NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about my DD's positive experience as a new girl at NCS middle school this year because she and I were both very pleasantly surprised to find the rumors untrue, at least in her grade, about the numbers of mean girls at NCS. Yes, there are mean girls, as everywhere, but no more than at my DD's last school, which was public. I'm not a member of a damage-control squad (NCS has no need of damage-control) but a mother who hopes that others considering NCS for their daughters will not base their decisions just on myth or rumors. Being at the top, as NCS is, makes one a lightning rod for gossip and innuendo.

You really should reserve your judgement until your DD has been at NCS at least a full year. And how do you know NCS has no need for damage control? You're child has been there what, 4 months. Please.

I am the PP whom you address. Four months is ample time to see that, at least in DD's grade, the mean girls do not exist in the numbers or extent that is rumored. In addition, our experience with NCS predates DD's matriculation, for DD had taken musical instruction from an NCS instructor for several years prior and had come to know several NCS students well.

As for why NCS has no need of damage-control: the school's reputation is stellar, so any insinuations of need for damage-control are at best amusing.

You are in denial..but go ahead and keep your rose-colored glasses on. Just know that four months experience does not make you very credible.

[Anonymous]

Maybe NCS parents should not post about their daughters' experiences during a moratorium that lasts until their daughters' graduation from NCS. After all, how can these girls know, until it's all over, how happy they were at school? As one PP has said, it may be fine the first four months but all turn bad at the one-year mark. Or maybe wait until their daughters are adults and have had therapy that could bring their long-suppressed memories of NCS to the fore? With post-traumatic stress disorder, much therapy may be needed before these girls can really understand what they endured at NCS.

[Anonymous]

We are looking at NCS and Holton for HS (also GDS if she goes co ed but not relevant here though its location is great for us) for our current very talented seventh grader in a PS.

I posted earlier about uniforms. It was not intended to be negative. I was troubled by the focus on material things. This thread has been troubling because the various posters and common buzzwords have some verisimilitude.

I would love to hear more positive experiences from NCS grads along the lines of it was supportive and nurturing and made the girls feel like they were true sisters. I want to believe this. Touting its reputation isnt useful, as the "amused" poster mentioned earlier. It can't all be bad. Experience tells me that what you hear and what is reality are two different things.

[Anonymous]

Don't put too much stock in what is said on an anonymous forum like this. Basing your decision between Holton and NCS on the I-wish-I-had-known threads about the schools would be silly. Also, note that this is a parents' forum: you may have some NCS grads posting, but not as many as you would like, probably. Naturally, not all parents are going to be able to attest second-hand to how "supported" or "nurtured" their daughters feel or felt while at NCS. Often, with teenagers, we parents know only what they tell us; we don't know "how* they felt.

In short, recognize the limitations of this forum.

[Anonymous]

Supportive and nurturing is not synonymous with NCS. It's all about achievement. (See mission statement.) Girls deemed "sensitive" at Beauvoir are the ones encouraged to apply elsewhere. Not my personal experience, but that of several close friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about my DD's positive experience as a new girl at NCS middle school this year because she and I were both very pleasantly surprised to find the rumors untrue, at least in her grade, about the numbers of mean girls at NCS. Yes, there are mean girls, as everywhere, but no more than at my DD's last school, which was public. I'm not a member of a damage-control squad (NCS has no need of damage-control) but a mother who hopes that others considering NCS for their daughters will not base their decisions just on myth or rumors. Being at the top, as NCS is, makes one a lightning rod for gossip and innuendo.

You really should reserve your judgement until your DD has been at NCS at least a full year. And how do you know NCS has no need for damage control? You're child has been there what, 4 months. Please.

I am the PP whom you address. Four months is ample time to see that, at least in DD's grade, the mean girls do not exist in the numbers or extent that is rumored. In addition, our experience with NCS predates DD's matriculation, for DD had taken musical instruction from an NCS instructor for several years prior and had come to know several NCS students well.

As for why NCS has no need of damage-control: the school's reputation is stellar, so any insinuations of need for damage-control are at best amusing.

You are in denial..but go ahead and keep your rose-colored glasses on. Just know that four months experience does not make you very credible.

I think she is credible -- she has stated exactly how long her child has been at the school, and what the experience has been so far. If people don't want to hear from someone whose daughter is in her first year at the school, they can discount her opinion. Why are you so obsessed with putting this poster down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe NCS parents should not post about their daughters' experiences during a moratorium that lasts until their daughters' graduation from NCS. After all, how can these girls know, until it's all over, how happy they were at school? As one PP has said, it may be fine the first four months but all turn bad at the one-year mark. Or maybe wait until their daughters are adults and have had therapy that could bring their long-suppressed memories of NCS to the fore? With post-traumatic stress disorder, much therapy may be needed before these girls can really understand what they endured at NCS.

What a poisonous post disguised as being helpful. (You sound totally crazy, by the way.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Supportive and nurturing is not synonymous with NCS. It's all about achievement. (See mission statement.) Girls deemed "sensitive" at Beauvoir are the ones encouraged to apply elsewhere. Not my personal experience, but that of several close friends.

Where is the most common "elsewhere"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't put too much stock in what is said on an anonymous forum like this. Basing your decision between Holton and NCS on the I-wish-I-had-known threads about the schools would be silly. Also, note that this is a parents' forum: you may have some NCS grads posting, but not as many as you would like, probably. Naturally, not all parents are going to be able to attest second-hand to how "supported" or "nurtured" their daughters feel or felt while at NCS. Often, with teenagers, we parents know only what they tell us; we don't know "how* they felt.

