NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

The nicest girl in our neighborhood (parents practically wept when the Best Babysitter in the Universe went off to college) went to NCS and was even class (student government?) president her senior year. Sweet, smart, funny, unassuming and just lovely. I've always taken the "mean girls" stuff with a grain of salt since learning she was at NCS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nicest girl in our neighborhood (parents practically wept when the Best Babysitter in the Universe went off to college) went to NCS and was even class (student government?) president her senior year. Sweet, smart, funny, unassuming and just lovely. I've always taken the "mean girls" stuff with a grain of salt since learning she was at NCS.

I'm re-reading my own post and it seems goofy even to me -- but I guess I was just trying to express that you have to meet real kids and talk to real families to get a picture of any school. I've met families that had negative experiences with NCS too, but some with very, very positive experiences as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I have just reread your question and will try to limit my answer to your question ie what do I wish I had known.

I wish I had known that the Head of School was full of sh*t when she said that the school wants girls who will become leaders and their "authentic" self. Bunch of hogwash. They do not encourage risk taking at all. The girls choices are extremely narrow and so is the tolerance for other points of view.

That is what I wish I knew. The education is quite good but the ethos is not. I actually believe that the school sees the girls as promotional tools for their own ends.

New poster, here. This exactly has been our experience. My daughter graduates this year. Graduation can't come soon enough. Administration is to blame for many of the ncs negatives. Terrible college guidance office. Some truly outstanding teachers but no marter how hard the girls are worked, efforts are not rewarded or celebrated as much as they could be.

[Anonymous]

20:27 here again. Uniforms might help, but as someone said, there are enough things going on outside of school where clothing can still be a factor.

Yes, NCS and STA are separate. But, back when I attended there were many classes together - starting in 8th grade with "Ethics." As we got further into high school there were lots of co-ed classes, some taking place on NCS campus, some over at STA. Also things like dramatic productions, choir, and so on were mixed. By my senior year I would say about 1/3 of my classes were co-ed.

We also used to have dances (do they still do this in school?!) NCS and STA had their own seperate proms, but it was a big deal to go with a guy from STA. Flower Mart also was another time when it was important to have a "date."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it would be helpful to describe the type of girl and family that the culture at NCS best suits.

PP here - late 90's grad... In my class, the girls I felt were happiest / got the most support from the administration:

Extremely brilliant and academically focused girls (there were 5 in my class that got perfect SAT scores) - although not the most popular, they were always able to get the classes they wanted (tracking) and so were encouraged to follow their interests.

OR

Very socially adept, perhaps having gone through puberty earlier (more boyfriends - or boy interest,) well dressed, often not repeating an outfit ever over the school year.

Summary, in a school when everyone is smart - it takes either SUPER smarts or outstanding social skills to stand apart, dominate, and get recognized (by peers or Admins.)

My children attend NCS middle school and STA upper school, and they say that PP's characterization of the two types of girls who dominate at NCS is absolutely spot-on. They say that anyone else at NCS may be happy there but will not stand out, as academic brilliance and social preeminence are what get you recognition at NCS. However, having been to a similar girls' school myself and having the perspective of nearly 50 years of living, I believe that these are the two types of girl students that dominate at *most* schools. Is NCS really so different in this respect from other girls' schools and even from coed schools, including public schools? I do not think so. Upper school is just a microcosm of adult society, and children are modeling what they learn from adults, so just look at the women who dominate in adult society, and one will see what girls are valued in upper school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about my DD's positive experience as a new girl at NCS middle school this year because she and I were both very pleasantly surprised to find the rumors untrue, at least in her grade, about the numbers of mean girls at NCS. Yes, there are mean girls, as everywhere, but no more than at my DD's last school, which was public. I'm not a member of a damage-control squad (NCS has no need of damage-control) but a mother who hopes that others considering NCS for their daughters will not base their decisions just on myth or rumors. Being at the top, as NCS is, makes one a lightning rod for gossip and innuendo.

