Woman here earning seven figures for the first time -- plan to date only men who earn more

[Anonymous]

Congrats OP. That's a really good salary. I'm sure you can find men who make the same or more than you.

They will judge what you have to offer before your professional success. Most of us men don't make the money you make. In fact I was just looking at BLS it's shocking that most men and women make less than $100k/year.

Best of luck. Come back and let us know the lucky guy who was worth of your pristine selection process.

[Anonymous]

Hi five to OP. I love that you know what you want able to announce it and look for it. Why not right?

My neighbor who is a millionaire widow, her ex dh passed away in her 60s. She married a billionaire who s in his 60s as well. I don’t see why OP wouldn’t be able to find what she wants. Of course , the pick is slim, but what s wrong with being picky of one of your most important life changing choices, a life partner?

On that note,OP, make sure you consider other qualities that are non monetary such as being faithful, generous etc as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who is earning over a million is not going to want you. He is going to want someone 10-15 years younger. I suggest you look for qualities other than money if you want companionship.

OP here. I'm fine with a man who is 10 years older.

So many bitter people on this board.

NP. What people are telling you is that men who are that wealthy are going to see you as being too old for him to find desirable, no matter how old he is. A mid 40s woman is too old, and men who are earning millions of dollars every year think they can do better. They don’t need to date someone older than 30, no matter how old they are themselves. Just as your primary or only concern is that the man is super wealthy, the men you seek have the primary or only concern that the woman have youth and beauty. You don’t.

Unfortunately, this is the case. Most of the men she is targeting don't really see women her age as desirable in the same way. "Beautiful" to them means beauty+youth, not a well-preserved middle-aged woman. Youth is powerfully attractive in general, and if a man can "afford" to attract a younger, beautiful mate, he will choose to do this. They might think the high salary is a nice perk, but they'd rather have a young beauty with a lower salary than a middle-aged woman (even if she has a "beautiful face") with a high salary.

OP here. As another PP said, 50+ year-old men who seek out 30 year-olds are not the type of men I would want to date anyway. There are plenty of men who are looking for an age-appropriate partner.

Really? Then why are you here looking for how to find a man? And why would you need to look on apps?

Because she is delusional inspite of her intelligence. She imagines things and thinks that’s reality. Not that different from other single women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol what do you look like and can you cook?

OP here. I look great (size 6, beautiful face, dress well), and can cook but I don't cook often.

At your income level, you should strive to be size 2. Size 6 is big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol what do you look like and can you cook?

Would you ask a man who makes that much money if he can cook?

Notwithstanding the fact that my DH does all of the cooking. But No I would not because such a man would be looking for a 20 year old to do all the cooking for him

20 year olds don’t cook. Older men date them for other qualities. Also, at OP’s income level cooking can be outsourced.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m early 50s F, also a high earning professional, thin, attractive etc. Been dating a few years. IME there’s a lot of truth in what PPs are saying - wealthy men do not prioritize earnings in women, and in fact I think many dislike it because it takes away their power. They can draw beautiful younger women by paying for everything, and they don’t even have to be good boyfriends.

I understand your desire for an intellectual/intensity/successful equal. What has worked for me is looking for different kinds of excellence. For example I dated a diplomat for a while- spoke 4 languages, had lived all over the world, and a guy who had been in the special forces before becoming an executive.… I have plenty of admiration and respect for these guys and they aren’t threatened by my success either. I don’t mind picking up the more expensive tabs and letting them get the cheaper ones, and they pull their weight and don’t expect me to do everything because they are paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m early 50s F, also a high earning professional, thin, attractive etc. Been dating a few years. IME there’s a lot of truth in what PPs are saying - wealthy men do not prioritize earnings in women, and in fact I think many dislike it because it takes away their power. They can draw beautiful younger women by paying for everything, and they don’t even have to be good boyfriends.

I understand your desire for an intellectual/intensity/successful equal. What has worked for me is looking for different kinds of excellence. For example I dated a diplomat for a while- spoke 4 languages, had lived all over the world, and a guy who had been in the special forces before becoming an executive.… I have plenty of admiration and respect for these guys and they aren’t threatened by my success either. I don’t mind picking up the more expensive tabs and letting them get the cheaper ones, and they pull their weight and don’t expect me to do everything because they are paying.

