Typical SAHM with school aged kids day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, these aren't lives.

Begone, troll

Not a troll. Think it's pathetic that women go to the gym, "do paperwork" (whatever), and get pedicures and call it a day. Hope they have more ami iron for their daughters.

I have a husband who travels frequently when not working from home. Our life would be chaos and I would be a resentful mess if I was back at my 60 hour a week career in finance which also included frequent travel. I had a tremendously successful career which I'm happy to talk to my children about. I'm also happy to teach them about being adaptable and that I could make the choice to do what was best for an entire family of people because I loved them. Our house is peaceful and their lives are better because of the choice my husband and I made. You may find that pathetic but I'm quite proud of all of the choices I've made as well as the home life we've created for our kids. Luckily your judgment doesn't affect me in any way. You may not think you are a troll but you certainly aren't the sort of woman I would hope my daughter turns out to be.

I'm not paying for college to see my daughter stay home.

Per the woman that says she is not paying for college to see your daughter stay at home, well- you aren't the one that will be making that decision. She is, when she is likely 30 plus, and college is already paid for. And not sure I get it. Don't you want your grandchildren to be raised by someone educated? And if were are really being crass, educated men do not tend to marry uneducated women. Most of my friends are very highly educated (Harvard, Georgetown, Williams, etc.) the vast majority are SAHMs. They are wonderful women whose husbands make very good incomes and they, together, because they are educated and smart, decided what was best for their situation and family. I could only hope the same for my daughter and son!

+100
All of the above is true in my life as well. I really don't get these women who claim they would never support their daughter through higher education AND being a SAHM. How ridiculously short-sighted. It just makes those women look completely ignorant and bitter, which I suppose they must be, based on these posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am honestly curious about WOHM schedules. Particularly, the hours you see your kids and the things you do. Please detail. TIA!

Yes, I'm honestly curious too! No judgment or anything!

I know you're being snarky, but here's mine.

7 am - wakeup and eat breakfast
8 am - nanny arrives and I go to work in my home office
11:30 am - all eat lunch together, DC and I take a walk together
12:30 pm - back to work
5 pm - nanny leaves and DC and I make dinner
6 pm - DH arrives home and we eat
7 pm - play, bath
8 pm - bedtime

When DC nursed, I nursed on my break times as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, these aren't lives.

Begone, troll

Not a troll. Think it's pathetic that women go to the gym, "do paperwork" (whatever), and get pedicures and call it a day. Hope they have more ami iron for their daughters.

I have a husband who travels frequently when not working from home. Our life would be chaos and I would be a resentful mess if I was back at my 60 hour a week career in finance which also included frequent travel. I had a tremendously successful career which I'm happy to talk to my children about. I'm also happy to teach them about being adaptable and that I could make the choice to do what was best for an entire family of people because I loved them. Our house is peaceful and their lives are better because of the choice my husband and I made. You may find that pathetic but I'm quite proud of all of the choices I've made as well as the home life we've created for our kids. Luckily your judgment doesn't affect me in any way. You may not think you are a troll but you certainly aren't the sort of woman I would hope my daughter turns out to be.

I'm not paying for college to see my daughter stay home.

I don't think most SAHMs graduate from college and immediately stay home. Many have jobs and careers for years before they SAHM.

I work out of the home myself.

However - why is it that so many people on this site think it is ok for daycare providers, nannies, housecleaners, and other household employees to do the very real work of watching the kids, cleaning the house, cooking the meals, but it is somehow demeaning for the mother of the children to do so? Legit question. Please answer.

PP, I've asked this question before and the answers (if you get any at all) will be: "Because those people (nannies, daycare providers, etc.) are getting paid, of course! So they're doing a "real" job, whereas a SAHM isn't bringing in any income, so we don't respect her!" It's so predictable as to be almost funny. Almost. Except when you consider that these people don't consider taking care of their own children to be worthy in and of itself. Then it's just very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

Say the SAHs that rely on their husband's salary to support the whole family.

I value a more egalitarian relationship and the 1950s model of man makes $ and woman cleans and cooks isn't that. Putting some financial burden on I e person is stressful.

Again, we aren't talking about a place and time such as when kids are I nfants and toddlers---we are talking about quitting work early 30s and having 6.5 hours of solitude at home while the kids are at school and spouse puts in 8-12 hour work days.

I used to think like you. I even told my then fiancé, now DH, I would never ever ever be a SAHP. I wasn't built for it and I would go batshit crazy. Never say never. Life intervened and threw us several wallops and kept on throwing them, which made the dual wohp dynamic unworkable. At all. While it was true, I was a natural wohp and it took a very long time to figure out the SAHP gig for me, it has been beneficial for everyone in our family. It has enabled both DH and I to spend more time with our children, have more couple time and be available to friend and family members when they were in need. Our life (DH's too) is more relaxed and enjoyable as a result.

Plus, we still have an every other week housecleaner because neither one of us wants to clean. We both tidy though.

You figure out what works best for your family with the options available to your family. Life is not so black and white. It is filled with the glorious grey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

Really glad I didn't marry a man who wouldn't respect me for taking care of our own children. Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Again--the kids are in school all day . Both parents take equal care of the kids. One doing drop-off, one doing pickups. I know it's hard for some to stay on track::: kids are not home in these scenarios. If my DH sat at home 7 hours a day--is be wondering what the hell he did those 35 hours too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who does this. Her child are in college and have just graduated. She "cleans the house", works out for three hours a day, and meets friends. I personally don't understand it.

The beauty of it is that you don't need to understand it. It's her life, not yours.

[Anonymous]

If I sat at home all day I'd wonder what I did too. However if you had any reading comprehension at all you'd see women active in their communities and schools, volunteering, living healthy lives, making homemade meals for their families, and actively helping family members and friends.