You really should reserve your judgement until your DD has been at NCS at least a full year. And how do you know NCS has no need for damage control? You're child has been there what, 4 months. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about my DD's positive experience as a new girl at NCS middle school this year because she and I were both very pleasantly surprised to find the rumors untrue, at least in her grade, about the numbers of mean girls at NCS. Yes, there are mean girls, as everywhere, but no more than at my DD's last school, which was public. I'm not a member of a damage-control squad (NCS has no need of damage-control) but a mother who hopes that others considering NCS for their daughters will not base their decisions just on myth or rumors. Being at the top, as NCS is, makes one a lightning rod for gossip and innuendo.

You really should reserve your judgement until your DD has been at NCS at least a full year. And how do you know NCS has no need for damage control? You're child has been there what, 4 months. Please.

I am the PP whom you address. Four months is ample time to see that, at least in DD's grade, the mean girls do not exist in the numbers or extent that is rumored. In addition, our experience with NCS predates DD's matriculation, for DD had taken musical instruction from an NCS instructor for several years prior and had come to know several NCS students well.

As for why NCS has no need of damage-control: the school's reputation is stellar, so any insinuations of need for damage-control are at best amusing.

[Anonymous]

How many can say their DD agrees that these truly are NCS' core values?



OUR CORE VALUES

National Cathedral School lives by these core values:

Excellence: We strive to offer our best work, to maintain the highest standards, and to set goals within a context that honors the contributions and achievements of the entire community.

Service: We believe we have an obligation to make a difference in the world, to contribute to the greater good, and to respond with purpose to the needs of others.

Courage: We act with conviction, strength, and integrity. We stand up for ourselves and others.

Conscience: We work to develop an abiding sense of right and wrong, and guided by that moral sense, seek ethical responses to life’s challenges. We act toward others with kindness, respect, and compassion.


Mission statement: We believe in the power of young women and educate them to embrace our core values of excellence, service, courage, and conscience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about my DD's positive experience as a new girl at NCS middle school this year because she and I were both very pleasantly surprised to find the rumors untrue, at least in her grade, about the numbers of mean girls at NCS. Yes, there are mean girls, as everywhere, but no more than at my DD's last school, which was public. I'm not a member of a damage-control squad (NCS has no need of damage-control) but a mother who hopes that others considering NCS for their daughters will not base their decisions just on myth or rumors. Being at the top, as NCS is, makes one a lightning rod for gossip and innuendo.

You really should reserve your judgement until your DD has been at NCS at least a full year. And how do you know NCS has no need for damage control? You're child has been there what, 4 months. Please.

I am the PP whom you address. Four months is ample time to see that, at least in DD's grade, the mean girls do not exist in the numbers or extent that is rumored. In addition, our experience with NCS predates DD's matriculation, for DD had taken musical instruction from an NCS instructor for several years prior and had come to know several NCS students well.

As for why NCS has no need of damage-control: the school's reputation is stellar, so any insinuations of need for damage-control are at best amusing.

+1. Our daughter is new to the middle school and loves it. It is just insane to suggest that parents of a new and happy happy girl "reserve judgment." Reserve judgment on what? That our daughters are happy?

Some girls and parents are apparently unhappy and think there are mean girls at the school. I would never dream of calling them liars. I'm sure these girls are truly unhappy. I believe them. So, why do others seem to deny the possibility that there are girls, new and old, that are genuinely delighted at the school and have not experienced the mean girl phenomenon?

If negative experiences with the school are ok to post, I should think that positive experiences are ok to post as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about my DD's positive experience as a new girl at NCS middle school this year because she and I were both very pleasantly surprised to find the rumors untrue, at least in her grade, about the numbers of mean girls at NCS. Yes, there are mean girls, as everywhere, but no more than at my DD's last school, which was public. I'm not a member of a damage-control squad (NCS has no need of damage-control) but a mother who hopes that others considering NCS for their daughters will not base their decisions just on myth or rumors. Being at the top, as NCS is, makes one a lightning rod for gossip and innuendo.