Add to this they often want women they can control. A beautiful but financially struggling young woman will be happy to rearrange her life to travel first class with him on his schedule, for example. But OP can buy her own first-class trip, so she wants someone who respects her and compromises. Older men don't like to compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m early 50s F, also a high earning professional, thin, attractive etc. Been dating a few years. IME there’s a lot of truth in what PPs are saying - wealthy men do not prioritize earnings in women, and in fact I think many dislike it because it takes away their power. They can draw beautiful younger women by paying for everything, and they don’t even have to be good boyfriends.

I understand your desire for an intellectual/intensity/successful equal. What has worked for me is looking for different kinds of excellence. For example I dated a diplomat for a while- spoke 4 languages, had lived all over the world, and a guy who had been in the special forces before becoming an executive.… I have plenty of admiration and respect for these guys and they aren’t threatened by my success either. I don’t mind picking up the more expensive tabs and letting them get the cheaper ones, and they pull their weight and don’t expect me to do everything because they are paying.

OP here. Thank you, PP, this is great advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m early 50s F, also a high earning professional, thin, attractive etc. Been dating a few years. IME there’s a lot of truth in what PPs are saying - wealthy men do not prioritize earnings in women, and in fact I think many dislike it because it takes away their power. They can draw beautiful younger women by paying for everything, and they don’t even have to be good boyfriends.

I understand your desire for an intellectual/intensity/successful equal. What has worked for me is looking for different kinds of excellence. For example I dated a diplomat for a while- spoke 4 languages, had lived all over the world, and a guy who had been in the special forces before becoming an executive.… I have plenty of admiration and respect for these guys and they aren’t threatened by my success either. I don’t mind picking up the more expensive tabs and letting them get the cheaper ones, and they pull their weight and don’t expect me to do everything because they are paying.

Add to this they often want women they can control. A beautiful but financially struggling young woman will be happy to rearrange her life to travel first class with him on his schedule, for example. But OP can buy her own first-class trip, so she wants someone who respects her and compromises. Older men don't like to compromise.

OP here. This is really sad, but true most of the time, I guess. Such a relationship between a dominant older male and a subservient young lightweight must be not very intellectually satisfying, I imagine. Twenty-plus years ago when I was last dating, young men were looking to partner with intellectual equals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m early 50s F, also a high earning professional, thin, attractive etc. Been dating a few years. IME there’s a lot of truth in what PPs are saying - wealthy men do not prioritize earnings in women, and in fact I think many dislike it because it takes away their power. They can draw beautiful younger women by paying for everything, and they don’t even have to be good boyfriends.

I understand your desire for an intellectual/intensity/successful equal. What has worked for me is looking for different kinds of excellence. For example I dated a diplomat for a while- spoke 4 languages, had lived all over the world, and a guy who had been in the special forces before becoming an executive.… I have plenty of admiration and respect for these guys and they aren’t threatened by my success either. I don’t mind picking up the more expensive tabs and letting them get the cheaper ones, and they pull their weight and don’t expect me to do everything because they are paying.

Add to this they often want women they can control. A beautiful but financially struggling young woman will be happy to rearrange her life to travel first class with him on his schedule, for example. But OP can buy her own first-class trip, so she wants someone who respects her and compromises. Older men don't like to compromise.

OP here. This is really sad, but true most of the time, I guess. Such a relationship between a dominant older male and a subservient young lightweight must be not very intellectually satisfying, I imagine. Twenty-plus years ago when I was last dating, young men were looking to partner with intellectual equals.

Young men might still be trying to do so. You are talking about older men, who twenty-plus years ago, were likely the same as now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m early 50s F, also a high earning professional, thin, attractive etc. Been dating a few years. IME there’s a lot of truth in what PPs are saying - wealthy men do not prioritize earnings in women, and in fact I think many dislike it because it takes away their power. They can draw beautiful younger women by paying for everything, and they don’t even have to be good boyfriends.

I understand your desire for an intellectual/intensity/successful equal. What has worked for me is looking for different kinds of excellence. For example I dated a diplomat for a while- spoke 4 languages, had lived all over the world, and a guy who had been in the special forces before becoming an executive.… I have plenty of admiration and respect for these guys and they aren’t threatened by my success either. I don’t mind picking up the more expensive tabs and letting them get the cheaper ones, and they pull their weight and don’t expect me to do everything because they are paying.

Add to this they often want women they can control. A beautiful but financially struggling young woman will be happy to rearrange her life to travel first class with him on his schedule, for example. But OP can buy her own first-class trip, so she wants someone who respects her and compromises. Older men don't like to compromise.

OP here. This is really sad, but true most of the time, I guess. Such a relationship between a dominant older male and a subservient young lightweight must be not very intellectually satisfying, I imagine. Twenty-plus years ago when I was last dating, young men were looking to partner with intellectual equals.

