DC gained 5+ lbs last week at sleep away camp

[Anonymous]

I just read the field trip post and I feel sorry for this child. The mom says she is "furious" and "frustrated" because he's not making good choices at age 10 when she's not there to supervise his eating and spending.

OP, camps and field trips are not going to make or break your son's weight and eating habits. Those are times to relax and let your child have fun. The fact that you are becoming enraged by this (you wouldn't even speak to him after the field trip) is disturbing. Maybe some counseling to address control issues is in order.

[Anonymous]

Some folks here seem to believe it's normal to gain 5+ pounds in ONE week.

It is not.

Further, it is obscene that it happens during a CAMP. What kind of camp is that? What explains a 20,000 caloric surplus...and while presumably engaging in physical activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Some folks here seem to believe it's normal to gain 5+ pounds in ONE week.

It is not.

Further, it is obscene that it happens during a CAMP. What kind of camp is that? What explains a 20,000 caloric surplus...and while presumably engaging in physical activities?

Oh for heaven's sake. You're as bad as OP. It's not possible that the child actually gained 5 pounds of fat in one week. The most likely explanation is that he is bloated or constipated after a week of crappy camp food.

[Anonymous]

Best to start weighing him both before and after a shit, just to be safe.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP back. Yes I'm the field trip/$18 lunch mom. Maybe I so have control issues but I do love him very much and want the best for him. He's ten weighs 116 lbs about two weeks ago, today he's well over 122.

The 'unlimited ice cream' camp is a great camp and I'm not gonna ban it just because the ice cream.

He is 10 and weighs 122 lbs! My 11 year old weighs half that. Where is he on the growth chart?

Your 11 yo is teeny tiny.

My 10 yo son is 5'4 and about 125 pounds, and healthy. There is a huge range of normal at this age.

That is HUGE. Surely you realize that, right? The fact that your DS is massive has absolutely nothing to do with "normal" size and weight.

Seriously, he's the size of an adult.....

Not PP, but there is a large range of normal. The 5'4" kid is not his adult size even though there are adults that size. The 61 pound 11 year old is small. There are 6 year olds that weigh 60 pounds and they are not ovetweight. Is that 11 year old on the growth chart?

I think you are confusing "normal" with "healthy." Normal means, the norm. It is not the norm to be the size of a small adult at the age of 10, even though it may be healthy for that particular ten year old. See? That makes it sort of irrelevant to say, "Hey, my 10 year old is even bigger, so that must mean OP is overreacting." Seriously, I have not seen a 10 year old that size yet.

You must not be around many 4th-5th grade boys then.

My ten year old is under/around sixty lbs and he is TINY compared to his classmates.

Most of the other boys his age are around eight to twelve inches taller than him and weigh aroun 100 lbs +/-.

Quite frankly, the only boys his age close in height and weight to him are a few of the asian kids, some of the hispanic kids (height only, weight is heavier) and white kids on adhd medication that suppresses appetite. All the other (healthy active) boys are around 100 lbs at ten/eleven.

I have boys and i"m around boys on a regular basis. A ten year old who weighs 125 pounds is LARGE. Admit it.

I googled average weight of a 10 year old boy: Boys tend to weigh about 68 pounds (31kg) on average; normal range is anything from 57 to 100 pounds.

11-year old boys who weigh 100 lbs are in the 80% -- that is not average, by definition: https://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/data/set1clinical/cj41l021.pdf. As others have said, however, it's all about how tall your kid is. My son is 11 and weighs 78 lbs, which is average. However, he's almost 5 feet tall, so that means he's thin. He's not on ADHD meds, as the previous poster suggested. He has a fast metabolism and is a competitive swimmer who burns tons of calories. But his weight is "healthy" according to the BMI calculator (and according to his doctor).

As for OP's kid, we don't know his height. However, since he's 122 lbs, he would have to be at least 5'6" to not be overweight according to BMI calculators. While there are some 10 year old boys who are that tall, it's rare. So my guess is that OP's kid is overweight. I agree with the posters who suggest that OP approach this problem differently, but I don't agree w/ those who deny there is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Yes I'm the field trip/$18 lunch mom. Maybe I so have control issues but I do love him very much and want the best for him. He's ten weighs 116 lbs about two weeks ago, today he's well over 122.

The 'unlimited ice cream' camp is a great camp and I'm not gonna ban it just because the ice cream.

In that case, maybe you should be working with a nutritionist for him, and a therapist for both of you. Your concerns may be legit, depending on his height, but constantly being disappointed and getting upset isn't going to make things better. I don't believe for a second the issues are all about food.

