massive disagreement with husband about handling kids who won't deal with college

[Anonymous]

you need a by-the-hour college comsultant to work with your child. You and DH need to extract yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Community college if they don’t care

This. Let them do factory work for a year. They will then gladly submit their completed college applications.

A year in the workforce can help kids focus on their future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ma’am. It is September. Why are you going nuclear in September?

DP. You are clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Community college if they don’t care

This. Let them do factory work for a year. They will then gladly submit their completed college applications.

A year in the workforce can help kids focus on their future.

Necessity is a great thing. My abusive father abandoned us and my mother was an addict. I chose the schools and did the applications. My parents were not involved and couldn't have cared less about my future. They had no idea what I was doing. I did rush job the applications, though. I did get fee waivers but not that difficult to do as my brother and me were highly recruited for athletics. Not that mature in some ways. Did get in a few Ivy League schools but ended up choosing Duke. I was a twin as well and we realized the only people we had to work for were the people we saw in the mirrors.

The athletic factory schools required little more than a post card. Since I was getting in their honors programs, I should have looked at them more carefully. It was silly to cross some good Big 10 schools off the list so soon. What did I know?

I would not write their applications. Let the schools see who they are. A good thing.

Years later my daughter got in and went to Princeton. It was my first choice but couldn't swing it financially. Rare moment of karma for me. I never did anything in the process but write application fee checks. It was her thing, and she was a better student than me. What value could I add that permitted herself to shine through? I did pay for it all though. It is what I promised. Breaking the cycle was important to me.

Remember the vast majority of people don't play the admissions game. They go to the local public college and the big issue is to pay for it and finish in four or five years. Puts the hovering parents here on DCUM in perspective.