Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I reject the premise that getting married is some optimal goal/outcome.

Agreed. I’m in my 40s and know far more people getting divorced or already divorced, than happy couples. And the divorced women are HAPPY! Truly living their best lives after getting rid of dead weight. For them, marriage wasn’t everything it was cracked up to be.

I think this OP was started by a young married woman in her 20s that’s trying to justify her life choice. OP you need to realize that many single women and men are happy just the way they are, and lead very satisfying lives and don’t want to be married. I know you can’t stand to hear that, but it’s the truth. Accept it and move on.

Every divorced man I meet and bang is overjoyed to be free of his nagging, spendthrift shrew. So, yeah.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A couple of points:

As a man I don't want to raise someone else's kids. (You want a good man? Don't have kids outside of marriage.)

Many women in DC are smart, that's great! But many are ~40+ and have prioritized their careers over family for most of their lives. I don't care about the status-level of my partner's job. I don't care how much money my partner makes. I do care if someone will be a good partner and can give me time and togetherness. (The DC area dating apps are filled with attractive, single, smart, 40 year old female attorneys.)

Women who are fat aren't attractive. (Most women who are online dating are obese. You want a good man? Have good hygiene, go to the gym regularly and diet.)

Women who are old aren't attractive. (You want a man? Lock one down before you turn 35-40. After 45 most women are invisible to men and you'll be stuck dating 60 year old men.)

Most people (men or women) who are still dating and never married by their late 30s-40s aren't partner material. (Emotional, psychological, sexual, commitment issues...)

Are looks important to men? Yes! And sex and a real emotional connection.

One easy fact about dating: if you want to find someone who will commit to you, date someone who is less attractive than you are. If you are a 6, date a 4 or 5.

Either you are in your late 30s-40s and aren't partner material by your own admission or you are too young to know what you are talking about. In any case, your only meaningful contribution to this thread is some eyerolls.

I'm another different man and he's spot on if a little too blunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A couple of points :

As a man I don't want to raise someone else's kids. (You want a good man? Don't have kids outside of marriage.)

Many women in DC are smart, that's great! But many are ~40+ and have prioritized their careers over family for most of their lives. I don't care about the status-level of my partner's job. I don't care how much money my partner makes. I do care if someone will be a good partner and can give me time and togetherness. (The DC area dating apps are filled with attractive, single, smart, 40 year old female attorneys.)

Women who are fat aren't attractive. (Most women who are online dating are obese. You want a good man? Have good hygiene, go to the gym regularly and diet.)


Women who are old aren't attractive. (You want a man? Lock one down before you turn 35-40. After 45 most women are invisible to men and you'll be stuck dating 60 year old men.)

Most people (men or women) who are still dating and never married by their late 30s-40s aren't partner material. (Emotional, psychological, sexual, commitment issues...)

Are looks important to men? Yes! And sex and a real emotional connection.

One easy fact about dating: if you want to find someone who will commit to you, date someone who is less attractive than you are. If you are a 6, date a 4 or 5.

A couple of points:

As a woman I don't want to raise someone else's kids. (You want a good woman? Don't have kids outside of marriage.)

Some men in DC are smart, that's great! But many are ~40+ and have prioritized their careers over family for most of their lives. I don't care about the status-level of my partner's job. I don't care how much money my partner makes. I do care if someone will be a good partner and can give me time and togetherness.

Men who are fat aren't attractive. (Most men who are online dating are obese. You want a good woman? Have good hygiene, go to the gym regularly and diet. Maybe find a way to maintain your hairline? Take some vitamins. Use some skin cream. Make sure your beard isn't full of crumbs and growing in wild like pubes.)

Men who are old aren't attractive. (You want a woman? Lock one down before you turn 35-40. After 45 most men are gross. Wrinkly, saggy, fat guts on toothpick legs. You'll be stuck as an incel.)

Most people (men or women) who are still dating and never married by their late 30s-40s aren't partner material. (Emotional, psychological, sexual, commitment issues...)

Are looks important to women? Yes! And sex and a real emotional connection. If you've never satisfied a female partner, maybe you shouldn't date.

One easy fact about dating: if you want to find someone who will commit to you, date someone who is less attractive than you are. If you are a 6, date a 4 or 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so weird. 90% of the women I know are married and actually happy in their marriages. Most of the husbands are nice and involved with their kids. I see many of them at school pick-up, hanging out at the playground until the playground "closes" for aftercare. They are also on the grade-level WhatsApp chats posting pics from whatever school sports game/XC meet happened over the weekend.

Just curious how old you are and your socioeconomic background. This is definitely what I see among the highly educated women and men that I work with that are under age 40 or so. For those of us over age 50 or so, somewhat different, and I suspect also maybe in different geographical or socioeconomic communities.

DP but I agree with the PP's description. We are UMC (Bethesda neighborhood) and early 40s, kids in preschool and elementary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone gave me this great advice:
Why buy the cow when the milk is free…
And when the cow gets old, get a younger one.

Male cows don't produce milk. And only the young ones are used as studs. So, what should we do with the old heifers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read that piece and agree that there is some "male drift." Most college educated women I know want to marry professional men.

Also, sociology 101 shows that in populations where men are outnumbered by women, there are lower rates of marriage because men do not need to try to "lock down" women. Instead, they take the advantage of the availability of casual relationships, sometimes more than one at the same time.

