I know many successful, beautiful women and we can't find men in DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help!

Seriously, I'm in a group of 12 women - doctors, pharmacists, lawyers, etc. and we can't find any men! We get hit on by married men all the time. Where do we find good men?

Try online dating. I know some people look down on it, and you will get a lot of creepy messages from creepy guys, but there are some sincere men online who don't really know where to meet women, but are otherwise nice. Just be prepared to filter the wheat from the chaf.

Was just going to say: go online. And talk to a lot of people there. And be open to guys who are heavier than what you might now be looking for, or shorter, or who doesn't live right in the best part of town, or whatever. There are some really great guys out there, around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to find a man as successful as you. I am a successful consulting exec and I married a GS13 scientist. His career will never compete with mine, he has a regular schedule, and has enough free time to plan vacations for us and take care of a lot of stuff around the house. Consider men who are less Type A - you are strong independent women who can support yourselves. You can likely also support a man and 2 kids. Date someone who is interesting and brings fun and adventure to your life. Find someone who can be your rock because his job is not stressful or require long hours. I was so driven in my 20s I thought I could only be happy with someone as driven as I was - and then I realized those men were boring and didn't have time for me - and didn't have time to read books or discover new bands or find funny clips to show me on YouTube. I started dating men with solid 9-5 jobs and college degrees who worked to live instead of living to work. I married one and I couldn't be happier.

Love this advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I notice that a lot of DC women require that a man have a college degree from a good school or they will not consider him.

You almost never hear men with this requirement, even those who want LTRs.

Remember, a youngish man with a degree from a good school, who is six feet tall, who is in good shape, who is funny and a has decent personality represents maybe 1-2% of men in this country, and he has a lot of options. Do honestly feel that you are in the top 1-2% of women (from a man's perspective)?

Wow, really? My husband is about 5'10" but otherwise met all those criteria when we first met, and I'm certainly not in the top 1 or 2% of women in this contry. Maybe I married up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help!

Seriously, I'm in a group of 12 women - doctors, pharmacists, lawyers, etc. and we can't find any men! We get hit on by married men all the time. Where do we find good men?

I have a close single friend who is financially set, attractive, cooks, seems to do it all. She is about 50. We've had this conversation and she thinks she has gotten so set in her ways and has become very selective, which is a problem because at her age her options are fewer. There are plenty of available men at this age, but you have to settle for someone divorces, with children, or who is set in their own ways.

Well, I guess you friend will be alone. As someone put up thread, no one gets into and stay in a relationship without some amount of settling. If she is looking for a man in her age group who is: a) not divorced; b) doesn't have children; and c: "not set in his own way" she is being very very unrealistic, and frankly as a man fitting that description she doesn't sound like anyone who I would want to date let alone have a LTR with if that is her attitude.

That being said, as a man of a certain age, I have found my dating pool rather large since getting divorced. I have dated women ranging in age from 25 to 55. In my book my book, the best women are in the age ranges 25 - 30 and 40and up. Any never been married single woman between 30 and 40 is is generally desperate to find a LTR mate. The younger women I have been with since divorcing and reentering the dating pool appreciate the experience of an older man while those 40 and up in my age range are also: a) divorced; b) with children; and c) more set in their ways. I am having fun, and I assume so are they!

I have to go know, my phone is ringing for a date for this weekend! Y'all have a good 4th!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that a lot of DC women require that a man have a college degree from a good school or they will not consider him.

You almost never hear men with this requirement, even those who want LTRs.

Remember, a youngish man with a degree from a good school, who is six feet tall, who is in good shape, who is funny and a has decent personality represents maybe 1-2% of men in this country, and he has a lot of options. Do honestly feel that you are in the top 1-2% of women (from a man's perspective)?

Wow, really? My husband is about 5'10" but otherwise met all those criteria when we first met, and I'm certainly not in the top 1 or 2% of women in this contry. Maybe I married up?

5'10" is much more common (not that this diminishes his, or your value, in any way).

I just did a quick Google search and found that 14 percent of men are estimated to be six feet, or over (not sure how this survey was done, but that sounds about right). Between 25 and 30 percent of men have bachelors degrees.

So, just those two requirements alone limit you to 3-5 percent of men. That's not even getting in to the percent who are in shape, are funny are great in the sack, etc.

My point is that, what a lot of DC women regard as merely adequate is actually a statistical outlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to find a man as successful as you. I am a successful consulting exec and I married a GS13 scientist. His career will never compete with mine, he has a regular schedule, and has enough free time to plan vacations for us and take care of a lot of stuff around the house. Consider men who are less Type A - you are strong independent women who can support yourselves. You can likely also support a man and 2 kids. Date someone who is interesting and brings fun and adventure to your life. Find someone who can be your rock because his job is not stressful or require long hours. I was so driven in my 20s I thought I could only be happy with someone as driven as I was - and then I realized those men were boring and didn't have time for me - and didn't have time to read books or discover new bands or find funny clips to show me on YouTube. I started dating men with solid 9-5 jobs and college degrees who worked to live instead of living to work. I married one and I couldn't be happier.

Is he happy that you are so driven?

He knew who I was when he met me and we dated for 4 years before we married and during that time I travelled full time for work. I knew he was a keeper because he never asked me to stop travelling or slow down. However I did stop travelling because I wanted to and I like coming home to him. So I have made changes - but he's never asked me to. I do it because I want to be a good partner. He enjoys the conveniences my income provides and I enjoy the flexibility his schedule provides us. We sometimes joke we have an opposite marriage and he is the "wife" in the traditional sense, but it suits us well to have found each other.

[Anonymous]

Great!

[Anonymous]

"Between 25 and 30 percent of men have bachelors degrees."

