Typical SAHM with school aged kids day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who poster her schedule. I think the bantering has a lot to do with jealousy and refusal to accept that there is value in serving your family at home. Not everyone agrees on what the value is exactly, but everyone family has the right to decide what it's worth to them. I may go back to work someday. I don't know. But what I know is that serving my children and husband and making our home lives run smoothly is worth it to me. I don't view it as degenerating myself or putting women back. I just enjoy it and am lucky enough that we can afford to live on one income (although we live in "shudder" Prince William County).

I can guarantee the majority of women who don't respect the contributions of SAHMs with schoolage kids aren't jealous. I certainly do think there is value in staying home when kids are little (though I wouldn't call it "serving my husband and children - *shudder*). I think doing it beyond that reeks of laziness and dependency.

I'm a PP (who walks dog, cleans up, cooks, etc)...my youngest just went to K this year. It's my first time since having my kids that I am home alone. It's amazing. People are always complaining they don't have any "me" time (I've seems lots of threads on THAT)..and, finally, I have some, and you call it lazy? My life is relaxed, orderly, content, happy..what the F is the crime in that? Husband loves his job. No issue/conflict there.

+1
Isn't it funny that we read all these pathetic threads about dual-income working couples who have absolutely no time for anything, including their kids or themselves. And then when the other side of the coin is presented, that is, SAHMs who are able to create unharried, unchaotic, calm, productive, joyful lives for themselves and their family members, all hell breaks loose and condescension reigns supreme. It is painfully obvious that those women trying frantically to "do it all" but not doing anything particularly well, can't stand to hear about lives which are balanced and enjoyable. The envy/resentment/bitterness just drips off their posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

the point
_________________

your head

Hmm, I think the pp actually hit it pretty spot-on.

I cannot believe the SAHMs responding like this don't see the irony. It truly boggles the mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who poster her schedule. I think the bantering has a lot to do with jealousy and refusal to accept that there is value in serving your family at home. Not everyone agrees on what the value is exactly, but everyone family has the right to decide what it's worth to them. I may go back to work someday. I don't know. But what I know is that serving my children and husband and making our home lives run smoothly is worth it to me. I don't view it as degenerating myself or putting women back. I just enjoy it and am lucky enough that we can afford to live on one income (although we live in "shudder" Prince William County).

I can guarantee the majority of women who don't respect the contributions of SAHMs with schoolage kids aren't jealous. I certainly do think there is value in staying home when kids are little (though I wouldn't call it "serving my husband and children - *shudder*). I think doing it beyond that reeks of laziness and dependency.

I'm a PP (who walks dog, cleans up, cooks, etc)...my youngest just went to K this year. It's my first time since having my kids that I am home alone. It's amazing. People are always complaining they don't have any "me" time (I've seems lots of threads on THAT)..and, finally, I have some, and you call it lazy? My life is relaxed, orderly, content, happy..what the F is the crime in that? Husband loves his job. No issue/conflict there.

+1
Isn't it funny that we read all these pathetic threads about dual-income working couples who have absolutely no time for anything, including their kids or themselves. And then when the other side of the coin is presented, that is, SAHMs who are able to create unharried, unchaotic, calm, productive, joyful lives for themselves and their family members, all hell breaks loose and condescension reigns supreme. It is painfully obvious that those women trying frantically to "do it all" but not doing anything particularly well, can't stand to hear about lives which are balanced and enjoyable. The envy/resentment/bitterness just drips off their posts.

I work and so does my husband. Our lives are calm, unhurried (as much as life with two young boys can be) and utterly enjoyable. Just as you can't believe working moms aren't jealous, I can't believe SAHMs think no working couples also have happy and productive lives. We just do more than you, and do it better. Like men are expected to.

And can we please stop saying jealousy? Jealous of what, exactly? Financially I could stay home forever (using MY money, not my husband's) but I choose to do work I find fulfilling. I know you can't imagine it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am honestly curious about WOHM schedules. Particularly, the hours you see your kids and the things you do. Please detail. TIA!

Yes, I'm honestly curious too! No judgment or anything!

