get back into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To those who don't think there is a correlation between division of labor and sexual desire, many of the low drive women would likely bang another guy, they just don't want their husbands. Ask yourself why that is. Attention? Feeling like more than a house keeper? Shut up and grow a pair and own that you may be the issue, not her.

So true. Women grow resentful after years of cleaning up after their husband and doing the majority of the child care, resentment kills libido. Men pay the price for laziness in the long run.

Truth

[Anonymous]

If I were single any guy who divorced his wife due to lack of sex would be a big red flag. Chances are he is the reason for her lack of sex drive and a leopard doesn't change it's spots.