Nobody brought us food

[Anonymous]

My parents were asses. Sent my husband out to pick up sushi, left cleaning up to us. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were asses. Sent my husband out to pick up sushi, left cleaning up to us. Ridiculous.

I watched my ILs do this to their daughter (my SIL) after her c section-- I was appalled, but it did prepare me for how useless they would be when we had kids. So at least I expected it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like there are a whole lot of Republicans on this thread with all of the "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" ideology being spouted, rather than the idea of "it takes a village" and wanting to help your fellow man (or woman.) That's pretty surprising in this largely Democratic area we live in.

So weird. If anything republicans are more family friendly and help each other more.

That's a big fat lie. The party of family values has none.

So, who are these people who accuse women who would enjoy the support and care of their loved ones in the way of a meal of being martyrs or victims for saying so? What school of thought is that? It seems contrary to the "take care of one another" value system Democrats proclaim to espouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like there are a whole lot of Republicans on this thread with all of the "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" ideology being spouted, rather than the idea of "it takes a village" and wanting to help your fellow man (or woman.) That's pretty surprising in this largely Democratic area we live in.

So weird. If anything republicans are more family friendly and help each other more.

That's a big fat lie. The party of family values has none.

So, who are these people who accuse women who would enjoy the support and care of their loved ones in the way of a meal of being martyrs or victims for saying so? What school of thought is that? It seems contrary to the "take care of one another" value system Democrats proclaim to espouse.

Not everything is political.

[Anonymous]

My DH was 43 by the time our son was born, and he'd already been bringing his new parent friends food for more than a decade (he doesn't cook, so it's takeout, but still). He also volunteers to watch friends' kids for short spells when one parent is out of town, etc. Before I met him I was clueless about how helpful bringing meals to new parents is, but now that we've had a baby, I'm grateful to have been in a position to reap all the good will he's sown. My sister set up a meal train for us, and it was great. Our own parents were not super helpful, but our friends were fantastic (the ones with kids mostly).

Now I would never think of going to visit new parents without bringing something they need. Dinner, groceries... if they really don't want anything, I'll offer to watch baby while they take a nap or shower. Or offer to do a load of laundry or a sink full of dishes. If they don't want that, at least I tried! And if I can't go in person, I'll send a gift card for a local restaurant that delivers, or order them delivery directly (they tell me what they want and when, I make it happen).

So am I hoping for more of the same when our second arrives next year? Sure, that'd be nice. But I'm also planning to be more prepared in terms of stocking our freezer, etc. Because people are busy and sometimes thoughtless, and maybe with a second kid they figure you've got it under control. The point is, help others out when you can - not to get anything out of it, but because it's the right thing to do - and it'll usually come back around. If you need something, ask, and you'll figure out who can rely on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like there are a whole lot of Republicans on this thread with all of the "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" ideology being spouted, rather than the idea of "it takes a village" and wanting to help your fellow man (or woman.) That's pretty surprising in this largely Democratic area we live in.

So weird. If anything republicans are more family friendly and help each other more.

That's a big fat lie. The party of family values has none.

So, who are these people who accuse women who would enjoy the support and care of their loved ones in the way of a meal of being martyrs or victims for saying so? What school of thought is that? It seems contrary to the "take care of one another" value system Democrats proclaim to espouse.

Super super liberal democrat here. Bring food to every family i know well enough to know their food allergies, preferences, and comfort level. Have enjoyed the same.


Can you troll political forum instead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like there are a whole lot of Republicans on this thread with all of the "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" ideology being spouted, rather than the idea of "it takes a village" and wanting to help your fellow man (or woman.) That's pretty surprising in this largely Democratic area we live in.

So weird. If anything republicans are more family friendly and help each other more.

That's a big fat lie. The party of family values has none.

So, who are these people who accuse women who would enjoy the support and care of their loved ones in the way of a meal of being martyrs or victims for saying so? What school of thought is that? It seems contrary to the "take care of one another" value system Democrats proclaim to espouse.

Super super liberal democrat here. Bring food to every family i know well enough to know their food allergies, preferences, and comfort level. Have enjoyed the same.


Can you troll political forum instead?

Me too. I've made multiple post here about generosity and community. Democratic to the core.

[Anonymous]

No one brought me food for either of my kids nor did I expect it,

[Anonymous]

OP, are you Millenials or something? Meet your new best friend: Trader Joe's frozen foods isle. Nobody is supposed to feed you. You're 2 adults and now you're supposed to be fully in charge of not only keeping yourselves alive but also a tiny human you made.

[Anonymous]

OP, I always bring food, but I grew up in the South with a mother who was constantly making food for people who just had a baby, were sick, as a hostess gift, etc., so it is just ingrained in me. So in the last month I've done a meal for a new mom, and two desserts for sick co-workers. But I've found I'm a bit of an outlier. I think people don't do it now bc of a combination of factors: 1) fewer people grew up with parents who did this; 2) people move around more, so people don't have the same large network to bring things; 3) fewer people cook from scratch, and so people don't feel confident enough in their cooking to make something like a casserole or pie; 4) increasing dietary diversity means people don't know what to bring (allergies, vegan, gluten-free are all concerns); 5)increasing cultural diversity (and increasing awareness of it) means there are few if any universal dishes that are acceptable to provide, so people do nothing rather than make a mistake; 6) there are fewer SAHMs, and these women typically were the main folks with the time to do this; 7) since there is more delivery/prepared/frozen food available these days, it seems less necessary.
I will say though, that as someone who does this, people really appreciate it, and I'm sorry no one has brought you anything. Its a tradition I hope comes back.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised no one brought you food. I always bring food to new parents if I can! It was not unreasonable to expect a casserole or a baked ziti or two, especially if you have brought them to other new parents in the past. People on this thread saying you shouldn't expect others to feed you are jerks. Of course no one is "required" to do it, but it's something that thoughtful adults do for one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you Millenials or something? Meet your new best friend: Trader Joe's frozen foods isle. Nobody is supposed to feed you. You're 2 adults and now you're supposed to be fully in charge of not only keeping yourselves alive but also a tiny human you made.

Well I'm a GenXer and my Boomer Mom and Greatest Generation Grandmas all made food for their friends and neighbors when someone had a baby. It was consdered good manners. But maybe it's a regional thing b.c I'm Southern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you Millenials or something? Meet your new best friend: Trader Joe's frozen foods isle. Nobody is supposed to feed you. You're 2 adults and now you're supposed to be fully in charge of not only keeping yourselves alive but also a tiny human you made.

Well I'm a GenXer and my Boomer Mom and Greatest Generation Grandmas all made food for their friends and neighbors when someone had a baby. It was consdered good manners. But maybe it's a regional thing b.c I'm Southern.

I'm a local native. It's the norm here too. If you're from here..,,

[Anonymous]

maybe they just didnt see the need to. i would just openly ask your hubby in this instance or order from uber eats whatever you wanted

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't just show up with food (gift yes) but I would ask if you wanted anything. I actually would not want people to bting me food. It kinda grosses me out not knowing where it came from. I also felt no need for anyone to bring me anything. I can take care of my family as can my husband.