I’m a WOHM to one toddler in daycare, with a full time job and a long commute – thankfully both DH and my work schedules are pretty flexible for now

6:45am: wake up, shower, get myself ready for work
7:30am: wake up DD, hang out for 15 minutes before I have to leave for the office (DH does breakfast and daycare drop-off)
7:45am: leave for work, usually arriving shortly after 9am
4:50pm: leave the office
6pm: pick up DD
6:45pm: DH gets home, we eat dinner (usually made the night before, or in bulk at the weekend)
7:30pm: DD bath
8pm: DD bed
8-10:30pm: kitchen clean-up/laundry/catch up on work stuff/do any household admin/cook next day’s dinner/pack DD’s food for daycare – on Mondays I watch The Bachelor
10:30pm: bed

We have a cleaner who comes every 2 weeks and does the heavy-duty stuff, otherwise we clean as we go. I do laundry on Wednesday nights and over the weekend. Usually do one big grocery shop at the weekend and occasionally run to the store after DD goes to sleep during the week.

I think I would like to be a SAHM - especially when the kids are in early elementary school - but I don't think it's an option for us right now. My husband and I make about the same amount of money so it would be a big drop in earnings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

the point
_________________

your head

Hmm, I think the pp actually hit it pretty spot-on.

I cannot believe the SAHMs responding like this don't see the irony. It truly boggles the mind.

We see what you believe to be the irony, we just know you're coming from a place of ignorance. In the vast majority of cases, we SAHMs didn't just announce we were quitting our jobs and expected our spouse to go along with it and support us, it was a joint decision based on what's best for the family. I respect my husband for many reasons, including his contributions to the family, both monetary and non-monetary, and he respects me the same way. Obviously someone has to provide financial support for the family, but I don't respect my husband more because he provides the financial support and not the stuff I do all day, and vice versa. If he couldn't support the family alone, I would go back to work to do it. So no, his paycheck isn't the only reason I value my husband, and I would still respect him if we'd instead decided that he would stay home and I would work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I sat at home all day I'd wonder what I did too. However if you had any reading comprehension at all you'd see women active in their communities and schools, volunteering, living healthy lives, making homemade meals for their families, and actively helping family members and friends.

You apparently miss all that in your judgment and sheer bitchiness or jealousy. Your loss.

When I was in my late twenties and unhappy in my job, I did some soul searching and reading that guided me to outline my perfect day. In it, I worked part time, volunteered a few hours, took dance classes (my passion), and spent quality time with my then-fictitious partner and children. Some day I hope to have that. It sounds like some of the women on this board have found what works for them and their families. Who outlines their perfect days to include two hour commutes and meetings?

[Anonymous]

People should do what they want, it doesn't really affect me. Some of the SAHMs at our school do a ton of volunteering and organizing and orchestrating stuff for the school. I appreciate that. Personally, I could not SAH unless I got involved in the school or other volunteer opportunities, because I would be bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

the point
_________________

your head

Hmm, I think the pp actually hit it pretty spot-on.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who poster her schedule. I think the bantering has a lot to do with jealousy and refusal to accept that there is value in serving your family at home. Not everyone agrees on what the value is exactly, but everyone family has the right to decide what it's worth to them. I may go back to work someday. I don't know. But what I know is that serving my children and husband and making our home lives run smoothly is worth it to me. I don't view it as degenerating myself or putting women back. I just enjoy it and am lucky enough that we can afford to live on one income (although we live in "shudder" Prince William County).

I can guarantee the majority of women who don't respect the contributions of SAHMs with schoolage kids aren't jealous. I certainly do think there is value in staying home when kids are little (though I wouldn't call it "serving my husband and children - *shudder*). I think doing it beyond that reeks of laziness and dependency.

I'm a PP (who walks dog, cleans up, cooks, etc)...my youngest just went to K this year. It's my first time since having my kids that I am home alone. It's amazing. People are always complaining they don't have any "me" time (I've seems lots of threads on THAT)..and, finally, I have some, and you call it lazy? My life is relaxed, orderly, content, happy..what the F is the crime in that? Husband loves his job. No issue/conflict there.

+1
Isn't it funny that we read all these pathetic threads about dual-income working couples who have absolutely no time for anything, including their kids or themselves. And then when the other side of the coin is presented, that is, SAHMs who are able to create unharried, unchaotic, calm, productive, joyful lives for themselves and their family members, all hell breaks loose and condescension reigns supreme. It is painfully obvious that those women trying frantically to "do it all" but not doing anything particularly well, can't stand to hear about lives which are balanced and enjoyable. The envy/resentment/bitterness just drips off their posts.

I work and so does my husband. Our lives are calm, unhurried (as much as life with two young boys can be) and utterly enjoyable. Just as you can't believe working moms aren't jealous, I can't believe SAHMs think no working couples also have happy and productive lives. We just do more than you, and do it better. Like men are expected to.

And can we please stop saying jealousy? Jealous of what, exactly? Financially I could stay home forever (using MY money, not my husband's) but I choose to do work I find fulfilling. I know you can't imagine it.

