How do deal with 17YO DD having sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

Exactly!

OP the fact that you are offended and disgusted speaks volumes. Why can’t the boy come over?

Sounds very mature. Most 17yr olds are having sex. I mean there are two middle school girls in my DC’s school.

Teens have sex and a lot of it. College they have even more

Not true. There are plenty who are not.

OP I agree with you. 17 is too young for this. No advice.

She is 6 months away from college where everyone is having sex. You can’t be serious

"Everyone" is not having sex in college, and certainly not the minute it starts.

DP here.
I don't get the posters who are bringing up the "6 months 'til college argument.
Six months at this age is huge. Kids are rapidly changing and maturing. And it's not like they have sex the minute they hit the campus.
It could be two years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP says they are being safe, so the only thing I would really worry about it whether they have agreed to talk about other partners. It will hurt so badly if your DD is only having sex with this one guy cause she’s kinda into him but he’s fully playing the field. The worst would be if he decides to actually date one of his other partners and your DD will have to work through the question “why not me?”

OMFG were all you mommies once these delicate crying whimpering girls who fawned over boys who all played you like fiddles?

OP said her daughter didn’t want to dive into a serious relationship so close to college. She is content. MANY girls are like this now and that is ok.

My DD15 and her friends do not want long relationships at all. They are into their sports and friendships and just don’t want the emotional attachment. I would be fine if she chose this option as a 17yr old. At least she is being honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

Exactly!

OP the fact that you are offended and disgusted speaks volumes. Why can’t the boy come over?

Sounds very mature. Most 17yr olds are having sex. I mean there are two middle school girls in my DC’s school.

Teens have sex and a lot of it. College they have even more

Not true. There are plenty who are not.

OP I agree with you. 17 is too young for this. No advice.

She is 6 months away from college where everyone is having sex. You can’t be serious

"Everyone" is not having sex in college, and certainly not the minute it starts.

DP here.
I don't get the posters who are bringing up the "6 months 'til college argument.
Six months at this age is huge. Kids are rapidly changing and maturing. And it's not like they have sex the minute they hit the campus.
It could be two years later.

You think there are a lot of 20-21yr old virgins on college campuses LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

Exactly!

OP the fact that you are offended and disgusted speaks volumes. Why can’t the boy come over?

Sounds very mature. Most 17yr olds are having sex. I mean there are two middle school girls in my DC’s school.

Teens have sex and a lot of it. College they have even more

Not true. There are plenty who are not.

OP I agree with you. 17 is too young for this. No advice.

She is 6 months away from college where everyone is having sex. You can’t be serious

"Everyone" is not having sex in college, and certainly not the minute it starts.

DP here.
I don't get the posters who are bringing up the "6 months 'til college argument.
Six months at this age is huge. Kids are rapidly changing and maturing. And it's not like they have sex the minute they hit the campus.
It could be two years later.

You think there are a lot of 20-21yr old virgins on college campuses LOL

There are, and I lost my virginity at 19 so I have no dog in this fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

Exactly!

OP the fact that you are offended and disgusted speaks volumes. Why can’t the boy come over?

Sounds very mature. Most 17yr olds are having sex. I mean there are two middle school girls in my DC’s school.

Teens have sex and a lot of it. College they have even more

Not true. There are plenty who are not.

OP I agree with you. 17 is too young for this. No advice.

She is 6 months away from college where everyone is having sex. You can’t be serious

"Everyone" is not having sex in college, and certainly not the minute it starts.

DP here.
I don't get the posters who are bringing up the "6 months 'til college argument.
Six months at this age is huge. Kids are rapidly changing and maturing. And it's not like they have sex the minute they hit the campus.
It could be two years later.

You think there are a lot of 20-21yr old virgins on college campuses LOL

Np. No, probably not a lot.

However, there also aren’t a lot of women having casual sex as a freshman in college either.

What will be common: girls getting drunk and becoming SA victims.

[Anonymous]

I was ready at 17 and it was fine. I was "in love" with my boyfriend, though we probably also knew that we wouldn't make it through college. I will say, it does concern me that kids have all this sex when they aren't in real relationships. Sex is so much better when you're in a trusting, loving relationship. Are they just role playing crap they see online, or are they able to really connect and have fun with another human being?