You really should reserve your judgement until your DD has been at NCS at least a full year. And how do you know NCS has no need for damage control? You're child has been there what, 4 months. Please.

I am the PP whom you address. Four months is ample time to see that, at least in DD's grade, the mean girls do not exist in the numbers or extent that is rumored. In addition, our experience with NCS predates DD's matriculation, for DD had taken musical instruction from an NCS instructor for several years prior and had come to know several NCS students well.

As for why NCS has no need of damage-control: the school's reputation is stellar, so any insinuations of need for damage-control are at best amusing.

PP, sitting in the halls of the music suite watching students enter and exit from their flute lessons is not getting to know them very well.

Did someone claiming to be a NCS teacher amuse us by posting in this thread?

Hmm, I'll give you two years before you discover the painful truth that the "rumors" actually are true. Why wasn't MoCo schools good enough for ya?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about my DD's positive experience as a new girl at NCS middle school this year because she and I were both very pleasantly surprised to find the rumors untrue, at least in her grade, about the numbers of mean girls at NCS. Yes, there are mean girls, as everywhere, but no more than at my DD's last school, which was public. I'm not a member of a damage-control squad (NCS has no need of damage-control) but a mother who hopes that others considering NCS for their daughters will not base their decisions just on myth or rumors. Being at the top, as NCS is, makes one a lightning rod for gossip and innuendo.

You really should reserve your judgement until your DD has been at NCS at least a full year. And how do you know NCS has no need for damage control? You're child has been there what, 4 months. Please.

I am the PP whom you address. Four months is ample time to see that, at least in DD's grade, the mean girls do not exist in the numbers or extent that is rumored. In addition, our experience with NCS predates DD's matriculation, for DD had taken musical instruction from an NCS instructor for several years prior and had come to know several NCS students well.

As for why NCS has no need of damage-control: the school's reputation is stellar, so any insinuations of need for damage-control are at best amusing.

PP, sitting in the halls of the music suite watching students enter and exit from their flute lessons is not getting to know them very well.

Did someone claiming to be a NCS teacher amuse us by posting in this thread?

Hmm, I'll give you two years before you discover the painful truth that the "rumors" actually are true. Why wasn't MoCo schools good enough for ya?

You make a lot of unfounded assumptions about the degree to which DD got to know other girls at NCS before matriculation; the picture that you paint of passing each other in the music hall is so far off, you have no idea. I think you find amusement in baiting posters to defend NCS, but again my purpose in posting in the first place was to encourage other parents to come to NCS with an open-mind, as my family did, and see for themselves whether NCS is right for their daughter. After four months in school at NCS, DD has made good friends, adores her teachers,and actually wants to go to school, and that is all I ask for as a parent. I'll say it unreservedly: we love NCS.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had known that when you are invited to the charity event that costs $15 a person while you still an applicant and the admissions results have not yet come out, the invitation is no indication that you will be admitted. Apparently, as we later found out after paying $15, everyone is invited to the event. I don't think NCS needs to be mindful of the pressure they are putting on applicants when they issue such an invitation. Applicants may feel pressured to pay the $15 a person, or risk detriment to their candidacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about my DD's positive experience as a new girl at NCS middle school this year because she and I were both very pleasantly surprised to find the rumors untrue, at least in her grade, about the numbers of mean girls at NCS. Yes, there are mean girls, as everywhere, but no more than at my DD's last school, which was public. I'm not a member of a damage-control squad (NCS has no need of damage-control) but a mother who hopes that others considering NCS for their daughters will not base their decisions just on myth or rumors. Being at the top, as NCS is, makes one a lightning rod for gossip and innuendo.

You really should reserve your judgement until your DD has been at NCS at least a full year. And how do you know NCS has no need for damage control? You're child has been there what, 4 months. Please.

I am the PP whom you address. Four months is ample time to see that, at least in DD's grade, the mean girls do not exist in the numbers or extent that is rumored. In addition, our experience with NCS predates DD's matriculation, for DD had taken musical instruction from an NCS instructor for several years prior and had come to know several NCS students well.

