As a woman what have you learned about men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman what have you learned about men and relationships? Would love to know your age with your response. My daughter recently asked me for advice about men/dating and it got me curious about the lessons other women might share.

Honestly, I never really considered men to be “people”. I just thought they were different creatures all together that one couldn’t be friends with past puberty. Not sensitive. Not kind. Only out for sex and money. I was in my 30s before I made a good, platonic (like, actually platonic!
Not fwb.) straight, male friend. I was really, truly ignorant!

[Anonymous]

Based on a sample size of one I know they are not needy, like to solve problems, are not great talkers but good listeners, have little patience with women complaining about other women, loves to read but not into tv except for sports and the BBC, very knowledgeable about world affairs, loves mentoring whether they be children or employees, can be very sweet but sometimes cold and distant, definitely enjoys sex but doesn’t whine about it…at least to me, can be very funny but not a joke teller, is very generous and successful but doesn’t talk about it. Based on comments from my GFs he may be a unicorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman what have you learned about men and relationships? Would love to know your age with your response. My daughter recently asked me for advice about men/dating and it got me curious about the lessons other women might share.

Honestly, I never really considered men to be “people”. I just thought they were different creatures all together that one couldn’t be friends with past puberty. Not sensitive. Not kind. Only out for sex and money. I was in my 30s before I made a good, platonic (like, actually platonic!
Not fwb.) straight, male friend. I was really, truly ignorant!

This is some real cope PP. You actually think you found a unicorn straight guy who wants to be plat oic with you but is not secretly harboring a hope that someday he might get a.fhsnce.ti have sex with you? What makes this guy different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on a sample size of one I know they are not needy, like to solve problems, are not great talkers but good listeners, have little patience with women complaining about other women, loves to read but not into tv except for sports and the BBC, very knowledgeable about world affairs, loves mentoring whether they be children or employees, can be very sweet but sometimes cold and distant, definitely enjoys sex but doesn’t whine about it…at least to me, can be very funny but not a joke teller, is very generous and successful but doesn’t talk about it. Based on comments from my GFs he may be a unicorn.

He’s not a unicorn. Plenty men are like this.

[Anonymous]

Men want and need to be loved, too. Am 53.

[Anonymous]

They are not all that! They will fall in your hand if you don’t take them seriously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.

I believe the above. But the question was what have you learned about men, not how to get or keep one.

Realizing that 98% of what men care about when choosing a spouse/ romantic partner is looks is something that I wish I would have learned earlier.

This might be true for 98% of the men that you attract.

Most of us do care about looks, but only to the extent that we want somebody equally attractive as we consider ourselves. After establishing our dating pool we choose somebody that we enjoy spending time with.

Oh I know, but as someone in the bottom half of attractiveness I knew that my looks wouldn’t be 98% of what my partner would care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are optimists. They patiently tolerate all the b.s. and hypocrisy ladled out by the women in their lives hoping that one day the woman will suddenly become enlightened. Even though the odds strongly disfavor that ever happening. "But but but only a LOSER baby man expects the woman to pay for a date!!!![said the feminist].". Lol.

NP. Exactly what part of "as a woman" was unclear to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From this thread, it sounds like women are raising crappy men. Do better, moms.

Lol

I see what you did there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are selfish in a way I think most women cannot even fathom, we are socialized so differently. Nothing malicious, but they are very clear in their prioritization of Self.

They are visual and a lot of them are cheaters.

They definitely do not GAF about sexual assault, childhood sexual abuse, sexual harassment, the glass ceiling or any other pernicious plague that affects women and girls disproportionately. See point one.

Women are a lot harder on/more critical of other women’s appearances than men are.

They will do a lot to be with a woman if they want to be with her. There are no mixed signals if a man is into you.

They don’t know how good they have it.