OP, I agree. I understand your concern as a parent for the health of your child -- I really do. That concern is going to have the best and healthiest impact on your son if channeled in a healthy way. You need to get some professional help with this issue, either way you look at it. Take food OUT of the relationship between you and your son (and have your husband do it, too). The way you are pushing, pressuring, and expressing anxiety over this, he's headed towards a lifetime of food issues. Let him work with a professional on this. I also recommend some family counseling to re-establish boundaries and safety around the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do realize boys fluctuate in weigh all the time. They eat a ton, gain weight, and have a growth spurt. Puberty enhances that.

I have 4 kids and have never weighed them and at their pediatrician appointments, I don't even care.

You continue down this path, he will have a severe eating disorder. Would you do this if your child was a girl? Do you know how little self esteem pre-teens and teens have? SUPPORT him. Stop tearing him down. If he exercises each day, let him be.

Some human beings gain weight really easily. Some stay thin no matter how much they eat. Maybe the OP is going to equip her child to grow up with a solid understanding of how to avoid being overweight, even though his peers can eat more than he does and stay thin. Why is that "tearing him down." Not everybody has weight issues because of their mommy. How old fashioned.

[Anonymous]

he's borderline obese and is under dr's order to lose weight. yes you read it right, to lose, not just maintain, weight.

it's like if after numerous warnings your son still went to the skate park without a helmet wouldn't you be frustrated too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do realize boys fluctuate in weigh all the time. They eat a ton, gain weight, and have a growth spurt. Puberty enhances that.

I have 4 kids and have never weighed them and at their pediatrician appointments, I don't even care.

You continue down this path, he will have a severe eating disorder. Would you do this if your child was a girl? Do you know how little self esteem pre-teens and teens have? SUPPORT him. Stop tearing him down. If he exercises each day, let him be.

Some human beings gain weight really easily. Some stay thin no matter how much they eat. Maybe the OP is going to equip her child to grow up with a solid understanding of how to avoid being overweight, even though his peers can eat more than he does and stay thin. Why is that "tearing him down." Not everybody has weight issues because of their mommy. How old fashioned.

In a previous post, she gave him the silent treatment after he ate too much at lunch on a field trip. How is that NOT tearing him down?

[Anonymous]

Where did OP say that his doctor was worried about his weight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he's borderline obese and is under dr's order to lose weight. yes you read it right, to lose, not just maintain, weight.

it's like if after numerous warnings your son still went to the skate park without a helmet wouldn't you be frustrated too?

No, I'd take away the damn skateboard. You clearly can't send him to camp with a buffet of crap food and expect your 10 year old to make good choices. He's just not going to, so stop getting angry with him about it because it's not helping him. It's just damaging your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he's borderline obese and is under dr's order to lose weight. yes you read it right, to lose, not just maintain, weight.

it's like if after numerous warnings your son still went to the skate park without a helmet wouldn't you be frustrated too?

Because those things are not the same. You can take away the skateboard if your child doesn't wear their helmet. But you can't take away food. You have set up a power struggle with a 10 year old, for God's sake. There isn't a boy on the planet who is going to nibble on salad at sleep away camp while his bunkmates gorge on ice cream. So you need to find a better and more realistic approach because YOU are setting HIM up for failure and then punishing him for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's borderline obese and is under dr's order to lose weight. yes you read it right, to lose, not just maintain, weight.

it's like if after numerous warnings your son still went to the skate park without a helmet wouldn't you be frustrated too?

Because those things are not the same. You can take away the skateboard if your child doesn't wear their helmet. But you can't take away food. You have set up a power struggle with a 10 year old, for God's sake. There isn't a boy on the planet who is going to nibble on salad at sleep away camp while his bunkmates gorge on ice cream. So you need to find a better and more realistic approach because YOU are setting HIM up for failure and then punishing him for it.

This! OP, you're giving your son conflicting messages regarding food. Restricting him at home but sending him to a camp with unlimited ice cream and expecting him to make good choices. He's ten, he's going to binge on everything he knows he's not allowed to at home.

Planting the seeds for some disordered eating down the road, please tread carefully.

[Anonymous]

i'd take some advice from posters who've helped an overweight/obese child with big appetite overcome his/her food choices and weight problems.

btw i don't "expect" my 10-yo to make good choices - i want him to and work with him on that accordingly, and when he let me down i get frustrated. it's called parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Some folks here seem to believe it's normal to gain 5+ pounds in ONE week.

It is not.

Further, it is obscene that it happens during a CAMP. What kind of camp is that? What explains a 20,000 caloric surplus...and while presumably engaging in physical activities?

Oh for heaven's sake. You're as bad as OP. It's not possible that the child actually gained 5 pounds of fat in one week. The most likely explanation is that he is bloated or constipated after a week of crappy camp food.

+1

Reweigh him now, OP, if he's flushed the extra water and waste from his system.