SAHM's don't think this. SAHM's are defending what they do, and not criticizing working mothers at all. Most SAHM's I know think the world of working mothers...except the ones who criticize us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok I WOHM and on days I'm home I still have a 2 yr old.

But in my imaginarium, when all are in school it would go as such: DH and I get kids off to school. Go back to bed and get it on for a while. Then either go for a run/exercise/walk the dog or nap... get up by noon, make lunch. He works from home while I clean up/do laundry/organize the clutter of life/finalize dinner ideas/prep. On other days we may go to a matinee or clothing shopping for a couple hours. Pick up kids, tackle homework, hang out together til bedtime.

Awesome. But after a few months I think it would get old fast unless I found an activity to improve myself like going back to school, getting more credentials or learning/improving a skill like yoga or martial arts.

Okay, so what? Most of the SAHMs I know aren't sitting around letting their brains atrophy, they're often learning new skills or hobbies, or teaching themselves how to do things rather than throwing money at problems. During the time I've been a SAHM, I've trained for a triathlon, learned to knit and sew (my daughter loves being able to choose exactly what her clothes will look like so I make a lot of hers; my son couldn't care less so I buy his stuff), taught myself how to build closet shelving so I could do my own custom shelving for the pantry and broom closet (I didn't like what was in there before), and am now developing those skills further to make built-ins for our mud room. Our house is getting ready for a freshening up, so I'm also doing some online interior design courses/tutorials so I can do it myself rather than hiring a professional. I've used various courses and programs to gain basic proficiency in my in-laws' native language so that I can carry on a conversation when we visit their family back in their home country. My history education growing up wasn't great, but I've really gotten into historical fiction lately so when I'm reading a book about a time/place I'm not familiar with, I use my free time to do some research and learning. I've taught myself to do all manner of home repair so that when an outlet stops working, a faucet starts leaking, or the fence gate won't close anymore, I can just take care of it myself right then (or after a trip to the store) rather than waiting for my husband to come home or call an electrician/plumber/fence company for everything.

I think this sounds great. I would love to learn this stuff. The saddest thing about this thread is that the bitter people who hate SAHMs will only respect your new skills if you make money doing them. You can't do anything for passion and enjoyment; only the paycheck matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With all the exercising and volunteering, DC must be a veritable paradise with very fit ladies!

I do wonder why the SAHMs I know aren't fitter.

I know a few who seem to be in fabulous shape!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who poster her schedule. I think the bantering has a lot to do with jealousy and refusal to accept that there is value in serving your family at home. Not everyone agrees on what the value is exactly, but everyone family has the right to decide what it's worth to them. I may go back to work someday. I don't know. But what I know is that serving my children and husband and making our home lives run smoothly is worth it to me. I don't view it as degenerating myself or putting women back. I just enjoy it and am lucky enough that we can afford to live on one income (although we live in "shudder" Prince William County).

I can guarantee the majority of women who don't respect the contributions of SAHMs with schoolage kids aren't jealous. I certainly do think there is value in staying home when kids are little (though I wouldn't call it "serving my husband and children - *shudder*). I think doing it beyond that reeks of laziness and dependency.

I'm a PP (who walks dog, cleans up, cooks, etc)...my youngest just went to K this year. It's my first time since having my kids that I am home alone. It's amazing. People are always complaining they don't have any "me" time (I've seems lots of threads on THAT)..and, finally, I have some, and you call it lazy? My life is relaxed, orderly, content, happy..what the F is the crime in that? Husband loves his job. No issue/conflict there.

+1
Isn't it funny that we read all these pathetic threads about dual-income working couples who have absolutely no time for anything, including their kids or themselves. And then when the other side of the coin is presented, that is, SAHMs who are able to create unharried, unchaotic, calm, productive, joyful lives for themselves and their family members, all hell breaks loose and condescension reigns supreme. It is painfully obvious that those women trying frantically to "do it all" but not doing anything particularly well, can't stand to hear about lives which are balanced and enjoyable. The envy/resentment/bitterness just drips off their posts.

I work and so does my husband. Our lives are calm, unhurried (as much as life with two young boys can be) and utterly enjoyable. Just as you can't believe working moms aren't jealous, I can't believe SAHMs think no working couples also have happy and productive lives. We just do more than you, and do it better. Like men are expected to.

And can we please stop saying jealousy? Jealous of what, exactly? Financially I could stay home forever (using MY money, not my husband's) but I choose to do work I find fulfilling. I know you can't imagine it.