[Anonymous]

I get the impression there are more teens responding to this post advice than actual parents of teens …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

Exactly!

OP the fact that you are offended and disgusted speaks volumes. Why can’t the boy come over?

Sounds very mature. Most 17yr olds are having sex. I mean there are two middle school girls in my DC’s school.

Teens have sex and a lot of it. College they have even more

Not true. There are plenty who are not.

OP I agree with you. 17 is too young for this. No advice.

She is 6 months away from college where everyone is having sex. You can’t be serious

I am 100% serious. “Everyone” is not having sex in college, and besides, 7 months is 6 months. She’ll grow a lot in that time.

You need to ask yourself why you’re so permissive and such a proponent of kids having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

Exactly!

OP the fact that you are offended and disgusted speaks volumes. Why can’t the boy come over?

Sounds very mature. Most 17yr olds are having sex. I mean there are two middle school girls in my DC’s school.

Teens have sex and a lot of it. College they have even more

Not true. There are plenty who are not.

OP I agree with you. 17 is too young for this. No advice.

She is 6 months away from college where everyone is having sex. You can’t be serious

"Everyone" is not having sex in college, and certainly not the minute it starts.

DP here.
I don't get the posters who are bringing up the "6 months 'til college argument.
Six months at this age is huge. Kids are rapidly changing and maturing. And it's not like they have sex the minute they hit the campus.
It could be two years later.

You think there are a lot of 20-21yr old virgins on college campuses LOL

Yes.

[Anonymous]

I have a lot of friends in their late twenties and early thirties who did not lose their virginity that long ago and were stunned to learn that so many teenagers are sexually active. Mostly immigrants, but still.
"Everyone" is NOT banging the moment they start college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

Exactly!

OP the fact that you are offended and disgusted speaks volumes. Why can’t the boy come over?

Sounds very mature. Most 17yr olds are having sex. I mean there are two middle school girls in my DC’s school.

Teens have sex and a lot of it. College they have even more

Not true. There are plenty who are not.

OP I agree with you. 17 is too young for this. No advice.

She is 6 months away from college where everyone is having sex. You can’t be serious

"Everyone" is not having sex in college, and certainly not the minute it starts.

DP here.
I don't get the posters who are bringing up the "6 months 'til college argument.
Six months at this age is huge. Kids are rapidly changing and maturing. And it's not like they have sex the minute they hit the campus.
It could be two years later.

You think there are a lot of 20-21yr old virgins on college campuses LOL

Yes.

What? I would say some but def not a lot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of friends in their late twenties and early thirties who did not lose their virginity that long ago and were stunned to learn that so many teenagers are sexually active. Mostly immigrants, but still.
"Everyone" is NOT banging the moment they start college.

Are the nuns in the group chat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of friends in their late twenties and early thirties who did not lose their virginity that long ago and were stunned to learn that so many teenagers are sexually active. Mostly immigrants, but still.
"Everyone" is NOT banging the moment they start college.

Which immigrants because middle eastern, European, South American, and African all have more laxed issues than USA

[Anonymous]

OP- This thread has gone off the rails. The fact is that when someone has sex is about them not you. This may not have been what you wanted or expected but none of that matters. What matters is maintaining a good relationship with your daughter such that should something bad or unexpected happen to HER, she still knows you are in her corner and a safe space. Whether that is pregnancy or just getting her heart broken or doubts or nothing at all.

Your role now is to remind her about safety (including strongly suggesting she seek her own birth control), std’s, and that you are someone she can always talk to. Give her information about sex she may or may not have been aware of like cleanup afterwards. What healthy sexual relationships really look like. Remind her that should she always remember she is beautiful and worthy, sex or no sex. That she gets to choose for her self each and every time, including what’s she comfortable with and what’s she’s not. That she gets to communicate how things feel for her(pleasure works both ways). And that always she is Loved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of friends in their late twenties and early thirties who did not lose their virginity that long ago and were stunned to learn that so many teenagers are sexually active. Mostly immigrants, but still.
"Everyone" is NOT banging the moment they start college.

Which immigrants because middle eastern, European, South American, and African all have more laxed issues than USA

You're nuts