In short, recognize the limitations of this forum.

Late 90's grad posting again. I find this comment to be very appropriate. In summary, I went, I hated, I was not encouraged, I got a great education, but would not encourage my daughter to go.

In my career my specialty is social media and internet, I am am a member of many boards like this - most of which require one to log in. Personally, I think this is for the best, because without accountability people are opt to say many things they would not otherwise. I have a DCUM account, but as soon as I realized this was not the norm for the site, I stopped using it. That being said, I think it IS important to realize this is an anon forum, and people will say things that are perhaps 'over the top.'

I doubt anyone, realistically is going to make such an important decision based on a DCUM thread. I also said in my previous comments that I doubt that my parents knew how unhappy I was at the time - I have shared this with them now, as an adult - more sure of myself and my identity. At the time I knew how desperately they really wanted me to fit in, succeed, and do well at this amazing school.

As I have said before 1) this is a difficult time for any teenager, no matter the school or circumstances, and 2) it totally depends on the girl - NCS may be the perfect school for them. One thing I will not deny is that I good education there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had known that when you are invited to the charity event that costs $15 a person while you still an applicant and the admissions results have not yet come out, the invitation is no indication that you will be admitted. Apparently, as we later found out after paying $15, everyone is invited to the event. I don't think NCS needs to be mindful of the pressure they are putting on applicants when they issue such an invitation. Applicants may feel pressured to pay the $15 a person, or risk detriment to their candidacy.

Wow. I never heard of a school soliciting applicants like that. It calls their ethics into question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had known that when you are invited to the charity event that costs $15 a person while you still an applicant and the admissions results have not yet come out, the invitation is no indication that you will be admitted. Apparently, as we later found out after paying $15, everyone is invited to the event. I don't think NCS needs to be mindful of the pressure they are putting on applicants when they issue such an invitation. Applicants may feel pressured to pay the $15 a person, or risk detriment to their candidacy.

Wow. I never heard of a school soliciting applicants like that. It calls their ethics into question.

What event are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had known that when you are invited to the charity event that costs $15 a person while you still an applicant and the admissions results have not yet come out, the invitation is no indication that you will be admitted. Apparently, as we later found out after paying $15, everyone is invited to the event. I don't think NCS needs to be mindful of the pressure they are putting on applicants when they issue such an invitation. Applicants may feel pressured to pay the $15 a person, or risk detriment to their candidacy.

Wow. I never heard of a school soliciting applicants like that. It calls their ethics into question.

What event are you talking about?

Oops: typo. I meant "I do think NCS needs to be mindful . . . ."

This was a charity event this past spring that girls, including applicants, were invited to attend, at a contribution of $15 per person. My DD attended, partly because I was afraid it would hurt her candidacy if she did not. My DD was admitted, and she attends NCS now. We know of at least one girl who did not get in after her parents had read the invitation to the charity event as a good sign about her application and paid $15 for her to attend. Maybe NCS means well, to give applicants a flavor of school life and make them feel welcome, but the fact that there is an admission fee solicited shoudl make them aware that applicants' families may feel pressured or may read the invitation the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe NCS parents should not post about their daughters' experiences during a moratorium that lasts until their daughters' graduation from NCS. After all, how can these girls know, until it's all over, how happy they were at school? As one PP has said, it may be fine the first four months but all turn bad at the one-year mark. Or maybe wait until their daughters are adults and have had therapy that could bring their long-suppressed memories of NCS to the fore? With post-traumatic stress disorder, much therapy may be needed before these girls can really understand what they endured at NCS.

What a poisonous post disguised as being helpful. (You sound totally crazy, by the way.)

Sorry, I was trying to be sarcastic toward the poster who claimed no parent should post until a girl had been at the school for a year. I guess you thought I was serious? Oh, reading my post that way, it does sound crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe NCS parents should not post about their daughters' experiences during a moratorium that lasts until their daughters' graduation from NCS. After all, how can these girls know, until it's all over, how happy they were at school? As one PP has said, it may be fine the first four months but all turn bad at the one-year mark. Or maybe wait until their daughters are adults and have had therapy that could bring their long-suppressed memories of NCS to the fore? With post-traumatic stress disorder, much therapy may be needed before these girls can really understand what they endured at NCS.

What a poisonous post disguised as being helpful. (You sound totally crazy, by the way.)

Sorry, I was trying to be sarcastic toward the poster who claimed no parent should post until a girl had been at the school for a year. I guess you thought I was serious? Oh, reading my post that way, it does sound crazy!

Sorry, there's been so much over the top stuff that I thought this was genuine. My bad. Cleverly written post by you, though -- the PTSD thing was a nice touch! Time for me to get off DCUM for a while I can see.

[Anonymous]

My daughter got a great education at NCS. I didn't realize how much she hated the school until after graduation when she let it all out over the summer. Fortunately, she's happy at college, first time since she was a little kid that I've heard her bubbling over about her studies.

She throws out all NCS mail, etc. that arrives for her and as alum doesn't want to have anything to do with the school or Cathedral. Many of the girls who were in her graduating class seem to have the same attitude. Initially, I thought post-graduation angst. The reality is that she really hated her experience at the school, she was there for nine years. As parents, we let her down. I remember crying when her NCS acceptance letter arrived in the mail. I know over the top. I thought, wow, my little girl's going to an amazing school, I was so happy for her.

I wish I had known: NCS isn't a great or even okay fit for many girls.