Clearly you are just better than me. You win! You know what the difference between us is? I don't go into working mom threads- EVER - to tak about how amazing I am.

Why? Because I truly love my life. Why - exactly- are you in here insulting women who have absolutely NOTHING to do with you or your boys?

I'd really examine that were I you. Perhaps you aren't as amazingly content as you profess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am honestly curious what other people's days are typically like. May be I am trying to get inspired. I am a SAHM, so I am not judging at all! Please don't let this devolve into a war. Thanks for your honest replies.

Good luck with this not dissolving into a war. The first reply is such a painfully obvious attempt to start one.

This is my first school year with all four of our children out of the house.

After the children leave I do a quick pick up of the house. Then I go for a run and work out. After I do household management. Bills, correspondence, scheduling, planning. I try to keep the time from 10 to 2 for all errands, school things and volunteer work. This can be serious to frivolous. It might be getting my hair done or working on an upcoming charity event. I keep busy. I do eat lunch out every day. Once a week with my mom, once with my DH and once with my girlfriends. Then it is dinner prep. Getting the kids started on homework or activities. Once DH gets home its the wonderful chaos of dinner, playtime, bedtime. Another quick pick up of the house and then couple time.

My days vary but I keep a packed and organized schedule. I worked in nonprofit before children and so that is where I gravitate now.

I am not new to SAHM, but have lost the desire to schedule anything. I like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who poster her schedule. I think the bantering has a lot to do with jealousy and refusal to accept that there is value in serving your family at home. Not everyone agrees on what the value is exactly, but everyone family has the right to decide what it's worth to them. I may go back to work someday. I don't know. But what I know is that serving my children and husband and making our home lives run smoothly is worth it to me. I don't view it as degenerating myself or putting women back. I just enjoy it and am lucky enough that we can afford to live on one income (although we live in "shudder" Prince William County).

I can guarantee the majority of women who don't respect the contributions of SAHMs with schoolage kids aren't jealous. I certainly do think there is value in staying home when kids are little (though I wouldn't call it "serving my husband and children - *shudder*). I think doing it beyond that reeks of laziness and dependency.

I'm a PP (who walks dog, cleans up, cooks, etc)...my youngest just went to K this year. It's my first time since having my kids that I am home alone. It's amazing. People are always complaining they don't have any "me" time (I've seems lots of threads on THAT)..and, finally, I have some, and you call it lazy? My life is relaxed, orderly, content, happy..what the F is the crime in that? Husband loves his job. No issue/conflict there.

+1
Isn't it funny that we read all these pathetic threads about dual-income working couples who have absolutely no time for anything, including their kids or themselves. And then when the other side of the coin is presented, that is, SAHMs who are able to create unharried, unchaotic, calm, productive, joyful lives for themselves and their family members, all hell breaks loose and condescension reigns supreme. It is painfully obvious that those women trying frantically to "do it all" but not doing anything particularly well, can't stand to hear about lives which are balanced and enjoyable. The envy/resentment/bitterness just drips off their posts.

I work and so does my husband. Our lives are calm, unhurried (as much as life with two young boys can be) and utterly enjoyable. Just as you can't believe working moms aren't jealous, I can't believe SAHMs think no working couples also have happy and productive lives. We just do more than you, and do it better. Like men are expected to.

And can we please stop saying jealousy? Jealous of what, exactly? Financially I could stay home forever (using MY money, not my husband's) but I choose to do work I find fulfilling. I know you can't imagine it.

That's great. Then why are you chiming in on a post about what SAHMs do during the day when they have school-aged kids? Are you the PP who claims we "reek of laziness and dependency"? Because people who make statements like that (or even agree with them) are clearly resentful of something. Otherwise, if your life is as rosy as you describe, why on earth would you care how the rest of us choose to live our lives? I certainly don't care that you work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I sat at home all day I'd wonder what I did too. However if you had any reading comprehension at all you'd see women active in their communities and schools, volunteering, living healthy lives, making homemade meals for their families, and actively helping family members and friends.

You apparently miss all that in your judgment and sheer bitchiness or jealousy. Your loss.

When I was in my late twenties and unhappy in my job, I did some soul searching and reading that guided me to outline my perfect day. In it, I worked part time, volunteered a few hours, took dance classes (my passion), and spent quality time with my then-fictitious partner and children. Some day I hope to have that. It sounds like some of the women on this board have found what works for them and their families. Who outlines their perfect days to include two hour commutes and meetings?

Who outlines their perfect days to include two hours of driving kids around to lessons and practices?