Phrase to get strangers to stop admonishing autistic child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. To more fully paint the picture, the woman in the food truck was saying to my child, “I still have ice cream, but little girls who talk to their mothers that way can’t have any.” To an autistic child mid-meltdown. It did not help the situation.

Apologize and say she’s in shut down mode. Then remove her from the situation and scene.

Don’t take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why OP is so bothered by what other adults are saying. Many people don't know what it is like to parent a special needs child. I'm not going to bother to educate them when my kid is having a melt-down. I have accepted that the world will be a tougher place, and that's not my fault, nor is it my kid's fault. I'm not going to make it even more tough by reacting to people like the ice cream truck person.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"f*** off* is quite effective. You can say it another way, but if that is the message, it will be received.

This kind of reaction is how things escalate out of control. Be aware that in this day and age, sadly, it can mean a gun.

+1 to this. Any sort of rude, confrontational response is basically escalating the situation and can lead to violence. There are a lot of people out there who will not take "f--k off" well and will think nothing of punching you, getting in your face, or shooting you. And then your child will be without a parent.

Plus this is a school event. If a parent uttered that it would just signal to everyone else to steer far clear of someone like that. Totally inappropriate given the situation.

Yep. The mom who tells a service worker to f—k off at a school event is out of line and not someone I want my kids around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"f*** off* is quite effective. You can say it another way, but if that is the message, it will be received.

This kind of reaction is how things escalate out of control. Be aware that in this day and age, sadly, it can mean a gun.

+1 to this. Any sort of rude, confrontational response is basically escalating the situation and can lead to violence. There are a lot of people out there who will not take "f--k off" well and will think nothing of punching you, getting in your face, or shooting you. And then your child will be without a parent.

Plus this is a school event. If a parent uttered that it would just signal to everyone else to steer far clear of someone like that. Totally inappropriate given the situation.

Yep. The mom who tells a service worker to f—k off at a school event is out of line and not someone I want my kids around.

It depends on the context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"f*** off* is quite effective. You can say it another way, but if that is the message, it will be received.

This kind of reaction is how things escalate out of control. Be aware that in this day and age, sadly, it can mean a gun.

+1 to this. Any sort of rude, confrontational response is basically escalating the situation and can lead to violence. There are a lot of people out there who will not take "f--k off" well and will think nothing of punching you, getting in your face, or shooting you. And then your child will be without a parent.

Plus this is a school event. If a parent uttered that it would just signal to everyone else to steer far clear of someone like that. Totally inappropriate given the situation.

Yep. The mom who tells a service worker to f—k off at a school event is out of line and not someone I want my kids around.

It depends on the context.

No, not at school or on the school grounds.

[Anonymous]

I just say, “he is autistic. Please give us some space.” Or some derivative there of. Usually, the person is really embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

I don't have anything to add about how to respond, but I have always been shocked at what people would say to me about my child to my face! This was not even behavior--DS was really small for his age, and I remember several times where a person made a comment or asked how old, and then went on and on about his size, even after I deflected with something like "people come in all sizes." And he was old enough to understand. It was crazy, and it made me realize that there's no one way to shut down somebody like that.

I feel for you, OP.