Taking shoes off inside your home - are you offended?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Interesting, you do know that a wet towel or baby wipe will have little effect on germs. It what you are worried about is dirt a nice mat at the door should do the trick instead of taking shoes off.

Hehehe, you really think a nice door mat keeps your house clean?!?!?! Hilarious!

Hehehe, you really think that wiping your dog's feet and taking off your shoes means that you do not otherwise have to clean your house and that there is more to your house than the floors.

Your house must be a low-down dirty shame!!! Do you think someone who wipes their dogs' feet wouldn't be as conscientious about the floors and OTHER surfaces? Hehehe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really, this "trash" thing obviously goes both ways. Shoe removers think shoe keepers are trash for not asking them to remove their shoes and shoe wearers think the removers are trash for being rude and presumptuous enough to think the relationship is somehow comfortable enough for the removers to take off their shoes. In my house. It's just a matter of preference. If a person immediately removes their shoes when entering my house, I will not make them feel odd and would hope that if I visit them and forget, they will be kind enough not to remind me. Common manners dictate that guests should not be put on the spot when visiting another's home. If my DH has socks with holes, and you make fun of him after you have asked him to come out of his comfort zone and remove his shoes, then you are the one with the problem.

This poster makes sense.

Nothing is more gross to me than everyone sitting around, in NICE clothes, with their bare or socked feet out. I like beautiful and well-made shoes and I like how they compliment or even MAKE an outfit, even on a normal day. I DO NOT want to stare at someone's gnarly toes or their unmanicured heels....ugh. I would rather risk MRSA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, this "trash" thing obviously goes both ways. Shoe removers think shoe keepers are trash for not asking them to remove their shoes and shoe wearers think the removers are trash for being rude and presumptuous enough to think the relationship is somehow comfortable enough for the removers to take off their shoes. In my house. It's just a matter of preference. If a person immediately removes their shoes when entering my house, I will not make them feel odd and would hope that if I visit them and forget, they will be kind enough not to remind me. Common manners dictate that guests should not be put on the spot when visiting another's home. If my DH has socks with holes, and you make fun of him after you have asked him to come out of his comfort zone and remove his shoes, then you are the one with the problem.

This poster makes sense.

Nothing is more gross to me than everyone sitting around, in NICE clothes, with their bare or socked feet out. I like beautiful and well-made shoes and I like how they compliment or even MAKE an outfit, even on a normal day. I DO NOT want to stare at someone's gnarly toes or their unmanicured heels....ugh. I would rather risk MRSA.

I get the whole "shoes off" thing, but sometimes when I see people with their shoes off, it makes me feel as if they are almost naked. I find it almost disarming. The more completely and nicely dressed they are with only their shoes off, the more I feel that way. If I were in Japan I probably wouldn't feel that way, but I'm not, I'm in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always make sure DH has nice socks on... weeks ago my friend came over to introduce us to her fiance and the guy had a hole in the heel of his socks sooooooooo funny!!!

I don't know how to talk to people like you.

[Anonymous]

There are some houses where I would definitely keep my shoes ON! I happen to know a woman (in this case) who does NOT lift a finger (and her help is even more lazy, if you can believe that). You could absolutely ruin a nice new pair of socks in some dumps.

On the other hand, if someone has a nice, neat, well-kept, new, presentable house - I wouldn't say FU, I'm keeping my shoes on because I'm a jealous b*tch. I've seen this MANY times. No one is fooling anybody.

If I don't like how someone's feet are represented, I certainly would not stare at them, as PP noted. Although I've noticed in this geographical area that people love any excuse to stare. But staring would be poor manners.

I know severe plantar fasciaitis, which would NOT be exacerbated by a period of a few hours of having one's shoes off. Do you keep your shoes on at home? Doubtful.

The needs of the homeowners trump the needs of the temporary visitor; the lattter of which is expected to demonstrate minimal respect of the hosts property and last but not least, the manners to be asked for a return visit. To those who would rather stay home, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This poster makes sense.

Nothing is more gross to me than everyone sitting around, in NICE clothes, with their bare or socked feet out. I like beautiful and well-made shoes and I like how they compliment or even MAKE an outfit, even on a normal day. I DO NOT want to stare at someone's gnarly toes or their unmanicured heels....ugh. I would rather risk MRSA.

Does this also mean that you'd rather that your host's baby get MRSA instead of taking off your 9 West Wannabe Pradas??? I'd certainly rather not stare at someone's gnarly toes or unmanicured heels...but poor white trash shoes are just as offensive...UGH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The thing is, in America, shoes are a sign of formality. My parents (my mother especially) would be very unhappy if we weren't wearing shoes when company came over. To her, wearing shoes is a sign of deference. Yes, guests may track dirt into the house. But to her, it's a host's job to clean -- she wouldn't ask guest to take their plates out to the kitchen or to wipe down the bathroom sink.

YES! Where I grew up (in America), when we went to a friend's house for a playdate, we'd ask the mom, is it ok if I take off my shoes? Of course, the answer was always yes, but it would be extremely rude and presumptuous to remove your shoes and toss them beside the door.