You apparently miss all that in your judgment and sheer bitchiness or jealousy. Your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, these aren't lives.

Begone, troll

Not a troll. Think it's pathetic that women go to the gym, "do paperwork" (whatever), and get pedicures and call it a day. Hope they have more ami iron for their daughters.

It has to do with attractiveness, if you are ugly you need to work harder at life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

I wouldn't respect my husband if he wasn't willing to fairly contribute to the overall well-being of the household. The particular form of each spouse's contributions is really up to a couple to decide. After all, if my husband and I could each individually make $150k if we both worked, so a total HHI of $300k, but my husband could take a different, more demanding job making $400k if I were home to care for the kids and keep things running, isn't it in our financial interests as a couple for me to stay home and let him earn more than we otherwise would together? Or perhaps he'd only make $300k in the new job, but we could have a more enjoyable non-work life together if we weren't spending that time going to Home Depot and the grocery store, wouldn't that be in our interests? Or perhaps he'd only make $250k, but we both agree that the more enjoyable non-work life is worth more than that extra $50k? What then?

If you prioritize your "financial interests as a couple" over his time with his family, then sure, that works. I notice none of your examples involve him staying home with school-age children. Would you be ok with him doing what the majority of the SAHMs here say they do all day while you killed yourself at work? I doubt most would be honest about that.

Not the PP, but your first false assumption is that our husbands "kill" themselves at work. I know that's a popular stereotype you people like to buy into, but it's just not true for the majority of us. My husband works from 9-5:30 just about every day at a job he really enjoys. Hardly killing himself. If our situations were reversed and he was the one at home with school-aged children, I would respect him just as much. Especially if I, as the hypothetical WOHM in this scenario, came home to a beautiful house, with him supervising homework, and a delicious dinner on the table. It would be wonderful to know that while I was at work, he was taking care of everything else and that I didn't need to worry about doing any errands or picking up sick kids from school, etc. He'd have my utmost respect - and gratitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

Say the SAHs that rely on their husband's salary to support the whole family.

I value a more egalitarian relationship and the 1950s model of man makes $ and woman cleans and cooks isn't that. Putting some financial burden on I e person is stressful.

Again, we aren't talking about a place and time such as when kids are I nfants and toddlers---we are talking about quitting work early 30s and having 6.5 hours of solitude at home while the kids are at school and spouse puts in 8-12 hour work days.

I used to think like you. I even told my then fiancé, now DH, I would never ever ever be a SAHP. I wasn't built for it and I would go batshit crazy. Never say never. Life intervened and threw us several wallops and kept on throwing them, which made the dual wohp dynamic unworkable. At all. While it was true, I was a natural wohp and it took a very long time to figure out the SAHP gig for me, it has been beneficial for everyone in our family. It has enabled both DH and I to spend more time with our children, have more couple time and be available to friend and family members when they were in need. Our life (DH's too) is more relaxed and enjoyable as a result.

Plus, we still have an every other week housecleaner because neither one of us wants to clean. We both tidy though.

You figure out what works best for your family with the options available to your family. Life is not so black and white. It is filled with the glorious grey.

To the last responder. Very well said, and I followed your same path.

[Anonymous]

There is no typical day. Every day is different, especially for moms and dads with multiple kids at different ages and stages of development.

This thread is a joke. It still starts from the heterosexist view point that SAH parents are wives, not even considering that gay couples exist and do this.

When will DCUM come out of the dark ages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

the point
_________________

your head

[Anonymous]

I really enjoy being a SAHM. It has absolutely made our lives better. There is no resentment on either side of the equation in our marriage, and I am so thankful to have this choice.

My typical day:

630: up and making breakfast
7:00 get kids up
8:00 leave for school - two different private schools so dropping off, etc. takes until 845/9
9:00 coffee, paper and then clean up kitchen, start a load of laundry, other misc. pick up
9:30 walk dog
1030 I try to work out around this time
12 lunch or errands - about 1x a week I get together with a friend, prep dinner
I am in graduate school so I work in my school work during the day (on line courses).
2-230 scheduling/emailing/etc or bill pay
3:00 being driving for pick up from the two schools
4:00 homework/practices/etc.
6:00 glass of wine and watch a show while cooking dinner
7:00 dinner on a good night
8:00 clean up and time with kids
900/1000 bedtime times with kids, reading with them, reviewing for a test, sitting by fire, etc.
10-11 my time with my husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading through these, I would LOVE to be a SAHM to school aged kids. My husband offered when the kids were babies, but I wasn't in to it then. But when the kids are in school all day, it seems to be a lot of working out, cooking, reading, faffing around (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It sounds like my dream weekends on the rare days when DH takes the kids out all day. Who wouldn't want that to be their main activity?

FWIW, I like aspects of my job but I don't kind myself that I'm not out there curing cancer. I could easily make the switch and not feel bad if we had the money.

I could too, but DH wouldn't respect me and my parents raised me to always have my own income/keep my foot in the door (even if part-time for awhile) so I 'need' to work.

I'm fortunate to be a GS-15 WAH Fed. DH makes 3 times my salary, but we use my work's health benefits and I am also contributing towards retirement.

I think it is sad that your husband wouldn't respect you. Really sad.

Would you respect your husband if he didn't make the money to support you?

It's amazing to me that to some of you, the only value in a spouse is their ability to make money.

the point
_________________

your head

Hmm, I think the pp actually hit it pretty spot-on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I sat at home all day I'd wonder what I did too. However if you had any reading comprehension at all you'd see women active in their communities and schools, volunteering, living healthy lives, making homemade meals for their families, and actively helping family members and friends.

You apparently miss all that in your judgment and sheer bitchiness or jealousy. Your loss.

I think the point is that working moms do all this, too.