Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

I had a coworker who did this from 2009 to 2014 - she actually left work for pickup and was back online for a few more hours afterward. If the company approves, who are you to criticize?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.

Because as a taxpayer, I (NP) shouldn’t pay for her individual luxury of “balance.” I and apparently millions of others would prefer to pay her a part-time salary and no federal benefits — because she is in fact working part time.

Whether she wants to be all-in and miss games or lean out and watch basketball doesn’t matter to me. Her fraudulence is the problem.

Are you just as aggravated that this very much occurs in the private sector and this hypothetical woman’s salary cost is passed to consumers via product/service pricing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a fed and have been in the office the whole time. My spouse doesn't work because it isn't possible to do drop off/pick up and get the kids where they needed to be with her being in an Office.

I despised telework feds who would always tell me their "teleworking" at school pick up or when they're at my son's baseball practice at 4 pm when I just took an hour of leave so I could be there on time.

We all know people were watching their kids on telework and doing things other than working. So glad it is over and people are being held accountable.

I remember having a rough commute and day in the office and my friend made a comment like "you choose an in person job". I get a kick out of telling these people who now have an 1.5 hour commute "you choose this job, enjoy it".

Where do you work that was in person the entire time? And why don’t you know the past tense of the verb “choose”?

Not the PP, but I'm a nurse manager and that's technically an "office" job but it's not a job that you can do remote. My hours are Mon-Fri 8 - 4:30 or 5. I split the evening, night, and weekend on-call time with the other nurse managers in my service line. There's a lot of things that touch people that require one to show up.

PP said they were a fed, which is why I asked.

Yes, there are fed jobs that are nurse managers.
VA, NIH, DoD, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.

Because as a taxpayer, I (NP) shouldn’t pay for her individual luxury of “balance.” I and apparently millions of others would prefer to pay her a part-time salary and no federal benefits — because she is in fact working part time.

Whether she wants to be all-in and miss games or lean out and watch basketball doesn’t matter to me. Her fraudulence is the problem.

How about showing some evidence that this is a widespread problem. Anecdotes do not count.

Shockingly, the timecard fraud federal workers didn’t raise their hands to identify themselves as they were stealing from the government. Wonder why? As a result, there isn’t the robust data collection you insist on to believe timecard fraud actually occurred.

For me, it’s enough anecdotal evidence that every. single. remote/telework. fed I know has been working part time and pulling a full time salary+benefits. For years. I feel super comfortable extrapolating from every federal tele/remote worker I know to the general population.

their employers are: FDA, NIH, DOT, EPA and Labor.

I respect their scope of work and the mission. I do not hate feds, at all (i am one). The fraud needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.

Because as a taxpayer, I (NP) shouldn’t pay for her individual luxury of “balance.” I and apparently millions of others would prefer to pay her a part-time salary and no federal benefits — because she is in fact working part time.

Whether she wants to be all-in and miss games or lean out and watch basketball doesn’t matter to me. Her fraudulence is the problem.

Are you just as aggravated that this very much occurs in the private sector and this hypothetical woman’s salary cost is passed to consumers via product/service pricing?

No because paying taxes is mandatory and buying widgets from Private Patty’s employer is not. I can opt out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you pay for childcare like everyone else before covid

There are so many bitter people here. Before Covid I was able to telework two days a week. So could my husband. Now he has to return to the office full time and I probably will too (haven’t heard from my agency yet). So no it’s not like before covid. My commute is an hour long and his is an hour and 20 minutes long one way. We live right next to the metro but they moved my husband’s office so now it’s just much further. That’s two hours a day commuting for me and almost 3 hrs for him. In that time we can make dinner, do the laundry etc. We are both in litigation so our jobs are actually stressful and don’t have much time during the day. But those two hours that I save mean everything. Also my eldest two are in elementary school and extended day is completely full. There is a waitlist to get in. I pick them up from the bus stop at 3 pm and bring them home. Since they are in 3rd and 4th grade they are self sufficient and even set the table for dinner and make the salad. Since we are a bilingual family, a tutor comes at 3:30 three days a week to tutor them in my native language. My youngest who is three is at daycare and my husband picks her up at 5:30 while I prep dinner. It’s tough having three kids but telework makes it much it much easier. Sure I can find childcare but it’s not easy. Who would want to work for two hours only? And it’s not cheap. And when would I find the time to cook? Republicans pretend to care about families but people don’t have kids or as many kids as they want because it’s so hard to balance working with having a family. Our school calls us and tells us to pick the kids up for every sniffle. What happens now? I would have to leave work (takes an hour) pick them up and drive them home. All that time wasted when I could have just driven 5 minutes and gone right back to work. Since my work has so many deadlines I will have to make up for the lost time in the evening. How do I balance that with spending time with my kids, making dinner, giving my 3 year old a bath? Cleaning up…. The entire thing is insane and people like PP who want us all to suffer are just disgusting. Society is going to have to resolve this issue. How do people have kids while two spouses are working full time? Republicans have the answer to that. They want women to stay at home. That’s what may end up happening because many of us may just have no choice. I’m sure PP will be celebrating

OK, deep breath.
I was very much in your shoes. What worked for me was to pay the tutor to pick my daughter up from car line (or in your case perhaps the bus stop), bring her home, get her a small snack and start the tutoring lesson at 3:30 as planned then help her with homework till I got home at 5:30. Yes, I had to pay her for 2.5 hours 5 days a week instead of paying her for 1 hour 3 days a week but to know she was being reliably picked up and when I got home all the homework was done and tutoring was done was really helpful.
For years I have meal prepped on weekends and planned lunches and meals around leftovers.
It felt weird to ask the tutor to do this, I was really hesitant to do it. I led in by acknowledging it was an odd request and I would pay her hourly rate. We had that arrangement for 2 years.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

How were they cheating the system?

its illegal (in the case of govt related jobs or contracting) to perform childcare duties and bill hours. It's against most company policies to do the same.