OP,

Is “intellectual equal” perhaps more important than somebody equally as wealthy as you?

What if you put aside your earnings requirement and just searched for someone intellectually stimulating? You’ll find them in many professions. These men are likely ambitious, but driven by something more meaningful to them than money. There’s a good chance your money isn’t as intimidating as you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m early 50s F, also a high earning professional, thin, attractive etc. Been dating a few years. IME there’s a lot of truth in what PPs are saying - wealthy men do not prioritize earnings in women, and in fact I think many dislike it because it takes away their power. They can draw beautiful younger women by paying for everything, and they don’t even have to be good boyfriends.

I understand your desire for an intellectual/intensity/successful equal. What has worked for me is looking for different kinds of excellence. For example I dated a diplomat for a while- spoke 4 languages, had lived all over the world, and a guy who had been in the special forces before becoming an executive.… I have plenty of admiration and respect for these guys and they aren’t threatened by my success either. I don’t mind picking up the more expensive tabs and letting them get the cheaper ones, and they pull their weight and don’t expect me to do everything because they are paying.

Add to this they often want women they can control. A beautiful but financially struggling young woman will be happy to rearrange her life to travel first class with him on his schedule, for example. But OP can buy her own first-class trip, so she wants someone who respects her and compromises. Older men don't like to compromise.

OP here. This is really sad, but true most of the time, I guess. Such a relationship between a dominant older male and a subservient young lightweight must be not very intellectually satisfying, I imagine. Twenty-plus years ago when I was last dating, young men were looking to partner with intellectual equals.

Why would you assume the young woman wouldn’t be intellectually satisfying? You said yourself that you wanted to be the #2 person in the relationship. If you want to be subservient are you saying you’re not smart?

[Anonymous]

I understand this logic but it’s not the way to find love. You can tie up your wealth in trusts and create a prenup where your new husband won’t take your money but you don’t need a guy with money.

There are amazing human souls that could make $5M a year and have chosen to devote their lives to service through DOJ, foreign service, military, firefighters, etc. There are incredible inventors, musicians, chefs. Please find love. You found money and success.

I’m also a 40s lawyer with good earning in private practice and don’t want a man who is just going to live off me but you can get billionaire leeches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Congrats OP. That's a really good salary. I'm sure you can find men who make the same or more than you.

They will judge what you have to offer before your professional success. Most of us men don't make the money you make. In fact I was just looking at BLS it's shocking that most men and women make less than $100k/year.

Best of luck. Come back and let us know the lucky guy who was worth of your pristine selection process.

+1
I think what OP doesn’t realize is that when searching for a mate, men do not place high value on what sort of income or professional accomplishments a woman has. It’s a non-factor. This is why a millionaire dude will marry a waitress he met at Hooters, but it rarely works the other way around.
There’s always the exception, but career ambition and ability to earn money is not an attractive trait to successful, ambitious men, even if you wish it were. It does t necessarily repel men of you have those things and are also beautiful, nurturing, and agreeable. But it’s also difficult to find the latter three traits in a woman who has already shown that she has the competitive drive and edge to be corporately successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats OP. That's a really good salary. I'm sure you can find men who make the same or more than you.

They will judge what you have to offer before your professional success. Most of us men don't make the money you make. In fact I was just looking at BLS it's shocking that most men and women make less than $100k/year.

Best of luck. Come back and let us know the lucky guy who was worth of your pristine selection process.

+1
I think what OP doesn’t realize is that when searching for a mate, men do not place high value on what sort of income or professional accomplishments a woman has. It’s a non-factor. This is why a millionaire dude will marry a waitress he met at Hooters, but it rarely works the other way around.
There’s always the exception, but career ambition and ability to earn money is not an attractive trait to successful, ambitious men, even if you wish it were. It does t necessarily repel men of you have those things and are also beautiful, nurturing, and agreeable. But it’s also difficult to find the latter three traits in a woman who has already shown that she has the competitive drive and edge to be corporately successful.

actually it often works the other way also. look at all female celebs dating very young men. it's a thing. honestly i don't think there is any fewer such pairs.

it is also not true that men don't care about women's accomplishments. many accomplished men want smart, interesting women and don't care about dumb, vacuous women no matter how beautiful. there is quite a bit of research on this - look up assortative mating.

my experience is that men want attractive women but they don't need the most attractive or insanely hot women or anything. once you pass the looks threshold, they actually do care about your intelligence, personality, accomplishments etc.