Why do grown women post photos of social events?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

The reality of that moment exists only for the people who were there. When you share a pic publicly, the moment doesn’t belong to you anymore—it’s open to interpretation by anyone who can see it. Some might feel happy, some might feel jealous, some might mock it. Some might act like they’re happy about it, but silently mock it. You can’t feel bad about that though, because you put it out there.

And yes, you are deliberately participating in a platform whose addictive properties have been documented repeatedly. So even if you’re not addicted, you’re still part of a societal problem.

Cool. Now do alcohol. Let me guess, ThAt's DiFfeReNT!

Would you stand outside an AA meeting handing out cocktails?

Analogy fail. Your claim is that my drinking cocktails at home is harming alcoholics. Don't want to see my FB posts? Don't visit my FB page.

Again, if you’re participating in the platform, you’re part of the societal problem. No one cares if you drink cocktails at home or take pictures of your girls night out and just keep them for your own enjoyment.

Can I have a beer in a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Here’s my take. If you really have a problem with this you’re just a small and jealous person with no friends who needs to get off of social media. I don’t buy the posters who will insist otherwise and say their concern is either with the overly exuberant social media posters or other people they might unknowingly be hurting because y’all are too nasty to really care about other people and it’s really all about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

The reality of that moment exists only for the people who were there. When you share a pic publicly, the moment doesn’t belong to you anymore—it’s open to interpretation by anyone who can see it. Some might feel happy, some might feel jealous, some might mock it. Some might act like they’re happy about it, but silently mock it. You can’t feel bad about that though, because you put it out there.

And yes, you are deliberately participating in a platform whose addictive properties have been documented repeatedly. So even if you’re not addicted, you’re still part of a societal problem.

Cool. Now do alcohol. Let me guess, ThAt's DiFfeReNT!

Would you stand outside an AA meeting handing out cocktails?

Analogy fail. Your claim is that my drinking cocktails at home is harming alcoholics. Don't want to see my FB posts? Don't visit my FB page.

Again, if you’re participating in the platform, you’re part of the societal problem. No one cares if you drink cocktails at home or take pictures of your girls night out and just keep them for your own enjoyment.

Can I have a beer in a restaurant?

Yes. Order your beer and enjoy it. But if you keep ordering beers repeatedly—that buzz does feel pretty good after all—the fun will wear off and you’re going to start to act like an idiot. You’ll probably feel like you’re the life of the party, but everyone around you will be giving you the side eye and want to get away from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

The reality of that moment exists only for the people who were there. When you share a pic publicly, the moment doesn’t belong to you anymore—it’s open to interpretation by anyone who can see it. Some might feel happy, some might feel jealous, some might mock it. Some might act like they’re happy about it, but silently mock it. You can’t feel bad about that though, because you put it out there.

And yes, you are deliberately participating in a platform whose addictive properties have been documented repeatedly. So even if you’re not addicted, you’re still part of a societal problem.

Cool. Now do alcohol. Let me guess, ThAt's DiFfeReNT!

Would you stand outside an AA meeting handing out cocktails?

Analogy fail. Your claim is that my drinking cocktails at home is harming alcoholics. Don't want to see my FB posts? Don't visit my FB page.

Again, if you’re participating in the platform, you’re part of the societal problem. No one cares if you drink cocktails at home or take pictures of your girls night out and just keep them for your own enjoyment.

Can I have a beer in a restaurant?

Yes. Order your beer and enjoy it. But if you keep ordering beers repeatedly—that buzz does feel pretty good after all—the fun will wear off and you’re going to start to act like an idiot. You’ll probably feel like you’re the life of the party, but everyone around you will be giving you the side eye and want to get away from you.

So, I can post one picture on social media per night. That's OK?

[Anonymous]

Facebook, for all its flaws, it wonderful when it brings up memories from the past. I adore that feature.

A few Thanksgivings ago, I put a call out to old high school/childhood friends that I happened to be in our hometown, anyone else? And a small group was able to get together, at Applebee’s of all places, which was entirely fitting as that’s where we used to “go out” when we were driving and had a little money from babysitting and our first jobs.

We posted photos from that night, not to brag, but to celebrate. Not everyone was around or could make it, but even those who weren’t there commented how great it was, they were so happy for us, you guys look great, “blast from the past,” that sort of thing. And we said, truthfully, we had toasted to the whole high school crew.

People post for all sorts of reasons, OP. People who aren’t insecure know that most of those reasons are simply to celebrate life and generate memories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

The reality of that moment exists only for the people who were there. When you share a pic publicly, the moment doesn’t belong to you anymore—it’s open to interpretation by anyone who can see it. Some might feel happy, some might feel jealous, some might mock it. Some might act like they’re happy about it, but silently mock it. You can’t feel bad about that though, because you put it out there.

And yes, you are deliberately participating in a platform whose addictive properties have been documented repeatedly. So even if you’re not addicted, you’re still part of a societal problem.

