DC gained 5+ lbs last week at sleep away camp

[Anonymous]

what do you know? with the recent gains he's now solidly in obese category. and trust me all obese kids have a complex of their body and an eating disorder - they overeat. my job is to help him overcome both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what do you know? with the recent gains he's now solidly in obese category. and trust me all obese kids have a complex of their body and an eating disorder - they overeat. my job is to help him overcome both.

I presume you are responding to my post, 13:24, where I said quite bluntly that you were likely to end up influencing your child to develop an eating disorder. In hindsight, my delivery was harsh and unkind, and for that I apologize.

What do I know? Well, not your kid's specific situation, but I do know that as a young adult in my mid to late 20s I struggled with anorexia, and while there were a multitude of underlying reasons for that it certainly did not help one bit that my mom watched my weight like a hawk from around age 8 onward. Even when I was away at college, when I would come home or she would drop by to see me, it was one of the first things she would comment on. "you look like you lost/gained some weight." "how's your weight?" "your clothes fit [tighter/looser] than normal." "what have you been eating?"

None of those things helped me develop any sort of healthy relationship between my body & food. It was absolutely the wrong approach. I know my mother meant well, and I'm sure you do too, but I don't think the sort of approach that I get the impression you are taking with you son based on your posts is going to end well at all. It probably won't achieve your goal for him to have a healthy body, diet, and attitude about food or weight.

If he is actually obese, has his doctor had any useful suggestions for how to approach the situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine what the OP would act like if she had a daughter.

Girls tend to be more introspective about their bodies and from a much earlier age. If you are this crazed about your son, I wonder how your daughter fares in your household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what do you know? with the recent gains he's now solidly in obese category. and trust me all obese kids have a complex of their body and an eating disorder - they overeat. my job is to help him overcome both.

I presume you are responding to my post, 13:24, where I said quite bluntly that you were likely to end up influencing your child to develop an eating disorder. In hindsight, my delivery was harsh and unkind, and for that I apologize.

What do I know? Well, not your kid's specific situation, but I do know that as a young adult in my mid to late 20s I struggled with anorexia, and while there were a multitude of underlying reasons for that it certainly did not help one bit that my mom watched my weight like a hawk from around age 8 onward. Even when I was away at college, when I would come home or she would drop by to see me, it was one of the first things she would comment on. "you look like you lost/gained some weight." "how's your weight?" "your clothes fit [tighter/looser] than normal." "what have you been eating?"

None of those things helped me develop any sort of healthy relationship between my body & food. It was absolutely the wrong approach. I know my mother meant well, and I'm sure you do too, but I don't think the sort of approach that I get the impression you are taking with you son based on your posts is going to end well at all. It probably won't achieve your goal for him to have a healthy body, diet, and attitude about food or weight.

If he is actually obese, has his doctor had any useful suggestions for how to approach the situation?

she suggested carbs reduction and regular exercise which was useful for the first three months but he gained back half of that the next six month when we relaxed on the carbs while increased exercise, but then summer came and you know the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine what the OP would act like if she had a daughter.

Girls tend to be more introspective about their bodies and from a much earlier age. If you are this crazed about your son, I wonder how your daughter fares in your household.

she's not obese or overweight so i'm not crazed about her. sorry to disappoint you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine what the OP would act like if she had a daughter.

Girls tend to be more introspective about their bodies and from a much earlier age. If you are this crazed about your son, I wonder how your daughter fares in your household.

she's not obese or overweight so i'm not crazed about her. sorry to disappoint you.

So you're just crazed about your son. Good to know.

[Anonymous]

Please don't indulge/enable this OP. She is sick and needs to get help from a professional.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I am overweight. Have spent more years overweight than not. Had grandparents who obsessed over my weight when I was a kid. I was a size four for many years and my grandparents dissected every bite I took. So damaging.

A couple of years ago our pediatrician told us in the parents only portion of the appointment that our daughter had gained 20 pounds in a year and that it was too much. She wasn't fat. Maybe a little pudgy, but no one would look at her and think she was overweight. I took our doctor very seriously. I did not say a word to our daughter. I just made a lot of changes. I began meal planning like a fool. I made it my life's work to cook dinner 6 nights per week and I served a protein and a veg. I packed lunch every day for her. I also quadrupled her activity level. She expressed interest in a sport so she began taking lessons. I also signed her up for an evening lap swim class so we were swimming 4 nights per week and she was playing her sport on the weekend. Have I enjoyed every minute? No, but she largely makes good choices when she isn't with us. She drinks mostly water and a lot of it and she gave up soda on her own about a year ago. Before then, she had soda only when we ate a meal out at a restaurant maybe once a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I am overweight. Have spent more years overweight than not. Had grandparents who obsessed over my weight when I was a kid. I was a size four for many years and my grandparents dissected every bite I took. So damaging.

A couple of years ago our pediatrician told us in the parents only portion of the appointment that our daughter had gained 20 pounds in a year and that it was too much. She wasn't fat. Maybe a little pudgy, but no one would look at her and think she was overweight. I took our doctor very seriously. I did not say a word to our daughter. I just made a lot of changes. I began meal planning like a fool. I made it my life's work to cook dinner 6 nights per week and I served a protein and a veg. I packed lunch every day for her. I also quadrupled her activity level. She expressed interest in a sport so she began taking lessons. I also signed her up for an evening lap swim class so we were swimming 4 nights per week and she was playing her sport on the weekend. Have I enjoyed every minute? No, but she largely makes good choices when she isn't with us. She drinks mostly water and a lot of it and she gave up soda on her own about a year ago. Before then, she had soda only when we ate a meal out at a restaurant maybe once a week.

i have to tip my hat to you - you're a great mom, your DD is lucky to have you, and i wish you both the best.

i try to do what you're doing too but it's just not as successful and it frustrates me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He just got back from another camp yesterday. Same story. I didn't weigh him this time but easily another 5+ lb gain from the look of his belly and thighs. So far 15 lb or more than the start of summer with another four weeks to go. I'm depressed.

"...from the look of his belly and thighs..."

What?

You are seriously deranged.

+1. It's virtually impossible to pack on five pounds of fat in a week. Just because you're disgusted with his appearance doesn't mean something has changed. Does he have a physical coming up? Honestly if he gained ten pounds in two weeks there's probably some serious metabolic disease at issue. Take him to the doctor.

[Anonymous]

OP there is little you can do now except for once don't say anything about his eating habits, let him go to camp, and sign him up for 2 sports or active pursuits like dance this fall at school. Soccer and golf lessons on weekends or baseball and karate or ballet or whatever works for him. Maybe he'll grow up to be a fat kid but you should love him and make home a safe and nurturing place regardless.