+1 Even if your employer doesn't have a policy against this, I really don't have sympathy for people who are getting paid for a full time job but don't have full time child care for their young children
- working parent of a young child

Misery loves company is not a valid argument. It's just not. You want everyone to suffer like you instead of everyone to have a better work/life balance. I feel sorry for you that you're such a miserable person.

Sorry, I want to work with people who are available to work. If you are caring for a young child during the same hours you are working you are doing your child, your employer and your coworkers a disservice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.

Because as a taxpayer, I (NP) shouldn’t pay for her individual luxury of “balance.” I and apparently millions of others would prefer to pay her a part-time salary and no federal benefits — because she is in fact working part time.

Whether she wants to be all-in and miss games or lean out and watch basketball doesn’t matter to me. Her fraudulence is the problem.

How about showing some evidence that this is a widespread problem. Anecdotes do not count.

Shockingly, the timecard fraud federal workers didn’t raise their hands to identify themselves as they were stealing from the government. Wonder why? As a result, there isn’t the robust data collection you insist on to believe timecard fraud actually occurred.

For me, it’s enough anecdotal evidence that every. single. remote/telework. fed I know has been working part time and pulling a full time salary+benefits. For years. I feel super comfortable extrapolating from every federal tele/remote worker I know to the general population.

their employers are: FDA, NIH, DOT, EPA and Labor.

I respect their scope of work and the mission. I do not hate feds, at all (i am one). The fraud needs to stop.

Somehow all these different people that you resent so deeply are close enough with you to just admit to timecard fraud?

How do you know they are working part time? Janet going to the soccer game can make up her hours in the morning or evening. How do you know she’s not? Are you in her house watching?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

How were they cheating the system?

its illegal (in the case of govt related jobs or contracting) to perform childcare duties and bill hours. It's against most company policies to do the same.

+1 Even if your employer doesn't have a policy against this, I really don't have sympathy for people who are getting paid for a full time job but don't have full time child care for their young children
- working parent of a young child

Misery loves company is not a valid argument. It's just not. You want everyone to suffer like you instead of everyone to have a better work/life balance. I feel sorry for you that you're such a miserable person.

Sorry, I want to work with people who are available to work. If you are caring for a young child during the same hours you are working you are doing your child, your employer and your coworkers a disservice.

No one is advocating for this. People are advocating for not having to add hours of unnecessary commuting to their day, which makes coordinating childcare more difficult because parents are unavailable longer each day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

We always did this too. We did the drive at rush hour and same with picking the kid's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a fed and have been in the office the whole time. My spouse doesn't work because it isn't possible to do drop off/pick up and get the kids where they needed to be with her being in an Office.

I despised telework feds who would always tell me their "teleworking" at school pick up or when they're at my son's baseball practice at 4 pm when I just took an hour of leave so I could be there on time.

We all know people were watching their kids on telework and doing things other than working. So glad it is over and people are being held accountable.

I remember having a rough commute and day in the office and my friend made a comment like "you choose an in person job". I get a kick out of telling these people who now have an 1.5 hour commute "you choose this job, enjoy it".

Where do you work that was in person the entire time? And why don’t you know the past tense of the verb “choose”?

Not the PP, but I'm a nurse manager and that's technically an "office" job but it's not a job that you can do remote. My hours are Mon-Fri 8 - 4:30 or 5. I split the evening, night, and weekend on-call time with the other nurse managers in my service line. There's a lot of things that touch people that require one to show up.

PP said they were a fed, which is why I asked.

Do you not understand that lots of feds work on things that can't be done on a home computer? There's a lot of classified systems and in person jobs. Not everyone sits at home all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

How were they cheating the system?

its illegal (in the case of govt related jobs or contracting) to perform childcare duties and bill hours. It's against most company policies to do the same.

+1 Even if your employer doesn't have a policy against this, I really don't have sympathy for people who are getting paid for a full time job but don't have full time child care for their young children
- working parent of a young child

Misery loves company is not a valid argument. It's just not. You want everyone to suffer like you instead of everyone to have a better work/life balance. I feel sorry for you that you're such a miserable person.

Sorry, I want to work with people who are available to work. If you are caring for a young child during the same hours you are working you are doing your child, your employer and your coworkers a disservice.

No one is advocating for this. People are advocating for not having to add hours of unnecessary commuting to their day, which makes coordinating childcare more difficult because parents are unavailable longer each day.

You should buy a house close to work not my problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

Have you been living under a rock? This is why other working parents are so ‘bitter’ against remote employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I respect their scope of work and the mission. I do not hate feds, at all (i am one). The fraud needs to stop.

Also a Fed and agree 100%.

So much fraud and people going and playing pickleball or running errands during their WFH "work" day.