DC gained 5+ lbs last week at sleep away camp
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Anonymous
Yes, plenty of kids go through a chubby stage as tweens. I've seen photos of my husband at around 11. He was chunky. His brother was just plain fat at that age. As adults, they're both on the thinner side of average. |
Anonymous
I know it was true for me (I'm a girl, but I don't see the difference. I remained overweight throughout childhood and didn't slim down until I left home and had control over my own food choices. I was so angry with my mother by that time for her constant nagging and inability to love or like me or accept me that we have little relationship to this day. OP, accept your child the way he is. That's the greatest gift you can give him. |
Anonymous
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Please do not micromanage your son. I understand your concern, but as other posters have written, there are right and wrong ways to handle the situation. I was an overweight pre-teen and teenager and my mom said and did stuff that still makes me cringe. If my dad and I would go out for dinner, she would ask my dad how much I ate and would tell my grandparents to stop feeding me so much. She would also make me get on the scale in front of her. There were occasions where she would make my favorite meals and not let me have any, because I had already "eaten it too many times" that week. She once even referred to me as a "porker" and said I was probably the heaviest person in my class. At the time, she weighed about 115 (she's 5'1") and was upset, because she had previously weighed 108.
I finally lost the weight as an adult and she still says stuff like, "Isn't life so much better when you aren't fat?" or "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Ironically, she is the one trying to lose weight now (~130, trying to get down to 125, ideally wants to be 115). |
Anonymous
NP here. I find the tone of your response ignorant and DCUM-rude. OP is correct in being concerned about a 5 lb. weight gain in a week. It has obviously not been gained from eating carrots and kale! People should restrict junk food everywhere not just home, especially things like white sugar. Do you even realize how obese and ill people are in this country? Now, the only people I know who go gluten-free are those that are allergic to it - especially those with Celiac disease. I know of several mom's who have kids with Celiac and the discipline they and their kids show in avoiding food with gluten is commendable. |
Anonymous
| Obviously then sleep away camp is not the option for your child if you have to monitor it this much. What did you think was going to happen? You knew what camp you were signing him up for ahead of time and that there would be unlimited chicken wings and ice cream, yet you still let him go. So now that he is back, increase his exercise and continue to instill good eating habits. Even adults gain weight. |
Anonymous
| New PP here. I have a serious question for all the posters criticizing OP: when should we expect children to start making good choices? I get that most of you think 10 is too young, but then when? Should she expect her son to make good choices at 12, 14, 18? Obviously, by the time kids go to college we have to hope that they've been taught how to make good choices, so when should that begin? |
Anonymous
She's taking care of his health, per doctor's orders. Pretending he is a normal weight and OP has a problem is just perverse. |
Anonymous
There are ways to address the issue that aren't so demeaning and confrontational. |
Anonymous
I'm not getting that. I think people who assume any mention of weight is demeaning have an issue. |
Anonymous
When they are able to do so. The body belongs to her son, not her. The level of anger coming from OP is so weird and inappropriate, as if someone has dared to abuse her precious body. -- Signed the poster who finally lost weight when she left home. |
Anonymous
You CAN NOT gain 5lbs of fat in one week. 1-2lbs at most and that is probably because he went ape-shit overboard while she wasn't around. His other 3-4lbs is water retention from processed salty food, the body making itself retain because it is hot and he is sweating, and because the body is absorbing the water, he is probably constipated. This can resolve in one week of normal diet, TONS of water, and maybe some MiraLax if needed. There is no reason on this earth to weigh your kid after a week of camp. And you are insane if you think the only people going gluten-free are those with celiac. It is the newest craze just like Atkins, Reduced-Fat, Sugar-Free etc... And yes there is an obesity epidemic but shaming him is not going to help him. No one is saying load up on junk but micromanaging a tween is shameful. |
Anonymous
1. She never mentioned the doctor. 2. If he is under doctor's orders, you don't send him away to camps with unlimited junk and ice-cream and THEN shame him when he returns 3. OP is the one with the problem. She has posted multiple times in such anger and resentment over her boy son, it is extremely sad. She needs help. |
Anonymous
It's the reaction - the horror that he may have gained any weight - and then making him step on the scale. Making him feel bad about what might have been an otherwise good experience away. Instead she could have let his body adjust to being back home first (poor kid was surely bloated and constipated), planned some healthy family meals with him for the upcoming week, taken to a farmer's market, planned some fun outings to get their whole family moving, etc. Addressed their lifestyle instead of this one week away at camp. |
Anonymous
Please don't think "he let you down" or even that he let himself down. That's too much pressure. It is frustrating when we struggle to help our kids. Food is such a challenge for some people. My DH can eat anything it seems and remain thin. I on the other hand gain weight easily. I was skinny until 7th grade. My parents did not handle it well and it became a horrible battle that overshadowed our relationship. I am now able to maintain a healthy weight but it took me into my thirties to get there. A good therapist was key for me - so often it's not really about the food. I have 2 daughters - one, 15yo, takes after DH - the other after me. She's 13 and slightly overweight and has been for at least a couple years. We do not make an issue of it - I don't discuss my own weight (or others) with my girls nor do I bring up their weights. I am certainly privately concerned about DD2's weight but I am much more concerned about setting her up with a lifetime of food issues. I've discussed it privately with her ped who is fine with taking a very low key approach. Although she is overweight she is not gaining disproportionate to height (based on her yearly physical - I don't weigh the girls at home) and I'm pleased with that. We don't really make a big deal about food in our house which helps me but I actually put a lot of thought into the food I buy and the meals we prepare. Breakfast is typically cereal with 1% milk with fruit. I don't buy sugar cereal except for vacation. We all take "bagged" lunches - typically a some combo of: a smallish sandwich or sometimes wrap, cut veggies sometimes with dip, sometimes string cheese, sometimes greek yogurt, and generally a small serving of a salty crunchy snack (i.e. chips, popcorn, nuts, pretzels or such), fruit, and some small sweet plus water bottle. The girls help me make the lunches assembly style - we don't do bento style but do have tons of small containers. I also keep lots of food options on hand and do advance prep to make sure various options are equally easy to grap. (Wash fruit and veggies when purchased. Keep sliced veggies in fridge. Choose things that make good finger food - grape tomatoes, grapes, cuties, carrot "chips", homemade cinnamon apple chips. I keep dips on hand - hummus, sunbutter, peanut butter, salsa, sourcream based dips, yogurt, even Ready-Whip for berries. Our pantry also generally has a couple types of chips, various nuts (I like to get in shell - same for sunflower seeds. We also make homemade granola and cookies - we all love oatmeal, raisin, chocolate chip cookies (sometimes with nuts) - I actually hate raisins but they keep me from doing more then nibbling on one (cookies are a weakness of mine. We also only eat in the kitchen, dining room or patio which the exception of at parties and popcorn for family movie night. We don't eat out of containers - we try to always make a plate/bowl. Also we eat meals at predictable times and I ask that all refrain from snacking within an hour of the meal. We have family dinner everynight and generally a family breakfast on Sunday. At family meals we only make one meal being sure to include at least one thing that each person really likes but insist that you have a bite of everything (at least one "no thank you" bite.) There is more I'm sure but these are just some of what works for us. Also, family walks and hikes having a dog helps - and bicycling and swimming and gymnastics/parkour/climbing. And lots of water. (And ice cream!) Everything in moderation and keep it fun. Good luck. I |
Anonymous
I don't understand why the idea of weighing a kid makes you go ape-sh** . It's not that big of a deal. It's a scale. Nothing to be afraid of, PP. |