If you didn't have a good father, or perhaps none was present in your life at all, causing you to be permanently embittered against all men, at some point you will have to acknowledge that your mom shared 50% of the responsibility for helping to create that scenario. You can't have it both ways. You had a mother AND a sperm donor. And both are equally responsible. As an adult, you are 100% responsible for your decision to carry a grudge against all men because Daddy didn't live you or maybe wasn't there at all.

Statistically speaking, most do cheat.

How is it ever possible to know this statistic? The best estimates are unreliable but put the number below half, probably below a quarter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are not as holistic-thinking as women. Part nature, part socialization. They will never be responsible for having a body which grows or feeds another life, so they don’t naturally understand how to think for the whole. This can be taught, but it’s important to recognize it doesn’t come naturally.

Men express themselves differently. Joy, anger, sadness may be expressed physically rather than verbally. This may be nature or socialization, the point is that it is this way. So they need sex more to feel good, they need to exercise more to feel good.

Men are much more limited in how they can be. It’s not acceptable to wear dresses, they are still expected to earn and provide, they are supposed to be confident without receiving compliments or attention. For men who fall outside these boxes, life is difficult. Women face a lot of obstacles in life but do have more freedom in how they can present themselves.

What do you mean by holistic? Men put a lot of energy into thinking about decisions in the areas they care about. Just watch them choose a bike.

In corporate environments, men think about the ins and outs of every option while women do the minimum and rush out the door. That’s because more men value advancement at work instead of just viewing it as a paycheck.

[Anonymous]

That they are individuals, and very different from one another. In other words, just like women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are selfish in a way I think most women cannot even fathom, we are socialized so differently. Nothing malicious, but they are very clear in their prioritization of Self.

They are visual and a lot of them are cheaters.

They definitely do not GAF about sexual assault, childhood sexual abuse, sexual harassment, the glass ceiling or any other pernicious plague that affects women and girls disproportionately. See point one.

Women are a lot harder on/more critical of other women’s appearances than men are.

They will do a lot to be with a woman if they want to be with her. There are no mixed signals if a man is into you.

They don’t know how good they have it.

If you didn't have a good father, or perhaps none was present in your life at all, causing you to be permanently embittered against all men, at some point you will have to acknowledge that your mom shared 50% of the responsibility for helping to create that scenario. You can't have it both ways. You had a mother AND a sperm donor. And both are equally responsible. As an adult, you are 100% responsible for your decision to carry a grudge against all men because Daddy didn't live you or maybe wasn't there at all.

Statistically speaking, most do cheat.

How is it ever possible to know this statistic? The best estimates are unreliable but put the number below half, probably below a quarter.

Men will admit it in therapy and in studies and it’s closer to 60% married 80% non married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No man truly wants or expects to carry household responsibilities 50/50.

For many of them, that's because they expect to carry more than 50% of some of the non-household responsibilities.

Such as?

Sex, paid labor, yard work, exterior repairs, killing bugs, managing finances, fighting wolves should any materialize, carpentry, coaching kids' sports, oil changes, fixing the home WiFi network. I don't know - could be lots of things.

I'm sure plenty of men don't carrying their fair share of the overall burdens faced by a family. But just singling out "household responsibilities" -- which I think lots of people would understand as domestic chores like cooking, cleaning, and child care -- is to put a thumb on the scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No man truly wants or expects to carry household responsibilities 50/50.

For many of them, that's because they expect to carry more than 50% of some of the non-household responsibilities.

Such as?

Sex, paid labor, yard work, exterior repairs, killing bugs, managing finances, fighting wolves should any materialize, carpentry, coaching kids' sports, oil changes, fixing the home WiFi network. I don't know - could be lots of things.

I'm sure plenty of men don't carrying their fair share of the overall burdens faced by a family. But just singling out "household responsibilities" -- which I think lots of people would understand as domestic chores like cooking, cleaning, and child care -- is to put a thumb on the scale.

You forgot opening jars.

But seriously, women also coach sports, change oil, and can connect WiFi. 🧐