Cool. Now do alcohol. Let me guess, ThAt's DiFfeReNT!

Would you stand outside an AA meeting handing out cocktails?

Analogy fail. Your claim is that my drinking cocktails at home is harming alcoholics. Don't want to see my FB posts? Don't visit my FB page.

Again, if you’re participating in the platform, you’re part of the societal problem. No one cares if you drink cocktails at home or take pictures of your girls night out and just keep them for your own enjoyment.

Can I have a beer in a restaurant?

Yes. Order your beer and enjoy it. But if you keep ordering beers repeatedly—that buzz does feel pretty good after all—the fun will wear off and you’re going to start to act like an idiot. You’ll probably feel like you’re the life of the party, but everyone around you will be giving you the side eye and want to get away from you.

So, I can post one picture on social media per night. That's OK?

Do you drink a beer in a restaurant every single night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested. That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

[Anonymous]

What it boils down to for me: if I like you in real life, your moderate posting behavior—while not my own cup of tea—doesn’t bother me. If you’re annoying in real life, your social media posts are annoying, too. Probably more so.

But to be honest, I don’t know anyone who still posts pics of friend groups like it’s 2010. My FB feed is mostly pets for adoption and car crashes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested. That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

DP. One of the reasons I stopped posting many years ago, in addition to asking myself who was it for, was imagining so many people just scrolling by carelessly something that felt so meaningful to me. (As they should feel free to do, obviously.) Why would I put my own precious memories and experiences out there for people to judge or ignore or mock? It cheapens the human experience for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What it boils down to for me: if I like you in real life, your moderate posting behavior—while not my own cup of tea—doesn’t bother me. If you’re annoying in real life, your social media posts are annoying, too. Probably more so.

But to be honest, I don’t know anyone who still posts pics of friend groups like it’s 2010. My FB feed is mostly pets for adoption and car crashes.

Why are you following the social media of people you find annoying in real life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the only time I'm dressed up and it's nice to have pictures with my friends?

you still have the pictures if you don't insecurely broadcast them lol.

NP. I love seeing photos of my family and friends out and about and having fun, whether or not I was invited. I like to see the people I love or am connected to happy and enjoying life.

Tell me: if not to share your life or celebrate life, what do you think FB is “for”; to rant about politics and share stupid memes or personality quizzes? To post your Wordle or Duolingo stats or whatever? To yap about community issues like school board elections or something?

If not posting friends and family and life happening, what do you post? And why do you think what you choose to post is somehow “better”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What it boils down to for me: if I like you in real life, your moderate posting behavior—while not my own cup of tea—doesn’t bother me. If you’re annoying in real life, your social media posts are annoying, too. Probably more so.

But to be honest, I don’t know anyone who still posts pics of friend groups like it’s 2010. My FB feed is mostly pets for adoption and car crashes.

Why are you following the social media of people you find annoying in real life?

Not gonna lie, there’s an entertainment factor there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. And I participated in this activity 10+ years ago when I was in my late 20s/early 30s. It was absolutely an effort to show people that I was popular and had friends, that I was busy and interesting. It was for exes, coworkers, old classmates, etc., to show them "look at me, my life is very lively and socially successful."

Once I realized that was what I was doing, I stopped. I also discovered that when I stopped posting like this to social media, some of these activities became less appealing to me and I stopped attending some of them. The biggest thing to fall by the wayside was the kind of big group "girls night" dinner where like 10 women of varying levels of friendship get dressed up and dine at a trendy restaurant and take photos and post them. It turns out I never enjoyed them! They were often unnecessarily expensive, it was common for various people to under-contribute to the bill, and often there would be several people at the dinner who were unpleasant to me or engaged in weird behaviors like competing with me to prove how was better friends with another woman or something stupid. I am so glad I don't participate in this stuff anymore!

I'm glad I stopped participating in this before I had kids, because I now never feel the compulsion to post photos of my kids or family events in order to, again, show how interesting and active we are. When I have the urge to share photos of my kids, I text them to friends and family who I think might actually be interested in, for instance, a pic of them in Halloween costumes or my DD at her ballet recital. I don't try to use my kids to project a personal brand of some kind, and I'm grateful for that.

And then every single person tagged in the photo comments “such a fun night!!” one after another. Ugh, the worst.

This was circa 2012 and I'm so glad people don't do this now and are probably mortified that they did in the past.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested. That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

DP. One of the reasons I stopped posting many years ago, in addition to asking myself who was it for, was imagining so many people just scrolling by carelessly something that felt so meaningful to me. (As they should feel free to do, obviously.) Why would I put my own precious memories and experiences out there for people to judge or ignore or mock? It cheapens the human experience for me.

You’ve totally missed my point. I’m confident that my “followers” and the people I follow aren’t judging or mocking or affirmatively ignoring. The people I know simply aren’t wired that way. If they were I wouldn’t follow them in the first place.

[Anonymous]

The only time this is appropriate is on an Instagram story.