Confessions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP of the salacious part of this thread here. I can't believe I've given rise to a meet up!

mmm. perhaps you would consider a third as well?

[Anonymous]

I resent the fact that my husband spends very little time with the kids. And that when he does, inevitably, he's distracted by his Blackberry, the TV, the ball game on the computer, etc.

I resent the fact that my husband also does none of the "dirty work" of parenting - he doesn't get up with the baby at 5am -- ever -- he doesn't get up with the toddler at 7am, he doesn't change diapers because he claims he doesn't smell the poop, he doesn't put the toddler down for a nap because he claims I do it better, he doesn't do well feeding the baby (he claims she won't eat for him), he can't get the toddler down to sleep at night (if I have to work late, I almost always come home to a shrieking child way past his bedtime).

[Anonymous]

I am fanatical about "if you open it, close it ... if you turn it on, turn it off", etc. I get this from my mother. My husband hates it, but why does he always open the pantry door and then leave it open?!

Also, my husband and I agree that his parents are very slobby. When they come to visit, they make a mess of the common areas. (How many coffee cups do they really need to use? We find them all over the place after they leave.) But what my husband doesn't know is that he's *this* close to being as bad as they are. (He thinks he's much better. He isn't.)

[jessicarabbit]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP of the salacious part of this thread here. I can't believe I've given rise to a meet up!

mmm. perhaps you would consider a third as well?

perhaps...I'm waiting. We could have a "playdate" with the kids, our husbands would be oblivious

[Anonymous]

Everytime my husband goes out of town I throw away a few items of his lifelong "stuff" that is permantently stored in our house. I know this is bad but he never deals with his stuff and when i ask him to, he puts it off (and if i nag him about it I can pretty much assume he will never do it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everytime my husband goes out of town I throw away a few items of his lifelong "stuff" that is permantently stored in our house. I know this is bad but he never deals with his stuff and when i ask him to, he puts it off (and if i nag him about it I can pretty much assume he will never do it.)

And I bet he doesn't even notice, does he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder why some moms had kids. You work 10 hour days and see your kids on the weekends only. Unless you absolutely HAVE to be working to survive then it seems sort of odd to have kids when your career 100% comes first. And I hate it when moms say they wouldnt work if they could afford not to. Then they send their kids to private schools and have nice cars/houses. If you gave up some of those things you COULD stay home. Just admit it that you dont like being a mom that much and move on.

Cant wait to see how these poor little kids end up now that so many of them are raised by West African nannies all day!!

I'm a nanny and sometimes I feel exactly the same way-we're not supposed to judge the families we work for yet we do it all the time, but what's up with the "West African nannies" comment? Did you just mean to say nannies?

I agree w/this first post except i think there are lots of moms who love their careers and their kids. So they make it work by doing part-time or flex schedule or taking a year off or whatever. I think it's great when moms work. But i dont think it is cool to have kids and never see them. If you cant scale back career until your kids are in school 9-3pm then why have kids???

I would love to be a SAHM and we could afford to live on one salary, HOWEVER, (and I know everyone has there own opinion to raising children) I feel it is my duty to show my daughter that she doesn't have to choose. That she can be super successful and have a loving family. I have a great husband and we share all the housework and the salaries. My mom was SAHM and she didn't have an equal say in finances, or alot of things really, and she never got to have a career which I know she wanted. It was her choice to SAH, but I feel like my parents didn't really push me because they expected that I would be a mom one day, so why bother. I was a competitive kid anyway, so I became pretty successful. its not that I don't fully respect my mother, but I feel like she never really grew up or had a life too and it makes me sad and a little resentful.

[Anonymous]

I hate my sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had sex with about 25-30 different people before I got married too. Alcohol undoubtedly played a role in much of it. Some one night stands but mostly serial monogomay and the fact that I started dating in my late teens and didn't get married until I was almost 40. There's a lot of time to fill in there. I don't remember all of their names but that is as much due to the passage of time and the fact that I have a high stress job and 2 kids to worry about which appears to have effected my brain power as it does the fact that there is something regretable in the statistic. I honestly don't regret this fact about my past in the slightest. I'm entirely fine with it. Doesn't make me feel slutty or indicate low self esteem. I had fun, I made choices, I practiced safe sex and never got any diseases. etc Things turned out fine. I don't think men spend a lot of time regretting sexual history I try not to waste my regrets on that.