Misogyny is not tolerated in a society where women have options and education. Take China. There's so many leftover men who can't find wives. They should need to "lock down" women (note that marriage must be awful for women if you're comparing it to prison) since casual relationships are looked down on in communist China and there's a limited supply of women. Yet they have a population crisis because even in desperation the men think they're better than women and are not willing to try harder to be a catch.

If you don't like a greasy haired pimply partner, then you shouldn't be one. If you don't like fat partners, don't be one. If you want someone who will help make your life easier, be someone who makes people's lives easier. Too often, men think they're better than women and don't put forth effort. Then they are surprised when women pick pets, parents, siblings, friends, careers and hobbies over looking for relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The entire point was to portray the lonely women as victims of misogyny and patriarchy. Nothing is their fault. Have an out of wedlock baby with a thug absent baby daddy? Not her fault. Etc.

Males haven't drifted anywhere. If a woman is sweet.kind sexy and loyal, not extremely and openly promiscuous and not insane, she will have no trouble finding a good man to wife her up. That's pretty much the way it's always been. If she has unreasonable expectations of reality that is not realitys fault and it's not the fault of men. Sorry but most guys don't want an obese illiterate low income baby mama nor do they want a neurotic whacko refugee from a woody Allen movie who thinks drawing a bunch of circles will solve her problems.

If a man is sweet, kind, sexy and loyal, not extremely and openly promiscuous and not insane, he will have no trouble finding a good woman to hub him up. That's pretty much the way it would have always been, if not for patriarchy. If he has unreasonable expectations of reality that is not reality's fault and it's not the fault of women. Sorry but most ladies don't want an obese, illiterate, low-income dong-slinger who can't clean a kitchen, doesn't have a dime saved in a 401k, and spends all his time shouting abuse into a microphone while playing games against 12yolds. If you're losing to a cat, you need to take a hard look at the reality you're currently cowering from.

[Anonymous]

80% of men and women aren’t marriage material

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone gave me this great advice:
Why buy the cow when the milk is free…
And when the cow gets old, get a younger one.

Male cows don't produce milk. And only the young ones are used as studs. So, what should we do with the old heifers?

FYI a heifer is a juvenile female cow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple of points:

As a man I don't want to raise someone else's kids. (You want a good man? Don't have kids outside of marriage.)

Many women in DC are smart, that's great! But many are ~40+ and have prioritized their careers over family for most of their lives. I don't care about the status-level of my partner's job. I don't care how much money my partner makes. I do care if someone will be a good partner and can give me time and togetherness. (The DC area dating apps are filled with attractive, single, smart, 40 year old female attorneys.)

Women who are fat aren't attractive. (Most women who are online dating are obese. You want a good man? Have good hygiene, go to the gym regularly and diet.)

Women who are old aren't attractive. (You want a man? Lock one down before you turn 35-40. After 45 most women are invisible to men and you'll be stuck dating 60 year old men.)

Most people (men or women) who are still dating and never married by their late 30s-40s aren't partner material. (Emotional, psychological, sexual, commitment issues...)

Are looks important to men? Yes! And sex and a real emotional connection.

One easy fact about dating: if you want to find someone who will commit to you, date someone who is less attractive than you are. If you are a 6, date a 4 or 5.




You're funny! Wrong about some things, but funny.
There's a lid for every pot. Ifyou want a lid, find one that fits. Not too tight, doesn't slip off, etc.
Not everyone wants to get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone gave me this great advice:
Why buy the cow when the milk is free…
And when the cow gets old, get a younger one.

Male cows don't produce milk. And only the young ones are used as studs. So, what should we do with the old heifers?

Incorrect. A quality bull will be kept well into middle age. A quality milk cow will be done at 4 years, and turned into Big Macs, or if she's lucky, a Big Bacon Classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone gave me this great advice:
Why buy the cow when the milk is free…
And when the cow gets old, get a younger one.

Male cows don't produce milk. And only the young ones are used as studs. So, what should we do with the old heifers?

Incorrect. A quality bull will be kept well into middle age. A quality milk cow will be done at 4 years, and turned into Big Macs, or if she's lucky, a Big Bacon Classic.

I mean, we’re not cows. There are “grandmas” in the chimp population. Women (who survive childbirth) tend to live longer than men. None of this is biological accident, and it can’t be attributed solely to the jobs they perform. There is a biological reason non-fertile women stick around - on the whole it advances the species.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Why buy the cow when the milk is free…

Why buy the whole pig when you just want a little sausage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If a man is sweet, kind, sexy and loyal, not extremely and openly promiscuous and not insane, he will have no trouble finding a good woman to hub him up. That's pretty much the way it would have always been, if not for patriarchy.

No, young women revile sweet, kind nerds. They adore hot tattooed felons like Jeremy Meeks, and they write letters to serial killers. If the man is sexy, then he can be mean, criminal, promiscuous, and insane. Same with women.

The difference is that we don't blame single women for being unkind and unworthy. But we victim-blame men instead admitting they are just short, bald, ugly nerds.

Marriage rate were higher under the "patriarchy" than the current permissive society with single parents and no-fault divorce. Of course, "accidental" home poisonings were higher too. The patriarchy was good at shotgun marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why buy the cow when the milk is free…

Why buy the whole pig when you just want a little sausage?

You are amazing PP, keep (re)writing!