As for why NCS has no need of damage-control: the school's reputation is stellar, so any insinuations of need for damage-control are at best amusing.

+1. Our daughter is new to the middle school and loves it. It is just insane to suggest that parents of a new and happy happy girl "reserve judgment." Reserve judgment on what? That our daughters are happy?

Some girls and parents are apparently unhappy and think there are mean girls at the school. I would never dream of calling them liars. I'm sure these girls are truly unhappy. I believe them. So, why do others seem to deny the possibility that there are girls, new and old, that are genuinely delighted at the school and have not experienced the mean girl phenomenon?

If negative experiences with the school are ok to post, I should think that positive experiences are ok to post as well.

+1 15:15, I think your posts have been quite measured and polite. I honestly don't know why people can't stand to hear divrgent viewpoints. You have been more than forthcoming that your daughter just started this year. First impressions do count for something (particularly as middle school seems like the toughest time for girls). Sorry you've been getting flamed so much, hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it would be helpful to describe the type of girl and family that the culture at NCS best suits.

PP here - late 90's grad... In my class, the girls I felt were happiest / got the most support from the administration:

Extremely brilliant and academically focused girls (there were 5 in my class that got perfect SAT scores) - although not the most popular, they were always able to get the classes they wanted (tracking) and so were encouraged to follow their interests.

OR

Very socially adept, perhaps having gone through puberty earlier (more boyfriends - or boy interest,) well dressed, often not repeating an outfit ever over the school year.

Summary, in a school when everyone is smart - it takes either SUPER smarts or outstanding social skills to stand apart, dominate, and get recognized (by peers or Admins.)

My children attend NCS middle school and STA upper school, and they say that PP's characterization of the two types of girls who dominate at NCS is absolutely spot-on. They say that anyone else at NCS may be happy there but will not stand out, as academic brilliance and social preeminence are what get you recognition at NCS. However, having been to a similar girls' school myself and having the perspective of nearly 50 years of living, I believe that these are the two types of girl students that dominate at *most* schools. Is NCS really so different in this respect from other girls' schools and even from coed schools, including public schools? I do not think so. Upper school is just a microcosm of adult society, and children are modeling what they learn from adults, so just look at the women who dominate in adult society, and one will see what girls are valued in upper school.

At my public school in an affluent East Coast, it was the pretty/socially adept girls who dominated, end of story. It's actually nice to hear that brilliant girls "dominate" at a school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it would be helpful to describe the type of girl and family that the culture at NCS best suits.

PP here - late 90's grad... In my class, the girls I felt were happiest / got the most support from the administration:

Extremely brilliant and academically focused girls (there were 5 in my class that got perfect SAT scores) - although not the most popular, they were always able to get the classes they wanted (tracking) and so were encouraged to follow their interests.

OR

Very socially adept, perhaps having gone through puberty earlier (more boyfriends - or boy interest,) well dressed, often not repeating an outfit ever over the school year.

Summary, in a school when everyone is smart - it takes either SUPER smarts or outstanding social skills to stand apart, dominate, and get recognized (by peers or Admins.)

My children attend NCS middle school and STA upper school, and they say that PP's characterization of the two types of girls who dominate at NCS is absolutely spot-on. They say that anyone else at NCS may be happy there but will not stand out, as academic brilliance and social preeminence are what get you recognition at NCS. However, having been to a similar girls' school myself and having the perspective of nearly 50 years of living, I believe that these are the two types of girl students that dominate at *most* schools. Is NCS really so different in this respect from other girls' schools and even from coed schools, including public schools? I do not think so. Upper school is just a microcosm of adult society, and children are modeling what they learn from adults, so just look at the women who dominate in adult society, and one will see what girls are valued in upper school.

At my public school in an affluent East Coast suburb, it was the pretty/socially adept girls who dominated, end of story. It's actually nice to hear that brilliant girls "dominate" at a school!

[Edited to include word "suburb."]