I hear you sister. I married in my late 30s, slept with 31 people, and regret nothing. Happy as can be right now. I didn't have low self-esteem. Just a lot of curiousity about men. I enjoyed the hell out of my pre-marriage days.

Hear hear. I slept with about 15 men before meeting my husband (it is slightly embarrassing that I am not quite sure of the number- maybe 14, maybe 16...). And don't see what was so bad about that.

My confession: when my marriage went bad, I placed an ad on Craigslist personals! And met and slept with several men (I was still married-- telling my husband I wanted to separate and struggling to do so-- he is a controlling bully-- but still married, yes). And I am really really glad I did that. After 10 years of monogamy with an emotionally abusive man it was something I really needed. They were terrific men (yes, there were lots of not-so-terrific responses too and I had to do a lot of pruning and background checking), and I am still in touch with all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everytime my husband goes out of town I throw away a few items of his lifelong "stuff" that is permantently stored in our house. I know this is bad but he never deals with his stuff and when i ask him to, he puts it off (and if i nag him about it I can pretty much assume he will never do it.)

And I bet he doesn't even notice, does he?

I do this too. I tossed several of his more hideous ties recently. So far he has not noticed.

[Anonymous]

I like the smell of my own farts, but I get really grossed out by other people's farts.

[Anonymous]

I like rough sex -- nothing kinky, just mild domination-- but am too chicken to tell DH, who's waaaay too sweet and tentative for my taste. I also think DH is sexually kind of a clutz. After eight years of marriage he still starts massaging some random bit of labia about half the time and I have to gently move his hand to my clitoris, the location of which always seems to surprise him. No sense of pacing or rhythm, either. If I don't sort of grab his hand and start moving it myself he'll just keep moving it vaguely back and forth for half an hour, with no particular change in motion or pressure no matter what I do. But I don't say this to him because the few times I tried to talk about it he got so hurt and offended, and nothing changed. I need to fantasize about rough sex with strangers to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like rough sex -- nothing kinky, just mild domination-- but am too chicken to tell DH, who's waaaay too sweet and tentative for my taste. I also think DH is sexually kind of a clutz. After eight years of marriage he still starts massaging some random bit of labia about half the time and I have to gently move his hand to my clitoris, the location of which always seems to surprise him. No sense of pacing or rhythm, either. If I don't sort of grab his hand and start moving it myself he'll just keep moving it vaguely back and forth for half an hour, with no particular change in motion or pressure no matter what I do. But I don't say this to him because the few times I tried to talk about it he got so hurt and offended, and nothing changed. I need to fantasize about rough sex with strangers to come.

I could have written this post. Only diff is that after nearly 10 years I've about given up--the sex is sooo underwhelming, what's the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like rough sex -- nothing kinky, just mild domination-- but am too chicken to tell DH, who's waaaay too sweet and tentative for my taste. I also think DH is sexually kind of a clutz. After eight years of marriage he still starts massaging some random bit of labia about half the time and I have to gently move his hand to my clitoris, the location of which always seems to surprise him. No sense of pacing or rhythm, either. If I don't sort of grab his hand and start moving it myself he'll just keep moving it vaguely back and forth for half an hour, with no particular change in motion or pressure no matter what I do. But I don't say this to him because the few times I tried to talk about it he got so hurt and offended, and nothing changed. I need to fantasize about rough sex with strangers to come.

Oh, the sweet inexperienced ones can surprise you - eventually. Like some of the prior posters, I wasn't exactly a virgin when I got married at 29. My DH told me when we were dating that he didn't want to talk about either of our pasts, but as long as the number of people was less than he could count on his fingers he didn't care. The stricken look on my face made him hastily add "and toes." Whew. Just made that one.

Start with buying a copy of The Joy of Sex and asking him if he would like to try some of those things. It can go from there. My inexperienced guy who once admitted to me he's never been able to bring a BJ to "fruition" has recently, at 40, discovered that anal sex is really exciting and daring for him. Two glasses of wine and I'm in for that! The upside of this kind of guy is he never had the degrading porn habit that some of my more adventurous suitors did... Plus, whatever you do, you get to blow HIS mind, and there is power in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't believe in religion but most of my friends do and I go along with it.

I did this for years. It is so much easier now to admit that I don't believe any of it.