And that number includes basically anything, including degrees from the University of Phoenix and Devry. If you controlled for real schools, it's probably even lower

[Anonymous]

Stop trying to find a man as successful as you. I am a successful consulting exec and I married a GS13 scientist. His career will never compete with mine, he has a regular schedule, and has enough free time to plan vacations for us and take care of a lot of stuff around the house. Consider men who are less Type A - you are strong independent women who can support yourselves. You can likely also support a man and 2 kids. Date someone who is interesting and brings fun and adventure to your life. Find someone who can be your rock because his job is not stressful or require long hours. I was so driven in my 20s I thought I could only be happy with someone as driven as I was - and then I realized those men were boring and didn't have time for me - and didn't have time to read books or discover new bands or find funny clips to show me on YouTube. I started dating men with solid 9-5 jobs and college degrees who worked to live instead of living to work. I married one and I couldn't be happier.

First off, I would say that a GS 13 scientist is nothing to sniff at--those folks are pretty accomplished too!

but I am similar to the PP, although my career sadly does not translate to a high salary. But I was/am ambitious, highly educated (ivy, phd, etc), successful in my career path, plus extremely fit and pretty/attractive (petite, so no leggy drop dead model looks, but never had a problem getting a date). I spend my 20s and 30s looking around for the perfect guy, and realized that he doesn't exist or was so into his perfection that he was not kind, sensitive, funny, etc. I married a 5'9" divorced guy with a kid (never imagined I'd do that) who was romantic, quirky, very intelligent, loving but also with a ton of bad habits (good values, ethics, bad housekeeping, etc). Anyway, its worked and we had more kids, and we are very happy--certainly as happy as my friends who are married to law firm partners. He has a college degree from a good school, but never went to grad school, is not tall and is losing his hair. He had an interesting but low paying job when we met--the funny thing is that he's become more ambitious since we've been together and he's excelling in a new, 'high status' career--but that's just an effect of our solid partnership. By the same token, he completely respects my career and doesn't bat an eye if I travel for work, he takes the kids when I need time off for stuff, etc. I believe we have less money but more equality in our marriage than many and that works for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I notice that a lot of DC women require that a man have a college degree from a good school or they will not consider him.

You almost never hear men with this requirement, even those who want LTRs.

Remember, a youngish man with a degree from a good school, who is six feet tall, who is in good shape, who is funny and a has decent personality represents maybe 1-2% of men in this country, and he has a lot of options. Do honestly feel that you are in the top 1-2% of women (from a man's perspective)?

There's a lot of truth on this thread, but I call b.s. on this one. I have NEVER heard of this, and I'm a 38 y.o. woman who's lived here for 15 years, with lots of female friends both married and not. This poster sounds like someone who's sensitive about where he did or did not to college and is projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that a lot of DC women require that a man have a college degree from a good school or they will not consider him.

You almost never hear men with this requirement, even those who want LTRs.

Remember, a youngish man with a degree from a good school, who is six feet tall, who is in good shape, who is funny and a has decent personality represents maybe 1-2% of men in this country, and he has a lot of options. Do honestly feel that you are in the top 1-2% of women (from a man's perspective)?

There's a lot of truth on this thread, but I call b.s. on this one. I have NEVER heard of this, and I'm a 38 y.o. woman who's lived here for 15 years, with lots of female friends both married and not. This poster sounds like someone who's sensitive about where he did or did not to college and is projecting.

I don't know. A lot of women with degrees seem to feel like they would be "settling" if they married a man without one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that a lot of DC women require that a man have a college degree from a good school or they will not consider him.

You almost never hear men with this requirement, even those who want LTRs.

Remember, a youngish man with a degree from a good school, who is six feet tall, who is in good shape, who is funny and a has decent personality represents maybe 1-2% of men in this country, and he has a lot of options. Do honestly feel that you are in the top 1-2% of women (from a man's perspective)?

There's a lot of truth on this thread, but I call b.s. on this one. I have NEVER heard of this, and I'm a 38 y.o. woman who's lived here for 15 years, with lots of female friends both married and not. This poster sounds like someone who's sensitive about where he did or did not to college and is projecting.

I don't know. A lot of women with degrees seem to feel like they would be "settling" if they married a man without one.

Sorry, it was the "from a good school" part that I don't really believe. A degree, yes - I think most college-educated people, male AMD female, seek same for a lot of reasons. But I don't think many women in DC care which college a guy went to. This is definitely a new one.

[Anonymous]

I think men (who have degrees) are much more flexible about this . It's more of a nice-to-have. For women (who have degrees) it's often a nonnegotiable requirement.

To be fair, women tend to be more flexible when it comes to looks, so I guess it's a wash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that a lot of DC women require that a man have a college degree from a good school or they will not consider him.

You almost never hear men with this requirement, even those who want LTRs.

Remember, a youngish man with a degree from a good school, who is six feet tall, who is in good shape, who is funny and a has decent personality represents maybe 1-2% of men in this country, and he has a lot of options. Do honestly feel that you are in the top 1-2% of women (from a man's perspective)?

There's a lot of truth on this thread, but I call b.s. on this one. I have NEVER heard of this, and I'm a 38 y.o. woman who's lived here for 15 years, with lots of female friends both married and not. This poster sounds like someone who's sensitive about where he did or did not to college and is projecting.

I don't know. A lot of women with degrees seem to feel like they would be "settling" if they married a man without one.

I agree. I wouldn't have considered a man without a graduate degree. Lucky it worked out for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop looking, OP. Start living. You and your GFs reek of desperation.

Go have fun. Don't think about meeting anyone.

Every married woman I know met her husband when she wasn't actively looking.

In fact, I met my husband the night I declared I wasn't going to date for a year. I was having the time if my life, no pressure, just fun.

Oh my gosh me too! I said I was done with dating for a year - met DH that night at a friend's party. =D