ITTTA, with both PPs. I understand that for some people, this currently isn't the case, that one always takes shoes off in an American house, but for me, growing up, it would be exceedingly rude to take off any clothing in someone else's house, and that included shoes. Someone's bare foot on the floor would be almost as if someone sat their naked bum on the floor. Socks would have been....moderately better, as if someone sat down in their underwear.

There was no need to take off your shoes to keep things "clean" because when we sat down, we sat down on furniture. If babies were on the floor, they were on blankets. I know that's not the case now, people don't use blankets when a kid is on the floor, but one can't keep a house "sterile" by not wearing shoes. That's....coo coo.

I was raised to always and forever make any guest feel comfortable, so if they want to wear shoes, they may do so without reproach (and if I were in Japan, the custom would be to always take shoes off so that's what I would always do). If it meant I had to steam clean after the guests left (which I would never do because that would be ridiculous) then that's what it would mean, but that guest would always feel at home and always want to return for a visit. If they wanted to take off their shoes they could do so (and some that come to my house take off their shoes automatically, and that's absolutely fine, too). It's so weird to me, this whole "shoe taking off/not taking off is trashy" thing. Where were you people raised? To me, doing anything to make a guest feel uncomfortable is what is "trashy". You're lucky to even have guests, their preferences should always be deferred to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ITTTA, with both PPs. I understand that for some people, this currently isn't the case, that one always takes shoes off in an American house, but for me, growing up, it would be exceedingly rude to take off any clothing in someone else's house, and that included shoes. Someone's bare foot on the floor would be almost as if someone sat their naked bum on the floor. Socks would have been....moderately better, as if someone sat down in their underwear.

There was no need to take off your shoes to keep things "clean" because when we sat down, we sat down on furniture. If babies were on the floor, they were on blankets. I know that's not the case now, people don't use blankets when a kid is on the floor, but one can't keep a house "sterile" by not wearing shoes. That's....coo coo.

I was raised to always and forever make any guest feel comfortable, so if they want to wear shoes, they may do so without reproach (and if I were in Japan, the custom would be to always take shoes off so that's what I would always do). If it meant I had to steam clean after the guests left (which I would never do because that would be ridiculous) then that's what it would mean, but that guest would always feel at home and always want to return for a visit. If they wanted to take off their shoes they could do so (and some that come to my house take off their shoes automatically, and that's absolutely fine, too). It's so weird to me, this whole "shoe taking off/not taking off is trashy" thing. Where were you people raised? To me, doing anything to make a guest feel uncomfortable is what is "trashy". You're lucky to even have guests, their preferences should always be deferred to.

Hmmm...it must be old white money then. It IS a fine line between OWM and PWT. BTW, try keeping a crawling baby on a blanket...talk about forced!

[Anonymous]

Plantar faciitis poster here: I do in fact keep my shoes on at home. Dr's orders.

[Anonymous]

I would not be offended, but you would have to ask or have a sign up, I wouldn't just automatically take them off. I hate walking around barefoot and wear flip flops around the house, so i wouldn't cross my mind to take them off unless you asked, but I would not have a problem taking them off, it's your house

[Anonymous]

Eleven pages about shoe etiquette. Wow.

Sort of dims my optimism about the prospects for peace in the Middle East

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I HATE when people ask me to take my shoes off. Why would I want to walk around YOUR house WITHOUT shoes??

A health concern, an infant crawling, an exceptionally muddy day, well okay.

A perfectly normal day? No.

What about in winter when there's salt and slush everywhere. Do you take your shoes off then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always make sure DH has nice socks on... weeks ago my friend came over to introduce us to her fiance and the guy had a hole in the heel of his socks sooooooooo funny!!!
I always ask if people want me to remove my shoes and we leave a couple of shoes out by the door to give guests the clue.
No big deal if they don't get it... It's not like there's people in and out of the house every day all day with their shoes on...

You make someone remove his shoes, then laugh at him when he has a hole in his sock? Classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're German (so, no, being Asian has nothing to do with it) and we also enforce a no shoe policy too.

We just politely say "would you mind taking off your shoes?" Our friends and neighbors know this and have no problem.

I've never heard of anybody being offended by such requests.

Wouldn't etiquette deem that guests abide by rules of the hosts' house?

Do you mean you're of German heritage? Because I'm from Berlin, and I've had anyone ask me to remove my shoes there. It's a cold country with lots of tile and hardwood floors--not terribly comfortable. ANd not really part of the culture. Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're German (so, no, being Asian has nothing to do with it) and we also enforce a no shoe policy too.

We just politely say "would you mind taking off your shoes?" Our friends and neighbors know this and have no problem.

I've never heard of anybody being offended by such requests.

Wouldn't etiquette deem that guests abide by rules of the hosts' house?

Do you mean you're of German heritage? Because I'm from Berlin, and I've had anyone ask me to remove my shoes there. It's a cold country with lots of tile and hardwood floors--not terribly comfortable. ANd not really part of the culture. Just curious.

BTW, Swedes & Russians also take off their shoes in the house. It's perceived as just an Asian thing in the US.